


Professor Muggle: Year 2

by Beene



Series: The Professor Muggle Series [4]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-12 11:39:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 153,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beene/pseuds/Beene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After making it through a year at Hogwarts, Professor Muggle starts a new term with a fiancée, a new Headmaster and as Hufflepuff Head of House.  Hopefully his friends Neville, Harry, Ron and George can help him, not to mention a former Death Eater. As for the new Headmaster?  Not a fan of Muggle Studies.  </p><p>Sequel to Professor Muggle</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Three D's

**Chapter 1: The Three D’s**

 

 

“Happy Birthday, Melody!”

 

We sat around a magically expanded table in the yard of The Burrow, watching as Molly Weasley brought over a birthday cake with a single candle.  Sitting at the top of the table with Melody, my now twenty-four year old fiancée, I looked over at my friends.  Harry and Ginny Potter sat holding baby James, and next to them were Ron and Hermione Weasley, their best friends.  George and Angelina Weasley were on the other side next to Arthur Weasley.  Rounding out the table was Neville Longbottom and his girlfriend Hannah Abbott.  It was a small surprise party, as George had convinced Melody that he had needed to discuss the upcoming fireworks for Gwennog Jones’ retirement ceremonies at the next Harpies home game, and she had believed him.  I could always count on George.

 

I sat there and watched as my future bride blew out the candle and I couldn’t help but think about how much things had changed in the last year.  I had gone from being a very depressed literature instructor at a small college to teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland, from thinking that there was nothing special about me whatsoever to learning that I had inherited a very small amount of magical ability from a distant MacDonald ancestor.  I had made a group of amazing friends who were not only good people but were some of the most famous witches and wizards of the day, and in the case of Harry Potter, the most famous wizard on the planet.  I had survived being attacked on several occasions, including my brother’s wedding in Virginia, and had somehow helped defeat legislation that would have caused a major impact on the civil rights of people in the Wizarding world.  But most importantly, I had met a witch who had changed my life dramatically.  I now owned a house in a little village called Stintborough, had signed a contract to teach Muggle Studies again at Hogwarts and in the near future I was going to marry Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble.  Life was pretty damned good.

 

“One candle, Mum?  We know she’s way older than that.”  George looked over to Melody, who stuck out her tongue at him.

 

Molly walked past George and gave him a patented mother look, “After women come of age it’s not polite to discuss ages, George.  You should learn that.”

 

Angelina, George’s wife, just shook her head.  “Just give up on that one, Molly.  Remember who you’re talking to.  For our one month anniversary he gave me a chocolate frog.”

 

I leaned over to Melody, “I’ll do better than George, I promise.”

 

She chuckled slightly and leaned up towards me, “That won’t be too hard.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The last Friday of August found me at my desk in the Muggle Studies classroom in Hogwarts, looking around and thinking how different things were since a year ago.  Back then I had no idea how anything worked, I was depressed as hell, and my only real friend was Neville Longbottom, the Acting Headmaster.  Classes would start next week, and then I’d be back in the midst of things, but for now it was very quiet in my classroom; nothing but the Wizarding Wireless that I’d brought in.  After being at Colony House for the last month I was used to having my music, but now I was back in the quiet of Hogwarts.  Colony House, still had a hard time calling my Stintborough house that, but George had come up with it and it’d stuck.  The “American Muggle Colony” is what he’d called it, and it was much easier saying Colony House than going through the whole address when using the Floo.  The wireless was on a Quidditch program, and the commentators were discussing the Harpies’ chances now that Gwennog Jones had retired and Ginny Potter had left the team.  I listened for a bit, and then remembered that I had a meeting in a half hour or so, but I wasn’t looking forward to it; the new Hogwarts Headmaster was having his all-staff meeting.

 

“You look like you’ve done this before.”

 

I looked up to see Neville walk in and take a seat on top of the closest table.

 

“Hopefully better than last time.  How’ve you been?”

 

“Pretty well, actually.  I’ve got some things started in the greenhouse that should keep my students busy.”  Then he smiled “So, how’s the wedding planning going?”

 

I rolled my eyes.  “I pretty much just let the women do that.  The only thing I’m in charge of is showing up at the ceremony.  Right now we’ve got a couple of dates in mind, all after the term is over.”  Well, I thought about it, and I knew I wanted to ask him, and now seemed like a good time.  “Neville, I want to ask you something…would you be my best man?

 

“Me?  Of course, but I figured you’d ask Harry…or one of your brothers.”  Neville looked taken aback, but in a good way.

 

“Neville, my brothers will be groomsmen, but I thought I’d ask my best friend to stand up with me.  You were there for me so many times last year; I don’t know how I would have made it through without you.”

 

He walked over and I stood up to shake his outstretched hand.  “I’d be honored, Hank.”

 

“Thanks, Neville.  And don’t worry, you can tell Hannah that Melody made sure of everything, you’ll be walking down the aisle with Ginny.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I’d taken a seat next to Professor Cho Chang in the Headmaster’s office, and we’d chatted about her Charms class for a bit, but I sensed that the whole room was nervous.  Nobody had met the new Headmaster yet; from what Cho had said he was meeting with the new Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers and would be joining us soon.  I was about to go speak with Minerva McGonagall’s portrait, which was now awake and smiling at us, but before I could do anything Mr. Filch walked in, looking happy.  _Crap_.  If Filch was happy, that didn’t bode well for the rest of us.  I didn’t have much time to reflect on Flich’s state of mind, though, because the door opened and three people walked in.  The first was a woman in her mid-thirties, if I had to guess.  She had long, brown hair which was braided into a single plait that almost reached the middle of her back, and she had a smile on her very tan and weather beaten-looking face.  Her robe was a deep crimson color, and when she sat down I noticed that something seemed to be wrong with her left hand.  The second person through the door was an elderly wizard, a very round man with several tufts of white hair that seemed to stick out as if he’d just had a severe electrical shock, but what stuck out the most was that he had small golden hoop earring in his left ear.  He sat next to the new woman, leaving the third person to walk to the Headmaster’s desk and take a seat in the chair.

 

He clasped his hands together in front of him, and in a very deep voice said “Good afternoon, Professors.  My name is Charles Flurbin, and I am the new Headmaster of Hogwarts.”

 

 He let that sit in the air for a while, giving me a chance to look at him.  His dirty blonde hair reminded me of an old Professor of mine, as he was unsuccessfully trying to fool everyone with a comb-over to hide his bald spot.  I guessed his age at around sixty or so, and he was of average height and weight.  His robe was jet-black with no pattern, and he was wearing a white shirt with a green bow-tie.  His eyebrows were bushy, which matched his very large mustache, and he was even paler than me.  He stroked his mustache, and took a breath as if to say something, but stopped.  He looked around at the expectant faces and continued in that booming voice.

 

“Last year was a transitional year for Hogwarts, as the unfortunate passing of Headmistress McGonagall was a loss to all.  Professor Longbottom did an admirable job of carrying out the position through the term, but it is time that we return to the basics of education at Hogwarts, what I call the Three D’s:  Dedication.  Development.  Discipline.  After reviewing the coursework, we will be making a few changes at Hogwarts.  Before I go into that, I’d like to introduce your new colleagues.  Professor Titus?”

 

The elderly wizard with the tufty hair stood up.  Flurbin nodded at him.  “Professor Gavin Titus is a colleague of mine from the Ministry of Magic.  He taught Transfiguration in Ireland for several years before coming back to work at the Ministry.  Thank you, Professor Titus.”

 

Titus nodded and turned around to wave at us.  He seemed like someone’s grandfather, the one who always gave you candy when you weren’t supposed to have it.

 

“And Professor Farnsworth.”  Flurbin motioned towards the brown-haired woman, who stood and smiled.  “Professor Petal Farnsworth has decided to enter teaching; this will be her first year.  Previously she was an Auror until an unfortunate accident forced her from that profession.  Her experience will be greatly appreciated by DADA students.”

 

After Professor Farnsworth sat down and Flurbin’s tone changed; instead of the polite, dinner party host he seemed to turn into a disappointed parent.

 

“Hogwarts will be returning to its core values of education.  Some of the instructor choices last year were,” he paused as if trying to find the right word, looking at me the whole time, “unorthodox, therefore we will be returning to a more traditional schedule.  Some of the softer options available to students will not be as widely available.  Care of Magical Creatures, Divination and Muggle Studies will have reduced class periods, smaller student populations and are now optional classes.  Furthermore, we will be returning Muggle Studies to an optional class for all students third year and up, back it to its traditional role.”

 

 _Fuck me.  I’d just got one year under my belt and now this guy was cutting my class size and the availability of Muggle Studies?_   I tried to look over at Neville quickly and see his reaction, but he didn’t see me.  I’d have to talk to him about it later.  Hagrid, who hadn’t attended the meeting, would probably not take it well.  Sybil Trelawney was sitting behind me, so I couldn’t see her, but my guess was that she wouldn’t be happy, either.

 

“Furthermore” Flurbin continued “you will be receiving your Instructor’s Guide shortly.  This Guide will be your manual regarding classroom instruction and student conduct.  Mr. Filch and I have gone over the manual, and while some of Mr. Filch’s ideas are, shall we say, somewhat severe, we have agreed that the manual does provide the discipline guidelines needed at Hogwarts.

 

_This was just getting better and better; where the hell was George Weasley when I needed him?  Fuck._

 

Flurbin cleared his throat and stroked his mustache again.  I had a feeling I was going to hate seeing that.  “Please continue preparing your classrooms for the rest of the day.  For those of you who had previously assigned textbooks, they will remain as approved curriculum for this term.  For those of you who did not specify a textbook,” again he looked directly at me, “I have selected the appropriate text.  All students have been notified of the textbook change, so they will be ready for class on September second.  Now if you would all excuse me, I have some matters to discuss with Mr. Filch.  I will see you on the First.  Good day.”

 

I stood up and looked over at Cho who gave me a very sad and sympathetic smile.  As I made my way out of the Headmaster’s office I caught up with Neville.

 

“What the hell, Neville?  Who is this guy?”

 

Neville shook his head, “No idea, Hank.”

 

“Are you sure you can’t change your mind about being Headmaster?”

 

“Too late for that, I’m afraid.”  Neville sighed deeply.

 

“What’s the matter, Neville?”

 

“He reminds me of Umbridge, Hank.  That’s not good.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I stopped in front of the portrait of Sir Cadogan, and he saluted me.  I feebly saluted back and just stood there looking at the painting.  Now what?  I felt like I had just been told that my class didn’t matter, that it was fluff like Divination.  Ok, most of Divination was crap, but every now and then Sybil came out with something good.  Last year she had told me that she saw a great change coming into my life, but I had blown it off.  At that point every five minutes was a great change; going from teaching in Virginia to teaching at Hogwarts meant that everything was a great change, even walking to my classroom.  I hadn’t remembered her comments until I’d been engaged for about a week, but still…damn.

 

“Professor Boyd?”  I turned around to see Professor Farnsworth with a smile on her face as she walked over to me.  She put out her hand and I shook it.  “Nice to meet you.  Ron Weasley’s told me a lot about you.”

 

“Ron?  Oh, that’s right; you used to be an Auror.”  I couldn’t help myself, I looked down at her left hand, which was missing two fingers and looked several shades of mottled red.

 

She smiled and held up her hand.  “It’s all right, I’m used to it.  Very unlucky with a cursed item in Wales.  It’s a three butterbeer story.”  She didn’t seem phased at all, and I felt better about my rudeness.

 

“Sounds like a good idea.  I have a feeling I’m going to need a few of those.”

 

“I’m sorry about your class.  For the record I don’t agree, I think Muggle Studies should be compulsory for every year.  I’ve seen what happens with Muggle and Wizard interactions, and if we knew more I think we’d have fewer incidents.”

 

Her eyes were very kind, and she seemed very likable.  It was out of my mouth before I could really think about it.  “Would you like to come to dinner on Saturday night?  My fiancée and I live right outside of Hogsmeade in Stintborough.”

 

“Thank you, I’d like that.”  She shook my hand again, “very nice to meet you, Professor Boyd.”

 

“Same here and please call me Hank.  Seven o’clock work for you?”

 

“Sounds lovely.  Thanks, Hank, and please call me Petal.”

 

I walked into my classroom and there it was, right smack in the middle of my desk.  _Muggles Among Us_ by Frederick Hildensnort _.  Fucking hell._   I picked it up tossed it off of my desk, over my shoulder, not caring where it landed.  The Hogwart’s Instructor’s Guide was sat at the top right of my desk, and it was a very thick book with gold lettering and three bookmarks in the front few pages.  I pulled out the bookmarks which read Dedication, Development and Discipline.  Merlin’s pants.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When I got back to Colony House there was a large box sitting beside the front door, and after looking for a few minutes I realized what it was; stuff from Mom and Dad that didn’t come over in the big shipment.  Mel and I had received a big shipment a few weeks earlier, furniture and things that Mom decided I needed.  I had moved Granddad’s desk into my office, and we’d arranged the china cabinet, but I couldn’t figure out what would be left to send over.  More importantly, I couldn’t figure out how to get the box inside the house, as there was no way it was getting through the door.  After walking out to the shed and getting some tools I pried open the box to find…another box.  Mom and her packing.  At least this box I could get through the door.

 

After maneuvering it through the door and banging all of my knuckles on the door frame the box finally sat in the living room, and I opened it up.  Pictures, a couple of quilts, more pictures and a cherry-wood box, about the length of a shoe box but twice as wide.  I opened it up and there sat Grandpa Boyd’s pipes.  I remembered several of them, some I’d never seen before, but a total of six pipes sat inside in little partitions, with pipe cleaners and other paraphernalia.  Well, Melody didn’t want me smoking cigarettes anymore, and I only smoked cigars on occasions, but she’d never said anything about a pipe.  There was no pipe tobacco in the box, and if there had been it would have probably been older than Melody, so I decided to go into the village and see if I could find any.

 

The old Morris Minor I’d bought off of an elderly lady wasn’t a luxury car by any means, but it got me to the places I needed to go as a Muggle.  I’d used the money I received from selling my house in Virginia, so I had more than enough to buy a really decent car, but what was the point?  It wasn’t like I was going to commute every day.  I’d tried giving Melody a driving lesson, but that had been a horrible disaster and I was just happy the clutch was still functional.  It felt good to be out driving after the day I’d had, so I rolled the window down and thought about nothing but driving.   It took me about thirty minutes to get to the village, and I found the shop, picked up some more milk, tea and found a decent cherry pipe tobacco that reminded me of Grandpa.  I’d made it back and was sitting in the garden with my pipe when Melody came home.

 

“What is that smell?”

 

“Hi honey, your day had to be better than mine.  And it’s my pipe.”

 

She walked out into the garden and gave me a look as if I’d just told her that I was a fish.  “Why, for Merlin’s sake, are you smoking a pipe?  And where did you get it?  Did it come in the box that you opened and just left in the living room?”

 

She’d been on me since we started living together about putting things away, and I explained about the pipes and the box, but more importantly I told her about Flurbin, the ranking of Muggle Studies with Divination and the three D’s.  “Oh yeah” I remembered, “I invited the new DADA professor over for supper tomorrow night.  Hope that’s ok?”

 

“It’s fine, I guess, Hank, but you should really check with me beforehand.  What if I had plans?”

 

“Um, do you have any plans?”

 

“No, but that’s not the point.”

 

This day was turning out to be wonderful.  “Let’s invite Ron and Hermione over as well.  Professor Farnsworth said she used to be an Auror with Ron.”

 

Melody cocked her head at me, “So you invited a single witch over for dinner?”

 

“It’s not like that, really.”

 

Then I got the look I was hoping for.  “Oh, I’m just winding you up.  That’s fine, but you’re cooking.”  She looked at me for a few minutes longer.  “And no pipe.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I stood at the stove while Ron and Petal talked Auror shop and Melody and Hermione talked wedding.  I was the Muggle out of place, I guess, but at least the pasta was coming along nicely.  Ron and Hermione had arrived first, so it made things easier when Petal arrived, as she didn’t walk into the house not knowing anybody.  Ok, we’d met the previous day, but we’d probably said about twenty words in total to each other.  I concentrated on the meatballs, as it made things easier than thinking about my upcoming year at Hogwarts.  Dammit, I was really looking forward to the year, I’d planned out my syllabus and coursework, and I’d intended on using part of my textbook as a sort-of trial with my classes.  So much for that.

 

“Is it ready yet?”  Ron was looking over my shoulder and was just about ready to put a wooden spoon into the sauce for an advance taste.

 

“Few more minutes.”

 

“It’d go faster if you used magic.”

 

“Ron, you know the rules here, right?  This is a Muggle-only house, no magic at all.”  I looked over my shoulder to see that Petal had joined the women and was busy chatting.  “So what do you know about Petal?”

 

“Damn good Auror.  It’s a shame that curse hit her in Wales.  She’s smart, good person.  She’ll do fine.”

 

“If she’s allowed to.”  I stirred a bit then added the meatballs to the sauce.  “Ron, you know anything about Flurbin, the new Headmaster?  Maybe you could do a little research.”

 

“Sorry, mate, not allowed.”  He shook his head, “Can’t just go digging into people’s pasts because they’re nasty.  Have to have just cause, you know.”

 

 _Well crap._   “Ok, it’s ready now.  Tell the ladies, will you?”

 

Ron turned around and half-shouted into the living room “Oi, food’s ready.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Melody and I assured Hermione that we weren’t insulted by Ron’s lack of manners and we all tucked in.  I’d had to pull a chair out of my office for the dinner as we only had a small table with four chairs.  The meal went pleasantly enough, but eventually the topic turned to Flurbin.

 

“Neville told me that he reminded her of Umbridge.”

 

Hermione sat her fork down mid-bite.  “Oh bloody hell.  That woman…”

 

I was shocked, as I’d never heard Hermione talk like that before.  Ron yes, but not Hermione.  This couldn’t be good.  For the next twenty minutes or so I was informed of Umbridge’s reign, how it had been one of the low points in Hogwarts history and the impetus that drove George and Fred Weasley out of Hogwarts.  Hermione had started the story, but Ron finished it for her, as she was still upset after all these years, of how Harry and Hermione “disposed” of Umbridge.

 

“Damn, that was awful.”  Petal looked over at the Weasleys and shook her head.  “If I would have known that Flurbin was going to be anywhere close to that I don’t know if I would have taken the job.  I think I could have pushed parchment in the Auror’s office instead.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that, Petal.  You could have stayed on the job.”  Ron looked over at his former colleague “You could have kept being an Auror.  Mad-Eye kept going after lots worse.”

 

Petal shook her head.  “My heart wasn’t in it anymore, Ron.  You know what they say, an Auror has to be fully committed, and after Wales I just wasn’t anymore.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After saying goodnight to our guests Melody and I retired to the bedroom.  She put her head on my chest and we laid there for several minutes in silence.

 

“I’m sorry about the new Headmaster and everything at Hogwarts, Hank.  I know you were really looking forward to this year.”

 

“Thanks, love.”  I smoothed her hair which was growing longer, and brushed it away from her face over her ear.  “I really was excited about this year, but now I don’t know about anything.”

 

“Anything?”

 

“Well, almost anything.”  I kissed her and reached over to turn out the lights, but before I could touch the lamp it went off.  “Melody, no magic!”

 

“Definitely no magic going on in the bedroom.”

 


	2. Underwater Basket Weaving and Owl Magnets

**Chapter 2:  Underwater Basket Weaving and Owl Magnets**

 

I was sitting out in the garden in my pajamas and robe, smoking Granddad’s pipe when the sun came up.  Sleep had come in fits and starts and finally at four o’clock I decided that sleep just wasn’t going to come.  I grabbed a soda from the fridge, found a pipe and went outside.  For hours it was just me and the birds, I watched them move about the trees quickly and elegantly, and I listened to their calls seemingly without hearing anything.  I looked at the fence and watched the sun creep thought a crack between the fence posts and eventually climb over the top.  It hadn’t been long after that when Melody found me.

 

“What are you doing up?  It’s Saturday.”  I heard her sigh.  “The pipe again?”  She walked over and sat at our garden table.  “Thinking about Hogwarts again, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

She put her hand on my arm “Don’t worry; I’m sure it’ll work out fine.”

 

I kept looking at the fence.  I hoped she was right.

 

Later that morning I was in my home office looking through my textbook.  _Muggles Among Us_ was written in 1952, over fifty years ago.  There was so much that this book didn’t cover, the Civil Rights movement, all of the technological advances, the change in the political landscape.  Hell, a man had been on the moon since that book was written.  I flipped through the pages and found myself shaking my head.  _How was I going to teach out of this old thing?_   I was trying to figure out how to branch off from the book, to use it as a starting point when I heard the music.  I knew that theme song, and shook my head.

 

Walking into the living room I found Melody curled up on the couch with Churchill watching television, the DVD box beside her.  “Melody, you know that’s how Muggles think of witches.  Well, the ones that aren’t trying to steal their children.”

 

“At least she’s a cute witch.  Remind me to send Nate a nice thank you note.”

 

I sat down on the couch next to her, and after Churchill settled on my lap we watched part of the DVD box set of Bewitched!  Leave it to my brother to come up with that as a birthday present for Melody.  Mom and Dad had sent over a box for Melody that arrived right before her birthday, and she had insisted on opening it up immediately.  Mom (and Dad, but I knew Mom had picked it out) had sent a large stainless steel pineapple, not a life-sized one, but a flat artistic version.  I explained to Melody that the pineapple is a traditional symbol of welcome in the American South, and that it was meant to go on the outside of the house.  Jen and John and the kids had sent a very nice card, but it took some explaining when she’d opened up Nate’s present.  As the time had seemed right I gave up and gave her my presents as well.  I’d contacted Fiona’s Filigree and had another charm created, this one a small house somewhat in the shape of Colony House.  I’d also given her a shawl made out of the same moving liquid type fabric that I’d given her as a Christmas present and an iPod.  She’d been confused about the iPod for a while until I’d shown her how it worked.  She loved it, and an offhand remark about how the only person she knew who could do something like an iPod was George Weasley had given me an idea.  Later that night, though, when she found another box on the bed she wasn’t sure what to think.  Looking down to see that Churchill had given her the present made her give me a sideways glance, and when she found a flimsy black nightgown inside she’d turned quite red and told Churchill that he was a naughty kneazle.

 

“Hank?  Hello?”  She waved her hand in front of me.  “Want to watch the next DVB?”

 

“DVD, Mel.  Whatever’s fine.”

 

“Go take a walk or smoke that awful pipe or something.  You’re being cross.  Just remember to be yourself in a few hours; we’re going over to Grimmauld Place soon.”

 

 _Crap, I’d forgotten about that.  Usually I enjoyed seeing the Potters, but today?_   “Can we get out of it?”

 

“Most certainly not.  It’s the annual Hogwarts beginning of term barbeque.”

 

“Please tell me Harry didn’t invite all of the professors…or the new Headmaster.”

 

She shrugged as Churchill walked over and flopped on her lap.  “I don’t know, but we’re going.  Go sort yourself out.  I’m not dealing with grumpy Hank.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Melody’s fears were completely on-target, as I was officially grumpy.  Little things that never usually bothered me were huge issues as I’d cut myself shaving, I couldn’t find the shirt I wanted and the Floo powder was a giant annoyance.  I pulled a pipe out of my pocket and headed outside, saying hello to everybody inside as quickly as possible.  I found an empty chair next to the barbeque grill and sat down next to Arthur.

 

“Bad day, Hank?”  Arthur looked at me as if I might explode.

 

“Definitely.  You hear about the new Headmaster?”

 

“Flurbin?  Oh yes.  He was in the Ministry for years.  Still don’t know how he ended up as Headmaster.”  Arthur shook his head dismissively.  “Never did any teaching that I know of.  Worked mostly in administration the Department of International Magical Cooperation.”

 

“Well, he obviously didn’t work in your old department.”  I took out my pipe and lit it.  “If he had then I would have a decent textbook and regular class periods.  And a hell of a lot more students.”

 

Ron came up and handed Arthur and me a butterbeer then sat down.  “Hey Hank, has Melody been cooking lately?  Did you bring any food over today?”

 

“Um, no.  Ginny said not to bring any food.  Melody can only cook eggs Muggle style anyway.  Why?”

 

Ron had a funny look on his face.  “It’s weird, Hermione said she isn’t feeling well, and then Ginny said she felt awful, too.  I just figured Melody made an appetizer or something.”

 

“Nope, we just brought some butterbeer.”  Hmm…I hoped the food would be ok, as I realized that I was hungry.  “Anybody start the grill yet?”

 

Arthur turned to me “We were waiting for you, Hank.  Thought we’d do it the Muggle way again.”

 

Ron groaned.  “That’ll take a bloody long time.”

 

I wasn’t in the mood.  “Just wizard it up, Ron.  I don’t feel like being the grill master this year.”

 

“Nice pipe.  Very professorial.”

 

I looked up to see George standing next to us.  “I like the pipe.  It was my Grandpa’s.”

 

George looked at me with a sly grin.  “And what does the future Mrs. Boyd think of it?”

 

“Sod off, George.”

 

I walked into the kitchen to get another butterbeer when I overheard Molly and Melody talking.  I stopped as I heard Melody say “I don’t know what to do, Molly.  He’s as tetchy as a wounded hippogriff, and now he’s started up with that pipe.”

 

Molly’s voice was comforting, soothing in tone.  “Melody, he’ll have to work it out on his own.  I’m sure if you just let him be for a while he’ll come around.  They always do.”

 

 _Wonderful_.  I quietly got another butterbeer and headed back outside to find Harry had joined the barbeque grill crew.  He was sitting next to Ron, and the two of them were discussing something quietly, most likely secret Auror stuff.  I sat down in the empty chair and watched George and Arthur work the grill.  At least I’d get some decent sausage out of the afternoon.  I looked over towards Harry.

 

“Is this everybody?  Not a big deal like last year?”

 

Harry shook his head.  “Neville and Hannah had something going on with his Gran, Hagrid is out in the Forest, and everybody else declined.”

 

Ron laughed.  “So much for being the Famous Harry Potter, eh?  Used to be we had to limit the people who came over, now everybody’s skipping out.”  Ron stood up, “I’m going to check on Hermione.”

 

We watched him head to the back door, leaving Harry and I alone while George and Arthur continued to work the grill.

 

“Um, Harry?”

 

“Yeah Hank?”

 

I took a big puff off of my pipe.  “Listen, I want to thank you for being my ‘anonymous sponsor’ last year, but now that I’m officially here for good, I don’t feel right taking any of your money.”  I held my hand up as he began to say something.  “Melody gave me some hints.  Really, I appreciate it very much, but now I need to make it on my own.  We’ll be ok, I used the money from selling my house in Virginia to finance Colony House, my book’s coming out soon and I have my teaching contract, so you don’t have to worry anymore.  I just wanted to say thank you, I hope you know how much easier it made life for me last year knowing that I didn’t have to worry about expenses.”

 

Harry nodded and gave me an easy smile.  “Quite all right, Hank.  I understand.  Just so you know, you never really touched any of the money I sat aside for you; everything came out of your Hogwarts salary.  The only thing the fund was used for were the tickets to America for your brother’s wedding.  Even Kingsley doesn’t have that much pull.”

 

 _I was relieved.  I wasn’t a charity case after all._   “Hey Harry, I already asked Ron but he brushed me off.  I know this may not be completely above board and all, but about Flurbin…”

 

“Sorry, Hank.  I can’t do anything officially.”  He took a sip of butterbeer then leaned over close, his voice soft “but when it comes to Hogwarts I’m very protective.  All I can say is that I’m not going to let anything happen to Hogwarts.  Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?”

 

The rest of the day went fine with the exception of both Hermione and Ginny’s appetites.  Hermione seemed to have none, but Ginny had thrown off her earlier condition and had turned into something that even surpassed Ron.  The conversation was normal; what was going on with George’s shop, Quidditch, semi-important things at the Ministry, and the topic that was coming around more and more these days, the wedding, specifically where we were going to have it and on what date.  I kept up with some of the talk at the table, but my thoughts kept returning to the changes at Hogwarts.  I had only signed a one-year contract with an automatic roll-over that would keep going to infinity unless either I or the Headmaster decided to end the agreement.  Flurbin seemed to think that Muggle Studies was about as important as Underwater Basket Weaving, so who knew how long I’d have a contract?  I’d just bought a house, I was getting married and what would happen if I couldn’t teach at Hogwarts anymore?  What would I do in the Wizarding world?  Maybe I’d be able to work at the Ministry in the office of Muggle Affairs or something, but it wouldn’t be teaching.  I looked over and saw Melody happily talking to Molly; how could I tell Melody all this?  If I couldn’t find another job would I have to go back to the Muggle world, or back to Virginia?  Would she even want to go with me?  _Fucking Flurbin._

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After saying our goodbyes we returned to Colony House in almost silence.  Melody put on the kettle and I retreated to my office, put on my headphones and turned up the music very loudly.  When I finally turned around I saw the teacup on my desk, and when I went to take a sip I realized it was cold.  I’d been in there a long time, longer than I’d thought.  I turned off the music, threw the headphones on my desk and carried my cold tea into the bedroom.  Melody was reading some Harpies documents, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, quill working feverishly.  I stood there for a minute, something was different.  She was wearing her glasses, that was normal.  Wait a sec…

 

“Oh.  Wow.”

 

Melody put her quill down.  “You needed something to get you out of your funk.  Do you like it?”

 

“Definitely.  Churchill has good taste.”  I watched her put her quill and parchment on the bedside table and walk over to me, the sheer black nightgown flowing away from her curves.

 

“Now Mister Grumpy, don’t worry about anything.  Not tonight.  Just promise me one thing.”

 

“Anything.  Keep wearing that and I’ll promise you anything.”

 

“Try to stop smoking the pipe, please.  You smell like an old man.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Crappy Saturday was history, as I woke up Sunday morning to the smells of coffee and burnt bacon.  After putting on my robe I walked into our small kitchen to find Melody dumping bacon into the bin, while a very large amount of scrambled eggs sat on my plate. I sat down at our little table and looked over to her, and she had on an apron, not unlike my Mom’s, over my undergraduate alma mater t-shirt.  Her hair was pulled back and she wasn’t wearing her glasses, but I don’t know if she could ever look as beautiful.  It was at that moment I realized I’d been completely selfish the day before, that I had tell her everything and we’d figure out what to do.

 

“My mom would be very proud of you.”

 

“It was only one lesson, and I still can’t get the bacon right.”  She took off the apron and hung it on the back of her chair, then sat down.  She took a bite of eggs.  “Not bad, not bad.  You have to do the bacon.”

 

I quickly fried some bacon and hash browns, and afterwards we sat at the table and started on the rest of our breakfast, the part after the scrambled eggs appetizer.

 

We hadn’t taken more than three bites when an owl appeared at the window.  Melody looked over at the owl and then nodded her head towards the window.  “Hank, would you get that?  Honestly, who’s owling at this time on a Sunday morning?”

 

I got up and let the owl in, taking the letter.  “It’s for you, Mel.  Hey, isn’t that the Weasley’s owl?”  I handed her the note.

 

“More specific please, lots of Weasleys.”  She looked down at the note, “Never mind, it’s from Hermione.”

 

I went to sit down but another owl showed up at the window.  “Good grief, what are we, the owlery?”  I watched the owl come in the still-open window, and after taking the note I sat down at the table.  “It’s for you, too.”  I handed her the letter.

 

“Another one?  I haven’t even opened up Hermione’s yet.”  She looked down.  “It’s from Ginny.”

 

Before anything else could happen another owl came in and deposited _The Prophet_ on the table.

 

I looked over at Melody.  “Merlin’s pants are we owl magnets?”  After opening the paper and just scanning the headlines I heard Melody do the girl scream, not unlike the one Hermione had given us in the Ministry of Magic when she found out that Melody and me were engaged.

 

“Hank, you’re not going to believe this.  Hermione _and_ Ginny are both pregnant!”

 

 _Wow, I wasn’t expecting that_.  “That’s pretty quick for Ginny and Harry.  At least this time she won’t have to tell everybody at a press conference.  Hermione has to be happy, but how’d Ron take the news?”

 

“Hermione’s note said that he just sat there and didn’t say anything until she dumped water over his head.  He’s very happy now, though.  I’m going to go change clothes and go see them.”  She got up quickly from the table, almost spilling her tea.

 

“Calm down, Mel.  Don’t you want to finish your breakfast?  And do you know what time it is?”

 

I heard the sounds of the dresser drawers opening and closing, and her voice came from the bedroom.  “It’s fine, I’ll get something later, don’t worry.  Eat the rest or give it to Churchill.”

 

I glanced down at the very fat black kneazle cat who sat very patiently at my feet.  “Looks like it’s your lucky day buddy.”

 

As it was now just us men, Churchill and I went out into the garden to read the paper.  He followed me out in hopes of more bacon, but I’d split the last piece between us earlier.  I sat at the garden table and lit my pipe.  Churchill looked at me with an expression that said “it would be in your best interests to keep the bacon coming.”

 

I reached down and rubbed his head “Hey, bud, she’s not here.  Keep it quiet and there may be more bacon in your future.”

 

After a few good puffs and a rotten attempt at smoke rings I took a look at the paper.  I skipped over the interview with Flurbin as I wanted to have a good Sunday.  It seemed like the usual articles until I found the piece on the WLF.  An unidentified man had been found in several pieces stuffed inside a box near the Ministry on Saturday morning.  Kingsley was quoted as saying they were following all possible leads and taking all precautions and that the responsible parties would be found and brought to justice.  So much for the good Sunday morning.

 

“Churchill, do you think that means I’m going to have Auror shadows again?  The black cat just sat in the sun, sleeping.  So much for conversation.

 

I was thinking about the WLF and all of the problems they had caused last year when I half-noticed a word on the Society page, so I turned back.  Holy crap, I knew Melody would go mental when she saw this.

 

**Bramble – Boyd Engagement**

**Mrs. Lane Bramble is proud to announce the engagement of her only daughter, Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble, to Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd.  Ms. Bramble is the daughter of Lane and the late Hieronymus Bramble, Forthingsgate, England.  Professor Boyd is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Boyd, Florida, America.**

**The bride is employed as the Press Secretary for the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team.  The groom is the instructor of Muggle Studies at Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.**

**The wedding will take place on Saturday, August 12 th at the bride’s childhood home in Forthingsgate at 2 in the afternoon.**

 

 

 _Holy shit._   Melody and I had talked about dates, and that her mother wanted us to get married at her house, but nothing had been settled.  Lane had made a pre-emptive strike and put it in _The_ _Prophet_ and now we were locked into the date, time and place.  I put out my pipe immediately.  No sense in provoking Melody, especially after she saw the announcement.  I looked at my watch; it was still early but not that early.  I had a feeling it would be a good idea to be out of the house when she got home, as she would obviously see the paper at Ginny or Hermione’s place.  She might not, due to the excitement, but I wasn’t going to bet on it.  Bet on it…yeah, I knew where I could go.  I went back into the house, threw on some clothes, grabbed my wand and headed to the fireplace.  One good pinch of Floo powder later and I was out of the house.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Diagon Alley on Sunday morning isn’t the busiest place in the world, so it didn’t take me long to make it to Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.  The sign on the door said “Closed – Go Away Please” but I knocked anyway.  A head that looked somewhat like George’s, but only made up to look like a clown, bounced off of the wall on a spring and bobbled in front of my face.

 

“We’re closed!  Go away!  Read the sign!  Without delay!”

 

I waved the clown head out of the way and watched it retreat to the door, so I knocked again, loudly.  “HEY GEORGE, IT’S ME, HANK!  COME ON, OPEN UP!”

 

This time another identical clown head from the other side of the door sprang in front of my face.

 

“Stop yelling!  Go around back, I’ll open the door.”

 

That sounded like George’s voice, and when the clown head returned to its spot I walked around the building until I found a very narrow alleyway, and after walking down its length I reached a door.  After several unlocking sounds the door opened, revealing George standing in an old Gryffindor Quidditch jersey.

 

“Merlin’s sake, Hank.  What are you doing banging on my door on Sunday morning?”

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Of course, of course.  Come on in, I’ll put the kettle on.”  We walked through the back rooms of the shop, boxes piled everywhere.  George looked over his shoulder “She kick you out?”

 

“Nah, she’s off visiting…friends this morning.  Thought I’d stop by.  Have you seen today’s _Prophet_?

 

He shook his head as we arrived at a very small kitchen at the back of the shop.  He waved his wand and the kettle began its business.  “Nope, inventory.  New shipment of Bouncing Bogey Blasts.  Think we’ve got it right this time.”

 

 _I knew I shouldn’t ask, but I couldn’t help it_.  “Bouncing Bogey Blasts?”

 

“One of your favorite student’s ideas.  Causes a sneeze that shoots a massive volume of bogeys in about a ten meter radius.  They bounce all over the place, stick to everything and then dissolve after a half-hour or so.  First batch stuck like glue, but we think we’ve got the mixture right this time.”

 

“One of Poesy’s?”

 

He nodded his head and levitated the kettle over, and soon we were drinking tea.  “Ok, Hank, I think I know you well enough to know when something’s up, and something must be up for you to show up at my shop on a Sunday morning asking me if I’ve seen _The_ _Prophet_.”

 

I pulled my copy of the paper out of my pocket, folded it over to the specific page and handed it to him.  I watched him read, and then he sat back and gave a low whistle.  “I don’t blame you, mate.  She’s going to be hacked when she reads this.  I take it you had no idea?”

 

“Nope.  First I’d heard of any of it.”

 

“George?”  Angelina’s voice came from the back of the shop, and she walked in wearing only her robes over her nightgown.  “OH!  I didn’t know you had company.”  She closed her robe around her throat and sat down.  “Hello, Hank, surprised to see you here.”

 

I nodded, but I couldn’t say anything as Angelina interrupted me.

 

“George, guess who’s pregnant?”

 

I’d only seen George Weasley unnerved a couple of times, but this was worse than any of them.  “Uh, we used…”

 

Angelina shook her head.  “Not me, idiot.  Guess.”

 

George exhaled deeply, “Um, Fleur?”

 

She couldn’t contain herself any longer.  “No, Ginny and Hermione!”

 

“At the same time?”  George looked over at me.  “You don’t look surprised, Hank.”

 

“That’s why Melody left so early.”  I looked over at Angelina.  “How’s everybody doing?”

 

Angelina levitated another teacup over and began adding a spot of milk.  “Pretty well, actually.  Ginny’s a little miffed, she wanted to wait a while before another baby, but Harry is as happy as a gnome.  Ron’s was in a bit of shock, but Molly’s over there now.  Hermione is just waiting until he comes down to reality so they can go visit her parents.  Right now he’s trying to convince Hermione to paint the baby’s room Chudley Cannon’s orange.””

 

George began to laugh.  Angelina and I just looked at him, and after he stopped he just looked at us.  “Can you imagine what Christmas is going to be like this year?  Two hormonal witches scaring their Auror husbands?  I can’t wait.”

 

Angelina just shook her head at her husband.  “Try and be good, George.  If it wasn’t for me Ginny would have bat-bogey hexed the living daylights out of you last time.”

 

“Speaking of hexes” George took the paper and handed it to Angelina “you might want to go see how Melody is doing.  After this she might go after her Mum.”

 

Angelina read the paper and her eyes went wide “Oh bloody hell.”  She stood up quickly “I’m heading back over to Hermione’s, that’s where everybody is right now.  I’ll see you later.”  With that she wandered through the boxes and left.

 

I sat with George and finished my tea, and then a thought came to me.  “Hey George, why didn’t she just apparate out of here?”

 

“Can’t do it in the shop.  Bad for business if someone picked up some merchandise and then apparated away before paying.”

 

“Smart, George.  That’s a good one.  You think of everything.”

 

“Actually one of Fred’s, but it is good.  As for thinking of everything, I was going to owl you soon, but since you’re here now…”  He got up from the table and motioned for me to follow him.

 

We wandered through the shelves until we came to a very small office.  Looking around I noticed papers stuck to the wall.

 

“Um, George, what’s on the wall?”

 

“Detention notices and letters home.  Students send them to me after they’ve been caught using one of my products.  I send ‘em some free stuff, but that’s not why we’re here.  Where did I put it…ah!”  He reached down and pulled out a box and sat it on the desk.  “Usually this stuff doesn’t see the light of day outside of the Invisibles, but you’re a special case.”

 

 _What?_   “Invisibles?”

 

“Yeah, they’re kind of like the lot you showed me on that Muggle screen of yours, the ones that wear black and hide in the shadows.  Swords and sharp stuff, those guys.”

 

It took me a minute, but I got it.  I’d shown George a ninja movie one time when he and Angelina had visited Colony House.  The night he named it, actually.  “Ninjas, is that what you mean?”

 

“Spot on, that’s it.  The Invisibles are a special part of the Aurors, very hush-hush kind of thing.  Started up after the war.  If you say anything about them, well, you won’t have a happy ending, so after this conversation you’ve never heard of them before, right?

 

I nodded my head.

 

“Good man.  I do some very off-the-record work for the Invisibles; help give them some toys to make life easier.  I was contacted very discreetly after your first run-in with the WLF to put together some things for you, but that was before we all found out you’re not a total Muggle.  Still, you’re pretty pants with the wand, so I’ve got the go-ahead to give you this stuff.  Planned on doing it later, of course, and I hadn’t figured out how to do it so it wasn’t obvious, but you’ve turned up here today.  Lucky me, or should I say, lucky you.”

 

He opened the box and began pulling things out.  After everything was on the desk, he started explaining.

 

“Since you can’t do anything except set stuff on fire or occasionally do something you can’t control, there’s no way you can disillusion yourself.  That’s where these little babies come in.”  He opened a box of clear little balls with a swirling blue liquid inside.  “Instant Disillusion Balls.  Crush one of these in your hand and you’ll be completely disillusioned, but it only lasts ten minutes.”

 

He pointed to a golden thing about a foot long “Standard sneakoscope.  Nothing really interesting, but useful.  Part of the standard Auror kit.”  Then he picked up a silver watch.  “Looks pretty standard, doesn’t it?  Normal wizarding watch.  I remembered how you tried to tell Ron that I’d helped you look at watches.  Got me thinking, so I came up with this.”  He handed me the watch, and besides the moving face that looked like the sky, it seemed pretty normal.  “Hermione came up with the idea years ago for the D.A., it’s a means of sending messages without speaking.  Tap the face of the watch three times and it’ll send a signal to its partner.  That’s where this comes in.”

 

He handed me a small charm in the shape of the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes triple-W logo.  “Have Melody put that on her charm bracelet.  Her bracelet’s enchanted anyway, so if she has a desperate need to contact you you’ll know right away, and vice-versa.  Plus, more advertising.”

 

George smiled at me, then reached over and unfolded a dark grey robe with quills and parchment designs woven into the pattern.  “This I’m very proud of, we’ve incorporated it into the standard Auror robes.  Spell-deflecting fabric, won’t stop the big stuff, but it should give you some level of protection against minor spells.”

 

“Holy crap, George.  You’re the Q of the Wizarding World!  I feel like James Bond.”

 

He looked at me strangely.  “Did you just pull a Muggle on me?”

 

“Yeah, I did, sorry George.  I’ll show you the movies sometime.”  Movies…that jarred a thought.  “Hey George, have you ever thought of trying to make Wizarding versions of Muggle stuff?  The kind of stuff I have at Colony House?”

 

“Hmmm…” he scratched his head “might work, have to do some research.  You willing to have some of your things donated to the cause?”

 

I thought about it for a second, “For a percentage, sure.”

 

He stuck out his hand.  “Glad to do business with you, Hank.  Just remember, if anybody asks where you got this stuff, it was just dropped on your doorstep.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:  Titles and Plans**

 

It was late afternoon and I was back in my home office, still trying to figure out what to do with the damn textbook.  I had to use it, as there was no way Flurbin would give me the same leeway that Neville had the year before, so I found myself looking at what was covered.  Very basic things, like how traffic signals tell cars and pedestrians when to move, stuff like that, but it was a section in the Cultural portion of the book that caught my eye:  Muggle wars.  World War 2 was still very recent history whAen the text had been written, so there was a large section on how the Wizarding world tried to stay out of World War 2, and the difficulties that had been overcome in keeping everything secret.  I flipped through some more pages, and finally had an idea.  I’d use World War 2 as the theme for my fifth year students; we could cover so many aspects of Muggle life on that topic.  Of course I’d use it as a springboard for how the ripples of World War 2 were felt in the Muggle world after that, but I’d finally found something in the damn text that I could work with.  I had my laptop out and was making notes when I heard Melody arrive.  This was going to be interesting.

 

I walked into the living room to find her sitting in my favorite chair, just sitting there.  “Long day, I take it.  How are you doing?”

 

“Better.”  Her voice was soft but weary with resignation.  “I’d have been home earlier but I had to sleep it off.”

 

“Sleep it off?  You hit the firewhiskey or something?”

 

She shook her head.  “No, after Arthur brought in _The Prophet_ I read the announcement.  I was so upset that Molly stunned me.  Kept me from going over to Mum’s and losing it.”

 

Thank Merlin I’d missed the explosion.  I could deal with the aftermath a lot easier, so I sat down on the couch and pulled her feet off of the ottoman and onto my lap, removed her shoes and began rubbing her feet.

 

“Oooh, you have no idea how good that feels.”  She leaned her head back and looked up at the ceiling, not noticing that Churchill had jumped into her lap.  “Hank, what are we going to do?”

 

“Well, what do you want to do?”

 

“I think we’re past that, now.  Ginny offered to go over to Mum’s with me tomorrow for tea and to talk about the arrangements.  I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”  She took off her glasses and sat them on the end table, causing Churchill to realize that she was now moving her hand and was therefore available to pet him.  “You and Hank have a good day, Churchill?  Did you get any bacon?”

 

“Yeah, he got plenty.”

 

“Oh Hank, two things.”

 

Two things.  I was getting used to that, as whenever Melody said “two things” it meant that I now had a task or something that I needed to do.  I’d realized in the short time we’d been together that whenever I heard “two things” it meant pay attention.  I stopped rubbing her feet and looked up.  “Do I need a notepad?”

 

“No, I said two things, not three.  I know your limits and keep rubbing.  Angelina said that you were over at George’s shop this morning, why were you over there?”

 

The real answer, that I was trying to avoid her explosion after seeing _The Prophet_ wasn’t going to work and I sure as hell wasn’t telling her about my Invisibles toys, so I went with what happened at the end of my visit.  “Just following up on your idea about George making Wizarding versions of Muggle stuff.  I’m not sure about the details, but I think I’m in business with George.”

 

“Oh Merlin, that’s going to be interesting.  Ok, second thing, Harry wants you to drop by the Ministry tomorrow, something about what was in the paper.  He said you’d know what he was talking about.”

 

“Sure, Mel.  No problem.”  Damn, the WLF was going to make my life hell again.  At least it wouldn’t be as bad as the poor soul who ended up in pieces.  I hoped.  I hoped my face wasn’t betraying my thoughts, so I concentrated on rubbing her feet.

 

“Mmmm, that’s good.  Hank, have you eaten yet?”

 

I looked over and she seemed better, not as worn out.  That was a good sign.  “No, I’ve been working on my classes.  Think I’ve got an idea that might work.”  I looked over at the clock, and it was later than I thought.  “I don’t feel like cooking tonight…”

 

“You know better than to ask me.  I cooked eggs today.  That’s my limit.”  Her smile was coming back, a definite good sign.

 

“Let’s go out, we could go down to the village.”

 

“And eat deep-fried everything at the Pub?  I don’t think so.”  She looked over at me and we almost said it at the same time.

 

“Chinese restaurant.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The next morning Melody was a blur of activity as she’d overslept, so we didn’t really have time to talk about her tea appointment later in the day.  She’d even taken the Floo to her office and then popped back as she’d forgotten her glasses.  Her absence was for the best, I thought, as I took my time getting ready for my visit with Harry.  I didn’t want to trouble her with what I knew what Harry and I would discuss, and she would need a clear head during tea.  I thought about getting the pipe out again, but remembered Churchill’s present so I went back to my desk and re-read Sunday’s _Prophet_.  There were no concrete details on the dismembered man, and it made me feel like I was in a B-grade horror movie plot.  None of those movies ever had Aurors, though, so I felt a little better.  Nothing would happen to me in the Ministry, I hoped.

 

After arriving via the visitor’s entrance I took my badge and pinned it on without thinking of looking at it too closely.  It was only after I’d taken a step away from the guard before I heard “Excuse me, sir.”

 

The guard was looking at me and motioning for me to come over to him.  Um, ok?

 

“You need to wait for Madam Undersecretary Weasley or someone from her staff before you leave the area, sir.”

 

“Hermione?”  I looked over at him, confused.  I took my badge off of my robe and looked at it, and sure enough it said _Hank Boyd, visitor of H. Weasley, MLE_.  Huh.

 

I didn’t have much time to wonder, though, as I saw Hermione weaving through the throngs of people in the Ministry.  “Sorry to surprise you like that, Hank.  Harry was called away at the last minute.  We can wait in my office.”

 

She wasn’t her usual bright self, though.  I knew something was up, and I had a bad feeling I knew what it was.  After the preliminaries of tea and pleasantries about the wedding, Hermione looked at her watch.

 

“His meeting should have been done by now.”  She looked over at her desk, and I noticed _The Prophet._

 

“It’s about the man they found stuffed in the garbage, right?”

 

“Yes, but I can’t really tell you much more than that.”  Hermione looked down at her teacup and began absentmindedly twirling her wedding rings.

 

“Congratulations, by the way.”  I looked over and her expression immediately changed.  “Very exciting.”

 

“Yes, it is thank you.  Ron’s doing better now, and after talking to my father he’s much more excited.  Right now the main problem is that he wants to paint the baby’s room in Chudley Cannon’s colors.”

 

A quick knock and the open door showed Harry, and his face was grim.  “Thanks for bringing Hank up here, Hermione.”  He sat down quickly in an empty chair.  “I don’t have much time; I’m going into the field soon.  I haven’t owled Ginny yet, but Ron’s going to be out as well, Hermione.”

 

I saw Hermione slowly nod.  Being married to an Auror must not be easy.

 

Harry looked over at me.  “Hank, I know you saw what was in the paper.  This is highly sensitive, so I don’t think I need to tell you that you can’t discuss this with anyone except Melody.  The man they found was Bud Mortonsby; he was an Auror who was infiltrating the WLF and somehow his cover must have been blown.  We don’t have any concrete proof that it was the WLF yet, but we’ve got some leads.  The reason I wanted you to stop by is that, I’m sorry to say, you’re a target again.  Since the announcement about the wedding was in the paper we’ve intercepted a message mentioning your name.”

 

Harry must have noticed my face, because he held up a hand before he continued.  “We’re not going to confine you to Hogwarts like last time.  They’ve decided that it would be best if you just kept your normal schedules and went about your business as if you’ve never heard this, but Ron and I insisted that you be informed.  Now, about your wedding.”

 

“What does my wedding have to do with this?”  I looked to Hermione, and she simply shrugged.

 

Harry almost seemed to wince before he said “I know you and Melody were going to have a small wedding, but the Auror department doesn’t think that’s a good idea.  I know it seems counter-intuitive to say that larger would be better, but in this case it is.  The more people that attend the wedding the better, as we’ll be able to mix more Aurors into the guests.  At a small wedding it would be possible that the WLF could pick out the Aurors easier, so I’m sorry to say that your wedding is now a Ministry controlled event, to some extent.”

 

 _Wonderful_.  I was sure the fact that the Ministry was now involved in our wedding would thrill Melody to no end.  It wasn’t enough that her mother was trying to run her wedding, now the government was as well.

 

“Hank?”  Hermione had a somewhat devious half-smile upon her face.  “Since the Ministry is dictating the size, don’t you think they should help pay for the wedding as well?”

 

 _Why the hell not?_   I looked over at Harry, “What do you think?”

 

“Makes sense to me, I’ll send a note before I leave.”  He rose out of his chair, “I do have to go soon, so I’d better leave you.  Hank, you’ll have some shadows for a bit, but not as much as last time.  Don’t worry; we’re taking care of things.”

 

“Harry?  Congratulations to you and Ginny.”

 

“Thanks, Hank.”  Harry smiled at me.  “I don’t think Ginny’s as happy as I am right now, but that’ll change.  I need to go now, we’ll catch up later.”

 

With that, Harry left the office, leaving Hermione and I in silence for a few minutes.  Finally, I got up and looked out her office window.  “Will it ever end, Hermione?”

 

“I hope so.  I really hope so.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I arrived back in Stintborough a little before lunch and decided that I didn’t feel much like cooking, so I made my way down to the local pub.  After being somewhat interesting the first few times I’d been in the pub, the regulars had now decided that I was fairly harmless.  My Muggle story was that I was a writer who had come over to Scotland to do some genealogy work and some writing, and after initial wariness they had somewhat warmed to me.  Buying an occasional round didn’t hurt, either.  I sat down at a booth and after ordering lunch I took out my notebook to try and work on my lesson plans, but inspiration was far away; instead I was thinking about my meeting with Harry and Hermione.  Yes, I knew that the WLF wasn’t completely wiped out, but I’d hoped that the arrests made at my brother’s wedding had severely dampened any enthusiasm the WLF had for attacking Muggles.  Wishful thinking, obviously.  What was so wrong with Muggles?

 

I looked around the pub, and I couldn’t see anything offensive about any of the people.  Sure, Hamish, the owner, was a little rough around the edges but he seemed like a decent sort.  He’d spotted me lunch one day when I’d forgotten my Muggle money; all I had were a few galleons, and that wouldn’t have worked at all.  I left him my laptop as a promise to return, and after I’d shown up about an hour later he’d decided that, even if I was an American, I wasn’t too horrible.  Just because these people couldn’t do magic it didn’t mean they deserved to die.

 

After arriving home and making sure that Churchill had a full bowl of food I went into my office and was immediately reminded by my calendar that I had an appointment with my agent at four that afternoon.  Usually I was irritated at my calendar, as it always seemed perturbed, but on this occasion I was actually grateful.  The first printing of _A Wizard of Sorts_ would be out now, and we’d be looking at the first copies in my agent’s office before it hit the shops.  I’d found Ian through George, as George used him for some things in his business, mostly advertising, but George said he was pretty good so I went with Ian.  I blew the next few hours listening to music, trying to ignore the gnawing fears at the back of my brain, but regardless of what I put on the stereo it didn’t matter.  After giving up I walked to the fireplace, threw down the Floo powder and said “Ian Coswock’s Office.”

 

I sat in the chair across from Ian’s desk as we waited for his assistant to bring over the first printing of my book.  I looked over at Ian, still somewhat surprised that he managed to get anything done.  If had thought Harry’s office at the Ministry was messy, well, it was neat as a pin compared to Ian’s office.  The place was completely full of parchment, books, teacups, an overflowing rubbish bin, a second overflowing rubbish bin, a few dead houseplants and a stuffed owl that looked somewhat dilapidated.  When I asked about the owl at our first meeting, he’d said it was their family owl when he was a kid, and after the owl passed he couldn’t bear to see Womples buried, so he’d had the owl stuffed and mounted.  I thought it was somewhat like having a family pet preserved, but to each their own.  I told Melody after that first meeting that I thought Ian looked like Ichabod Crane, and after explaining Sleepy Hollow and describing Ian, I don’t think I was too far off.  Ian’s height was matched only by his extremely thin frame, and his nose seemed to dominate his face.  He pulled his long, black hair into a ponytail and wore very small glasses, and his clothes always seemed to be in a perpetual state of trying to leave his body.  Besides his physical appearance there was his voice; it seemed to leak out in a very timid, high-pitched whisper, but always in a rush as if he was continually excited.

 

“Florence will be here soon, Professor, and then we’ll see it!  I’m sure it will be a best-seller, with your upcoming wedding in the paper.  People will want to know about the romance!  You’ll be at the top of the list!

 

 _Shit.  Did he actually read it?  I didn’t mention Melody that often, at her request._   “I’m sure it will, Ian.”

 

Before another word could be said a young witch bustled into the office without knocking, sending a stack of books into a heap.  Neither the witch nor Ian seemed to bat an eye at the mess, as she brought over a box and sat it down on the desk without a word.

 

“Thank you, Florence, you’ve been a great help!  Now, Professor, the moment we’ve all been waiting for!”  He reached into the box, pulled out two books, and handed one to me.

 

Ian had handed me the book with the back facing upwards, and I looked at my picture on the dust-jacket.  There I was, in my Hogwarts robes, sitting on the edge of my desk in my Muggle Studies classroom.  I watched the photo of myself remove my glasses, nod, and then put the glasses back on.  Not too bad of a photo.  Then I turned the book over and saw the title.  _My Wand is Useless._ There it was, in bright blue glowing letters.  _Fucking hell._

 

“Ian, they used the wrong title!”

 

“Nope, that’s the one we agreed on, much catchier than the others.”  He nodded his large head and his pony tail bobbed back and forth.  “Nice work on the title, that blue will certainly catch some eyes!”

 

“That’s the title I didn’t want used, Ian.  Don’t you remember?”  _Great.  Now my first day of classes with Poesy Phillips would be even more interesting._

 

“What?  Really?  So sorry, I thought that was the one you wanted to use.  Well, can’t change it now, all printed up and in the shops tomorrow!”

 

I opened the book and began flipping through the pages until I found a series of photos.  There were all the pictures that had been in _The Prophet_ along with some other pictures of Hogwarts.  There I was in the Great Hall with Neville, at a Quidditch Match with Melody, and somehow there I was front of my class, the fourth years, lecturing.

 

“Ian, you didn’t tell me there would be photos in the book.  And how did you get these pictures, especially the one of me in front of my students?

 

“Well, I ran into George Weasley one day and I mentioned that some pictures would really pep up your book and he said that he had a couple that might work, so he lent them to me.  The others were from _The Prophet_ , just a matter of working out the details with them, rather easy work if I must say.  They’re quite an agreeable lot if they get a bit of advertising, plus they’re going to have a review of your book this Sunday.  Very exciting!

 

Sunday, the first weekend after Hogwarts term had started   _Great_.  At that point I hoped Angelina Weasley wouldn’t mind being a widow, said goodbye to my horrible agent and left the office with a box of books under my arm.  _Crap_.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

It was early evening before Melody arrived at the house, and when she came in she looked surprisingly happy.  I was in a foul mood, though, which didn’t escape notice.

 

“What’s wrong with you, Hank?  Did Churchill get sick in your chair again?”  She sat on the sofa next to me and looked at me intently.  “You aren’t still stewing about your classes again, are you?”

 

I shook my head.  “Nope.”  I reached down to the box next to the sofa and handed her my book.

 

“Your picture is very nice.  Very literary.”

 

“Turn it over.”

 

I watched her turn the book over and her face fell.  “Oh bloody hell, Hank.  They used the wrong title!”

 

“No, not really, Mel.  They did it on purpose.  I have the worst literary agent in the world.  Enough about that, though.  You looked happy when you walked in.  I take it tea with went well?”

 

The smile returned to Melody’s face as she took off her glasses.  “Yes, quite well.  I’m glad Ginny was with me, as we have finally convinced Mum that it should be a very small wedding, not a grand production.”

 

“Yeah, um, about that.”

 

“Hank?”  She looked at me as if I was about to unravel her day’s work, which I was.

 

“You know I had a meeting with Harry today, right?  Well, let’s just say that your Mom is going to get her wish.”  I explained everything that happened in the meeting with Harry and Hermione, and watched Melody’s face go through a range of emotions, from fear to anger to irritation, finally ending with a determined look that frankly scared me.

 

“Oh, so now the Ministry is in charge of my wedding?  _My_ wedding?  Really.”

 

“Don’t you mean _our_ wedding?”

 

“Yes, yes, our wedding.  Well, if they want a big production, by Merlin they’re going to get it.  One condition, though.”

 

Uh-oh.  Now I was worried.  “Yes, love?”

 

“Don’t ‘yes, love’ me, Henry.  You’re not wearing a kilt at the ceremony.  The last time you wore your kilt at any type of wedding function it didn’t go so well, if you remember.  We’re doing a proper Wizarding ceremony.  Sort of.  Now go start supper, we’re having Hermione and Ginny over as their husbands are playing Auror.  I’m glad they’re coming over as we really have some planning to do now.”

 

I saw a scary gleam in her eyes and made my way to the kitchen.  While looking through the cupboards for ingredients I decided that my book being published with the wrong title was the least of my worries.

 


	4. Muggle Club and a Cowboy Hat (Of Sorts)

**Chapter 4: Muggle Club and a Cowboy Hat (Of Sorts)**

 

I sat between Neville and Cho and somewhat listened to Flurbin drone on and on to the students; judging by the fidgeting and body language it seemed the students were quite ready to begin the start of the year feast.  The sorting had gone as usual, with Neville, as Deputy Headmaster, in charge of the Sorting Hat, but I didn’t really pay attention, as I’d have to wait several years to see any of the new students in my classroom.  Well, I did pay attention to when the Sorting Hat said “Hufflepuff” and watched my new charges go to the Hufflepuff table, but that was about it.  As I was irritated I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pipe, filled it with tobacco and lit it.

 

“Hank, is that really a good idea?”  Cho looked at me somewhat worriedly.  “I don’t know what the Headmaster will say.”

 

“To be honest, I really don’t care.”

 

I took a large puff and after a few minutes I saw Flurbin look in my direction, then return to his droning.  After finally finishing his long winded speech about the Three D’s we finally started the feast, and I ate quickly, ready to return to my room.  As I had finished before most of the professors I felt that I couldn’t leave without causing a disturbance of sorts, so my thoughts returned to Melody and the wedding.  Mel had been quite insistent about staying at Colony House, even though her house was closer to her work.  She’d been quite convincing that it was the same distance by Floo, and I couldn’t argue with that.  We’d talked about selling her place, but I reminded her that it would be good to have two houses because all of the uncertainty with the WLF, and she’d finally agreed.  The wedding plans were, quite frankly, out of control.  I’d been a part of the process for a while, but eventually I told Melody that whatever she, Ginny and Hermione had decided would be fine with me as long as I could have my family and a very small group of friends attend the ceremony.

 

“Hank, it’s over now.  You need to go see to your students.”  Neville was standing next to me, his hand on my shoulder.  “We’ll get through this, trust me.”

 

As I was making my way from the instructor’s table I heard someone call my name.  There, waiting for me, was Poesy Phillips.

 

“Miss Phillips, I hope you know I’m not giving you any royalties.”

 

She shook her head.  “That’s fine, Professor.  I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for last year.  Especially the useless wand bit.”

 

“Really?  Well, thank you.  And what brought this on, if I may ask?”

 

She brushed her hand over her hair, looking somewhat embarrassed.  “George told me how you helped me get the internship at Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.  He really thinks I’ve got a future there.  I realized after reading some of your book how hard it must have been for you, and I’m sorry.”

 

I looked over at her, noticing that she’d grown over the summer, obviously in more ways than one.  “Thank you, Poesy.  You certainly did give me an education, and hopefully you’ll learn a little more in my class this year.”

 

Poesy ducked her head and looked at her shoes, then back up at me.  “I’m not taking Muggle Studies this year.  Mum said that after reading what Professor Flurbin said in _The Prophet_ that she wanted me to work on the core subjects.  I’m sorry; I really wanted to take your class.”

 

 _Damn.  I guessed I should have read that interview with Flurbin_.  I nodded at Poesy.  “I understand; don’t worry, Poesy.  I have a feeling you won’t be the only one.”  I watched a small twinkle appear in her eyes, and I knew something was up.  “Is there something else?”

 

“Well, I was working in the shop with George one day and he mentioned that his sister was in something called the Slug Club one year.  Do you think we could have a Muggle Club?”

_A Muggle Club?  Definitely a way around Flurbin and not a bad idea at all._   “Let me talk to Professor Longbottom about that, but it’s a good idea.  Stop by my office sometime next week and I’ll let you know.”  I saw a now-sixth year boy standing a few feet away, obviously waiting for her to finish our discussion.  “I think your escort is ready for you to leave.”

 

Her eyes got big and I watched her become somewhat embarrassed.  “Um, ok, bye Professor Muggle.”

 

With that she turned and went to the boy.  Hand in hand they left the Great Hall, leaving me with thoughts of how to put together a Muggle Club.  Flurbin was the Headmaster, but he’d never dealt with the likes of Poesy Phillips.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After a quick conversation with Nonky and Neeker, I made my way to the Hufflepuff common room.  The Prefects had gathered as many students as possible into the common room for my beginning-of-term talk, and the room was very crowded.  Before I could say anything, I was surprised by a round of applause.  Still in a state of shock I motioned with my hands for everyone to quiet down, and a tall girl with brown hair stepped forward.  Even though I hadn’t had her in my classes I knew Natascha Vestram; after all, she was Head Girl.

 

“We just wanted to congratulate you, Professor, on your book and your engagement.”

 

“Plus he’s marrying a Hufflepuff!”  I recognized that voice, and Lavinia Ryder smiled at me from a chair to my right.  “I’m so happy for you and Melody!”

 

“Thank you Lavinia, Natascha, and everyone.  I appreciate it very much.”

 

“Just so you know, Professor, we don’t agree with the Headmaster.  We think everyone should be able to take Muggle Studies.”  Lavinia looked around the room, and almost every head nodded in agreement.

 

“Thank you, I’m very pleased about that, but you might not want to make that very well known in front of the Headmaster.”  I saw some smiles drop, but I had to continue.  “I know this isn’t what a lot of you want, and it certainly isn’t what I want, but we have to make the most of it.  I know that some may not think I’m an appropriate Head of House, as my magical abilities are, well they’re crap, and that’s being charitable.  But I want you to know I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that Hufflepuff is given an even chance, and that my being Head of House will not reflect poorly on you.  Those of you who I know are very good students, I’m looking forward to meeting those who haven’t been in my classes, and I think that despite all of the changes we will have a very good year.  Now, if I could have a word with the Prefects for a moment?  As for everyone else, I think you should retire to your rooms, it won’t do to be sleepy on the first day of classes.”

 

I watched them all start moving towards their rooms, waved at Lavinia, then sat down at a small table with my Prefects.  Natascha quickly informed me that only her parents and her grandmother called her by her full name, and I assured her that I would call her Tosh like everyone else.  I looked at the leadership of Hufflepuff house; Ruby Smythe-Warring, one of my Muggle Studies students, and her fellow fifth year Prefect Danny Winfield, a short boy with a mess of brown hair.  My sixth year Prefects, Angus Wandsworth, Quidditch captain, and Angela Flimpett, a very pretty girl with short black hair.  Finally Tiberius Jones, a short, wiry teenager with blazing red hair, the seventh year Prefect along with Tosh.  A good group of students, from all of the reports that I had received, as well as the conversations that I’d had with Neville.

 

“I am looking forward to a good year, and I know that y’all will do your best to make it happen.  I want you to know that my door is always open to you, or to any Hufflepuff student.  As I said earlier, I think we might be in for a bit of a rough year, as I’m sure the Headmaster wishes someone besides me was Head of House.  I think the only way we’ll be able to prove to him that isn’t the case is for Hufflepuff to be one of the best houses in Hogwarts.  I’m sorry to put that on your shoulders, and I’ll do what I can to make things easier, but I feel that you should be aware of that.”

 

“Oh, we know, Professor.”  Angus Wandsworth looked at me with a determined face.  He was tall, almost as tall as me, and his close cropped blonde hair gave him the look of a military man.  “That’s why we’ve been having unofficial Quidditch practices over the summer.  Even though you can’t fly, we know you’re a big Quidditch supporter, with your fiancée working with the Harpies and all.  We’re going to show them that Professor Muggle’s Quidditch team can’t be taken lightly.”

 

 _A big Quidditch supporter?  Oh boy._   “Thank you, Angus.  I’m sure that we’ll do quite well this year.  Just make sure that everyone” I looked at each of them “takes care of the younger students.  I’m sure there will be some teasing about me, but I don’t want any retaliation.  We may or may not win the House Cup, but above all I want Hufflepuff to do things the right way.  Understood?”

 

All of the heads nodded in agreement.  Good, now that the uncomfortable stuff was out of the way, it was time to lay the groundwork for my little surprise.  “Angus, when you have your first Quidditch practice scheduled, please let me know.  I’d like to attend, and if you don’t mind I thought I would have a friend stop by and watch as well.  Ok?”

 

Angus nodded, and I stood up.  “Ok, thank you for listening.  And remember, my door is always open.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Sitting in Neville’s room later that night I watched him prune a bright red plant as we discussed the evening’s events.  After small talk about some returning students and his plants, I couldn’t wait any longer.

 

“So Neville, Poesy Phillips brought up something interesting after the feast.  She mentioned something about a Slug Club.  Do you know what that is?”

 

Neville put down his small pruning scissors and scratched his head.  “Sort of.  Professor Slughorn was the Potions Professor at Hogwarts my last two years, and he had this group of the, well, the famous and elite of the school.  They’d come to his place for dinner and talk, mostly so he could find out about their famous relatives and such.  Harry, Hermione and Ginny were invited, but not me.  The closest I got to the Slug Club was serving appetizers at a Christmas party once.”

 

“He made you be a waiter?”

 

“Kind of.  It wasn’t bad.  So why did Poesy ask you about the Slug Club?”

 

I ran my hand across my goatee for a bit.  “Well, Poesy’s parents aren’t letting her take Muggle Studies, and she got the idea for a Muggle Club after talking to George.  Do you think Flurbin would let it happen, a Muggle Club?”

 

From the smile on Neville’s face I could guess, but I needed to hear it from him to be sure.  “All areas of study are encouraged to have a club for interested students, it’s a Hogwarts tradition.  Usually most professors don’t do it, but there’s absolutely no reason you can’t have a Muggle Club.  If Flurbin won’t allow it for you, he’d have to do the same for all of the other classes.”

 

“That’s the answer I was looking for, Neville.  I’ll have to start on that soon.  I do have one other question, though.”

 

“How come I have a feeling this will be somewhat against the rules?  You’ve been around George too much.”

 

“Well, maybe.  If I happen to go to Quidditch practice one day, and a friend of mine, a former Hogwarts graduate, just happens to show up to practice, is there anything in the school rules about that friend helping the students practice?  Maybe give them some tips?”

 

Neville’s laugh filled the room.  “I don’t think so, and to be honest I don’t want to know anymore about it.  Are you trying to get sacked, Hank?”

 

“No, I’m not.  I’m just trying to help my house and to do what I can.  Within the rules, of course.”

 

“Now I know you’ve been around George too long.”

 

After leaving Neville’s room I was making my way back to my room, and I must have been deep in thought as I didn’t hear her the first time, but eventually I recognized the voice calling my name.

 

“Professor Farnsworth?”

 

“Petal, Hank.  Please.”  She smiled at me kindly as she moved from out of the deep shadows that laced the hallway.

 

“Sorry, Petal.  What can I do for you?”

 

She shrugged.  “Just saw you leaving Neville’s and thought I would say hello.”

 

“Oh, well, hello.  Sorry, but I doubt I’m good for much conversation tonight.”

 

She put her hands inside the sleeves of her robe, reminding me of the kung-fu masters from every martial arts movie I’d ever seen.  “I take it Headmaster Flurbin is the reason for your lack of conversation.  Well, I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.  That’s really all I can say.  Don’t worry.”

 

With that, she nodded to me and walked away through the semi-lit halls, leaving me wondering exactly why she was out in the halls at that time of night, let alone in the shadows.  I chalked it up to the peculiarities of being the DADA professor and didn’t think about it anymore, as Peeves became my “companion” on my way back to my room.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Eventually after dismissing Peeves and finding a cup of tea I sat at my desk, with only a small lamp illuminating the room and wrote a letter to Melody.

 

_My lovely Melody,_

_The first night at Hogwarts has gone about as well as could be expected.  I received a surprising apology from Poesy Phillips concerning her behavior last year, so obviously the internship with George worked out well.  Lavinia made me promise to say hello to you in my letters and tell you she’s quite unhappy with the fact that she can’t be in my class this year.  Flurbin is going to be somewhat of a pain, but I promise that I won’t do anything intentionally to get on his bad side._

_I’ve asked and I think my plan to have “our mutual friend” visit during Quidditch practice will be fine.  I’ll let you know the date and time of the first practice so arrangements can be made._

_Now that I’ve covered all of the Hogwarts news, I can get to the important stuff.  I didn’t realize how much I would miss you until now, and looking at my empty bed I realize how hard it’s going to be.  We knew this before the year started, but that doesn’t make it any easier.  At least I know you’re in Stintborough, though it might as well be on the other side of the world.  Hopefully we can make arrangements to see each other soon._

_As for the wedding plans, I trust your judgment; just remember to go easy on whatever Ministry official you end up working with.  I’m enclosing the list of my family and friends that I would like to invite, and as Hermione suggested, the number of Muggles is very small.  Well, the number that aren’t family, that is._

_I really miss you._

_Love,_

_Hank_

-ooo-

 

 

A week later I stood next to the stands on the Quidditch pitch, watching my Hufflepuff team take slow warm-up laps.  Angus Wandsworth had put together what he considered “the best side in years,” but we’d have to see if it was just his enthusiasm and optimism speaking or if the team actually could contend for the House Cup.  I’d never really been too excited about Quidditch, but this year I was definitely taking an interest; after all, I was Head of House, and if we could take the Cup…well that would probably make Flurbin less than pleased.

 

Shielding my glasses from the light rain that had started I noticed two figures that would probably help irritate the Headmaster.  As they walked towards me I couldn’t help but smile; George would be proud of me, as this was something that he might have come up with.

 

“Hi sweetie!”  Melody stood on her tiptoes and gave me a kiss, then looked over her shoulder and grinned mischievously.

 

I stepped away from Melody and put out my hand to the witch next to her, “Good to see you again.  Thanks for coming.”

 

Gwennog Jones shook my hand and smiled underneath the hood of a sweatshirt that was covered with an old Harpies practice robe.  “You too, Hank.  Congratulations on finally getting Miss Press Secretary to come to her senses.”

 

“Hey!”  Melody looked over to Gwennog.  “What’s that about?”

 

“You moped around the office like you failed all your NEWTS when you two broke up.”

 

Gwennog winked at me, and I laughed but stopped immediately when I saw the look on Melody’s face.  “Ok, ladies, let’s go take our spots and see how long it takes them to notice.

 

We stood near the Quidditch goals while Angus had his charges executing drills at the other end of the pitch, and after about ten minutes or so they zoomed towards our end.  By this time the rain had stopped, so Gwennog had lowered her hood.  The drills were going ok until I saw a bludger come towards us, and only the quick eye and Beater’s bat of Angus kept it away from us.

 

“Sorry about that Professor Muggle didn’t mean to…”

 

He sat there on his broom, hovering a few feet away with his mouth wide open, literally speechless.  Before I could say a word the rest of the team had joined him, and a large boy hit him on the shoulder.

 

“C’mon, Angus, let’s get back to it.”

 

Angus came down the ground, stepped off of his broom and looked over to us, then his teammate.  “Do you know who’s watching our practice?”

 

I heard a squeal of delight, and looking up saw a very small girl with her dark hair in pigtails cover her mouth with her hands, then dive down and land alarmingly close to us.  In what seemed like a nanosecond she was over to us, literally bouncing up and down in front of Gwennog.

 

“Merlin Merlin Merlin Merlin I can’t believe its you!  You’re here!  I’m so excited to meet you, I’m Flora Falkirk, I’m the Seeker, oh wow oh wow oh wow!”

 

I waved at the rest of the students and they all landed in front of us.  “Team, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.  Gwennog Jones, this is the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.  I’d do the introductions, but I’m still learning names myself.  This young man” I gestured towards Angus “is our captain, Angus Wandsworth.”

 

After meeting everyone, including the very excited Seeker for a second time, Gwennog joined the team in the air.  She kept Angus close to her as she began running the team through some drills, explaining things to him and pointing towards different players every now and then.

 

“I think you’ve gone up a couple of notches in their book, Professor.”  Melody looked over at me and smiled, and I laughed.

 

“Probably, but I couldn’t have done it without your help.  Are you sure that Gwennog is ok with doing this?”

 

“Definitely.  Ever since she’s retired from playing she’s out with the Harpies at every practice, making sure they know she’s a coach now, but I don’t think it’s enough for her.  I don’t think she’ll ever stop flying.”  Melody craned her neck a bit and looked towards the castle.  “When does the next team have the pitch for practice?”

 

I looked at my watch.  “Hmm…in about five minutes.  This could get interesting.”

 

The rain started up again, slowly at first but becoming stronger by the minute.  Melody and I were under an umbrella when a green-haired boy in Slytherin robes walked over to us.

 

“Hufflepuff’s time is over.  This is Slytherin’s pitch now.  _Professor_.”

 

I looked at him, obviously in year six or seven, a tall and thick boy.  “Yes, I think it is time to knock off.  I gotta say that’s an interesting hair color you’ve got there.  Matches your robes perfectly.”

 

“Yeah, real surprise there.”  He looked away from me with a thinly veiled sneer of disgust and turned towards the pitch.  “Hey, who’s that up there with Wimpworth?”

 

I laughed sarcastically.  “Wimpworth?  You do realize I can take away points?  That happens to be a friend of ours who stopped by to watch practice and decided to help out a bit.”  I looked over to Melody.  “Can you signal them that practice is over?”

 

Melody nodded, and then instead of pulling out her wand and doing some charm or spell or something she stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled louder than I’d ever heard anyone whistle.

 

I shook my head and looked over at her.  “Wow, very magical.”

 

The team landed next to us, along with Gwennog, causing the green-haired Slytherin boy and his teammates, who had arrived moments earlier, to stare at Gwennog in various states of disbelief.

 

Gwennog walked over to us, took her hand and wiped the rain off of her face with a nonchalant wave.  “They’ve got promise, Hank.  I think Angus will have them sorted out in no time, and…OI!  Nice hair!”  She was looking at the Slytherin boy.  “You lose a bet?”

 

“I think he did it on purpose.  Matches the robes, you know.”  I grinned at Angus and Gwennog, and then quickly returned my face to a bland, bored Professorial look.  “Now, back up to your rooms and make sure you don’t get water all over the Common Room.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Surprisingly Flurbin didn’t call me into his office the next day to discuss my Quidditch practice “friends.”  He didn’t call me into the office that weekend or Monday of the next week, either, leading me to believe that he was simply going to ignore me for as long as possible, which in other circumstances would have been fine.  The current situation, though, meant that I needed to speak with him about the Muggle Club, a meeting that I was dreading.  I was sure that he would find some way to discourage my club or make it illegal on some grounds.  I’d been asked about it multiple times by Lavinia Ryder and Poesy Phillips had casually mentioned it after breakfast one day, so I knew that I’d have to suck it up and go see the Headmaster soon.

 

Classes, while smaller in regards to students and length of class time, were actually going well.  While sitting in my classroom one afternoon I realized that, by Merlin, that if the students who made up my class actually wanted to be here I would definitely make it worth their time.  I’d make it the best damn Muggle Studies class that Hogwarts had ever seen.  My somewhat manic enthusiasm, however, made my students a bit nervous.  After all, when your instructor goes on and on excitedly about a topic it is a bit disconcerting.  The good thing about smaller class sizes was that there were fewer papers to grade.  Even if I had to grade parchment from each one of my students it would only be eighteen assignments.  Ten students in fifth year, six students in sixth year and only two students in seventh year was an all-time low for Muggle Studies, a fact that I was sure would not be lost on Flurbin.

 

I was lost in imagining how I was going to broach the topic of Muggle Club to Flurbin when my fifth year students began filing in the classroom, surprisingly in a good mood despite the fact that their first assignment was due that day.  Out of habit I opened my special notebook provided by George Weasley the year before, the one that would tell me if any magic happened in my classroom that was performed by my students, but so far the pages remained blank.  I picked up my teacup and saucer and walked to the front of my desk and leaned against it, looking at their smirking faces.  Something had happened.

 

I cleared my throat, and everyone’s attention focused on me.  “Well, it seems that something has everyone in a good mood.  Does anyone care to share what’s going on?”

 

“Ask Peter.”  Ruby Smythe-Warring, one of my Hufflepuff Prefects, smiled and looked over to the curly haired Slytherin boy sitting a table away.

 

“Ok, I’ll bite.  Mr. Sawgrass?”

 

I watched him give a smirk to his classmates, and then he turned to me.  “I know we’ve been trying to figure out how to have the Headmaster approve the Muggle Club, so I thought I’d have a talk with Professor Farnsworth.  She agreed we could have a DADA Club, and when we talked with the Headmaster he was very happy, said something about how we were showing proper dedication.  I waited until he stopped talking about the three D’s and then asked if we could have a Muggle Club.  Since he’d gone on about dedication to classes, he couldn’t really say anything to keep us from it.  So we’ve got the go ahead for Muggle Club, Professor.”

 

I laughed and looked over at all my students, who were all smiling very broadly.  Leave it the Slytherin in the class to devise a way to hoist Flurbin on his own petard.  “Well done, Sawgrass.  Five points to Slytherin.”

 

After that the lesson for the day was entirely pointless, so we spent the rest of the time discussing the specifics for Muggle Club, deciding when we would meet and where.  While my students were engrossed in discussing the best time to meet I sat at my desk and chuckled softly to myself.  Flurbin may have worked at the Ministry, but he’d never dealt with determined students like mine, especially a Slytherin with a goal.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Saturday morning found me staring in the mirror, trying to determine if my goatee was getting whiter.  In a few hours I would be inside Flourish and Blotts, signing copies of _My Wand is Useless_ , an event setup by Ian Coswock without consulting me or my schedule.  Luckily Petal Farnsworth had agreed to cover for me as Head of House, so I knew the Hufflepuffs would be in good hands, but that wasn’t making me any less nervous about the event.

 

A knock on the door brought me out of my worried reverie, and Melody came in smiling brightly.  At least I would have her by my side, an experienced press secretary and most importantly my means of support in case things got somewhat out of control.  She looked wonderful, as always, but I knew she had taken a little bit longer in preparing for today, as she was wearing a bottle-green v-necked jumper and a black pencil skirt with very low heels.

 

“Decided to wear the heels?”

 

She walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  “I figured I wouldn’t look so short next to you in the pictures.”

 

I took a very deep breath.  “Well, we should probably get this over as soon as possible.  Do I look all right?”  I had gone with the tweed suit and red and blue striped bow tie, but I wasn’t sure if it made me look pretentious.  “Is the bow tie too much?”

 

“You look fine, Hank.  Don’t worry, it’s just a book signing, not the Wizangamot.”

 

Somehow that didn’t make me feel any better.

 

-ooo-

 

 

Ian Coswock and his assistant Florence met us at the back door of Flourish and Blotts.  When I had called Florence “Ian’s girl Friday” on the way over Melody looked at me strangely, and asked how I knew Florence’s last name.  I tried to explain about the term “girl Friday” but Melody shook her head, and let me know that Friday actually was Florence’s last name.  Another part of the Wizarding world that reminded me that even though I was 1.3% wizard, I was mostly a Muggle.

 

“Oh Professor, so exciting!  The author meets his readers, always an enlightening moment!”  Ian led us from the back room at the shop to the small desk that was arranged in somewhat the center of the shop.  “I am glad you and your lovely fiancée have arrived early as I have more good news!  I received an owl yesterday, and we’re negotiating the rights to publish your book in North America!  If all goes well we might even be able to schedule a book tour!”

 

That surprised the hell out of me, as I didn’t think anybody would actually read my book, let alone have enough people want to read it and necessitate a book tour in another country.  I thought I might be able to turn the book tour into a vacation with Melody in the UMS and find out about the Wizarding world in my home country, but the noise soon brought me back to reality.  As the shop hadn’t opened yet the place was very quiet, except for the conversation of Ian and the shop manager, but I kept hearing something low that seemed somewhat out of place.  I got up from my table and walked to the front of the shop and looked out of the window, only to be met with the very pleased faces of Arthur and Molly Weasley.  I waved at them, and after waving back Arthur motioned over his shoulder.

 

“Holy shit.  MEL!”  I looked through the window, and behind the Weasleys a solid line of people stood waiting to get into the shop.  “MEL!”

 

“Merlin’s pants, Hank, what’s wrong?  I…oh!”  She stopped abruptly, waved at the Weasleys and then took in the number of people outside.  “I’m glad I brought an extra Muggle pen for you.”

 

I made my way back to the desk somehow, as my nerves were now truly taking hold.  Ian was beaming at me, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of all the sales and publicity, but all I could do was look at the stack of books next to the desk with their blue titles mocking me.  My watch said that it was almost time to start, and I saw the face turn from a bright, sunny sky to a cloudy sky.  I wondered if George had done something to the watch besides make it a communication device; perhaps it was the equivalent of the old Muggle mood rings.  I put my head down on the desk, slowly lifting it and letting it fall several times.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

“I can’t wait to read it, Hank.  I’m sure it will be very good.”  Molly Weasley beamed at me, then reached over and patted me on the arm.  “Just remember, these are your readers, Hank, so please watch your language.”

 

Melody laughed and I couldn’t help it, I did as well.  After signing Molly’s copy of my book with a very warm inscription, I handed her the book and watched her smile and head over to Melody.

 

“She can’t help it, you know.  All of our children’s friends call her Mum for a reason.”  Arthur stood in front of me holding a copy of my book.

 

“I know, Arthur.  She and my Mom will get along wonderfully someday.  Why are you picking up another copy of my book?  You don’t need to do that.  And why are you and Molly buying them anyway?  I would have given you both a copy; I get a bunch of them for free.”

 

He chuckled and looked over to Molly, making sure she was out of earshot and then leaned down.  “Molly wanted to help your sales figures.  Besides, I’m going to donate this copy to the Department of Muggle affairs after I’ve finished reading it.”

 

“You don’t need to do that.  Besides, you and Molly are in the book.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course.  You and Lavender saved me from and Auror attack and Molly did my genealogy.  There’s no way I would have ever made it this far without you.”  I stood up and held out my hand, and as Arthur shook it a flashbulb went off.  I guessed the _Daily Prophet_ wanted a picture of the Professor of Muggle Studies with the former head of the Department of Muggle Affairs.  Hopefully that would be the picture they would run.

 

After Arthur I went through a series of book signings, engaging in small talk with various witches and wizards, but mostly witches.  So far the questions were as I had expected, as they asked about teaching, learning about my wizarding heritage, the troubles with the WLF and the like, but what had surprised me were the number of questions about my upcoming marriage to Melody.  I politely changed the topic or glossed over events when I was asked about Medea, much to the amusement of Melody, who would kick my chair slightly when those questions were asked.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Melody and I entered The Leaky Cauldron behind Ian and Florence and were met by Hannah.  Melody had owled her earlier and Hannah had prepared a private room for us, and to thank her I brought her a copy of my book with a nice inscription.  I had to say, I was getting good at the “nice inscription” bit, as there were a lot of people that I needed to thank, and the least I could do was to write something nice in their copy of the book.

 

After sitting in our room I could finally relax, as it had been an interesting day to say the least.  I’d signed copies for what seemed like all of my friends in the Wizarding world, met some interesting people and had determined that my initial readership, based on the totally unscientific sample in the shop, was decidedly female.  This surprised me, as my book went into some details, approved by the Auror’s office before publication, about my run-ins with the WLF.  If my book was going to be a Muggle movie there would definitely be some action sequences, something that I had anticipated would garner some male readers.

 

“Well, well, well, Hank, that certainly went wonderfully!  We sold a great many books, won’t have the figures until early next week, but they were lined up to see you!  Very good turnout!  Hopefully that review will be in _The Prophet_ on Sunday, they told me it would have been out before your signing, but editors are just difficult sometimes!”  Ian looked over to Melody for confirmation, and she simply nodded, her lips tight.

 

I knew from experience that Melody was doing everything she could to keep from laughing, and to be honest my agent did look ridiculous, especially with the very large, floppy purple hat he was wearing for some unknown reason.  I caught Melody looking at the hat, and Ian must have noticed, as he waggled his eyebrows and pointed to it?

 

“Hmm, hmm…what do you think?  Did it in honor of the author, it’s a Muggle cabowey hat!”

 

“Oh, a cowboy hat, thank you Ian.”  With the hand that was underneath the table I pinched my leg as hard as possible to keep from laughing, as the hat looked more like something from a bad psychedelic movie than a cowboy hat.

 

“And that’s not all, I had Florence put up promotional posters all over Diagon Alley for your reading!  They were very successful, I believe.”  He pulled a rolled up poster out of his robes and handed it to me.  “Brought you one as a souvenir, suitable for framing!”

 

Melody cleared some space on the table and I unrolled the poster.  I expected to see something saying “Author of _My_ _Wand is Useless_ at Flourish and Blotts to sign copies of his new book,” blah blah blah, but it was entirely different.  Yes, the book title was in a very large font, but plastered front and center was the picture from _The Prophet_ right before James Potter was born.  I watched an image of myself pick up Melody and give her a very big kiss, and then watched it repeat over and over.  Underneath the picture were quotes from _The Prophet_ , including the one that said “Witches War for Muggle Love.”  _Fucking hell.  No wonder my book signing attendees skewed female._

 

I blinked my eyes a few times then looked up to Ian, who was obviously pleased with himself.  “What was wrong with the picture from the back of the dust jacket?”

 

Ian waved his hand dismissively.  “Good for the book but boring for the poster!  And now for the best part, Florence, will you do the honors?”

 

Florence pulled out a bag and sat it on the table without saying a word.  Ian smiled at me broadly, then took out his wand and levitated it across the table to me.

 

“What’s this, Ian?”

 

“The proceeds from your first week of book sales, Hank!  I do believe we have a best-seller!”

 

After Florence and Ian left Melody and I sat there in silence, and then began laughing uncontrollably.

 

“Hank, that hat…”

 

“Yeah, I know.  Ok, Mel, I know I don’t know a lot of witches and wizards, but is Ian a bit strange?”

 

“Definitely.  Even by our standards, and we have some odd ones.  And what about Florence, she didn’t say one word at all, even in the shop.”

 

I paused, and then leaned back against the back of the chair.  “You know, I’ve never heard her speak.”

 

“Ian probably does enough for the two of them.  Are they together?”

 

“No.  Well, maybe.  I don’t know.  They are kind of a matched set, though, aren’t they?”  I picked up the bag from off of the table and opened it.  “I didn’t want to look greedy and open it at the table, but I think now’s a good time.”  After pulling the drawstrings apart I looked in and was shocked, as it was one of those wizarding bags that held more than it should based on its size.  “Mel, look at this!”

 

She took the bag from my hands and her eyes went wide as she looked inside.  “Hank, I think there’s…we need to go to Gringott’s.  Now.  Well, we might want to stop by Fiona’s Filigree first.”  She looked up at me and gave me a big smile and her best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

 

 _Dammit.  She knew I couldn’t refuse that._   “Ok, but just for a minute or two.  Nothing extravagant, please.”

 

“Yes, Henry.”


	5. Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork

**Chapter 5: Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork**

 

 

The Saturday morning of the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw Quidditch match was dark and gloomy, as threatening rainclouds hovered over Hogwarts, appropriate for the first day of October.  This time, though, I was ready as I walked to the pitch carrying my umbrella.  As I made my way closer to the stands several excited students passed by, saying hello, their excitement undeniable.  The first Quidditch match of the year had made the last week almost unbearable, as all of the students were focusing on Quidditch instead of their studies, including my Muggle Studies bunch.  The continuing theme of World War 2 went well for about ten minutes until someone mentioned that it was like the opposition of two Quidditch teams, which totally disrupted the class.  My only consolation was at least this year they were concentrating on Quidditch instead of making my tea turn into sand.

 

I had promised George Weasley over the summer that I would sit on the Gryffindor side of the pitch at least once, and since Hufflepuff wasn’t playing I decided it would be a good time to honor our agreement and found my way to the stands, eventually making my way over to Hermione Weasley. 

 

“I thought you didn’t like Quidditch, Hermione.”

 

“Oh, hello, Hank.  Normally I don’t, but since Ron’s still away I needed something to get me out of the house.”  She rubbed her belly absentmindedly with one hand.  “Plus Ron’s made me promise to take the baby to as many Quidditch matches as possible.  I think he’s hoping that something will rub off.”

 

I sat down next to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  “How are you holding up?”

 

“Well, it’s been interesting, to say the least.  I have my good days and my bad days.  This morning went well; I actually was able to eat some breakfast.”

 

“Oh, well that’s good.”  I sat silent for a moment and didn’t look at her.

 

“That wasn’t what you were really asking, was it?”  She looked over and sighed.  “I guess I’m doing the best that I can.  It is hard with him being gone so long, but that’s part of the job.  We both knew when he became an Auror that things like this would happen.”

_Hopefully nothing bad would happen, as I didn’t want to think of Hermione without Ron._   Banishing the thought, I quickly changed the subject.  “And how’s Ginny?  Is she coming today?”

 

Hermione shook her head.  “No, she didn’t think the weather would be good for James.  She’s at the Burrow today, spending some time with Molly and Arthur.  I think George and Angelina are over there as well.”

 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

 

Hermione and I looked up to see Petal Farnsworth standing in front of us.  Before I could agree Hermione answered “Of course not, good to see you, Petal.”

 

After she sat down next to me the rain began to fall, a light enough rain to require an umbrella, so I opened mine and held it over the two witches.  It wasn’t doing a very good job as it wasn’t big enough, but Hermione fixed that with a quick wave of her wand.  I sat in the middle as Petal and Hermione discussed Hermione’s pregnancy, potential baby names and other female things.  I heard but I didn’t really listen, as I was lost in my own thoughts.  I wished Melody could have been there.

 

Hermione elbowed me, bringing me out of my funk.

 

“Huh?

 

“I asked you if Melody was coming today.”

 

“No, she’s in Bulgaria or wherever it is the Harpies are playing.  She wasn’t too happy about it, but there wasn’t much she could do.  I think she’s getting tired of all the travel.”

 

Hermione smiled, and I knew that face.  She had some news.  “Yes, what is it?  I’ve seen that look before.”

 

“Well, I did hear that your official wedding planner will be assigned by the Ministry very soon.  I think it’s going to be a lot more, well, grand than the previous plans.”

 

The rain stopped, and after I put the umbrella away, before I could say anything else, the Quidditch match began. 

 

After watching Gryffindor score twice Petal looked over to me.  “So, Hank, how’s Muggle Club going?”

 

“Pretty well, actually.  I wanted to thank you for your assistance in making it possible; Sawgrass told me how y’all managed it, pretty slick.  The first meeting was last week, and I just held it in my room as I didn’t think that many students would show up, but if last time was any indication of their interest we’ll have to move to my classroom.  I don’t think there were any empty spaces left to sit after a while.  We didn’t get much done except discussing what they wanted to get out of Muggle Club.  They’re supposed to bring back ideas of what they want to discuss or do for the next meeting.  How about your DADA Club?”

 

Petal shook her head.  “Well, I think the next meeting will be better, as all they wanted to know about was the curse that mangled my hand.  I think they’re finally satisfied now, so hopefully we’ll be able to do a bit more.  We did get the charter and roster finished, so at least all the paperwork is done.”

 

“Paperwork?”

 

“You didn’t do your paperwork?  Hank, you have to put together your charter and club roster.  It’s in the rulebook that Flurbin gave out at the beginning of the year.”  She looked at me and sighed.  “You haven’t even opened the book, have you?”

 

“Well…ok, no.  No I haven’t.”

 

“Hank, you don’t want to get on his bad side.  Trust me.”  She looked around briefly, and then leaned in close.  “I don’t want to say much, but I have heard that there are some interesting things about property ownership and our Headmaster.  That’s really all I can say right now.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After making my way back to the castle after the Gryffindor win I saw Neville sitting on a window ledge right outside the Great Hall, and he was staring at the floor.  It didn’t seem right, as Neville was usually very put together.  He could be flustered easily, but more often than not he was the epitome of a professor, so I knew something had to be wrong.

 

“You ok, Neville.”

 

He looked up briefly and then returned his gaze to the floor.  “Hello, Hank.  Fine.  Thanks.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”  Something was wrong with his voice, as I’d never heard him like that before.  “Is there something wrong?”

 

“No.  Far from it.  I’m fine.”

 

“Did you hear that Gryffindor won?”

 

“Um-hmm.”

 

I could tell he wasn’t really listening, so I figured I’d find out for sure.  “Neville, I accidentally set the Herbology classroom on fire.”

 

He just nodded.  “That’s nice.”

 

“I think I’m going to teach the rest of my classes this term drunk.  And naked.”

 

“Sounds splendid.”

 

I reached over and shook him.  “Neville, you haven’t heard a word I said.  What’s going on?”  I sat down next to him on the window ledge and pushed my glasses to the top of my head.  “Are you sure you’re ok?  What happened?’

 

He took a deep breath and looked at me, and his face displayed a complete sense of shock.  “After the match today Hannah and I were walking back to the castle, and she wanted to go to the lake, so we did.  When we got there…well…she asked me to marry her.”

 

 _Whoa.  Now I knew why he was completely rattled._   “Wow, Neville.  What’d you say?”

 

“I…I don’t know.  I don’t really remember much.  I just ended up here in the castle.  I don’t know how long I’ve been here sitting on this window ledge.  Hank, I have no idea what I said to Hannah, or even if I said anything.  She has to hate me now.”

 

“Nev, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t hate you.  You probably just need to go talk to her.  Um, you do want to marry her, right?”

 

“Absolutely.  But I’m afraid I’ve gone and mucked it up now.”  He leaned back and put his head against the window.  “I froze up, Hank.  She must think I’m a nutter.  I’ve been thinking that I should ask her soon, ask her properly, but she took me completely off guard.”

 

“My friend, there’s no real ‘proper’ way to do it, trust me.  I’ve never told you how Melody and I got engaged, have I?”

 

For the next few minutes I described how Melody and I got engaged, that she found my Gran’s ring and had tried it on, and I’d initially given her what she called the ‘absolute worst proposal’ or something along those lines.

 

“Then I told her how I felt about her and everything else just didn’t matter.  I’m sure it would be the same with you and Hannah.”

 

“I hope so.  What do you think I should do?”

 

“Go find her and tell you how you feel.  Let her know that she completely surprised you.  Look at this way, Neville; at least you know she’s thought about it.”

 

Suddenly it appeared as if a light switch had been turned on as Neville stood up, shook his head and had a very determined look on his face.  “You’re right, Hank.  Absolutely right.  If Flurbin asks where I’ve gone tell him…well, I don’t care what you tell him.  I’ll be back in an hour.”  He took a few steps away and then turned around.  “Better make it two hours.  Have to stop by Gran’s first.”

 

“Will do, Nev.  Go get her.”  I watched him stride out of the hall and laughed to myself.  If everything came off like I thought it would, there would definitely be some good stories at that wedding reception.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I didn’t hear anything else from Neville that night, and when I went down to breakfast the next morning I didn’t see him, either.  It was Sunday morning, after all, so I figured he was sleeping in due to all of the excitement the previous day.  Hopefully things had gone well for him, and I had a feeling, knowing Hannah a little, that they would. 

 

I was halfway through my omelet when the owls arrived, and Calliope landed deftly as always carrying my _Daily Prophet_.  I gave her my last sausage, which seemed acceptable.  This time, however, instead of flying away immediately she stood quite still.

 

“What is it, girl?  Want some more sausages?  I’m afraid you’ve cleaned me out.” 

 

She stayed in her spot and simply ruffled her feathers.  It was then I noticed a small note tied to her leg. 

 

“I beg your pardon, Calliope.”  I removed the note and picked up a piece of toast as an offering.  She took it in her beak for a moment, let it fall back to the table and flew out of the Great Hall.

 

“Picky.”  I unrolled the note and recognized the almost illegible scrawl of Ian Coswock.

 

_Hank,_

_I don’t think the review will hurt us much, as at least it is publicity!  We’re arranged an interview with Witch Weekly soon, and I’ll let you know the details when they are finalized._

_Records show that you sold 631 books at Flourish and Blotts, almost beating Gilderoy Lockhart’s record of 982!  Well done!_

_Ian Coswock_

 

How the hell did Ian get a note to be delivered by Calliope?  Melody must have sent him a note, as the last thing I remember sending Calliope out with was a note to Melody about Neville and Hannah.  What did he mean; the review hopefully won’t hurt us?  _Crap_.

 

I opened _The Prophet_ and began searching for the review and I finally found it with Rita Skeeter’s byline.  I scanned the review, and it didn’t seem too bad at first.  She thought the descriptions of my responses to the Wizarding world were “marginally interesting” and my involvement at Hogwarts “mundane,” but when she called my involvement with the Aurors and the incidents with the WLF “fabricated,” well that was too much. 

 

I threw down the paper and said, unfortunately out loud, “I can’t believe that fucking bitch.”

 

After realizing what I’d done I looked around the room, and sure enough every head was turned my way, including the Headmaster’s.  He looked at me very intently and stroked his mustache, and finally I had to look away.  I picked up the paper and tried to hide my face in it.  The rest of the review focused on how I misled my readers, as the advance publicity had focused on my relationship with Melody and the “love triangle” with Medea, but I had only mentioned that aspect of my life in passing.

 

It was a good thing that I didn’t know how to use my wand on purpose, or the next time I saw Ian Coswock I’d turn him into a newt.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When I got back to my room I sat down at my desk, rifled through the drawers and found a pipe.  After lighting it and taking a few good puffs I shook my head.  Hopefully nobody took Rita Skeeter seriously.  Fabricated?  Hardly.  My parents’ house was set on fire and their garage was destroyed!  I fought with the WLF, actually taking the lives of two men, something I did not take lightly, even after all of the time that had gone by. 

 

“Hank?  Honey?  Are you there?”

 

I looked to my fireplace, and Melody’s head appeared within the green flames.  I walked over and knelt down in front of the fireplace.  “I’m here.  How are you doing that?”

 

“It’s a Floo thing; don’t worry about that right now.  How are you doing?”

 

“Wonderful.  Rita Skeeter’s review…I really want to…I’m fine.  I fucked up, though.”

 

Melody’s head shook within the green flames.  “Hank…what did you do now?”

 

“I read Ian’s note first, then while reading Rita’s review I called her a fucking bitch.  Out loud.  At breakfast in the Great Hall.  Everybody heard and Flurbin looked furious.”

 

“Merlin’s pants, Hank.  You’ve got to watch your language!”

 

“I know, I know.  How the hell did Ian’s note come with Calliope?  I sent you a note last night.”

 

“A friend of mine at _The Prophet_ tipped me off about the review, so I sent Ian a note reading him the riot act about his posters and other publicity items.  He sent the note back with Calliope along with one for me saying that it was all part of the literary game.  You need to fire that idiot, Hank.”

 

“I would but I need someone to take care of that stuff while I’m here at Hogwarts.” 

 

“What about Neville?  Have you heard anything?  Churchill, get off that table right now!”

 

Normally I would have laughed at Melody’s attempt to make Churchill behave but I wasn’t in the mood.  “Nothing yet, he wasn’t down at breakfast. 

 

“Let me know when you find out anything.  I’m dying to hear.  Well, I’d better go.  Churchill is in the bin now trying to get the last bit of something off of the takeaway containers.  I love you, but watch your language!”

 

“I love you too.  I’ll send you a note as soon as I find out anything.” 

 

With that the fireplace resumed its normal appearance, and I was left to wonder what the hell was going on with almost everything.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I stayed in my room the rest of the day, only interrupted by Nonky’s delivery of lunch and a light evening meal.  I didn’t want to accidentally run into Flurbin, as I hadn’t really come up with a real excuse for my language.  Hopefully if I didn’t do anything else and kept a low profile for a while he would overlook it.  Hopefully.

 

It was late when I heard the knock on my door, and to be honest I really didn’t want to answer it.  Luckily, though, it wasn’t Flurbin at my door, it was Neville.

 

“Nev!  Come in, come in.  Tell me what happened.”

 

Neville grinned at me and walked in, flopping into my big green chair.  “Well, Hank, I joined your club.”

 

I sat at my desk and looked at him, confused.  “My club?  What do you mean?”

 

“I joined the engaged to be married club.  She said yes, Hank.  She said yes!”

 

I stood up and walked to him and extended my hand.  “That’s great news, Neville.  Great news.  So tell me all about it.”

 

“Well, sit back down, Hank, as it’s a bit of a long story.”

 

After returning to my chair Neville stretched and crossed his legs.  “After I left Hogwarts I went over to Gran’s, as I knew she had my Great-Gran’s wedding rings in the vault at Gringott’s.  I explained everything to her, and after calling me daft we went over there to get the rings, but the bank was closed for the day.  I stayed over at Gran’s and the next morning after getting the rings I apparated over to the Leaky and tried to find Hannah, but they told me she had sent a message that she wouldn’t be in that day.  I had no idea where to look, so I started searching everywhere, but I couldn’t find her.  Not knowing what else to do I went to George and Angelina’s place, and she was there.  I knew I couldn’t waste any time, so I got down on one knee and told her how I felt, that I was sorry that I had gone off the rails when she asked me earlier, and that nothing would make me happier than for her to be my wife, among other things.  She said yes, thank Merlin.”

 

“Wait.  You proposed to her in front of George and Angelina?” 

 

“Right in the kitchen.”

 

“Wow.  Now that is one hell of a proposal story, Nev.” 

 

Neville was beaming.  “Yes, I believe it is.”  Suddenly his face fell.  “Only one hitch, though.  I forgot to tell anyone that I was leaving Hogwarts, and Flurbin was waiting for me when I came back.  I’ve been in his office for the last hour listening to him go on and on about the professionalism of the staff and the Three D’s.  He told me what happened at breakfast this morning.  I think he’s out to get you, Hank.”

 

I shook my head.  “Wonderful.  I figured something like…wait, what time did you get back to Hogwarts?”

 

Neville ran his hand through his hair.  “Ahh…about two hours ago.  Hannah and I had a lot to talk about.”

 

I watched him turn slightly red.  “I bet you did, my friend.  So what did Flurbin do to you?  He didn’t fire you, did he?”

 

“No, but I am on probation until after Christmas.  And seriously, Hank.  You’d better watch yourself, as I’m pretty sure he’s looking for any excuse to get rid of you.  Oh, one other thing.  Flurbin has covered all of the portraits in the Headmaster’s office with some sort of black fabric.  Every single one of them.  I don’t know what that means, but I’m assuming it can’t be good.  You know, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I’m starting to reconsider that position.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

For the next eight weeks I did nothing but try to be a model professor.  I watched my language carefully, I stuck to my lesson plan, actually used the textbook somewhat and I put together the paperwork for Muggle Club.  After our third meeting I finally had all the students sign the roster, and although I forgot to turn it in immediately I had Natascha Vestram stop by my classroom to turn it into Flurbin.  Took me a while to find it in all my papers, but I figured that having the Head Girl turn in the documentation might make somewhat of an impact.

 

Hufflepuff won its Quidditch match handily against Slytherin, Halloween was a success and most importantly Neville and I were not in the limelight anymore.  That was the good news, but unfortunately the topic on everybody’s lips wasn’t good news.  For the last few weeks _The Prophet_ reported Muggle attacks by the WLF in England and as far away as the Philippines; not only was the WLF active here, but it seemed to be spreading.  Melody’s notes told me that Ginny and Hermione hadn’t heard from their husbands in weeks, but Ron had sent a quick note to Hermione in early October asking about her and the baby’s health and telling her not to worry.  Of course that sent Hermione off on a fit of intense worrying, resulting in her staying the night in the guest room at Colony House with Melody. 

 

The Saturday before Thanksgiving was booked solid for me, as it was the day that Melody and the Ministry Wedding Planner would visit as well as my interview with _Witch Weekly_.  I’d arranged to meet everyone in my classroom for the events, as my room was a total disaster.  Nonky was beside himself, but I’d let him know that I really wasn’t in the mood for cleaning up.  Something about the total disarray of the room was comforting.  After visiting one time Neville theorized that I had to be so controlled with everything else that my room was the one thing that I could let go.  I guessed he wasn’t too far off. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I was having tea in my room when Melody arrived.  I had thought about cleaning up before she turned up, but had decided it would take far too long to accomplish, so I braced myself for the inevitable.

 

“Henry!  This place is a disaster!”

 

“Hi honey, good to see you too.”

 

I watched her look around the room and shake her head.  Eventually she moved a stack of books from my big green chair and sat down. 

 

“I can’t believe the state of this place.  Please tell me you don’t let your students visit in this mess.”

 

“No, we have Muggle Club in my classroom.  Nice sweater.” 

 

Melody looked down, and then smiled at me.  She was wearing my gift from Molly Weasley that I received last Christmas; no wonder I couldn’t find it when I was packing.  It was somewhat too big on her, but somehow it looked just right. 

 

“Yes, it is a nice jumper.  Now don’t try to change the subject.  Please tell me why this place is such a disaster.”

 

I shrugged.  “Dunno, really.  Neville thinks it’s because I have to be so organized with everything else, especially with the stuff for Flurbin.  Are you really so bothered with the mess that you can’t even give me a kiss hello?”

 

“Maybe.”  Melody smiled at me, but that smile vanished as she looked around the room.  “There is no way in the world that I’m allowing you to treat our house like this.  Promise me you’ll clean this properly, and soon.”

 

I sighed.  “Ok, ok, I will.  Now the interview is first, right?”

 

“Yes, in about a half-hour.  Just enough time for tea.”  She stood up and walked over to me, and I finally received my kiss.  “Hank, what would your mother say about this mess?”

 

I laughed.  “She’d probably say that it reminds her of when I was a teenager.  It used to be worse than this.”

 

She pulled me to my feet, and as we walked out of my room she shook her head.  “Remind me to give your mother a large amount of sympathy.  I don’t know how she managed.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Melody and I sat on one side of a table and Margaret, the witch in the bright pink robes and hat from _Witch Weekly_ , sat directly across from us with a cup of tea, her notepad and several quills.  Luckily the first few minutes consisted of nothing but chit-chat between Melody and Margaret, as they had known each other for several years due to Melody’s work with the Harpies.  I felt like I had walked in on a girls’ tea or something, so I sat there and smiled and nodded occasionally, though I don’t believe they actually paid any attention to me. 

 

I found myself thinking again about the small statement Petal Farnsworth had made at the first Quidditch match, that there was some connection with Headmaster Flurbin and some land deals or something like that.  I’d done some initial research but had come up completely empty, and Neville had no idea as well.  I’d confided in Neville, as we were both spending a lot of time together since we couldn’t go see our fiancées.

 

“Hank?” 

 

Melody was touching my arm gently.  “Huh?  Oh, yes, sorry Melody.  Margaret, sorry.  Are we ready to begin?”

 

“You are quite right, Melody.  He is very introspective.” 

 

Margaret smiled at me, and I found myself quite relaxed for some reason.  There was something about her that just made me, for some reason, think of my high school English teacher.  Mrs. Gillip had passed away several years ago, but she had been my favorite teacher, the one who had introduced me to poetry and literature.  Now I had the feeling that, even in my classroom, I was in Mrs. Gillip’s class again.

 

“You’re being polite, Margaret.  I think most people would tell you I get lost in my own thoughts and I’m sort of rude sometimes.  I apologize.”

 

“No need, Professor.”  Margaret smiled and took up her quill.  “Now, we all know about your introduction into the Wizarding world and your, ah, adventures with the Aurors, so my questions will be on a somewhat different topic.”

 

“So you don’t agree with Rita Skeeter’s review of my book in _The Prophet_?”  I glanced over to Melody, who simply raised a single eyebrow and then looked back to Margaret, whose face had changed to show what I read as something approaching revulsion.

 

“Rita Skeeter is an embarrassment to every journalist who has ever raised a quill.  I fail to see why she is still employed by that paper, or any paper for that matter.”  Her face then resumed its former state, and her tone became much brighter.  “I, and most of our readers, believe everything in your book, but there are some things that we would like to know a bit more about.  Professor, can you tell our readers what it is like for a Muggle man to date a witch?”

 

 _Oh boy.  This was going to be interesting, to say the least._   “Well, it’s, um, there are some difficulties at first, especially if, like me, you have no idea the Wizarding world exists.  But I guess it’s really no different than in the Muggle world, its hard finding someone that you want to be with, and when you do you, um…well, in my case, you ask them to marry you.”  _Wow.  Totally eloquent, especially for someone with my literary background.  Melody would kill me later._

 

For the next hour I told Margaret how Melody and I met, how dating was different for Muggles and witches and how some of our differences weren’t so much due to witch and Muggle but because of the normal American and British discrepancies about things.  Crisps as opposed to chips, jumpers and sweaters, and how I’d learned to avoid using the word ‘pissed’ because it meant something totally different than what I was used to.  It didn’t seem so much an interview as a conversation that would have taken place in a pub or over tea in our kitchen in Stintborough.  Of course I left several things out of the conversation, as I was sure Melody would not like some things to be made public, especially what happened after the red-carpet event.  I knew I didn’t want the public, especially my students, to find out.  The one topic that Margaret did bring up that I refused to discuss at all was Medea, and hopefully that made Melody happy.

 

Eventually when the topic of the wedding came up, Melody was happy to join in the conversation; I informed Margaret that unfortunately Melody was handling everything, as I was quite busy at Hogwarts, but the wedding planner was meeting us later that day.  We discussed Muggle weddings and the differences with Wizarding weddings, and to be honest I mostly listened at that point, as I had no clue about non-Muggle ceremonies.  After going into detail about Ted and Candice’s wedding, I really got a surprise.

 

“Your brother Nathaniel, is he coming over for your wedding?  News on the street is that he and Lavender Brown have become quite the item.  After her visit to see him last month, can we expect another wedding in the future?”  She looked over to Melody.   “The Boyd brothers and their witches…that might not be a bad article.”

 

_Wait.  Lavender went over to D.C. to see Nate and nobody said a thing to me?  No letter from Nate?  Or Mom?  I didn’t expect one from Lavender, but nothing from my brother?_

 

“Oh.”  Margaret looked apologetically to me.  “You weren’t aware of that, I’m so sorry.  It just seems interesting to me, and I know our readers as well, that two brothers find witches so attractive.”

 

I felt Melody touch my arm.  “Yes, Hank, I think the readers would find that very interesting.”

 

Melody looked at me with a very large smirk, and I looked over to Margaret who simply smiled, her quill at the ready.  _Shit_.  “Um, after you get past the magic, there really is no difference.  People are the same in a lot of ways, whether they’re a Muggle or not.”

 

I looked at both witches, who at least seemed pleased with my answer.  Margaret began gathering her things, and stood up and extended her hand.  “I think I’ve got everything for the article.  Thank you so much for taking time out to visit with me, Professor.  We at _Witch Weekly_ think your book is quite good, and we wish you nothing but the best for your upcoming nuptials.”

 

I shook her hand across the table.  “Thank you very much, I appreciate it.”

 

After Margaret had left I looked to Melody.  “Did you know about Lavender going to see Nate?”

 

“No, Hank.  First I’d heard of it.  You did quite well on your interview, though.  I think you could have been a bit nicer about me; what was it you said?  That ‘she’s somewhat demanding’ or some rot?”

 

“Well, you are a bit demanding, but in a good way, love.”

 

“Nice save.  And I only counted four swear words, and not the really bad ones.  Now come on, we’ve got an hour before the wedding planner gets here and I am not leaving with your room in such a state.”

 

The next half hour passed quickly as Melody was initially amused with my mess, teasing me about throwing my clothes everywhere and the number of books out of place, but after that I could tell that she was irritated.  Not a good way to go meet the wedding planner, with the future bride angry at the groom.  Or possible groom, because she had stopped talking and was simply handing me things. 

 

After picking up yet another pile of books she put them down loudly on the desk and put her hands on her hips.  “Don’t you say one word about this to Hermione, or I’ll deny it.  Hank, would you please call one of the house elves?”

 

“No problem.”  I looked over towards the door.  “Nonky?  Could you stop by my room for a min…”

 

With a crack Nonky stood by the door, eyes wide.  “Does Professor Hank finally wish me to tidy his room?”

 

“Yes, he does, Nonky.”  Melody looked over to me, then back to the now-happy house elf.  “And he will make it up to you for being such a slob.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

“The planner’s late, Mel.”  I sat at the table and looked at my watch, still wondering if George had enchanted it somehow to reflect my mood as currently it was raining inside my watch.  “Do I need to send Calliope with a note or something?”

 

“Just sit still, Hank.  It won’t be long.  Besides, as you said so wonderfully to Margaret, I’ve been doing almost everything, so the least you can do is wait nicely.”

 

I put my glasses on the top of my head and rubbed my eyes.  _Damn, that interview was going to haunt me.  Maybe it would be better in print?_

 

The door opened suddenly.  “Ah, there you are, so sorry.  Ran into a bit of a dustup with the Headmaster, he didn’t want to let me in until I told him this was Ministry business.  Well, let’s get started, shall we?”  The woman walked over to Melody and me and extended her hand.  “So nice to meet you.  My name is Pepper Brooksip and I’m your Ministry appointed wedding liaison.”

 

We shook her hand and sat down as she began pulling very large books out of her briefcase, giving me time to see what kind of help Kingsley had provided.  I guessed her age to be around thirty or so, and her long black hair was pulled into an intricate braid that fell almost to her waist.  She wore several bracelets on both wrists, and there was no denying the incredibly large diamond on her left hand. 

 

With a satisfied air she clasped her hands together and placed them on the table.  “Before we begin, let me give you a wee bit of background.  I am not a professional wedding planner, as I work for the Ministry, and there really isn’t a department for marriages and weddings.  Too bad about that, there really should be, but one can always hope.  Maybe in the next administration.  Anywhoo, I do have some experience as my husband August and I have been married for a year now, and we spent three years planning our ceremony.  Now, I know that security will be a very important part of your day, as the Minister informed me a few days ago, and I do have my instructions from the Aurors, but I assure you that your very special day will not be marred by unsightly security.  Oh no, we have plans for that.  Now as I understand we’ve already secured the venue and have the date and time, so the hard part is out of the way.  Well, besides the proposal.” 

 

She smiled at Melody and then winked at me.  Before Melody could say a word Pepper charged forward.  “I understand that the scope of the ceremony and the reception has grown due to Ministry involvement, something that can’t be helped, but we can turn that into a very large positive.”

 

Melody held up her hand slightly in front of her face.  “Excuse me, Miss Brooksip?”

 

“Oh, please call me Pepper.  After all, we’ll be spending quite a lot of time together.”

 

I didn’t want to look at Melody, so I continued to look at the very impressive ring on Pepper’s hand.  Whatever August Brooksip did, he must be very good at it.

 

“Pepper it is, then.  I do have one question.  What department do you work in for the Ministry?”

 

Melody’s voice was polite, but I couldn’t read her very well.

 

“Well, since there isn’t a wedding department, I work in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.  Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee, actually.  Its great fun and you get to be so creative.  And speaking of creative, have you thought about bridesmaid dresses?  I have a lot of options, so let’s get started, shall we?”

 

For the next, Merlin’s pants, I don’t know how long it was, all I know was that it was a long time as I tuned out after about ten minutes.  I sat there looking at bridesmaid dresses, napkin patterns, floral arrangements, bridal gowns, magically enchanted whatevers that would go into the air and do something after the ceremony, blah blah blah.  I nodded a lot and said “um-hum” and “yes” and usually “whatever you want, love.” 

 

Pepper stopped describing something in mid-sentence, which caused me to actually pay attention to her. 

 

“I almost forgot.  Professor, since your magic comes from your ancestors, the Ministry has requested that you wear your kilt, to show respect to your magical heritage.  I trust it won’t be a problem to have kilts made for your groomsmen, and I think you’ll find that Wizarding kilt makers are much quicker than the Muggle ones.“

 

 _Shit shit shit.  Exactly what Melody didn’t want_.  “Um, I guess.  Melody?”

 

“Well, Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd, it sounds like the decision has been made for us.”

 

 _Uh-oh.  Whenever Melody called me by my full name I knew it wasn’t a good sign._   “Don’t worry; nothing will happen like last time.  I promise.”

 

“That sounds like a very interesting story, but we’ll have to wait until our next session.”  Pepper handed Melody and me each a piece of parchment.  “Now here are your assignments for our next meeting.  I know it may look like a lot but we’ve got to make some progress; after all there are only a little over eight months left, not very much time.  I’ll owl you later to schedule our next meeting.”  She stood up, and before I could do anything she came over and hugged both of us.  “I’m so excited.  My first celebrity wedding!  Ta-ta!”

 

As soon as Pepper left my classroom I stood and looked at Melody, but neither of us could actually form a sentence, so I looked down at the parchment in my hand.  Now I understood how my students felt, as I had at least a foot of text. 

 

“Mel, what the hell just happened?”

 

“Our wedding planner is a giggly little twit, our wedding is going to end up being a giant production and you’re wearing that bloody kilt, that’s what just happened.  Tell me why I’m doing this again?”

 

“Because you love me?”  I looked at her and tried to give her the face I used when I was a kid to get out of trouble with Mom. 

 

She shook her head and giggled.  “Merlin knows why sometimes, but I do.  All I know for sure is you’re taking me on one hell of a honeymoon.”

 

“Definitely.”  I looked down at my parchment.  “You’re going to have six bridesmaids plus the maid of honor?  I thought we agreed on three.”

 

Melody took off her glasses, walked over and put her arms around my waist.  “We went over that in the first five minutes.  You’re hopeless.  Don’t worry; we’ll take care of it.  Just owl me your homework and I’ll take care of the rest.”


	6. WUMP!

**Chapter 6: WUMP!**

 

“Ladies, that was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners I’ve ever had.”  I sat back in my chair, stuffed to the gills.  Our little table in the Stintborough house was filled with the debris of a turkey, multiple empty bowls, and only a few pieces of pumpkin pie.  It was all I could do to bring the coffee cup to my lips, as I’d already let out my belt and unbuttoned my pants. 

 

“I’m glad it was better than last year’s.  I had some help, though.”  Melody smiled at me, and then turned to Molly Weasley, who patted her on the arm. 

 

“I think you fixed enough for the whole Weasley clan, Mum.”  Ginny looked over at Hermione, who was adding yet another spoonful of whipped cream onto her piece of pumpkin pie.  “Well, maybe not.”

 

“I would have you know that I usually eat very sensibly for the baby.  All of the books I’ve read say…”

 

“Never mind the books, Hermione.”  Molly chuckled.  “When I was pregnant with Bill one of the books said that I should eat nothing but stewed carrots for three weeks to get rid of morning sickness.  Nothing happened except that I couldn’t stand the sight of carrots for months after that.  Just eat what you want and worry about it later.”

 

I stood up and placed my napkin on the table.  “And now, ladies, let me show you one of the best American Thanksgiving traditions.  I am now going to go to the sofa, turn on the television and potentially take a nap.”  I walked over and did exactly that, the whole time waiting to hear some comment from Melody that I was being rude.  Fortunately for me, the rest of the assembled witches followed suit, although Hermione did take a bit longer as she was busy retrieving the last piece of pumpkin pie. 

 

Melody, quite proudly, turned on and inserted a DVD.  “I thought this would be interesting for our guests, Hank.”  As the DVD started up she turned to the other witches.  “Hank’s Mum sent this a while back with a note saying she saw this program in a much different light after meeting me.”

 

The beginning of the Wizard of Oz started flickering in our living room and, true to my word, I fell asleep.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

“Hank?  Honey, time to wake up.  You have to go back now.” 

 

Melody was shaking me slightly, and after I sat up I noticed that we were alone in the house.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  Did you tell everybody thank you?  I’m sorry I missed saying goodbye.”

 

“Yes, I did.  I hope this Thanksgiving dinner was much better than last year’s.”

 

“Well, I hate to say it, but the food was better.  Last year was pretty good for other reasons, though.”  I reached out and pulled her towards me, causing her to shake her head.

 

“Behave, you.  If you don’t get back soon you’ll be in big trouble.”

 

“I’m probably already in trouble, what’s a few more minutes?” 

 

She pushed herself away and looked me straight in the eye.  “Hank, be honest with me.  Are you in trouble with the Headmaster?”

 

I shrugged.  “Probably.  Most of the time he ignores me.  But if we’re doing the whole honesty thing, tell me what part of our meal you actually cooked.”

 

I watched her straighten her back and push her hair behind her ear.  “I smashed the potatoes.”

 

“Well they were really good.  Don’t worry; I can’t do a turkey either.  Molly’s got us beat on that and everything else by a mile.  I guess all those years of cooking for Weasley appetites has paid off.”

 

Melody giggled for a few seconds and finally was able to form a sentence.  “Not to mention Hermione’s appetite.  Did you see how much she put away?  Ginny told me she can probably out-eat Ron now.”

 

“Speaking of Ron, I didn’t want to say anything in front of Ginny or Hermione, but have they heard anything from Ron and Harry?”  I got up from the couch and stretched.  “How long has it been now?”

 

Melody stood up and took a hold of my arm.  “A long time.  And you’ve been gone for a long time as well, so let’s get you back now.”

 

I felt a familiar tug and soon enough we were as close as we could apparate to Hogwarts.  Melody leaned up and gave me a quick kiss.  “Now get in there, and remember, I need your wedding homework, Professor.”

 

I cocked my head to the side and smiled.  “Well, what if I don’t get it in on time?  Will I have detention?’

 

“You won’t like my punishments, Hank.  Trust me.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

That Saturday I decided to skip the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw Quidditch match as my student’s parchments needed grading and I still needed to complete my homework.  Using World War 2 as a framework for my classes was turning into an education for not only my students but for me as well, as I was learning how the Wizarding world suffered right along with everybody else.  Due to the German bombing campaign several magical villages had been destroyed, and the complications of trying to hide during troop movements and training was almost impossible.  It helped that Winston Churchill was a wizard, but even he couldn’t do as much as he wanted for fear of rousing suspicion.  Large parcels of land that were owned by wizards were given over to Muggles, sometimes not without a fight in the Wizangamot, but the overall consensus was that it was a small sacrifice compared to the maintenance of secrecy. 

 

My homework, though, had a different due date.  At least with my student’s parchments I was the one in charge of the grading timeline, but I had to send Calliope with my details later that day.  I looked over Pepper Brooksip’s list and realized that I was going to need to write more letters before I could fill in the details, so the majority of the morning was filled with writing notes and waiting for Calliope to return.  I looked over my notes, double-checking them.  Neville would be my best man, and then my brothers Nate and Ted would stand up with me.  I’d already received notes back from Hermione and Ginny accepting on behalf of their husbands, which worked out well as I learned that they would be in the wedding party with Melody.  Calliope had taken a letter to George, but I hadn’t heard from him, so without my owl or George’s response I was dreading going to the owlery.

 

Luckily I didn’t have to go to the owlery, as instead of writing a note like a normal wizard, though, George had to be different.  Calliope returned through my window bearing a small package wrapped in the gaudy purple paper that immediately let me know George had sent me something from his shop.  I took the package from Calliope and unwrapped it to find a small, grey object shaped somewhat like…an iPod.  I put the attached headphones on, and started to move my fingers across the interface when I realized the object didn’t _have_ an interface.  _Now what?_   I looked around the room for the paper that I’d discarded, and sure enough there was a very piece of parchment that said to say the specific phrase written on the note.

 

“Play George’s note.”

 

Suddenly the object came to life, turning a slight glowing red color, and I heard George’s voice in my ears.

 

“Congratulations, Hank, what you hold in your hand is the second prototype and first product of our partnership, sort of like that iPlod thingy you brought me.  I got your note and thought what better way to surprise you and agree to stand witness to your execution, oh sorry, your wedding, than to give you one to play with.  The way the Muggle thing you gave me worked was a bit fiddly, so I’ve cleared that up.  Just tell it what you want to hear, and if it’s on the device it’ll play.  I’ve put a few sample items on it, but you’ll have to experiment and see what you think.  Still don’t have a name for it, so I could use a bit of help on that one.  I’m hoping to have them out for Christmas, so chop-chop word boy.  Owl me some names for it as soon as you can.”

 

 _What the hell, a wizarding iPod?_   I turned it over in my hand and suddenly George’s voice was back again after a very long pause.

 

“What?  I’m making a message for Hank.  Yes, on the second one.  I know the first one blew up, Ang, that’s why I’m sending him the second one.  No, it’s quite safe.  Trust me.  I don’t know, pot roast?”

 

 _Holy crap._   I took the headphones out of my ears and looked down at the little thing, which immediately ceased glowing red.  The first one blew up?  That couldn’t be good. 

 

I put the thing down on my desk and picked up a pen, writing a note to Melody that I’d successfully completed the groomsman portion of my homework with one exception; I wanted my old college roommate to stand up with me as well.  I didn’t know how it would work, as he was definitely a Muggle, but I figured that giving Pepper that problem to solve would keep her out of my hair for a while. 

 

After sending Calliope off with the last note of the day I looked back to the little grey device.  It was a personal device, magical, there was music…wait, was there music?  I put the headphones back on and picked it up, once again greeted by the slight red glow.

 

“Play music.”

 

The device chimed in my ear, in a very melodic and gender-neutral tone “This device contains three songs by Celestina Warbeck.  Which song would you like to hear?”

 

I rolled my eyes.  “Random selection.”  Celestina Warbeck’s song about a cauldron, hot love or something like that came on, very loudly.

 

“Quieter, please.”

 

The device began lowering the volume until I said “That’s good.” 

 

I struggled through the rest of the song and was starting on the second one when it dawned on me:  I was listening to music in my room at Hogwarts.  It worked.  Maybe George could get my CD’s on this thing.  It was magical, it probably didn’t matter if you used one type of a computer or another, and it probably didn’t even use a computer.  It was universal…universal…that was it.

 

I went to my desk and wrote down Weasley Universal Music Player.  As soon as Calliope returned, unfortunately without a note from Melody, I tied the message to her leg and sent her off at once.  George Weasley had created the WUMP.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

To be quite honest I had forgotten that Monday was my birthday; all of the wedding planning, letters back and forth to George and grading of parchment had made it slip my mind.  Nonky had remembered, though, so I was greeted with a very nice cup of coffee to start my morning.  After making my way down to the Great Hall for breakfast I was instantly greeted by Lavinia, who reminded me that our Muggle Club meeting was that afternoon.  After making sure that no one was around, she also lowered her voice, told me Happy Birthday and handed me a note.

 

After sitting down to breakfast I opened the note and it turned out that Lavinia was once again the Hufflepuff on the inside, as it was a very nice letter from Melody.  I was in the middle of what was a very nice, romantic section of the letter when I heard “nice letter, I take it?”  Professor Chang sat down next to me, and I hurriedly folded the note and stuck it in my pocket. 

 

“Yes, a nice note.  Um-hum.”

 

“Hank, you’re blushing.”  She shook her head, “don’t worry, I’m not going to ask.”

 

“Thank you.  So, Professor, what’s the latest with Charms?  Anything interesting?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders.  “Not really.  One of your Hufflepuff students asked me about the bracelet you gave Melody the other day, that’s been about it.”

 

 _That could only be one student._   “Was it a second year girl with a pixie haircut?”

 

“Yes.”  Cho laughed for a bit.  “I caught her discussing it with another girl during class.  I think she’s very excited about your wedding.  How is the planning going?  I heard that a Ministry employee came to visit with you and Melody the other day.  Flurbin wasn’t very happy about it, but there wasn’t much he could do as she showed him a note from Kingsley.”

 

_Shit.  Flurbin.  What was his problem with Pepper coming to see Melody and me?  I didn’t leave Hogwarts grounds, and Melody is an alumnus, they’re allowed back whenever they like.  Maybe Petal could help me out; she used to be an Auror._

 

“Professor?  Hank?”

 

“Oh, sorry, just thinking for a minute.”

 

“You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?” 

 

“No, not at all.  Just caught up in something else.  I’m sorry my wedding has been a cause of disturbance in your class.”

 

Before Cho could respond Hagrid sat next to me, and the rest of breakfast was filled with a discussion on the safety, or lack of it, that certain creatures would cause for the next term.  The owls arrived as usual, and after Calliope delivered my _Daily Prophet_ I settled in with a cup of coffee and didn’t notice the other owl until Cho tapped my paper.  A very plump owl sat in front of me with what could only be the most recent copy of _Witch Weekly._   I dropped the paper immediately and took the magazine and unrolled it.

 

Luckily I wasn’t on the cover; instead of me or Melody there was a picture of a witch standing over an empty cauldron with a perplexed look on her face.  The main headline read AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO FIX?  LOOK INSIDE FOR TEN COOKING TRICKS.  The rest of the cover had a blurb about weight loss, but then I saw it towards the bottom of the cover.  EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH HOGWARTS’ PROFESSOR MUGGLE!

 

I flipped through the magazine until I saw it, and there I was.  At least Margaret had used the picture from the back of my book.  I scanned through the article and surprisingly didn’t see anything I disagreed with.  My arrival at Hogwarts was mentioned, a funny story about my classes, the story behind the title of my book…wait.  I didn’t remember telling her that; how did she find that out?  Looking further at least Margaret didn’t name Poesy as the culprit, so I didn’t have to deal with the fallout over that specific item.  I flipped the page and there were the pictures of Melody and me from the Potters’ New Year’s Eve party and…damn.  The picture for the press right before James Potter was born.  I kept reading and, actually, the rest of the article was fine, but the last part made me think.

 

_Well, ladies, it appears to this reporter that Melody Bramble and Professor Boyd are quite happy, and even though this interview was mostly with the Professor, I’m sure you faithful readers will have plenty of questions.  Send in your letters and if there is enough response Witch Weekly will interview Melody Bramble on what it’s like being the fiancée of a Muggle!_

 

I closed the magazine and shook my head. _Son of a bitch._

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Muggle Club had a slightly larger attendance that night due to my interview in _Witch Weekly;_ I was hoping that the magazine skewed towards an older readership, but after several of my students handed me copies to sign I knew that it was hopeless to try and avoid the topic.

 

“My agent set it up; he said it would be good publicity to sell books.  I think you all know about everything that’s in there, and probably more, so it isn’t a big deal.  Now, what’s on our agenda tonight?  Remember, this isn’t my class; this is a chance for you to decide what you want to know or do during our time.  Anybody?”

 

The room was silent, and nobody said anything, but I noticed several sets of eyes began to look towards Poesy Phillips. 

 

I shook my head.  “Ok, out with it Poesy.  What is it?”

 

She smiled and looked towards Lavinia, who nodded. “Well, Professor Muggle, those of us in your fourth year class last year really liked the practical part of our final exam.  We’ve been wondering…do you think we could have a club meeting at the same place?  After the holidays, of course.  And if its ok with you could Melody Bramble be there as well?”

 

 _Oh boy_.  I looked around the room and did a quick headcount.  How would forty-five students fit into my little house?  I looked over at Lavinia and wondered if she’d been a part of the planning, as she glanced up towards Poesy.  “That will take a great deal of planning.  My house isn’t that big, so everybody wouldn’t fit.  Maybe we should look to have it before the end of the school year, that way we could use the garden.  And I’m not sure what my fiancée would say; I would have to ask her first.”

 

“She said it was up to you.”

 

I looked over and sure enough, Lavinia was turning slightly red.  “Miss Ryder?”

 

“Well I might have owled Melody the other day after Poesy and I talked and…”

 

“That’s fine, Lavinia.”  I held up my hand briefly.  “Let me see what needs to be done, first.  I’m sure permission slips, among other things, will be required.  Now, what’s our topic for tonight?”

 

Ruby Smythe-Warring stood up, and I noticed Carrick Frye, her boyfriend didn’t have a particularly enthusiastic look on his face. 

 

“Yes, Ruby?  What did everyone decide?”

 

“Muggle wedding traditions!”  As soon as she said that there was a lot of squealing from the girls and every boy looked as if he’d just been sentenced to a year with Filch.  “We thought it was appropriate, sir.”

 

I looked at the boys and then returned to Carrick.  “Is that what everyone decided? “

 

Carrick looked over to Peter Sawgrass, who put his head in his hands.  After shaking his own head he looked back over to me.  “We got outvoted.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The first weekend in December was a Hogsmeade weekend, something that I looked forward to just about as much as my students, as I would finally be able to spend some time with Melody that didn’t involve a turkey or Pepper.  I did have one meeting, though, but hopefully it wouldn’t take long; George was opening a Hogsmeade branch of his shop, and had owled me that he’d be debuting the WUMPs that day.  I’d informed Melody that we’d be meeting George at his shop, and there was a surprise in it for her, but that was the extent of my information.  It was all I could do to not tell her about the WUMPs, and hopefully she would take to them as much as I had.

 

I’d owled back George not long after playing with the WUMP and had provided some suggestions such as providing an instruction manual of all of the acceptable control phrases and had asked for something better to listen to than Celestina Warbeck.  I’d received my WUMP a few days later with a note listing the controls and telling me that since I was the writer that I could write the instruction manual.  At least he was kind enough to load some Weird Sisters songs, which were pretty good in a Radiohead meets The Munsters kind of way.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

While walking down to Hogsmeade I heard my name and turned around to see Petal Farnsworth waving at me.  I stopped and waited until she caught up.

 

“You must be as anxious as the students, Hank.  I don’t think you actually noticed what you ate for breakfast this morning.”  Her smile was warm as we continued walking.  “Can’t say that I blame you, though.  The article in _Witch Weekly_ was quite nice.”

 

“You read that?”

 

“Of course.  Have to know the best household spells and what robes are in fashion.  Don’t laugh, even Aurors like to look pretty.”  She looked around quickly and then walked closer, her voice low.  “Speaking of Aurors, I have it on good authority that two of your favorite Aurors will arrive home shortly.  When you get a chance, ask them about Flurbin and his recent property acquisitions.  That’s all I know right now.”

 

I nodded and then became lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out how Flurbin’s real estate could have anything to do with what Ron and Harry had been doing.  We walked in silence for a while until we arrived in Hogsmeade. 

 

“Well, Hank, I’m off to Honeydukes.  Don’t say anything, but sweets are my weakness.  Enjoy your day.”

 

I waved goodbye, still trying to figure out what she meant about Flurbin.  At least I knew that Harry and Ron would be back soon, so hopefully I would be able to ask them.

 

The Hogsmeade version of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes was on a much smaller scale than the shop in Diagon Alley, but the tradition of visual overkill was still very much the same.  Large soundless fireworks seemed to go off at regular intervals, displaying the triple-W logo, and the overall color scheme, while purple, was definitely loud.  After coming close, though, I saw a sign over a crowd of students, with glowing red letters.

 

**Father Christmas knows what you WUMP this year**

**Introducing the Weasley Universal Music Player**

**Listen to Your Music Anywhere**

**Initial Offering - Limited Quantities**

I made my way into the shop only to be engulfed in a flood of students who were not only crowded around the WUMP display but were also purchasing everything that was on the banned products list.  Peter Sawgrass noticed me and immediately put down whatever it was he was holding, so I smiled, started to whistle and looked pointedly towards the other direction.

 

After a while I eventually made my way to the counter, where a very harried-looking young witch said without looking at me that they were out of WUMPs and I could put my name on a list. 

 

“That’s great, but I’m here to see George.”

 

“Oh!”  Her head snapped up.  “Professor Muggle, he’s been expecting you.  Right this way.”  I followed her towards the back of the shop and eventually she pointed to a small blue door.  “You’ll have to duck; it’s goblin-sized and we’re fixing it next week after the rush.  Have to go back now.”

 

I watched her leave and then opened the door, careful to not hit my head on the doorframe. 

 

“Ah, there he is!  Hank, we have a winner on our hands!”

 

George and Melody sat at a table, and luckily the ceiling was much higher than the door led me to believe.  I walked over to the table and George stood up and stuck out his hand.  “Nicely done, partner.  I think we’ll be seeing a few of those in stockings on Christmas morning.”

 

“Thanks.”  I stopped shaking his hand and leaned down and gave Melody a kiss.  After hearing George whistle Melody looked around my shoulder.

 

“Nice, George.  It’s a wonder that Angelina hasn’t hexed you to bits yet.”

 

“Well, there was that one time…”  George stopped.  “Never mind.  Ok, time for me to head back out there and see how many orders for WUMPs we have.  And that reminds me, Hank, I’ve given the future Mrs. Boyd some documents for you, nothing unusual, very standard.  Take a look and when you’re ready you can sign them.  The thing we discussed is in the box with the green bow on top of the counter.  Now I might have to come back here at any moment, so please try to keep your clothes on.”

 

Even after he left I could hear George laughing.  I sat down, looked over to Melody and winked.

 

“Please tell me George didn’t give you any ideas.” 

 

“No, don’t worry.  Nothing like that.”  Melody glanced over at me, but something was up; usually when she teased me there was more of a smile on her face.  “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No, you haven’t.  I, well…I did something and I probably should have talked to you first, but I just went ahead and did it.  Hank, I quit the Harpies.”

 

“Really?  You quit?  Why?”  I watched her twirl a strand of hair in her hands, so I knew there was more to it than just a decision to quit.

 

“I took another job.  Hank, I’m the editor of a new column in _Witch Weekly_.  They made me an assistant editor.”

 

“That’s great, Mel.  Now you won’t have to travel.  You won’t have to travel, will you?”

 

“No, I won’t.  Well, just inside Britain, but I’m not sure you’ll like the column I’m writing.  Honey, it’s called ‘I’m Marrying a Muggle.’  Please don’t get mad.”

 

_I was going to be the topic of the column my fiancée was going to write in her new job at Witch Weekly.  Perfect.  The only thing I could think of, and I don’t know why, was that Ian Coswock would be happy as it would be more publicity.  Her new job would make it easier as she wouldn’t be traveling as much, which was a good thing.  Was I mad?  No, not really.  Actually, not at all, and I really wasn’t sure why._

 

“Hank?”

 

“I’m sorry, love.  I’m not mad, I’m happy for you.  Just promise me you’ll let me read your columns before they go to press, ok?’

 

After I said that she was out of her chair and in my lap, hugging me tightly  I pulled her off of me slightly and then took her chin in my hand, bringing her eyes close to mine.  “Just remember to talk to me about big decisions next time, ok?”  She nodded and out of the corner of my eye I saw the box with the green bow on the counter.  “Mel, you haven’t asked me about the surprise.  Did you forget?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Understandable, with your news and all, but let me ask you a question.  Did you see George’s new product?  The WUMP?”

 

“Yes, I did, and before all of the students got here I even tried one out for a while.  They’re quite brilliant.  George only had about a hundred in stock and he said they sold out in an hour.  Why do you ask?”

 

“Because, if I’m correct, your very own WUMP is in the box with the green bow over there.” 

 

After retrieving the box she opened it, and sure enough, there was a WUMP.  Unlike me, and most men that I know, the first thing she did was sit down and read the directions.  I hoped that my text was clear enough for her to understand how to make everything work.  After activating it and putting in her headphones, I noticed that unlike my version of the WUMP, Mel’s version pulsed with a yellow light.  She was quite thrilled with it, especially after finding a brand new Weird Sisters song pre-loaded, as she did the usual talk-very loudly-while-wearing-headphones bit telling me how good it was. 

 

While Melody was enjoying her new present I opened the large envelope that George had left me.  I read the first few pages, but it was not easy going as the documents were in a legalese that I’m sure Percy Weasley could have written in his sleep, so I took a break and skipped a few pages.  Then I thought about my obliviation contract from the previous year so I went back and actually began reading very closely.  When I got to the last page, though, I couldn’t believe it.

 

“Holy shit.  Mel!”  I looked over to her, and she had her eyes closed and was tapping her fingers on her thigh, so I picked up a piece of scrap parchment and threw it at her.

 

She took off her headphones with a look of irritation.  “What?  What is it, Hank?  The song was just getting good and now I’ll have to start all over again.”

 

“Just tell it to pause next time.  Mel, take a look at this.”

 

She scanned the document for a moment and then looked up to me.  “The WUMP was your idea, Hank?  And you’re getting ten percent of all profits?  Sweet Merlin’s Mommy, Hank, do you know what that could mean?”

 

“Yeah, that’s not the part that freaked me out.  Read the next paragraph, Mel.”  I watched her read for a few seconds and then her head shot up.

 

“Is he serious, Hank?”

 

“Yeah, he is.”  I took out my pen and signed my name to the bottom of the document, next to George’s name.  “Mel, I now own 1.3% of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After Melody and I recovered from our shock, we spent the next few minutes as if we had just won the lottery, talking about what we could eventually do if everything was as successful as we hoped it would be.  Eventually, though, we came back down to reality and decided that paying off the remainder of the Colony House debt would be our first priority, regardless of whether or not the WUMP or my very small stake in Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes would actually provide any money. 

 

When my stomach began rumbling Melody looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.  “That’s happening a lot to Hermione these days.  Do you have news, Hank?”

 

“Yes, I’m hungry and pregnant with Helga Hufflepuff’s child.  Where are we going for lunch?”

 

“The Three Broomsticks.  I forgot to tell you, we’re having some company at lunch.  Sorry.”

 

 _Great.  So much for a nice, somewhat romantic lunch with my fiancée.  Oh well.  I figured it was probably just Pepper with more wedding plan tasks.  No big deal._   “Sure.  Let’s go, but I want to speak with George first.”

 

“That will take forever.  I’ll just meet you there.”  She gathered her bag from the back of the chair and put on a jacket which looked very familiar.

 

“Is that my jacket?  The one that I looked for all over the house and couldn’t find?” 

 

“Maybe.  Now don’t be too long.”

 

I tried to catch George’s attention in the shop, but he was surrounded by students waving reservation forms at him, so I made my way over to the counter.  After informing the frazzled looking witch at the counter that I was not trying to reserve a WUMP and only wanted to speak with George for a moment, I watched the witch rub her dangling purple triple-W logo earrings.  A few minutes later George was at the desk.

 

“So, are we officially in business, Hank?”

 

“We are, George.  I left the papers on the table, but are you sure about everything?”

 

“Least I could do, mate.  Besides, I thought you would enjoy the ownership percentage.  Nice number, isn’t it?”

 

“Thanks, yeah, I like the number.  Could you do me a favor though?  I really don’t want my name publicized; don’t think it would go down very well with Flurbin if he found out.  Or the other professors, for that matter.”

 

“Not a problem.  Now about…”  George stopped and looked down at his watch _._

_Wait.  George Weasley was wearing a watch?  Ron had said that he never wore a watch.  It looked a lot like the one I had, the one with mood-weather face, the one that was a…communication device.  This couldn’t be good._  

 

George’s face changed from its usual smirk to a scary, serious look.  “Hank, you need to come with me.”  He looked over to the counter and yelled “VERITY!  Send a note to the Three Broomsticks to Melody Bramble.  Tell her Hank is with me and we’ll be back as soon as possible.”

 

“George, what the hell is going on?”

 

“No time.  Follow me.”

 

As we walked through the shop George began picking things up off of the shelf and handing to me, not even looking back to see if I was holding on to everything.  When we entered the back room George waved his wand and a row of shelves moved away, revealing a small room with additional shelves, and he entered and began handing me even more things until my arms were completely full.

 

“I can’t carry all this stuff, George.  Do you have a bag or something?”

 

His head swiveled about until he reached into a box and pulled out a bag that reminded me of the ones that mailmen carried.  “Here.  Put it all in there, but keep this out.”  He pulled a piece of fabric out of my arms and slung it over my shoulder.  “Come on, hurry up, we don’t have much time.”

 

I shoved everything into the bag and slung the strap over my free shoulder and then looked at him.  “What’s going on?” 

 

“Just do what I say, Hank.”  He pulled out what looked like a piece of candy and gave it to me.  “Eat that quickly.”

 

I unwrapped the ‘candy’ and ate it quickly, ignoring the fact that it tasted like week-old pizza. 

 

“Now follow me and don’t say a word.”

 

We walked out the back door of the shop and walked down an alley for a bit until George suddenly stopped.  He took the fabric from over my shoulder, shook it out and threw it over me.  Instantly things became hazy, but I could see through the fabric as if it was gauze.  I watched George tap his watch face, and after I felt him take a hold of my arm the familiar tug of side-along apparition was upon us and we were gone.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Luckily George had a hold of my arm when we arrived, as the sheer force of the wind nearly took me down.  I tried to take in as much as possible before we began walking to a small building set into the side of the rocks.  Our destination seemed to be a very desolate place, as very little vegetation surrounded the area, and I couldn’t see anything close to resembling human involvement except for our goal.

 

As we walked George used a volume level meant only for me, and leaned in close.  “You’re almost completely invisible under there, so don’t say a word or make any sudden moves.  No matter what you hear in there you have to be absolutely silent.  I’ll explain everything later.”

 

When we arrived at the door George took out his wand and made some movements towards the building, causing the door to glow blue for a very brief second.  After knocking George stepped back, and with his hand behind his back motioned for me to get behind him.

 

In a clear voice George said “Defensionis intro absconditis.”

 

The door opened and George stepped inside slowly and stopped inside the doorway, giving me just enough room to slide past and push my back against what I hoped was a wall.  When my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room I saw George take a seat at a table, the only furniture in the entire building, next to Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and another person whose face was covered by the hood of their robe. 

 

“You’re late, George.”  Harry looked over to his brother-in-law, but it wasn’t a kind face.  Harry was entirely businesslike, and to be honest somewhat scary. 

 

“First Hogsmeade weekend for the new shop.  Sorry.  What’s the latest?”

 

“We thought you should hear this, George.”  Ron thumbed towards the hooded person.  “Ok, tell us what you can.”

 

A raspy voice came from the hood, and I couldn’t determine if it was male or female.  “The WLF leadership has decided the time for waiting is over.  They plan on several coordinated strikes in different countries, and they are planning on doing something to Professor Muggle.  They’ve been laying the groundwork in Forthingsgate, so whatever happens the wedding can’t take place there.  They’re also putting together hit squads, small groups of wizards who will attack Muggles and Muggle-friendly witches and wizards.  Their orders are to attack randomly and never report to their superiors, so they’re untraceable.  We also intercepted a cursed item that was meant for the witch who has been assigned to plan the wedding.  It seems there is a leak in the Ministry, and also at Hogwarts.”

 

“Hogwarts?”  Ron looked over to Harry for a minute and then rounded on the hooded figure.  “Explain, Rolf.”

 

“One of our operatives infiltrated an outpost and found the roster for the Muggle Club amongst the papers.  Until the leak can be found in Hogwarts, the school isn’t a safe place for the Professor, or his Muggle Club students.  Even your Auror on the inside won’t be able to protect them all.”

 

It took everything in my power to stand still and not say a word.  Harry and Ron looked over to George and their faces were deadly serious.  For some reason the words from the instructor at the only yoga class I’d ever taken came into my head and I shut down everything but my breathing.  I closed my eyes and did nothing but breathe.  After a few seconds I opened my eyes and saw that George had moved closer to Ron, partially blocking my view.

 

Harry took off his glasses and turned his head to George.  “What’s happening next?”

 

“Well, his parents and his brother are coming over towards the end of the month.  Lavender will be bringing them, so they should arrive without any problems.  We will run into a problem with Colony House, though, as it’s surrounded by Muggles.  Melody’s place isn’t big enough, and I’ve been given orders that since your wives are pregnant your houses are out of the question.  That leaves The Burrow.  Dad’s ok with it, we’ll run it by Mum.”

 

The hooded figure lifted up a hand and pushed back the hood, revealing a man about Harry and Ron’s age with long chestnut hair tied at the back.  The stubble on his face and the weather-beaten appearance of his skin indicated someone who spent large amounts of time outside, but his eyes searched the room. 

 

“George, are you certain that you haven’t been followed?”  His voice was now distinctly male, and before any one could respond he took out his wand.  “ _Homenum revelio_!”

 

I felt a very slight tingle in my toes, but nothing happened.  I focused on my breathing again, this time keeping my eyes locked on the table.

 

George looked at his watch for a moment and then turned to the wizard who held the wand.  “Scamander, you know me better than that, nobody can follow me without my knowledge.  You Invisibles are the most paranoid lot I’ve ever known.”

 

“For good reason.”  Rolf stood up and put his hood back over his head.  Once again the voice was neither male nor female as he said “I can’t stay any longer.  Be careful, my friends.” 

 

After he’d left I stood there, trying to take it all in.  It was bad, all bad.  Very, very bad. 

 

“Fuck me.” 

 

I’d said it quietly, but all eyes turned to me.


	7. Going Green, Christmas Plans and a Prophecy

**Chapter 7:  Going Green, Christmas Plans and a Prophecy**

 

I pulled the fabric off and stood there in front of Ron, George and Harry.  “What the hell was all that about?  I’m not safe at Hogwarts?  The WLF is going to attack me at my wedding?  What the fuck?”

 

Harry stood up suddenly and pointed his wand directly at my face.  “Why was Melody angry at you after your brother’s bachelor party?  Quickly!”

 

“Because I got drunk and fell into Lavender’s boobs.”  _Damn, Harry was intimidating when he was in full-blown Auror mode._   I felt myself lean back against the wall, and only after Harry lowered his wand and Ron began laughing like an idiot did I relax.

 

Ron looked over to Harry.  “Sorry, mate.  Couldn’t help it.  You’ve _got_ to tell me that one.”

 

“I brought him along.  I figured he deserved to know what’s going on.”  George looked over at the Aurors.  “He’s got just about the full kit in that bag, but I’m glad Rolf left when he did.  About five more minutes and it would have been a bit tricky.”

 

 _Five more minutes?_   “Why’s that?”

 

“Because the Anti-Revelio Chew was about to wear off and the TIC was about to expire.  Sorry, Temporary Invisibility Cloak.”

 

“Why’d you give me all this stuff, George?”  I walked over and halfway slammed the bag down on the table, then sat down with a slump.  “It’s damn heavy.”

 

“Didn’t know what to expect.  After all, we might’ve had to put you straightaway into hiding.”  He looked over to Ron.  “He’s got the emergency Auror kit plus some Invisibles gear.  Forgot the food, though.”

 

Ron shook his head, irritated.  “Who cares about food, George?  We need to figure out our next moves.  Harry, Rolf said that Hogwarts isn’t safe, there’s a leak somewhere.  That said, I still think Hank’s safer there than outside the castle.  We can contain The Burrow, but our scope just expanded by about thirty people.  More if you count the wedding.”

 

 _Holy crap, Ron didn’t care about food?  The wedding.  Melody was waiting for me at the Three Broomsticks, probably with Pepper.  Shit.  How long had I been away?_   “George, Mel’s still waiting for me in Hogsmeade.  She’s going to be pissed.”

 

George gave me a look like I was insane.  “Well, maybe if she got into the firewhiskey…oh, one of your Americanisms.  Use your watch.  Tap the face and say a message, she’ll get it through her bracelet.”

 

I tapped the watch face and leaned in closely.  “Mel, I’m with George.  Everything fine, will fill you in later.  Can’t be helped.  Tell Ginny and Hermione to expect company soon.  I think.  Back as soon as I can.  Love you.” 

 

Harry pulled the sleeve of his robe up and looked quickly at his watch.  “Ok, we’ve got a little over an hour or so until Hank has to be back at Hogwarts.  Let’s wrap this up and get moving.  Hank, why did you say that Ron and I would be home soon?  How’d you know that?”

 

“Petal Farnsworth whispered it to me on the way to Hogsmeade today.  She’s the Auror on the inside, right?”

 

“Yeah, that’s right.”  Ron ran his hand over the reddish stubble on his face.  “She’s working with the Aurors in the Ministry, but I’m wondering if she’s in danger as well.  Rolf said there’s a leak in the Ministry…and your students, Hank.  Might not be a good idea to keep having your Muggle Club.  How many kids are on that roster?”

 

“Uh…” _I had to think.  It had been a while since I had done the paperwork_.  “About forty or so.”

 

“Worse than I thought.  That’s going to take a lot of Aurors, Harry.  Even with the trainees we don’t have those kinds of numbers to do that kind of work with all of the other stuff going on.”  Ron took out a piece of parchment and began making notes, eventually shaking head and setting the parchment on fire with his wand.  “Not going to work.  Britain isn’t big enough to have that kind of Auror force.

 

 _Big enough?_   “What about the AAB?  Maybe Lavender could bring some of them over with her.” 

 

Everyone looked at me and Ron sat back, and then nodded his head.  “He’s right.  Harry, you know the Chief over there.  Maybe we could contact him through some unofficial channels.  The UMS is a lot bigger than the UK; with that amount of land to cover they have to have a lot of Aurors.”

 

Ron’s choice of words sparked something else, and I suddenly remembered.  “Petal also said to say something to you about Flurbin’s land acquisitions.  Don’t know what it means, exactly.  Make any sense to you guys?”

 

Harry straightened his glasses and fixed me with a stare.  “Flurbin’s buying land?  Interesting.  Yes, it does mean something, but I don’t want to say anything yet.  Ok, Hank, you need to be going.  You can tell Melody that you met with Ron and me, but that’s it.  Don’t ever mention that you saw Rolf or it wouldn’t go well for all of us.  I’m sorry, but besides that you can’t really tell her anything else, just keep on like we never had this meeting.  Above all, do everything you can to stay at Hogwarts.  It’s our best hope right now.”

 

When George and I arrived back in the alley behind the shop there wasn’t much time left, and I had no idea if Melody had received my message, so I started off towards the Three Broomsticks immediately.  I made it about three steps before my legs completely froze. 

 

“Not funny, George.”

 

When he walked in front of me I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t joking.  “Now I’ll let you free in a minute but first we have to get a few things straight.  One, you can never, and I mean never say a word about Rolf Scamander being at that meeting to anyone, and that includes me, Harry and Ron.  Rolf is one of the Invisibles, and they don’t muck around with secrecy requirements or pesky laws.  If they have to they’ll do you in without a second thought.”

 

“How does he do it, don’t people wonder where he is all the time, I mean…”

 

“Merlin’s pants, questions, questions, you are such an academic.  He’s a crazy creature hunter; he’s all over the world with Luna looking for Nargles and imaginary stuff.  Don’t worry about that, now shut it and listen.  I know you’ve been in some hot water with Flurbin, so stop it right now.  I can’t believe I’m actually telling you this, but you have to play by the rules.  If you get sacked a lot of the protection you have now will be gone, and that won’t be good at all.  And as much as I’m sure everybody likes Muggle Club, you need to stop it now, for the sake of your students. As for all of the other stuff I’ll work on that.  I’ll owl you later and we’ll figure out something.  The only good news I have is that you now have a bag full of toys and that we’ll be spending Christmas together.  There, it wasn’t all bad news, now, was it?’

 

With that he flicked his wand and my legs returned to normal.  “You can blame everything on me; tell Melody it was all my fault.  I think she won’t have any problem believing that.  Now go find her and remember you need to keep a lid on things.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The students had all but cleared out of Hogsmeade by the time I made it to the Three Broomsticks, and luckily for me Melody was still waiting.  She was sitting at a table with Angelina Weasley, and when I finally made it over there I was happy to see she was relieved instead of mad.  I sat down quickly and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

 

“I never thought you’d get here, Hank.  Thank you for the message, though I have to admit it startled me a bit, hearing your voice inside my head like that.  What’s in the bag?”

 

 _The bag?  Oh yeah._   “Um, just some sample stuff from the shop.  George said I needed to get better acquainted with the inventory now.” 

 

Angelina smiled at me.  “Yes, congratulations and welcome to the insanity.  Where did you and George have to go to in such a hurry?  Or do I want to know?”

 

 _Shit shit shit.  Think fast and make it plausible._   “Um, emergency meeting with a supplier on one of my ideas for adapting Muggle stuff.  Can’t say anything else, top secret.”  Angelina looked at me and I was pretty sure she didn’t believe me, but I continued on like it was the absolute truth.  “Do you think the WUMP will be a success, Angelina?”

 

“Yes, I think so.  I also think I’ll leave you two alone and see exactly what Mr. Weasley is up to.  Melody, I’ll owl you later.  Bye, Hank.”

 

I waited until Angelina had left to look at my fiancée, and Melody’s face didn’t hide much, as I could tell she was worried.  I got up and held out my hand.  “Come on, I’ll fill you in on the way up to Hogwarts.”

 

I made sure that we were out of earshot of anyone to give Melody the update, and I really hoped that I wouldn’t let anything slip.  “Sorry about that, it was totally unplanned.  George said to tell you it was his fault we left in such a hurry.  I did see Harry and Ron, but I really can’t say much more than that.  They made me promise.”

 

“Well, I’m glad to know they’re ok, but you really had me worried.  Hank, is it starting again?” 

 

She looked up to me and it was one of the few times I really noticed how young she was compared to me, as the tone in her voice reminded me of a very frightened girl.  “I don’t know, Mel.  I think that’s what Harry and Ron have been doing; trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

“And why did you have to go?”

 

“I can’t really say.”

 

She stopped, and I took a few steps before turning around.  “Mel?”

 

“Can’t or won’t say?”

 

“I can’t.  I’m sorry, but I really can’t. 

 

She shook her head slowly from side to side, and I could tell a fight was brewing.  “I don’t like secrets.  And I told you before; I don’t want us to have secrets.  That’s not a good way to start a marriage.”

 

“You didn’t tell me about the _Witch Weekly_ job.”  _Shit.  The second it was out of my mouth I regretted it instantly.  Why the hell did I say that?_

 

“That’s not fair, Hank.  I only found out yesterday.  Maybe I’ll have to change the column to ‘I Almost Married a Muggle.’  Think about that for a while.” 

 

Before I could say anything she turned and apparated away.  _Fuck._

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

By Sunday afternoon I had gone from mad to irritated at myself for acting like a teenage boy to mad to sad to regretful to depressed and finally ended up at somewhere around the corner of moping and depressed.  Calliope had returned without a note several times, and I even attempted to use the watch to send Melody a message, but nothing happened.  I didn’t know how to use the Floo to contact her, I couldn’t talk to Neville or anyone else, and I was stuck at Hogwarts trying to figure out a way to make things better.  As the moon began to rise I sent Calliope off with one last note, determined that it would be the last one I would send that night. 

 

I thought that sending the last note would ease my mind, but it didn’t.  Nothing worked, so I gave up and did the only thing I could; I cleaned.  I reorganized my bookshelf, put away all of my clothes, hell, I even dusted.  While sorting through loose parchment on my desk I ran across the Muggle Club charter, which made me depressed for two reasons.  One, I remembered that I had to stop Muggle Club; and two, I realized that I hadn’t turned the charter into Flurbin, just the roster.  Great.  Just one more screw-up. 

 

Thinking of that made me remember George’s bag of toys, and I decided having them in my room probably wasn’t the best thing, so I went down and put them in the storage cupboard of my classroom.  If Flurbin decided to visit me in my room the last thing I needed was him seeing all the banned items.  Plus, the walk down and back blew some time.

 

I was in the middle of organizing my Granddad’s pipes when I heard something against my window.  When I saw it was an owl I went to the window as fast as possible and opened it, but my heart fell when it wasn’t Calliope.  I took the note from the owl and sat down at my desk, wondering who the note was from.  The owl flew off through the open window and I didn’t even bother to get up and close the window to the cold night air, I just unrolled the note as quickly as possible.

 

_Hank,_

_I thought I would drop you a quick line and let you know that Melody stopped by earlier today.  Please don’t tell her that I wrote you, but we talked for quite a long time.  I tried to explain that if you were meeting with Ron, Harry and George, and that they told you not to say anything that she couldn’t be mad at you.  I know that whatever happened, if Ron said not to say anything you did the right thing.  I told her that it’s hard to be married to an Auror, as there are a lot of things that I don’t know, and that it’s taken me a long time to learn not to ask._

_You need to realize that she’s very scared right now, and she’s very worried that something will happen to you.  I know one of the reasons she took the Witch Weekly job was so she could be closer to home, as she worried about you when she was travelling.  Ron’s told me a few things and I do hope everything will be better soon._

_Ginny and everybody else would probably tell me that I’m meddling again, but I had a feeling that you would probably be stewing up in your room at Hogwarts, smoking one of those awful pipes and feeling very low.  Give Melody some time and I think things will be better._

_Of course if you ever say anything about this letter I’ll deny it.  Don’t worry; things will work out in the end._

_Your friend,_

_Hermione_

 

I reminded myself to do something incredibly nice for Hermione Weasley, as her note made me feel so much better than earlier.  I sat on the bed and fell back into my pillows.  How did my life become so crazy? 

 

I must have been tired; not sleeping more than a few hours at a time the night before couldn’t have helped, so I don’t know how long I was asleep when I felt something on my stomach.  In the dim light of my room I raised my head and was immediately startled to see two very dark eyes looking at me from a white, flat face.  Calliope.  I held out my arm and she gently sidestepped her way up towards my elbow, and with my free hand I loosened the tie on the note.

 

_My dearest Hank,_

_I am so sorry for everything.  I had a talk with Hermione and I think I understand things better now.  I’m sorry for flying off the handle, but honestly I was so scared.  Before I left Ron stopped me and told me to be very understanding, as things were going to be hard for you.  He wouldn’t say much more than that, but I think I understand.  I just got your message from the bracelet, as I was so mad at you that I took it off when I got home, and I promise I won’t do that anymore._

_I should have told you about Witch Weekly, but I wanted to surprise you at Hogsmeade.  I’ll be able to be home a lot more than if I was with the Harpies, and I thought you would be happy about that.  I still hope you will be.  You’ll read every column of ‘I’m Marrying a Muggle’ before it goes to press._

_Your letters were wonderful.  I will always keep them to remind me how lucky I am.  I’ll count the days until the Christmas holiday._

_Love,_

_Your Melody_

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

On Monday morning I woke up slowly, as the enchanted alarm clock went off several times before I could actually make it out of bed.  Nonky arrived with a cup of tea as usual, but for some reason I just couldn’t shake the cobwebs out of my head.  Even a hot shower did nothing to change my condition.  I dressed as usual and headed down to breakfast, hoping that food would help.

 

Neville sat down next to me at breakfast, like almost every day, but this time I wasn’t as talkative.  I tried eating, but nothing tasted good.  I was on my second cup of tea when Neville looked over and shook his head.

 

“Hank, are you ill?  You look kind of green.”

 

“I don’t feel very good, Neville.  It’s like my head is about to explode.  Probably just a cold.”

 

“No, Hank.  You literally look green.  I think you better stop up and see Madame Pomfrey before going to class.  I’ll tell Flurbin.”

 

“Thanks, Nev.  I think I will.”  It took almost all of my energy to get out of my seat, and then I was fairly unsteady as my head began to swim.  “Yeah, I’m gonna go up there now.”

 

Neville stood up and took my arm.  “Let’s just head back to your room.  I’ll have one of the house elves go tell Poppy she’s needed.”

 

An hour later I was in bed, covered with quilts and blankets.  A thick, gooey brown substance was smeared all over my chest and a large plant with drooping yellow leaves sat on my bedside table.  When I heard the knock on my door I sort of mumbled, and soon Cho Chang was sitting by my bed.

 

“I’m sorry you’re ill, Hank.”  She sat back suddenly.  “You aren’t contagious, are you?’

 

I sat up weakly.  “No, I’m not.  From what Madame Pomfrey said you’ve had what I’ve got, but you had it when you were little.  It’s a Wizarding cold, worse than the Muggle cold, and I’ve got it bad because I was never exposed to it as a kid.  Lasts a couple of days for kids, but it’ll take about a week to get out of my system.  Until then all I can do is sleep and rest.”  My voice sounded deeper than usual, and it felt like I was talking with a mouthful of peanut butter.  “Does Flurbin know?”

 

“I think Poppy was on her way to tell him when I ran into her in the hallway.  Don’t worry about your classes, we’ll find a way to take care of them for you.  Would you like me to send a note to Melody?” 

 

“Thanks, that’d be great.  Tell Neville thank you for everything.”

 

Cho stood up and gave me a sympathetic smile.  “No trouble at all, Hank.  Now just rest and don’t worry about anything.”  She glanced over at the plant.  “What’s that?”

 

“Neville brought it in.  He told me the name but I can’t remember; it’s supposed to help with congestion or something.”

 

“Well, he would know.  I have to go now, but we’ll check in on you ever so often.  Get some sleep.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I definitely followed Cho’s advice as the next time I woke up it was night, and there were several notes on my nightstand.  I opened the one that was floating and said ‘Read Me First’ in large, red letters; it was from Madame Pomfrey and detailed my instructions for getting better.  Neville had left me a note that said he and Cho had tried to talk Flurbin into letting them cover my classes, but the Headmaster had decided to teach the class personally.  I don’t think I could have received any worse news, as my lesson plans weren’t up to date and I really wasn’t teaching out of the textbook.  Too late to worry about that now.  Melody’s note was quite nice; she wished she could take care of me but knew that I would be in the best hands with Madame Pomfrey.  She mentioned that Molly Weasley had stopped by and had offered to have everyone stay at The Burrow for Christmas, as we wouldn’t have enough room in Stintborough or Melody’s house for all of my family.  I would have to thank Molly and Arthur later.  The last note was actually a Get Well card from my students in Muggle Club.  I was glad to see it, but more than anything I felt relieved.  My illness was a perfect excuse to not hold the next Muggle Club meeting.

 

I got out of bed for a moment and went to my bookshelf to find something to read, and out of the corner of my eye I saw my WUMP.  I picked it up, and with a copy of _The History of Magic_ under my arm I had almost made it back to bed when Nonky arrived with a small crack.

 

“Professor Muggle, you should be back in bed, you should.”

 

“That’s where I’m headed, Nonky.  Don’t worry.”

 

Before I could take another step he was over at my bed, pulling down the covers and fluffing up my pillows.  “Madame Pomfrey said Professor Muggle should rest and get better, and Nonky will make sure.”

 

“Ok, ok, I’m getting in bed.”  I settled in and watched Nonky look around the room.  “Nonky, how come you’re the only house elf who helps take care of me?  Does every professor have their own house elf?”

 

“Oh no, Professor, Nonky is a special case, very special.  Nonky got a special assignment last year, and Nonky does his job.”

 

“You definitely do that.  Thank you very much for all of your help.  Don’t worry, I’m going to read for a bit and then I’ll go back to sleep.”

 

The house elf nodded his big head, causing his ears to flop slightly.  “Just call Nonky when you need him.  Feel better, Professor Muggle.”

 

After Nonky apparated away I took out the WUMP and put on the headphones.  I wasn’t in the mood for anything too exciting, so I told the WUMP “random light music” and was surprised to hear light classical music.  I’d have to thank George for that later.  I cracked open _The_ _History of Magic_ and found the section that covered the time during World War 2 and began reading.  If I had to be confined to my room, the least I could do was try and get a leg up on my lessons.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The rest of the week went slowly, and the only diversion I had from sleep and reading were the occasional owls I would receive.  Melody wrote me often, letting me know she and Molly were handling all of the Christmas visit preparations and telling me not to worry about anything, but mostly ordering me to stay in bed and listen to Madame Pomfrey.  George owled me in the middle of the week to say that WUMP production was at full speed and that sales were very, very good.  As we were going to be at The Burrow for Christmas I agreed to let George take my TV for research, but only after he promised to return it or buy me a new one if he managed to destroy it somehow.

 

The best news I had during my illness was that Gavin Titus, the Transfiguration instructor, was handling my duties as Head of House for Hufflepuff.  Titus and weren’t close friends, but I had enjoyed the few times we had talked.  He seemed a very decent person, was very sympathetic about the changes in Muggle Studies, and more than anything reminded me of my Granddad.  I felt very confident that my Hufflepuffs were in good hands.

 

By Friday morning I felt much better, and after a shower and a shave I got dressed, as I planned to go down to breakfast.  After opening my door and trying to walk out, though, I was stopped by an invisible wall, and I heard Madame Pomfrey’s voice say “Back in bed!” 

 

 _Crap.  How the hell was I going to get through that?_   If I couldn’t get out, I knew one person who could get in.  “Nonky?  Can you come here for a minute?”

 

I heard a familiar crack and Nonky stood in front of me.  As soon as he saw me dressed and out of bed he looked happy, then quite upset.

 

“Professor Muggle must be in bed, he must.  Madame Pomfrey won’t be happy.  No, not happy.”

 

“That’s why I called you, Nonky.  Could you tell her that I think I’m ready to leave my room now?”

 

After being declared healthy, Madame Pomfrey made me promise to take things very easy but cleared me to resume teaching on Monday, leaving me the weekend to regain my strength.  I made my way down to breakfast and was greeted kindly by several students and most of the Hufflepuffs before finally arriving at the professor’s table.  Calliope had just delivered _The Prophet_ when Neville sat down next to me as usual.

 

“Looks like the plant helped.  You’re not green anymore.”  He gave me his usual goofy grin and looked over at the Hufflepuff table.  “Titus did a nice job, but I think your House missed you quite a bit.”

 

Before I could answer Headmaster Flurbin stood in front of me, arms clasped behind his back.  “Madame Pomfrey has informed me that you will be able to resume your duties on Monday.  I will leave a detailed report of student progress and my observations on your desk.  You are to follow my instructions exactly.  Good day.”

 

After he walked away I looked over to Neville.  “Well that was enlightening.  I can’t wait to read his ‘observations’ about my class.”

 

Neville looked down the table towards Flurbin, and after he was sure that the Headmaster was busy talking to Filch he leaned over and shook his head.  “Your students can’t wait for you to be back.  Sawgrass told me in Herbology that Flurbin makes Professor Binns seem like George Weasley.”

 

“Wow, that bad?” 

 

“That’s what I’ve heard.  I don’t know if he’d ever been in front of a class before your illness, so I’m sure it was dreadful.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

While walking back to my room I heard my name being called and stopped to see two students who I wouldn’t usually put together, Poesy Phillips and Lavinia Ryder.  The older Ravenclaw girl towered over the petite Hufflepuff, but they both had very determined faces when they approached.  As usual, Poesy was the spokesperson.

 

“Professor Muggle, you have to make the Headmaster change his mind!”  She looked to Lavinia, who nodded vigorously.

 

“Change his mind on what, Phillips?”

 

“Muggle Club.  He said that we couldn’t have it anymore since the paperwork wasn’t filed right and that it was a waste of our time!”

 

I looked at their faces, and realized that they were quite upset.  “It’s the first I’ve heard of this, but if the Headmaster isn’t going to allow Muggle Club I’m afraid there’s not much I can do about it.  He is the Headmaster, you know.” 

 

“We were going to have a Christmas party, too.  Now we can’t even do that!”  Lavinia crossed her arms and shook her head.  “It’s not fair, Professor.”

 

“Unfortunately many things in life aren’t fair, Ryder.  I’ll try to talk to the Headmaster after the Christmas holiday, but I can’t promise anything.  Now you two should be heading to class right now, am I right?”  I watched the two girls look at each other and sigh.  “There’s less than a week left before Christmas, so concentrate on your classes.  It’ll go faster than you think.”

 

As they headed to class I felt sorry for them, but actually relieved.  Now I wouldn’t have to stop Muggle Club, as Flurbin had done it for me.  Yes, my students were disappointed but George and the Aurors would be happy.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I spent the rest of the day trading owls with George Weasley because, as I feared, he managed to destroy my TV.  The only good news in our exchanges was that the WUMP was wildly successful and he had completed, with Angelina’s help, my Christmas shopping requests.  One of the good things about not being able to leave Hogwarts was that I could have others do my shopping.  The risky part was that George had insisted on helping due to the fact that he demanded earlier that I remain at Hogwarts as long as possible.  I was able to convince him to let Angelina do the shopping for Melody, so I was reasonably secure in the fact that her present wouldn’t explode or turn her feet into tentacles.

 

My parents, brothers and new sister-in-law were expected to arrive in Britain on Saturday, and despite Flurbin’s grumblings I had been cleared to leave the castle to pick them up at the airport along with an Auror escort.  I was sure that Flurbin didn’t want that to happen, but when the Ministry representative met with him to discuss the particulars there wasn’t much he could do.  After all, was Flurbin going to tell Harry Potter that the authorization from Kingsley Shacklebolt wasn’t good enough?  It felt weird to think that in less than twenty-four hours most of my family would be in the Wizarding world, and sitting down to tea with everybody at The Burrow was definitely going to be an experience. 

 

Melody owled me that she was already at The Burrow, and that she and Molly had everything ready, so I really had nothing to do the rest of the day.  I spent some time reading, but nothing seemed to take my mind off of the upcoming holiday visit by my Muggle family.  Christmas Day would be wonderful, but it was the next day that I was really worried about, as Boxing Day would be the first time my family would meet Lane Bramble.  I hoped that Melody had prepared her for everything, but beyond that I kept thinking about what Rolf Scamander had said at the meeting I never officially attended, that the WLF were making ‘preparations’ at Forthingsgate.  Boxing Day would be one of the only times I really hoped I had Auror shadows.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I woke up very early on Saturday morning, hours before the alarm clock’s setting, so I busied myself with cleaning my room.  Hopefully the state of my Hogwarts living area would make both Nonky and Melody happy, and I wasn’t sure if my family would be able to visit but I wasn’t going to take a chance.  I spent the rest of the remaining hours fiddling with the WUMP to distract myself, and had almost succeeded when I heard a knock on the door.  My watch and the alarm clock showed me that it was an hour earlier than the time I was supposed to leave with Harry, so I instantly became nervous. 

 

After letting Harry in the door I noticed immediately that he was dressed like an Auror, not a Muggle.  “Are they ok?  Is something wrong?”

 

Harry nodded and put his hand on my shoulder.  “They’re fine, Hank.  The Muggle airline is having a problem, something mechanically wrong with the plane.  The AAB checked it out and there’s nothing suspicious, just normal Muggle problems.  They’re booked on the next available flight, but the bad news is that they won’t get here until Monday afternoon.  Part of the agreement with Flurbin was that you’re not to miss any classes, so you’re not going to be able to go with us to pick them up.  I’m sorry, Hank.”

 

“Well, shit.  Now what?”

 

“We’ve made some last minute arrangements.  Melody and Hermione are going to meet them at the airport.  We tried to see if Hermione’s parents could go, but they had too many appointments scheduled at their dental practice.  Your family will take a couple of taxis over to my house and go to The Burrow from there.  Don’t worry, Hank.  We’ll take good care of them.  Christmas Holiday starts on Wednesday after classes, so it won’t be too long.”

 

“I guess there’s nothing I can do, is there?”  I threw my coat on my bed and sat on the edge of my desk, reached into the drawer and pulled out a pipe.  After I packed and lit it, I felt somewhat better, but still nervous.  “Will you let me know when they get to The Burrow, Harry?”

 

“Certainly, we’ll have someone contact you.  Don’t worry, Hank.  They’ve got one of the top priorities in the Auror department, it’ll be fine.  I need to go now, but I think we’ll have some time to talk about everything later on.  I’m glad you’re feeling better, by the way.”

 

“Thanks, Harry.  Speaking of not feeling the best, how’s Ginny doing?  James must be make things interesting.”

 

“She’s doing quite well, actually.  James is finally sleeping through the night, so that helps.  I can’t believe how much he grew when I was away.  Ok, I really do have to go now.  Take care, Hank.”

 

 _Dammit_ , I was really looking forward to meeting my family at the airport.  At least Hermione would be there; her experience dealing with introducing the Wizarding world to her parents would be very helpful.  I looked around my room, trying to figure out what I could do that would take up all of the free time I now had in my weekend, and unfortunately I didn’t see a damn thing that would take longer than an hour at most. 

 

I gave up trying to find something to distract me in my room and headed down to my classroom, hoping and dreading that Flurbin had left his report.  After entering my classroom I was relieved and disappointed, as no report was on my desk.  Nothing seemed any different except…the walls were bare.  I’d put several maps on the walls and some of the military recruiting posters from both England and the United States, but they were nowhere to be seen.  I started looking through my cupboards but didn’t see anything, as they were empty.

 

 _Oh no.  Shit shit shit._   Everything was empty.  Everything, including my World War 2 research, my books and most importantly the bag full of contraband Weasley items.  I.  Am.  Screwed.

 

I began pacing in my classroom, trying to figure out an excuse for why I had all of George’s products in my classroom.  Maybe I could say that I’d confiscated all of those items from my students, but that really wouldn’t work as they’d be in trouble, and I couldn’t do that to my Muggle Studies classes.  They’d been great students so far, actively participating in discussions and turning in well-thought out parchments.  Flurbin would obviously punish them and they’d have an entry in their permanent records, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put the blame on them. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I walked out of my classroom in a daze, not really noticing anything.  Somehow I ended up in the library and sat down at the first available table.  Since it was Saturday morning no students were in the library, and I had the entire place to myself as I sat with my head in my hands for Merlin knows how long. 

 

“Professor Boyd?  Are you feeling well?”

 

I looked up to see Sybill Trelawney standing above me in her usual crazy clothes and giant glasses that gave her the appearance of a bug that had fallen into a thrift store.  “I’m fine, Sybill, just a bit of a headache.”

 

She sat down across from me.  “Perhaps you should see Madame Pomfrey; it could be the first signs of a relapse.”

 

 _Great, just what I needed.  Leave it to Sybill to make something seem worse._   “I don’t think it’s a relapse, just a headache.”

 

Suddenly Sybill’s hand shot forward and grabbed my arm, and the strength of her grip shocked me.  I looked at her in confusion, and her eyes almost seemed to roll back into her head.

 

**_“Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd.  Great changes are in your future.  A child dear to you will experience great loss, but you will be there in the time of need.  You will come to love each House at Hogwarts during your many days in its halls.  Your oldest child will bind you close to those that care about you.”_ **

 

As quickly as Sybill had grabbed my arm she released it and fell back into her chair, face slumped forward.  I shook her, trying to bring her back to tell me what the hell had happened.  Without warning she straightened up, blinked at me and straightened her glasses. 

 

“It could be a relapse.  I hope you feel better, Professor Boyd.”

 

Her voice had returned to normal and it seemed as if she had no idea that she’d gone into a weird, trance-like state.  _Holy shit._

“Thank you, Sybill.”  My voice quavered a bit when I replied, as my nerves were now completely on end.

 

She left the library and I sat there trying to remember exactly what she’d said.  A child dear to me, something bad would happen, but I’d be able to help…what could that mean?  I will love each of the Houses?  And my oldest child?  Oldest meant more than one…I would have at least two kids?  And what about the many days at Hogwarts…how many days did she mean?  The rest of the year?  Until the Christmas holiday?  Years?  And the part about binding…what was that all about?  Merlin’s socks, pants and underwear, what was she telling me?

 


	8. Muggles at The Burrow

**Chapter 8:  Muggles at The Burrow**

 

 

 _Neville…where the hell was Neville?_   He wasn’t in his room, and he wasn’t in the Great Hall, leaving only one other place.  I ran back up to my room, threw on a coat and my long, blue scarf and headed out to the greenhouse.  The weather was awful, cold and beginning to spit something that resembled snow.  I’d forgotten my hat, making my bald spot cold as hell, something I knew Madame Pomfrey would frown upon.  After struggling against the wind I finally made it down to the greenhouse and banged loudly on the door.

 

“Neville!  Are you in there?  Open up, it’s Hank.”

 

A few seconds later Neville was at the door, wearing a slick, green apron and gloves that went up to his armpits.  “Why are you still here, Hank?  Aren’t you supposed to be with your parents?  Hurry and get in, it’s horrible outside.”

 

I got in as quickly as I could and shut the door a little too hard as I faintly heard some noises that couldn’t be good.  “Sorry about that, Nev.  My parents’ flight got delayed, they’re coming in on Monday, but that’s not why I’m here.  Do Sybill’s prophecies ever come true?  Do they?  I really need to know, Nev.  Do they?”

 

“Merlin’s pants, Hank, calm down.  I guess so, sometimes.  The one she had about Harry came true, but she also told Ron that he’d become Minister of Magic.  Why, did she say something?”

 

I spent the next half hour going over with Neville what Sybill had said, repeating it over and over.  We tried to analyze each statement but except for the ‘many days at Hogwarts’ bit we were in the dark.

 

“Look at it this way, Hank.  If it is true, you don’t have to worry about Flurbin sacking you.  Many days and all that.”

 

I almost said something about George’s bag of toys, but I remembered that I couldn’t even discuss it with my best friend.  I did tell him about my missing class materials and posters, and we both agreed that Monday was not going to be a fun day.  Neville was convinced that Flurbin would find some reason to keep him on suspension even though the time was up after the Christmas holiday, and I told Neville that next to me he looked like a saint. 

 

“So Neville, now that the general craziness that is my life is out of the way, how are you and Hannah doing?”

 

“Really good, Hank.  We’re spending the holidays with Gran.  Hannah’s even taking a few days away from the Leaky.”

 

“Sounds good.  I’m happy for you.”

 

“Thanks, Hank.  I’m glad things are better with you and Melody.  Try not to smoke your pipe too much before you go on holiday, you know how much she doesn’t like the smell.” 

 

There it was, Neville’s goofy smile.  “I’ll remember that.  I’ll let you get back to working on whatever plant that makes you wear those gloves.  Try to stay in one piece.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Sunday started ok, but after eating some breakfast I was scared that Sybill’s theory on relapse was a reality, as I was very tired and groggy.  I decided it was because I wasn’t at full-strength yet and Saturday had been somewhat exciting.  All right, it was definitely exciting in a rollercoaster type of way.  Talk about highs and lows. 

 

I woke from a nap that lasted most of the day and found a tray on my desk, obvious evidence that Nonky wasn’t going to let me get sick again.  As I made my way through supper I took time to read _The Prophet_ all the way through, but for the most part there was nothing interesting.  George had pulled out all the stops on the WUMP, though, taking out a full-page advertisement complete with testimonials from the Weird Sisters.  The ad reminded me that I needed to hit George up for another TV; at least I’d be able to guilt him into that over Christmas. 

 

Christmas, I was looking forward to the holidays for so many reasons, and I only had to make it through until Wednesday afternoon when I’d have an Auror escort over to The Burrow.  Hopefully my family wouldn’t be completely freaked out after spending three days in the Wizarding world. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Even though I knew Madame Pomfrey wouldn’t approve, early on Monday morning I skipped breakfast and went down to my classroom.  Nonky must have figured out that I wasn’t at breakfast as he was waiting by my desk with a cup of tea and a muffin.  After thanking him I sat down and picked up the rather large envelope on my desk; Flurbin was true to his word.  I opened it up and began reading, and it was exactly as I expected. 

 

My lesson plan wasn’t up-to-date, I wasn’t using the textbook correctly, my use of non-Ministry approved curriculum and materials was dangerous and my students were ill-behaved.  The last part irritated me the most, as my students were most definitely well-behaved compared to the previous year.  His objection to their behavior was that they openly questioned his lectures, something that I had encouraged in the true spirit of education and to foster critical thinking.  Muggle Club had been shut down permanently, and because I hadn’t turned in the charter after the first meeting he called our club an “illegal student organization.” 

 

 _Son of a bitch.  So much for not getting on Flurbin’s bad side_.  I flipped over to the next page to see that I was now scheduled to meet with him in the Headmaster’s office in the morning on January second, the first day back from the holidays.  _Fucking hell_.  So much for having an enjoyable holiday, now I’d have to talk about how wonderful Hogwarts was with my family, knowing full well that the minute I returned I’d probably be fired.  _Dammit dammit dammit_.  I’d have to tell Harry and Ron, and of course I’d have to tell Melody.  After the Hogsmeade fight there was no way I was going to try and keep the whole Flurbin mess a secret. 

 

Sybill’s prophecy popped into my head, but I chalked it up to one of the misses.  The way it looked the only way I’d be teaching at Hogwarts next year was if Ron really did become Minister of Magic.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I was reading over the “report” for a third time when Lavinia Ryder came running into my office, WUMP headphones on her head, waving something at me.

 

“PROFESSOR, MELODY’S IN WITCH WEEKLY!”

 

I laughed and gave Lavinia the ‘take off your headphones’ gesture, which she did as she bounded up to my desk. 

 

“Ryder, you need to take those off before you talk to someone, or at least pause it.  Did you know you were almost shouting at me?”

 

“I’m sorry, Professor Muggle.  I just got a copy of _Witch Weekly_ , look Melody’s got an article in here, and it’s about you!”  She flipped open the magazine, and after finding the page she handed it to me.  “I read it really fast, but it’s good.”

 

A picture of Melody smiled at me next to the text “So I’m Marrying a (Mostly) Muggle.”  I looked closer at the picture and realized she was wearing the sweater that Molly Weasley had given me last Christmas, which made me feel better.  I took it as a sign that she would always remember to think about me before she published…wait, she said that she’d run everything past me before she went to press…oh boy.

 

I started scanning the column and was relieved.  Most of the piece just went over about how things were different for her when we started dating, things I’d covered briefly in _My Wand is Useless,_ but from her perspective.  There were some generalizations about men that I thought were universal, but I guessed that they were specific to Muggles.  All-in-all, it was a nice article and ended well, as she said that she was proof that Muggles and witches were definitely compatible; after all, she had a beautiful ring on her left hand.

 

I looked up to see Lavinia smiling so hard I thought her face might crack.  “Since when do you subscribe to _Witch Weekly,_ Ryder?”

 

“I don’t!  Well, I don’t think so.  Melody sent it to me with a note to show you.  So what did you think?  I think it’s sweet.”

 

“Yes, Lavinia, it’s very sweet.  Tell Melody that I said so when you write her back, because I know you will, am I right?”  Of course I knew I was right as Melody had told me about the volume of letters that she received from Lavinia.  Melody had started to tell me about the letters once but I stopped her, as I really didn’t want to know.  After all, Lavinia was one of my Muggle Studies students, was in Muggle Club and a Hufflepuff.  One out of the three now, though.  Still, I didn’t want to know.

 

“Oh yes, Professor.  I’ll tell her.  I’ve got to go to Herbology now.  Bye!”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

My fifth year students began filing into class, and after the initial happy shock of seeing me at my desk they began peppering me with questions.  All of them were around my desk, talking over one another, finally causing me to stand up and wave them towards their seats.

 

“I can’t answer your questions if you all talk at the same time.  Now sit down and I’ll clear everything up, ok?” 

 

That seemed to go over fairly well, as eventually they all sat down.  I knew they weren’t going to like what I had to say, but I really didn’t have much choice.

 

“I am sorry that I was unable to teach last week, as I was ill.  You can put your hand down, Ruby, I’m quite all right now, and it was some sort of Wizarding cold that I’m sure all of you had when you were quite little.  Since I got it in my old age it hit me pretty hard.  Now that you know I’m not going to keel over in the middle of class, I think I should explain a few things.  Headmaster Flurbin left me a report, and he’s not very impressed with any of us.”

 

“No kidding.”  Peter Sawgrass nodded his head, and then looked over his shoulder.  “I mean, Flurbin even yelled at Franny, and she never says anything.”

 

Now that got my attention.  Franny Ellsworth, one of my Hufflepuff students, was the quietest kid I’d ever had in any class at any level.  “Why on earth…Franny, what happened?”  _Dammit.  Take it out on me, but don’t take it out on the kids_ , _Flurbin_. 

 

“She just shook her head yes when he asked us if we thought you were a good teacher.”  Sawgrass smiled at Franny, who blushed slightly.  “Then he went off for the rest of class, walking around and taking down your posters.  He shoved everything into one of the cupboards, and then he acted like he was really happy about something.”

 

_Shit.  That just proved it; Flurbin had my bag of Weasley toys._

 

“I think he’s mental.”  Everyone laughed at Carrick Frye, but his face remained serious.  “I’m not kidding, I really think he’s crackers.”

 

“Well, Mr. Frye, I’m not going to comment on your opinion, but I would suggest not saying that to any of your other professors.  Look, I know you don’t like the way Muggle Studies was taught last week, and to be honest I don’t either, but there’s really nothing we can do about it.  He is the Headmaster, and if he wants Muggle Studies taught a certain way, or to discontinue Muggle Club, I have to do what he says.  He’s my boss.” 

 

Ruby Smythe-Warring slumped at her table and mumbled something that I couldn’t hear.  “What was that, Ruby?

 

“I said I wish Professor Longbottom was Headmaster again this year.”

 

Even though I wholeheartedly agreed I had to cut that off quickly.  “Well, he’s not, so we have to go by the rules.  What were you studying on Friday, we’ll pick up from there today.  Anyone?”

 

“Traffic signals.”  Sawgrass looked at me; with his hand made the international sarcastic gesture for “whoop-te-do” and accompanied it with the classic “just shoot me now” face. 

 

After finishing the lesson on traffic signals I didn’t know if any of us could possibly be more bored.  Traffic signals were something that I covered when I taught first year Muggle Studies.  The sixth year class was studying the social and cultural causes of World War 2 when I fell ill, and traffic signals…traffic signals was the assigned topic for the day?  As class ended I turned to my now filled-in lesson plan but was interrupted by…every single one of my students.

 

“Class is over; you don’t want to be late for your next one.” 

 

“But what about our Muggle Club Christmas party?” 

 

I looked up and almost said a bad word in surprise, as it was Franny that had asked me the question.  The whole time she’d been in my class she’d said maybe fifty words.  “I’m sorry, Franny, but since there’s no Muggle Club there can’t be a Christmas party.  I am sorry.  Maybe next year.”

 

As they filed out I knew I shouldn’t have said that.  Next year.  Who knew if there would even be Muggle Studies at Hogwarts next year?

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The same scenario played itself our for the rest of my classes, informing them that we were sticking to Flurbin’s lesson plan and curriculum and that Muggle Club was discontinued.  I’d made it through fairly well until in my seventh year class Daisy Fawltkip, one of the two Ravenclaws in that class, informed me that Flurbin said we didn’t have to cover mobile phones because they didn’t exist.  As Daisy and Kitty Dorrington were the only seventh year students taking Muggle Studies I’d got to know them quite well, so I didn’t feel bad when I went off on a mini-rant about antiquated ideas concerning Muggles in the official textbook. 

 

By the time I’d made it back up to my room I was hot.  I knew I shouldn’t be that mad if I wanted to retain any hope in saving my job, but I couldn’t help it.  Mobile phones didn’t exist?  Well, Flurbin was right; they didn’t exist over fifty years ago.  The official textbook belonged in a museum, not a classroom.

 

I called for Nonky somewhat forcefully, so when he arrived he looked nervous.  After calming him down and requesting supper in my room I went to my desk and pulled out a pipe.  After I lit the pipe the smoke began to curl towards the ceiling then dissipate, and I thought it was an appropriate symbol for my Hogwarts teaching career.  How the hell could Flurbin do that to my students?  They were all very smart kids; they got it, they asked questions, wrote decent papers and above all were gaining skills and insights that would allow them to blend into the Muggle world.  Wasn’t that the whole goal of the class?

 

“Hank?”

 

“What?”  I turned around and saw green flames in my fireplace, but instead of Melody it was Hermione.  “I’m sorry, Hermione.  Very bad day.”

 

“Obviously.  I just wanted to tell you that your family is here at The Burrow.  If you don’t want…”

 

I walked over closer to the fireplace and knelt down.  “No, thank you very much.  That’s a big relief.  I’m sorry I snapped at you and I’ll fill you in later.  How’s everybody doing?”

 

“Quite well.  Molly and your Mum are in the kitchen, so expect to gain a few pounds.  Arthur, your father and your brothers are out in the shed, and Melody and your sister-in-law are visiting.  What?  Yes, I’m quite aware that you’re here too, Lavender.  We _very_ much appreciate your assistance.”

 

 _Oooh.  Christmas was going to be fun_.  “Seriously, Hermione, thank you very much for going to the airport with Melody.  I really do appreciate it.”

 

“I’m glad to help, Hank.  Just remember that you only have a couple of days left before holiday, so try not to get into too much trouble.”

 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

To be honest I really don’t remember much of Tuesday.  I know that I taught ancient lessons from an outdated textbook, my students acted like they were half-asleep, and the only thing that kept me awake was having to actually reprimand a few of my students for whispering to each other in my class.  Besides that I know I ate something, probably had too many cups of tea and smoked the rest of my pipe tobacco.  I barely talked to anyone outside of class and I convinced Madame Pomfrey that I needed a sleeping draught because my sleep schedule was still out of whack from being ill.  The only goal was to make it to Wednesday afternoon.

 

Neville joined me for breakfast in my room on Wednesday morning, and we were both acting like we were students, as we were figuring out how long it would be until we could leave.  The consensus was that as soon as the students left to board the Hogwarts Express we were free to go, but neither of us wanted to get confirmation from Flurbin.  The less we were around the man, the better.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I knew something had happened the moment I walked into my classroom, as the fifth years were not sitting in their normal places.  Peter Sawgrass was sitting very close to Franny Ellsworth, and Ruby Smythe-Warring was as far away from Carrick Frye as should could be and still be in the same room.  As I put my textbook down on the desk I noticed that almost everyone was trying to get Liv Wapping’s attention, but the Ravenclaw girl was pointedly ignoring them.  Liv continued to look straight ahead towards my desk, only breaking her concentration to re-smooth her small ponytail.  I pretended not to notice and started my normal routine of preparing my desk for class, but eventually it must have been too much for Liv, as she stood up and turned around to face her classmates.

 

“He needs to know!  He could get in trouble.  Would you lot like that?”

 

“Liv?  Um, sit down, please.  Now everybody else shut your mouths.  Liv, why don’t you fill me in?”  I put my glasses on the top of my head and leaned back in my chair.  “And no interrupting her.  Especially you, Sawgrass.”

 

“Promise you won’t get mad, Professor Muggle.  We…”

 

“Liv, I’m going to stop you right there.  Have you ever heard anybody say ‘promise you won’t get mad’ and then the other person actually _doesn’t_ get mad?  I’m not promising anything until I find out what’s going on.  Continue.”

 

“Monday you told us that we couldn’t have Muggle Club anymore, even the Christmas party.  We’d been planning it for a long time, and everybody wanted to still have the party.  We weren’t going to do it, because we couldn’t find a room, but Poesy Phillips said that she knew a place in the castle where nobody could find us.  So we went to the room and we had the party there.  I know you said we couldn’t, but we had to have the Christmas party.” 

 

The whole time Liv was talking she was tapping the end of her wand on the table like a drummer for a speed metal band, so I knew she was nervous.  Liv was one of my more unflappable students, so for her to be acting like this must have meant something else had happened.

 

“Please stop tapping your wand, Liv.  Now.  I am glad you told me, but what are you leaving out?  What happened next, some couple was snogging in the halls, got caught by Filch and spilled the beans?” 

 

The Ravenclaw girl looked at me like I was insane.  “No, professor.  Nothing happened afterwards.”

 

“Then why was the rest of your class trying to, um, why didn’t they want you to tell me?” 

 

I looked over to Sawgrass, who just shrugged. “We thought if you didn’t know about it you wouldn’t get into any more trouble with Flurbin.  Plausible deniability.”

 

That made me laugh, as it proved that Sawgrass had been paying attention in at least one of my lectures.  “And you, Liv?”

 

“I said that you needed to know, because if the Headmaster did find out he’d blame you anyway, because it was the Muggle Club Christmas party.”

 

I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes with the other hand.  Both had valid points.  “Ok, let’s get this over with so we can get to today’s exciting lesson about how to use a public telephone, shit, not that they really exist anymore, but...”

 

As usual, any time that I said a curse word in class I had to pay the price.  Ruby walked over to the bookshelf, pulled out a book and brought it over to me.  I opened the book, revealing the hollow interior and dropped a galleon inside.  I’d promised all of my classes that I’d use the money to treat them during the last Hogsmeade weekend, so they were thrilled that I’d cursed.

 

After the laughter had subsided I walked up and sat in an empty spot on one of the front row of tables.  “I appreciate y’all trying to protect me, but Liv is right, I do need to know.  Now before you say anything, that doesn’t mean that I’m going to say anything to Flurbin or anybody else.  Are you sure that nobody heard your party?  What was this room, exactly?”

 

“I can tell you.”  I turned to listen to Sawgrass.  “It’s called the Room of Requirement.  Poesy heard about it from Professor Weasley over the summer.  It’s wicked, whatever you need the room provides, tables, chairs, a Christmas tree…mistletoe.”

 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carrick Frye sink as low as he could at his table.  I glanced over to Ruby and saw an expression not unlike the one I received from Melody after my brother’s bachelor party. 

 

I figured I’d save Carrick, so I stood up and walked back to my desk.  “If George Weasley was involved, I think its best that I don’t know anymore about it.  Now if you would open your textbooks to page one hundred and twenty, we’ll get started.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

As I walked out of my last class for the day Neville was waiting for me.  We walked back to my room, both not believing that we’d actually survived without Flurbin extending Neville’s probation or firing me, so the holidays were off to a good start and our spirits were high.  After narrowly avoiding a group of Gryffindor boys hurtling down the stairs at a dangerous rate of speed we made our way to my room, settling in for a butterbeer to pass the time. 

 

In the middle of a discussion on the Quidditch Cup I suddenly remembered something.  “Hold up, Neville, there’s one more thing I need to do.  Nonky?  Can you come here for a moment?”

 

With a familiar crack the house elf appeared next to the fireplace.  “Yes, Professor Hank?  What can Nonky do for you and Headmaster Longbottom?”

 

Neville shook his head.  “I’m not Headmaster, Nonky.  Flurbin is.”

 

“I’m sorry, Headmaster, but once a Headmaster of Hogwarts always a Headmaster of Hogwarts, you are.”

 

I laughed.  “I have a few students who share your sentiments, Nonky.  I don’t need anything, I have something for you.”  I walked over to my desk and pulled out a package.  “I hope you enjoy it.  Happy Christmas, Nonky.”

 

He haltingly took the package from me, and I saw tears beginning to well up in his eyes. 

 

“Don’t cry, Nonky.  Open it up.” 

 

I watched him unwrap the package, but when he saw what it was he didn’t know what to do. 

 

I wasn’t surprised at that he didn’t know what to do.  “Let me show you.  You’ve seen me listen to my WUMP, right?  This is the same thing, but it’s made for house elves.  Here, put these in your ears and say ‘play random,’ ok?”

 

He did as he was instructed and suddenly his eyes became huge.  “Professor Muggle, Nonky hears traditional house elf music!”

 

“That’s right.  It has a lot of music on it, and the other instructions are here on this parchment.  I don’t need anything from you, I just wanted to tell you thank you for everything and wish you a Happy Christmas.”

 

Before I could say another word Nonky hugged my leg and apparated away.

 

“Merlin’s pants, Hank.  House elf WUMPs?  How did you know it would fit him?”

 

“Ginny loaned Kreacher to George for a day or so.”

 

“And traditional house elf music?  I didn’t even know house elves had music.  How did you find that out?”

 

“Think about it for a second, Neville.”  I watched him rack his brain and then roll his eyes.

 

“Hermione.  Obviously.”

 

We heard a loud knock on the door and after opening it the mood of the room dropped considerably.  Argus Filch stood in my doorway. 

 

“Headmaster Flurbin requests your presence, Professor Boyd.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Filch.  I’ll be right there.”  I walked over to Neville and shook his hand.  “Either I’m getting fired or I’m going to get yelled at, but either way have a very Happy Christmas, Neville.”

 

“Merry Christmas to you too, Hank.”

 

I laughed at him.  “Funny, you don’t look American.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Filch was waiting for me next to the gargoyles, and instead of saying the password he whispered it into the ear of the nearest statue.  As the door opened he gave me a smarmy look and wished me a Happy Christmas.  I returned the sentiment, but after two steps into the Headmaster’s office I’d completely forgotten about Filch.

 

Flurbin was seated at his desk speaking to a figure in a weather-beaten traveling cloak; I couldn’t tell who it was because the hood of the cloak was up.  As I entered Flurbin simply gestured to the empty seat in front of his desk.  When I sat down I looked over to the person sitting next to me, and the amount of relief that flooded through my body was unbelievable, as when the hood was lowered I realized that Harry Potter was sitting next to me.

 

Flurbin stroked his mustache and lowered his chin, giving the impression that he was looking down on Harry.  “I hope you realize, Mr. Potter, that instructional staff is not released from duty until all of the students who are leaving for the holidays have boarded the Hogwarts Express.  While I am granting your request, please convey to the Auror Department and the Ministry that this is a one-time only agreement.  Instructional staff needs to set an example for the student population, and this request goes against the Three D’s.”

 

“Duly noted, Headmaster.  I will make sure the Aurors and the Ministry know exactly what’s going on.”

 

Either Flurbin was too stupid or too smart to respond, so he turned to me.  “Mr. Boyd, I will expect you promptly in my office at eight in the morning on the Monday term resumes.  I hope you enjoy your time away from Hogwarts.  Dismissed.”

 

After Harry and I had walked for a while he turned to me and shook his head.  “That man is a nasty piece of work.  Is he always like that?”

 

“Pretty much.  I try and stay out of his way as much as possible.  Do I need to pack anything?”

 

“No, I guess Nonky must have done it for you.  You must not have noticed it but your trunk and Calliope arrived at The Burrow earlier this morning.”

 

 _No packing?  I love house elves._   “That’s great, one less thing to do.  Let’s go to The Burrow, I’m ready to get out of this place.”

 

“Well, we’ve got one stop before we go.  We have to drop by Colony House.”

 

“Precautionary spells or wards or whatever you call them?” 

 

Harry laughed.  “No, George wants your DVD player.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Harry and I had barely arrived before Melody ran out the door and literally jumped into my arms, causing Harry to almost drop the DVD player. 

 

“Looks like somebody missed you, Hank.  I’ll catch up with you inside.”

 

After a nice long kiss I put Melody down on the ground.  “I’ve missed you too, love.”

 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Hank.  After the way we left each other last time…”

 

“Don’t worry about it.  Nice article in _Witch Weekly,_ by the way.  I guess that running your articles past me thing…”

 

“I had a quick deadline, as Margaret wanted to run it that week instead of the week after, like I thought she would.  I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s fine, Mel.  It’s fine.  Now let’s go inside.  It’s cold out here.”

 

The moment after we walked in I was engulfed by my family.  Mom gave me a one-armed hug as she was holding a sleeping James Potter, and after a while I was finally able to sit down.  Molly gave me a hug while I was at the kitchen table and brought me a cup of tea, and everybody wanted to know how Hogwarts was.  I really didn’t feel like telling the truth, so I told them mostly about my students. 

 

During the first lull in the conversation Nate looked over to me from the couch were he was sitting with Lavender and gave me a big smile.  I figured that he and Lavender must be getting along well, but I’d forgotten what being with Nate for an extended period of time could be like.

 

“Hey Hank, what was that Trowbridge girl’s first name?  Stephanie?”

 

 _Holy fucking shit.  Nate and Ted had been with Melody, the Weasleys and the Potters for two whole days.  What the hell had they told everybody?_   I pushed my glasses to the top of my head and put my hand over my face.  “Emily.  Her name was Emily.” 

 

“That’s right, I couldn’t remember her name but I remember everything else.  Have him tell you the rest of that story sometime, Melody.  It’s a good one.”

 

Ted elbowed Nate in the arm.  “Hey, you remember when I was eight and he paid me ten dollars to call Mom from the gas station and tell her there was a catering emergency at the Mayor’s New Year’s Eve party?  So he could sneak his girlfriend from college into the house?” 

 

I looked over at Ted and mouthed “I’m going to kill you.”

 

“Henry!”  Mom smacked me on the arm.  “I can’t believe you!”

 

“Oh yeah, that was the Japanese girl, Toshiko.  I remember that.”  Nate put his arm around Lavender and pretended to whisper in her ear.  “Didn’t last very long.  She dumped him.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

Simultaneously Melody, Molly and my Mom called my name in disgust, and Melody and Mom each smacked me on an arm.

 

George Weasley began laughing uproariously from the sitting room.  When he could breathe again he made his way into the kitchen and sat down at the table.  “This is going to be the best Christmas ever.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

Supper was, shall we say, interesting.  Since I was the last one to arrive, everyone had a lot of fun filling me in.  It was obvious that Mom and Molly had become fast friends, and Arthur and my Dad seemed like they had known each other for years.  I half-listened to one of their conversations, and it was like two little boys telling each other about their train sets and model rockets.  Ted and George had hit it off, as I’d heard that they picked each other’s brains about technology and magic, while Candice and Angelina commiserated with each other about having husbands who were smart, dedicated to their jobs and sometimes not the most romantic men on the planet.  Nate and Lavender spent a lot of time together, but when Ron and Harry arrived he peppered them with questions about being an Auror, leaving Lavender to spend time with either Melody or Ginny and Hermione.  I would have loved to have heard the conversations with Hermione and Lavender, as frequently Ginny got up to check on James. 

 

It was surreal, seeing my Muggle world interacting with my Wizarding world, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it was all a dream.  Hearing my family’s stories about seeing Wizarding photographs, the Weasley family clock and the rest of the fantastic things at the Burrow brought back memories of when I first came to Hogwarts, and I realized that I was truly part of the Wizarding world.  No, I’d never be able to anything close to what my friends could do in terms of magic, but things like Quidditch and talking portraits were no longer amazing things out of a fantasy, they were as commonplace as a chair. 

 

After all of the Weasley children and their spouses left The Burrow it felt as if a good party had just ended, as I was tired.  I sat on the sofa and was joined shortly by Melody, who brought me a glass of milk and a slice of one of my favorite things in the world, my Mom’s Italian cream cake. 

 

“Mel, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted a piece of that cake.  It’s my absolute favorite.”

 

“That’s what Karen said.  We decided it would be a nice treat for you.”

 

“I thought you might enjoy that.”  Mom sat down in a chair across from us.  “It was much easier to make this time, as we used a little magic.”

 

Molly walked in from the kitchen and sat down.  “It does make some things go faster, but you can’t rush some recipes.”

 

I smiled, as my Mom and the woman who treated me like one of her own children sat there, and even though I wasn’t a Weasley I felt like I was home for the holidays.

 

“Now Hank, Melody’s told us some of your wedding plans, but she said she was saving one thing for a surprise and wouldn’t tell me until you got here.  Please don’t tell me I have to come down the aisle on a broom or anything like that.”

 

“Um, no Mom.  And I’m not sure what she’s talking about.”  I looked over to Melody, confused.  “What is it?  I can’t think of anything.”

 

She rolled her eyes.  “Honestly I’ll be happy if you remember what day it’s going to be.  What are you going to wear, Hank?”

 

“Oh!  Right.  Um, Mom, to celebrate our Scottish magical heritage, the Ministry has requested that we have a kilted wedding.”

 

Mom clapped her hands together, giving Molly a start.  “Hank, your Gran would be so pleased.  Are you going to wear the dress tartan or pick one of the others?”

 

“Dress tartan, I guess.  I mean, I’ve got mine and Nate and Ted have theirs.  We’ll just have to get them made for everybody else.”  I looked over to Molly and laughed.  “I haven’t told anybody else yet.  They have no idea, so I think I’ll save that news for Christmas day.  What do you think the reaction will be?”

 

“Well, Harry will be fine with it because it’s what’s expected of him, Ron will sulk about it for a bit but eventually agree, and George will probably do something embarrassing.  The pictures will be wonderful, though.”

 

After that I concentrated on my neglected piece of cake and half-listened to Melody describe the rest of the plans to Mom and Molly.  After finishing my cake I suddenly realized that despite all the plans we’d never be married at Forthingsgate, as Rolf Scamander had said that it was too dangerous.  _Crap_.  I’d have to find some time over the holidays to talk to Ron or Harry and try to figure out what to do.  As it was, between Pepper and Melody, the wedding was a train barreling down the tracks, and I didn’t know if anything could stop it.

 

Even though I tried to fight it, the yawns descended over me quickly, and I couldn’t hide it. 

 

Melody shook her head and smirked at me, then looked over to Molly.  “The elderly gentleman that I’m marrying seems to be tired, so I think I should show him up to his room.”

 

_Wait, my room?  Not our room?  Crap._

 

I followed Melody up several crazy flights of stairs until she stopped and opened a door.  “You’re in Ron’s old room.  I’m a floor below in Ginny’s room, so don’t get any ideas.  Molly’s thought of everything and besides, your Mum and Dad are in the house.”

 

“But we’re engaged, Mel.  And Molly knows we live together.”  I could see that my argument wasn’t going to go anywhere, so I gave up.  “Fine.  I guess I don’t have to live with your cold feet for a while.”

 

She put her arms around my neck and leaned in close.  “You are hopeless.  Now go to sleep and make sure to wake up hungry.  The amount of food at breakfast is staggering.”

 

After a nice goodnight kiss she left, and I admit I watched her down the stairs. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The next morning I figured that I was amongst family, literally and figuratively, so instead of getting dressed for breakfast I came downstairs in my pajama pants, slippers, t-shirt and robe.  I hadn’t shaved, I wasn’t wearing my glasses, my hair was a mess and I really didn’t care, as I was hungry and I needed tea or coffee.  Anything with caffeine.  I didn’t really feel human until after my first cup, and I figured everybody else would be the same way.

 

I was completely and utterly wrong, because as soon as I walked into the kitchen I found myself face to face with a smartly-dressed woman with brown hair about my Mom’s age that I had never seen before in my life.  _Great_.  “Um, good morning.”

 

“Good morning to you.  You must be Professor Boyd.  You do look a little bit different than your picture, but I must say I liked your book very much.  Oh, I do apologize; I’m Winifred Granger, Hermione’s mother.”

 

“Very nice to meet you.  I’m glad you liked my book.  I promise that I usually don’t look like this when I meet people, sorry about that.”

 

“It’s quite all right.  We’re here a bit early, don’t worry at all.  We’re actually going on a sightseeing tour with your parents.  Ron and Hermione are going as well.  Would you and your fiancée care to join us?”

 

“I appreciate the offer, Mrs. Granger, perhaps some other time.”  _Crap, my parents are going sightseeing?  That can’t be good._

 

“Hank, why are you still in your pajamas?”  Melody walked over and handed me a cup of tea.

 

I looked around and sure enough I was only one not dressed.  “Tea first.  You know…”

 

“Don’t feel bad, I’m the same way.”  A man who I guessed must be Hermione’s father stood next to Winifred.  “Gerald Granger.  Winnie knows better than to talk to me before I’ve had my first cuppa.”

 

“Definitely.  If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to take my tea upstairs and get dressed.  Very nice to meet you Mrs. Granger, Mr. Granger.”

 

I tried to drink my tea on the way upstairs, as I had to get dressed quickly.  Ron was going to be with my parents and his in-laws, but it was still an outing that made me nervous.  After throwing on the first clothes I could find I made my way downstairs to find everyone drinking tea at the table.  Luckily they hadn’t left yet, so I tapped Ron on the shoulder and tried to have a private conversation with him in the corner of the sitting room.

 

“Are you sure about this, Ron?  I didn’t think they were supposed to leave The Burrow?”

 

Ron shrugged, and from the look on his face I could tell he wasn’t enthused.  “The Grangers surprised me, and there’s really not much I can do about it now.  Seamus will shadow us, so we’ll be ok there.  We’ll do the quick tour, though, as its bloody boring.”

 

“You’ve contacted Seamus?  How’d you manage that?”

 

Ron shook his head.  “Don’t need to.  He’s assigned to The Burrow over the holidays, and anybody that leaves, he follows.  They’ll be fine.

 

“Ok, ok.  But what about the wedding, Ron?  They still think we can have it at…”

 

“That’ll be worked out shortly.  Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it somehow.  Just enjoy your holiday and remember you owe me one.  I hate sightseeing with Hermione and her parents.  Merlin’s pants its boring.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Somehow Ron’s assurance that everything would be handled in regards to the wedding location didn’t make me feel better; if anything, it made me feel even more nervous.  Combining the fact that my parents were off playing tourist with my impending doom with Flurbin, I found myself wishing I would have brought one of the pipes.  Luckily I was saved from stewing by Arthur, who requested that I join him in the shed on the premise of discussing the Anglia.

 

When we entered the shed I was once again struck by how warm it seemed; after all, it was December and the walk to the shed was brisk, to say the least. 

 

“Oh, well, I’ve added some things to make the place a bit more comfortable.”  Arthur sat on a stool next to a workbench and fiddled with an air cleaner.  “But I’m sure you realize I didn’t ask you to come out here to talk about the auto, am I correct?”

 

“I figured as much.  What’s up, Arthur?”

 

He sat the air cleaner back on the table and looked over to me with a somewhat resigned face.  “We’ve been trying to figure out how to move your wedding from Melody’s Mum’s.  Kingsley and I…”

 

“Wait, the Minister of Magic is taking time out of his day to work on my wedding arrangements?”

 

“I’m afraid so, yes.  We’ve been discussing possible venues, and excuses, and I’m afraid we’re coming up empty.  Hank, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m afraid we may have to postpone your wedding.”

 

“What the hell am I going to tell Melody?  Shit, Arthur.  They’ve been planning for weeks, and now all of the sudden I have to tell them ‘oh sorry, can’t do it that weekend, maybe later?’  I’m sure that will go over great.”

 

“Now Hank, don’t go flying off.  I didn’t say we would _have_ to postpone the wedding, it’s a possibility.  We’re still working on things.  Until then just continue on as usual.”


	9. St. Mungo's

**Chapter 9:  St. Mungo’s**

 

So far the day had developed into a complete disaster.  My parents were off gallivanting around London playing tourist, Arthur had dropped the bomb on me about possibly postponing the wedding and I was just supposed to act like nothing was wrong.  Luckily everyone was busy with Christmas preparations, so I was able to avoid all of the questions about my general lack of Christmas cheer.  I took up residence in the sitting room with a pile of parchment with the pretense of getting all of my work out of the way so I could properly enjoy the holidays. 

 

I managed to hide for the better part of the morning until a cup of tea suddenly appeared in front of my face.  I looked up expecting Melody or Molly, but was surprised to see Arthur smiling at me.

 

“You looked like you could use it.  Not easy, you know, hiding in plain sight.” 

 

I looked over to Arthur and didn’t know exactly what to say, so I simply thanked him and motioned to sit in the nearest chair.  “Is it that obvious?”

 

He smiled and shook his head slightly as if trying to decide between chocolate and strawberry ice cream.  “To most, no, but I know why you’re in a bit of a pickle.  Hard to be happy with everything up in the air and all.”  He sat down and leaned over to me.  “But you do have many reasons to be happy, Hank.  Look around you, and tell me what you see.”

 

At the table my brothers played Wizard’s Chess, while Melody and Candice sat on the sofa looking through bridal magazines, both Wizarding and Muggle.  Molly was humming along to Christmas Carols, sitting in her chair, busily knitting two things at the same time.  I watched a tiny Santa’s sleigh make its usual turn around the Christmas tree and it was then that I realized I was being selfish and petulant. 

 

“Its how we make it through, Hank.”  Arthur reached over and put his hand on my shoulder.  “Even when things were the darkest, and trust me, son, they were very dark, we have to remember what’s really important.  I know you have quite a bit on your mind, but we’ll get it all sorted in the end.” 

 

After Arthur left I sat for a moment and thought about everything; yes, there was a lot up in the air, but I did have quite a lot to be thankful for.  I watched Melody laugh with Candice as they pointed to what must have been a horrible dress or something like that in one of the magazines, and I caught Melody’s eye for just a moment.  She winked at me then returned to flipping pages.  I set down the parchment, picked up my tea and sat down next to Ted at the table.

 

“Try moving your rook, Ted.”

 

“Hey, no helping!”  Nate looked over and shook his head.  “You two always gang up on me.”

 

“Well, I owe you.  Starting that crap about my ex-girlfriends.  What else did you two tell them?”  I elbowed Ted.  “Move your damn rook.”

 

My youngest brother just shook his head.  “Are you kidding?  You really don’t know how to play chess worth a crap.  We didn’t really say anything too bad, just, you know, how you have horrible luck with women.  Until now, of course.  I’m still not sure how you got that lucky, she’s way out of your league.”

 

Ted moved a pawn, which was quickly and dramatically taken by Nate’s knight.  “This is a hell of a lot more fun than regular chess.  I feel like I’m in a science fiction movie.”  Nate looked over to me, but for once he was serious.  “Ted, she is out of his league, but our big brother has some tricks up his sleeve.”

 

_Nate actually gave me something of a compliment?  I guess Christmas miracles do happen occasionally._

 

Ted looked over at me and raised his eyebrows.  “Yeah.  You know, that was a fun one, um, when we got back from our honeymoon.  Showed up to Mom and Dad’s and they’re rebuilding the garage, so Mom sat us down in the living room and said that you’re sort of a wizard, your dating a witch and there was a war in the backyard.  I didn’t really believe her until Nate’s girlfriend showed up and did some stuff with her wand and we had to sign some forms.”

 

 _Wait, what?  Nate’s girlfriend?_   “So you and Lavender, officially an item then, Nate?”

 

“Yeah, I guess we are.  She’s been over working with the AAB, and we’ve been seeing each other for a while now.  When she’s in the states.  And not working.” 

 

From the look on Nate’s face I could tell that it was different than with his other girlfriends; he didn’t have his usual shit-eating grin.  I wanted to give him a hard time about it, but to be honest I was actually happy for him.  Couldn’t let him know that, of course, but Ted beat me to it as he began whistling “The Werewolves of London.”

 

Nate moved his queen and stood up.  “Nice.  You guys suck.”

 

With that he left the room, and I looked over at Ted.  “Well, you won that, but you lost the game.  He’s got you.”

 

When my parents arrived back at The Burrow I could finally relax, and I decided to take Arthur’s advice wholeheartedly, as I spent the rest of the day and early evening enjoying the company of my family and friends.  I sat with Melody and listened good naturedly as Mom and Molly traded stories about their children, and I didn’t mind when a few of my most embarrassing stories were told.  After George and Angelina arrived things became more interesting, as George had brought some “variety packs” for my family, and my brothers took it upon themselves to test things out.  Watching Nate have a ten ton tongue was definitely a good one.

 

Before I knew it the evening was over, and everyone retired to their room, leaving me once again surrounded by posters of the Chudley Cannons, zooming as always through the sky towards a losing season.  I rummaged around the room looking for something that I could read, as I was tired of grading parchment and needed something to take my mind off of things.  I found a book about crazy magical creatures, complete with added doodles and comments, but that wasn’t what I needed.  There weren’t many other books in the room, as Ron must not have been much of a reader as a kid, so I dug my parchments back out of my bag and sat in bed grading until I must have fallen asleep.

 

The next thing I remember was feeling someone take off my glasses, and when I looked up Melody put her finger to her lips.  She moved the covers back and snuggled in close, and I didn’t even mind when I felt her feet rubbing on the back of my calves. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

The next two days went by in a happy blur of conversation and food.  I took the opportunity to tease Nate about Lavender, which he took quite well, and that took me by surprise.  After the initial catching up and explanations about the Wizarding world The Burrow fell into a happy rhythm of visits from the various Weasley children and their families in the run-up to Christmas.  As there wasn’t a lot for the Boyd men to do, Arthur happily enlisted us for Anglia Duty, and it reminded me of when my brothers and I were little.  Most of the time we were out in the shed, greasy and happy to be doing something together for the first time in Merlin knows how long.  The women said they spent most of their time trying to teach Melody how to cook and preparing for the Christmas dinner, but my guess was that they just enjoyed visiting with each other and commiserating about the various men in their lives.

 

Late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, after finally getting the Anglia’s engine to turn over and run for a few smoky minutes, we felt we’d made enough progress and returned to wash up for dinner.  This would be the small meal compared to Christmas Day, but it would still mean quite a few Weasleys, though not the full batch.  I took a shower and after getting dressed, before I could even make it down the stairs, I could hear the house full of happy noise.  Well, mostly George, but it was still a happy noise.

 

When I arrived downstairs George was maneuvering Hermione and Ginny together for a picture.

 

“Ok, girls, stick out those bellies.  Let’s really see how huge you are!”

 

“George!”  Angelina shook her head.  “They’re going to get you back, you know that, right?”

 

“Right, right, fully expect to have something horrible happen any moment.  Hermione, come on now, don’t try to hide it.  We all know you eat more than Ron these days.”

 

I shook my head and joined Melody in the kitchen and watched Ginny and Hermione nod at each other and then stick out their tongues at the camera. 

 

George snapped the picture and then looked around the room.  “Ok, last call for any pregnant witches or Muggles.  Candice, Melody, have any news?” 

 

Both of them shook their heads, and out of the corner of my eye I caught my Mom sigh, but I couldn’t tell if she was happy or disappointed.  Angelina looked at George and started to take a few steps towards the Pregnant Picture Area, causing George to momentarily lose his mischievous expression.  Before he could say anything, though, a familiar face came in the door.

 

“We aren’t late, are we?” 

 

Bill Weasley walked in carrying Victoire, followed shortly by Fleur.  As the room was crowded from the audience for George’s pictures, Fleur ended up standing next to Ted.  I watched Ted, as it was his first meeting with Fleur, and I wanted to see how her Veela heritage affected him.  Sure enough, he was googly-eyed and almost seemed to lose his balance, as he swayed into Candice.

 

George shook his head at Bill.  “No, brother, you aren’t late.  I’m just taking pictures of pregnant witches.”

 

Without saying a word Fleur walked over to Hermione and Ginny and stood between them.  Molly looked excitedly over to Bill, who simply pointed to Fleur.

 

“Zee new baybee will be here in July.”

 

After a round of congratulations I found myself next to Angelina.  “You aren’t, are you?”

 

“Nah.  I just like to watch his face when he thinks that I might be.”

 

After another amazing meal I ended up in the living room with Ron and Harry, while everybody else seemed to be busy doing something in preparation for Christmas. 

 

Ron leaned back into his chair for a moment, then sat forward and looked at me somewhat seriously.  “Are you ready for the big day?”

 

“What, Christmas?  I guess.  All my presents are wrapped.”  I watched him shake his head and laugh.

 

“No, Hank.  Boxing Day.  Introducing your family to Melody’s Mum.”

 

“Oh.  Well, not really.  Haven’t thought about it much lately.  I guess it has to happen sometime, so why not get it over with, right?”  The conversation about Lane Bramble made me think of the wedding location, and I looked over to Harry.  “Any idea on how to move ‘a certain event’ yet, Harry?”

 

“Not yet.  We’re working on it.  Right now I’m more concerned about your meeting after the holidays.  I spoke to Neville the other day and confirmed some of my suspicions about Flurbin.  I can’t really say more than that right now, though.”  Harry glanced over to the kitchen to make sure nobody was listening, and leaned in closer to me.  “We’re working the tip you gave us about Flurbin’s property.  Hopefully we’ll have some progress soon.”

 

As the evening wore on the crowd thinned until eventually Melody and I were alone at last in the sitting room.  She was curled up next to me on the sofa, and we didn’t say much as Christmas carols played quietly on the wireless.  I watched the fireplace and played with Melody’s hair until she sat up and faced me, crossing her legs.

 

“Would it be so bad, Hank?”

 

“Would what be so bad?  Little more clarification, love.”

 

“If I went over and stood with Hermione, Ginny and Fleur in the pregnant witches picture?” 

 

“No, it wouldn’t, but I think we should at least wait until we’re married.  I am worried…”

 

“That our baby might be more like you than me?”  She reached out and took my hand.  “Hank, it won’t matter.”

 

“I guess.  I know it’d be hard to have all the wizarding kids around and not be able to do anything.  I kind of know what that’s like.”  I took off my glasses and sat them on the top of the sofa.  “Besides, you just started at _Witch Weekly_ and…”  _Crap. Who knew if I would have a job after the holidays?   I didn’t want to tell her about the meeting with Flurbin.  I knew I should but I just couldn’t, not on Christmas Eve._

She shook her head.  “That actually makes things easier.  I am worried about not knowing anything about babies.  Well, not very much.  We’re watching James for Ginny and Harry one day between Christmas and New Year’s…I thought that might give me some idea.”

 

 _Wait.  Whoa.  How fast is she…_   “Um, Mel, how soon and, uh, wow, kids how many talking, when I are you um, the…”

 

She laughed and messed my hair with her hand.  “My educated literature professor, I start talking about babies and you can’t put a sentence together.  Not anytime soon, don’t worry.  And I’d like it if you could arrange a girl and a boy, please.”

 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

 

“Good, you do that.  Now I have to go to bed, and no, I can’t visit you tonight.  Ginny said something today that gave me a hint that Molly knows that I haven’t been in my assigned bed.  Just think of seeing me tomorrow as a Christmas present.”

 

After a quick kiss Melody walked up the stairs, leaving me alone in front of the fire.  _Two kids?  And how soon was ‘not anytime soon’ anyway?_ I gave up trying to figure out things and went to bed.  At least I’ve be able to sleep in on Christmas morning, as the little ones were all at their own houses, ready for Santa Claus, or Father Christmas as he’s called in Britain.  If I was lucky Mom and Molly would already have breakfast ready by the time I woke up. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

“Hank!  Hank, wake up.”

 

I opened my eyes to see Arthur Weasley standing over me, his wand lit at the end, and the faint illumination displayed a face that can only be described as frightened.

 

“What’s…Melody?”  I sat up somewhat and rested on my elbow.  “Is she ok?  What time is it?”

 

“She’s fine, Hank.  Our families are fine, but we need you to come with us to St. Mungo’s.  Put on some clothes and come downstairs as soon as you can.”  Arthur flicked his wand before going downstairs, giving me just enough light to find my clothes and glasses.  “And it is three in the morning.”

 

I threw on the first things I could find and it was all I could do to go down the stairs as fast as possible without making a ton of noise.  When I came into the kitchen I saw Arthur with the kettle, pouring me a cup of tea.

 

“Sit down and have a cup of tea while we wait.  Ron’s coming over in a moment and then you can leave.  Hank, I have some bad news for you, I’m afraid.  Son, we just got word that there was an attack by the WLF and one of your students was involved.  She’s ok, but I’m afraid it’s more complicated than that.”

 

I took a sip of tea and didn’t care that there wasn’t any milk or sugar; it was as I had feared.  My Muggle Club roster…there were so many students on that list.  I heard a crack and looked towards Arthur, who walked to the door, wand at the ready.

 

“Good, Ron’s here.”  Arthur handed me a coat and took my teacup.  Don’t worry, Hank.  I’ll take care of things here.”

 

I stood up and walked out to meet Ron, who was standing in a slight dusting of snow.  “I’ll fill you in when we get there.  Come on, let’s go.”  After he took my arm we spun and left The Burrow, and right before we apparated I could see a light snap on in a window on the third floor.

 

As soon as we arrived at St. Mungo’s Harry walked forward to meet us.  We sat down at a small reception area and I finally couldn’t contain myself.

 

“Who is it?  It’s one of my Muggle Club students, isn’t it? Are they going to be ok?”

 

“Yes and no.”  Harry looked over to his brother-in-law.  “It’s worse than when you left, Ron.  They’ve moved her to a different room and she’s resting now.  I have to see if we’ve heard anything back from Australia, so I’ll brief you when I know anything.”

 

 _Australia?  I didn’t know anyone from Australia, and none of my students had ever mentioned anything._  “Harry, Ron, can somebody please explain what’s going on?”

 

Ron got up and shook his head slowly.  “I can.  Follow me, and I’ll explain along the way.”  He nodded to Harry.  “Fill me in when you find out anything, ok?”

 

We watched Harry walk away, and then I stood up and began to follow Ron down the hallway.

 

“We got the report in the Auror office around midnight, maybe a little after.  One of the AAB agents was on duty when the owls started arriving, and when they got to the house it was pretty bad.  Hank, Lavinia Ryder and her family were attacked tonight by the WLF.  They blew holes in the house and killed her father instantly, but the best that we can figure right now is that Lavinia and her mother were injured by the damage.  The healers tried everything they could, but her mother passed away in the last hour.  Lavinia was badly hurt and unconscious when they brought her in, but she should heal.”

 

“Holy shit, Ron.  Holy shit!  Does she know yet?  About her parents?”

 

Ron solemnly nodded his head.  “Harry told her, and they gave her a sleeping draught to help her.  Her only relative is an aunt who lives in Australia.  Besides that, she doesn’t have any family.  As she’s in your house we thought you should come in and talk to her.”

 

We stopped outside a small room and nodded at the Auror on duty, who stood up and walked down the hallway.  Ron opened the door and sat down on the recently vacated chair, so as quietly as possible I walked in.  Lavinia was sleeping, her blonde hair somewhat covered by a bandage, and the room was silent except for her breathing and the nervous tapping of my wand on my leg.  I had no idea that I’d taken out my wand, so I put it away quickly, sat down next to her bed and ran my hand through my hair.  What was I going to say to her?  What would happen now? 

 

A healer who came in to check on Lavinia broke my reverie.  Surprisingly the witch had a cup of tea with her and handed it to me. 

 

I kept my voice as low as possible.  “Thank you, Healer.  Do you know when she’ll wake up?”

 

“In about an hour or so.  I need to update her chart, and then I’ll be able to tell you more.” 

 

The young healer went over to Lavinia and waved her wand several times and then took out a quill and updated the chart that hung on the end of Lavinia’s bed.  She gently smoothed Lavinia’s hair and then quietly took a seat next to me.

 

“I know you planned on Christmas morning at The Burrow, Professor, but she’s going to need to see a familiar face when she wakes up.  I’ll let everyone know how things are going when I get there later today.”

 

I looked over to the blonde healer, confused.  _She’d be at The Burrow later today?  How was that possible?  I’d never seen her before in my life._ “I’m sorry; please forgive me, but have we met?”

 

She shook her head.  “Not officially.  I’m Audrey.  Percy was planning on introducing me to his family later today, but things…well…”  She looked over at Lavinia.  “I’m sorry we had to meet like this.  My shift is over in a few minutes, but I’ll stop by and see how the both of you are doing.  She’s going to be ok physically, but we’re worried about how she’ll react.  We need to keep her as calm as possible, but the poor girl…”

 

“I understand.”  I could tell from her face that she was on the brink of tears, but after taking a deep breath she returned to the form of a professional healer.  “I’m sorry we had to meet like this, Audrey.  Please call me Hank.  Thank you for taking good care of Lavinia, and for the tea.”

 

Audrey stood up and smoothed her robes.  “You’re quite welcome.  I’ll be back, but you should be prepared when she wakes up.  I’ll leave you for now.”

 

I stood up and shook her hand and then watched her walk out of the room without making hardly a sound.  I picked up the chair, sat it down as quietly as I could next to Lavinia’s bed and watched the clock move at a glacial pace.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I sat next to Lavinia’s bed, trying to figure out what exactly I would say to her.  How could I tell her that her parents were gone but everything would be all right?  It was my fault; Muggle Club had led the WLF to her family, if I would have never started the club it wouldn’t have happened.  I thought back to how Melody and Lavinia had chatted like old friends in my room at Hogwarts the year before, all of the time I’d spent with her in and out of my class, and even though I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Melody. I’d made my decision.  I only hoped Melody would agree with me.  I was glad I had quit smoking, because I definitely wanted a cigarette. 

 

When the door opened I was relieved to see Harry walk towards me; if anybody could help her with this he certainly could.  He knelt down by my chair and I leaned over to talk to him.

 

His voice was quiet and solemn.  “Here’s the latest, Hank.  We’ve been in touch with the Australian Ministry, and they’re trying to get in touch with her aunt.  Kristine Tinney is in the Outback on a research mission, so contacting her isn’t going to be easy.  As soon as we can get a hold of her we’ll let you know.”

 

I nodded, and debated for a second, but in my heart I’d already made my decision.  I kept my voice as low as possible.  “Harry, I feel responsible.”  I held up my hand to stop his protest.  “I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  It was the Muggle Club charter which led them to her family, I know it.  I know as a professor I shouldn’t have favorites, but I do.  Harry, she’s my favorite student.  She and Melody send letters to each other all the time.  If you can’t get a hold of her aunt, or even if you do, I’d like to help her while she’s at Hogwarts.  There’s got to be some papers I can sign or something.”

 

Harry nodded solemnly.  “Do you want to talk to Melody first?  This isn’t a light decision, Hank.  You’ve got a lot going on right now, and the Auror department is debating what to do about your safety.  Are you sure about this?”

 

“I am, Harry.  I’d also appreciate it if you could spare some time to visit with her.  I know…”

 

“I understand, Hank.  I’d be happy to, but it might not be for a while.  Ok, I’ll see if I can get the paperwork started.  I think I’ll see if Percy’s available in a few hours.”

 

 _Percy…right.  If anybody could help do the paperwork, it would be Percy._   “Maybe you could ask his girlfriend, she’s stopping by to check on Lavinia soon.”

 

Harry gave me a confused look.  “Percy’s girlfriend?  Sounds like you know more than I do.”

 

“I just met her, Harry.  She’s a healer here at the hospital.  I guess I ruined Percy’s Christmas surprise.”

 

“I think a lot of Christmas plans have been ruined.  I’d wish you a Happy Christmas, but it just doesn’t seem like that wish is going to be fulfilled.”

 

When the door opened a few moments later I expected to see Audrey, but it was Melody.  She looked pale, and without saying a word she came over to hug me and then turned to Lavinia’s still-sleeping form.  I watched her smooth Lavinia’s hair, and she stood by the bed for a long time without doing anything else. 

 

I walked up to Melody and put my arms around her, and she leaned into me.  I whispered in her ear “How did you find out?”

 

“Arthur.”  Her voice was shaky.  “Ron brought me after he came back to The Burrow.  Is she going to be ok?”

 

“The healers think so.  Mel, I should have asked you first, but I told Harry that we’d help out.  He’s having Percy draft some paperwork.  They’re trying to find her aunt, but I said we’d take care of her until then.  I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first…”

 

“No, I’m glad you did it.  Poor thing, what will she do now?  And on Christmas.” 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Audrey did stop back in, and since Lavinia did not wake up in the expected timeframe, Audrey sent for additional healers who checked on Lavinia’s condition.  The consensus was that a combination of the sleeping draught and shock were keeping her asleep.  I was glad she was still asleep, as I still didn’t know exactly how I’d manage to comfort her.

 

Percy walked into the room just as the sun was rising and wordlessly motioned for Melody and I to join him outside.  When we reached the small waiting area he brought out a series of papers and put them on the low table. 

 

“Before the two of you sign anything, you are aware of what you’re agreeing to, correct?  After you sign these you will be Lavinia Ryder’s temporary legal guardians until we can contact her aunt.  There are provisions in the documentation that establish permanent guardianship if her aunt does not respond within three months, pending a permanent custodial hearing.”

 

I nodded and looked over at Melody, and by her eyes I knew she agreed.  “We understand, Percy.  Just show me where to sign.”

 

As we signed and initialed the documents the sun began streaming through the windows, and off in the distance I could hear bells ringing in the Christmas morning.  Percy gathered the documents and smiled weakly. 

 

“Well, it doesn’t seem very appropriate, but Happy Christmas to you both.  I’m not sure when I’ll see you at The Burrow, as I’ll be somewhat busy this morning.  Don’t worry, I’ll send word to Mum and your family, Hank.”

 

“Thanks, Percy.  I won’t say anything about Audrey…wait, I think I said something to Harry.  Sorry about that.” 

 

He shrugged and shook his head.  “Not a problem.  It doesn’t matter; I have more important things to deal with.”

 

After Percy left I sat back in the chair and took off my glasses.  The emotion of the situation and the early morning were finally catching up to me, as I couldn’t help but yawn.  I looked over to Melody and saw her give me a sad but comforting face.  “I’m sorry, Mel.  It’s all my fault.  If I hadn’t agreed to Muggle Club none of this would have happened.”

 

She stood up and before I knew it she was kneeling by the side of my chair.  “Just stop it right there, Hank.  This isn’t your fault.  I don’t want to hear one more word of talk like that; nobody could have known that this would happen.”

 

But I did know, and Harry and Ron knew.  George and Rolf Scamander did as well, but I couldn’t tell Melody.  The damned WLF and their kind made me furious and helpless.  I looked at my watch and realized that everybody would be awake at The Burrow, and my thoughts returned instantly to the conversation Melody and I had the evening before about children. 

 

“I guess we’ll get a head start on the parenting thing before we even get married, Mel.”

 

Before she could respond an older healer came up to us and cleared her throat.  “She’s waking up, so you can go see her now.”

 

When we entered the room Lavinia looked smaller than usual, she was sitting up in her bed and looking out the window and didn’t make any movement to indicate that she knew we were there.  I looked over to Melody, who simply nodded and walked over to the chair next to the bed.

 

“Lavinia?”  Melody’s voice was very soft and reassuring.  “Sweetie, we’re here for you.” 

 

Lavinia turned to Melody, and then threw herself into my fiancée’s arms.  They cried together for a while, and I couldn’t move a muscle, I just stood near the door.  Only after feeling a hand on my arm did I realize that somebody else was in the room, and I turned to see Audrey.  She motioned with her head towards the door, and I followed her out into the hallway.

 

“Professor, the healer in charge of her treatment has cleared Lavinia for discharge.  She’s free to go after the final papers have been signed.  Percy told me, so I’ll have them brought over for you and Miss Bramble.”

 

“Thank you.  Please call me Hank, and Melody will do fine, don’t worry about Miss Bramble.”  I studied the blond woman, and I could see why Percy was attracted to her.  She had a very warm, comforting way about her that reminded me somewhat of Molly Weasley.  “I thought you were leaving.  What are you still doing here?”

 

“I wanted to make sure things were settled before I left.  Percy understands.  I’ll have the papers brought to you. “

 

When I re-entered the room Melody was sitting on the bed with Lavinia, talking quietly.  I made my way over and sat down in the closest chair.  Before I could say anything Lavinia began crying softly.

 

“Lavinia, I’m so sorry.  I wish I could change things for you.”  I looked to Mel, and she nodded.  “Melody and I have talked, and we’ll take care of you.”

 

A healer came into the room and quietly handed me some papers and a quill, and I concentrated on writing my name without an ink pen in the appropriate places and then handed the parchment to Melody.

 

“Pro…Professor, what will happen to me?”  Lavinia looked to the healer, and then back to me. 

 

“The Ministry is trying to contact your aunt in Australia, but until then Melody and I will be your temporary guardians.  The healers say that you can leave the hospital, that’s why we’re signing the papers.  You’ll be coming with us.  Is that ok, Lavinia?”

 

“I don’t have anywhere to go, Professor.”

 

“Yes, you do, Lavinia.”  Melody put her hand on Lavinia’s shoulder.  “You do now.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When we arrived by Floo at The Burrow it was a very subdued greeting.  Molly and my Mom met us, and I could tell that they both wanted to mother Lavinia, but held back.  Instead both of them relied on what they know best, food.  I was worried that will all of the things that had happened Lavinia wouldn’t respond to anyone, that she’d withdraw into herself, but she sat down at the table with Melody as plates were loaded with Christmas treats.  Even though I should have been starving, I couldn’t muster up any energy for food, so I settled into a very strong cup of coffee.

 

The conversation level was low until Ginny and James arrived; James was loud and apparently not happy with anything, as Ginny looked frazzled. 

 

“Hank, can you try your tricks with him?  Nothing is working and he’s been like this for the last hour.  Happy Christmas, by the way.”  As soon as she saw Lavinia at the table, Ginny looked over to Molly with a confused look.  Out of Lavinia’s sight Molly put her finger to her lips and shook her head. 

 

I got up from my chair and took James from Ginny.  “No problem, I’ll see what I can do.” 

 

The smallest Potter was not pleased, to say the least, as he was squirming and quite red in the face.  I finally got a decent hold of him and began walking through The Burrow, up the stairs and all over the house, trying my tricks of talking and singing, but nothing was working.  Since I didn’t know the Chudley Cannons fight song I found myself back down in the kitchen with a slight headache. 

 

While I had been walking through The Burrow a conference had taken place at the kitchen table around a book.  At the arrival of wailing James every face looked up at me, and Molly held out her arms for her grandson.  I gladly handed over James, and before I could even ask a question Molly had a finger in his mouth.  Moments later James was quiet for the first time since his arrival at The Burrow, easing my headache. 

 

“He’s getting a molar.  We’ll put some soothing balm on it and he’ll be fine.”  Molly looked over at my mom, who nodded in agreement.

 

“Can I help?” 

 

Every eye turned to Lavinia.  I saw Molly nod, and Lavinia left the table to join her in the search to find soothing balm.

 

Melody and I filled in Ginny, and everybody else, on our temporary guardianship of Lavinia.  Percy had owled them earlier, but didn’t say much except that we would be back at The Burrow and would be bringing a guest.  I was worried that I’d spoiled Percy’s surprise, but was relieved when Ginny said that Harry had left very early that morning and she hadn’t heard from him.  I knew Harry and Ron were working, but I had no idea when they would arrive at The Burrow.

 

Molly and Lavinia came back in to the kitchen, and this time Lavinia was holding James; the youngest Potter seemed finally to be right at the edge of sleep.  After showing Lavinia where the rocking chair was located, Molly made sure that the two of them were comfortable and left them to rock by the fireplace. 

 

Mom leaned over and whispered “I think that’s a good idea.  Instead of worrying about herself she’s taking care of the baby.  Keeps her mind off of things.”

 

“I’m glad, Mom, because I have no idea how to handle this.  What do I say to her?  What do I do?”  I ran my hands through my hair.  “It’s not like Maddie or Oliver; I can’t get out the toys and distract her.  She’s twelve.”

 

“Just treat her like an adult, Hank, but be prepared for her emotions to be all over the place.  Girls are hard to deal with at that age as it is.”  Mom looked over to Molly, who nodded in agreement.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad!”  Ginny feigned offense and shook her head.  “Besides, when I was twelve…”  Ginny stopped and seemed lost in her thoughts.

 

Molly put her hand on her daughter’s arm.  “It’s quite all right, dear.  All of that is in the past.”

 

 

 

Before I could even try to figure out the cause of Ginny’s discomfort the door to the Burrow opened, revealing Percy and his guest.  Audrey’s nervous expression was somewhat lessened when Percy took her hand and led her to the assembled witches.

 

“Mum, everybody, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Audrey.”

 

Molly warmly welcomed Audrey, and after being introduced to everyone she seemed more at ease than Percy, who still looked as if he was expecting the floor to fall out from under him at any moment.  When it came to Melody and I, Audrey seemed to turn into a healer again, as she asked about Lavinia.  I realized that her comfort was due to the fact that she wasn’t Audrey; she was in her Healer mode.

 

“To be honest, she’s doing better than I would be in her position.  She’s with James in the rocking chair…”  It was then that I realized that Lavinia hadn’t made a sound when Audrey and Percy had arrived, and when I looked over I realized that she and James were both asleep.

 

“It’s common.”  Audrey nodded towards the rocking chair.  “Such levels of stress are hard to take, regardless of age.  If she’s sleeping too much send an owl and I’ll stop in to check on her.”

 

Percy and Audrey’s arrival was the beginning, as shortly after that Hermione arrived and eventually Arthur, Ron and Harry.  Before all the coats had been removed and hung up Bill and Fleur entered the house with a very excited Victoire, who immediately went to the tree and began looking for her name on the presents. 

 

Bill laughed.  “Oh, to be a kid at Christmas again.”

 

A few minutes later when George and Angelina entered the house I could tell immediately that something was wrong, as the easy-going manner of George was nowhere to be found.  His face was dark and Angelina looked furious.  George didn’t even bother to wish anyone a Happy Christmas; instead he quickly went over to Harry and Ron.

 

“Those damned WLF bastards went after Poesy!  She and her family are fine, but they just about blew the house up.  This is out of control.  The Aurors and the Ministry have to do something!”

 

I immediately looked over to Lavinia, who was now wide awake and holding James tightly in her arms, which caused him to start wailing once again.  Her eyes were full of tears.  Before I could move Melody and Ginny were at her side, and after Ginny took James from her, Lavinia sobbed into Melody’s arms.  I looked over to Harry, and his face was grim.

 

Ron stood up and his voice changed into the Auror voice, the one full of tense command.  “Has the Ministry been informed, George?” 

 

“Poesy’s Dad contacted the Aurors and the Ministry immediately, and she owled me right after that.  She used some new products, ones she’s been testing.  That’s how they got out of it.”

 

Ron’s tone was brusque and businesslike.  “Good.  George, go see the Phillips family and take them to the second place.  Hank’s going to the first one.  Harry, the first place is ready, correct?”

 

“Yes.  I’ll send an owl now.  I’ll tell them to expect Hank in the next half hour.  We’ll initiate the emergency relocation for the Boyds.  I’ll have Lavender come back to the Burrow.”  Harry looked over to me and his face was stern.  “Hank, I’m afraid that Christmas is over for you and your family.  We need to move you to a safe location and take your family back home.”

 

“Safe location?  Return my family?  What the hell is happening?”  Lavinia’s sobs lessened, and my Dad came over and put his hand on my shoulder.  I ignored him and looked directly at Harry.  “What the fuck is going on?”

 

“Hank, I think your friends are trying to keep you safe.  There will be other Christmases.”  Dad nodded to Arthur, then went to my mom and hugged her. 

 

Despite Dad’s assurances I was beyond mad, I was livid.  “Where are you taking Melody and me?  I don’t care what you say; we’re taking Lavinia with us.’

 

“No.  You’re not.”

 

I looked over to Ron and his expression wasn’t comforting.

 

“Son of a bitch, Ron.  What do you mean?”  _I couldn’t believe it.  They’d already planned this shit out?_

 

“Melody, and now Lavinia, will stay at Grimmauld Place.  I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you before, but we hoped it would never come to this.  Hank, there is no debate.  We’re leaving in fifteen minutes, so you’d better say your goodbyes now.” 

 

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._   I began pacing, and without thinking I took out my wand.  Before I could take another step I felt a strong grip on my arm.  I snapped my head up to see Ron inches from my face.

 

“Put that bloody thing away.  You can’t control your magic and you’ll set the house on fire.  I am your friend, but I won’t hesitate to stun you if you don’t pull it together.  Do not push me.  Do you understand?”

 

I had never seen Ron like that, and it shocked me out of my rage.  I nodded and when he released my arm I put the wand away.

 

I hurriedly said goodbye to my family, received a strong hug from Lavinia and finally turned to Melody.  “Mel, I’m so sorry.  I’ll try to write you as often as I can.”

 

“No letters.”  Ron was once again at my shoulder.  “Now hurry up and kiss her because we need to leave.”

 

I quickly kissed Melody, and before I could say anything else Ron was pulling me out the door.  As soon as we got to apparition distance from The Burrow I felt the tug in my stomach and we were gone.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When we materialized I scanned the area; only a lone house set back deep against some trees existed on the snowy horizon.  A very large gate stood before us, its iron bars glistening from newly melted snow.  Ron said something out loud and the gates opened.  As we walked down the lane Ron was silent. 

 

“Where the hell are we, Ron?”

 

“Someplace safe for you.  Probably one of the last places they would ever think to look.  I never thought I would be here on Christmas morning, of all places.”

 

“Great, that’s nice and shit, but where _are_ we?”

 

Ron stopped walking, took a deep breath and looked at me over his shoulder.  “Malfoy Manor.”


	10. Holiday at Malfoy Manor

**Chapter 10: Holiday at Malfoy Manor**

 

Before Ron and I could knock, the door of Malfoy Manor swung open, revealing Draco Malfoy standing in an emerald green dressing robe.  We walked in silently, and then stood in the large foyer.

 

Ron nodded.  “Malfoy.”

 

Draco returned the nod.  “Weasley.”

 

I watched the two men look at each other, and neither seemed to blink for a long time.

 

Eventually Ron broke the silence.  “Ok Malfoy, we’re using the second code series.  I’ll send the first message tomorrow.”  Ron took a few steps towards the door and stopped, then looked back.  “Thank you.  We’ll be in touch.” 

 

He opened the door and walked out, leaving me standing there without a clue.  I shook my head.  “What a fucking mess.”

 

“That is rather appropriate in this situation.” 

 

I looked over to Draco, who was obviously not joking.  “So, can you tell me what’s going on?”

 

“Certainly.  If you would follow me I’ll introduce you to my wife and we’ll have a cup of tea.  I’ll explain everything then.”

 

I took off my coat and threw it over my arm, and then walked in silence with Draco as we made our way through the house.  The gloom in the place was oppressing; the halls were dimly lit and a light layer of grime seemed to cover everything.  It seemed like it took forever to make it through, but finally we approached a door that was brightly lit from behind, as the light seemed to seep out from around the door frame.  Draco opened the door and motioned for me to walk through. 

 

Immediately after walking through the lit doorway the atmosphere of the rooms changed from gloom to something that, despite the grand nature of the Manor, seemed almost cozy.  The area was brightly lit, partially from the very large Christmas tree in the corner but also from several wall sconce lamps.  A fire roared in the gigantic fireplace, which seemed to take up half of one wall, and warm light covered the wood-paneled walls.  No grime existed in these rooms, as the place was incredibly clean and well-appointed with antique furniture and several landscape paintings.  As we walked towards the sofa next to the fireplace I realized that we were not alone; a figure lay sleeping on the couch, covered by a large afghan. 

 

Draco walked over and leaned down, and shortly thereafter a woman with long, deep chestnut-colored hair sat up and smiled at me. 

 

“Professor Boyd, I’d like you to meet my wife Astoria.  Astoria, Professor Boyd is the guest that I told you might be staying with us.”

 

I went over to the couch and extended my hand.  “A pleasure to meet you, and please, call me Hank.”

 

“Very nice to meet you, Hank.  Please forgive me if I don’t rise to greet you properly.  I’m not feeling well this morning.  The baby is not behaving on Christmas, I’m afraid.  Please have a seat.  Draco, would you mind serving the tea?”

 

“Not at all, Astoria.” 

 

I sat down in a chair with an ornate green and gold brocade pattern that was arranged close to the couch and the small table, and received my cup of tea very thankfully.  “Congratulations to the both of you.  When is the baby due?”

 

“June.”  Draco answered, and his tone was one of a very happy father-to-be.

 

“Your first?”  I looked to Astoria, who nodded.  It would have been a pleasant conversation, but after a moment my mind flashed to the reason I was there.  “I’m sorry to intrude on your home on Christmas.  So much has happened that I’m not sure exactly what is going on.”

 

“I’ll tell you what I know, Professor, and then I’ll show you to your room.  I know you must be exhausted.”  Draco sat down next to his wife on the couch, and she leaned into his shoulder.  “Potter contacted me some time ago about possibly assisting the Aurors, specifically regarding use of Malfoy Manor as a safe house.  I was very surprised to hear from him, as we were obviously not friends while we were at Hogwarts.”

 

I took a sip of tea and tried not to choke on it.  “Not friends” was a massive understatement from the books I’d read and the conversations I’d had with several people.

 

“Evidently marrying Granger has improved Weasley’s brain power, as his plans were surprisingly well done.  I do work for the Ministry on occasion but I do not keep company with Weasley or Potter.  Even though things have…changed, some wounds are still too deep to fully heal.  The WLF would not think that I would help Potter and Weasley, and the reverse is true as well; we don’t believe that they would think that Potter and Weasley would ask for my help.  You will be staying with us until I receive information that lets us know that the situation has changed for the better.  Hopefully that will be soon, but until that time I hope you will be comfortable here.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, I do appreciate it.  It is a shock, though.”

 

“Draco, please.  And it is a shock that I’m not as you’ve heard?  People and times do change, Professor.”

 

His tone, while pleasant, did not conceal an undertone of disappointment.  “No, Draco.  I had a, um, discussion with Ron some time after you spoke for me in front of the Wizangamot.  We agreed to disagree.  I’m still in shock over what’s happened in the last twenty-four hours.  I’m sorry if I’m all over the place right now.  One of my students was attacked and her parents were killed, my fiancée and I are now her temporary legal guardians, another of my students was attacked but no one was hurt, and now I’ve had to say goodbye to my family and everyone and now I’ve ended up at your house on Christmas morning.  Oh, and I can’t write my fiancée while I’m here.”

 

“I understand, and I apologize for not taking all of the day’s events into account.  Thank you for not believing what they say, although some of it, unfortunately, is true.  That’s best left for another time.  Before I show you to your room I should tell you some things about this house.  As you can tell, we are currently in the new portion of the house.  Astoria and I added this wing not too long ago, as the rest of the house is, well, you saw it for yourself.  Not very pleasant.  Part of my mother’s will was that I was not to change anything in the house, so we have left it just as it was when she was alive.  There are several rooms that are locked, and for good reason.  I won’t say anymore on that subject except that if you find a locked door, please leave it alone.  You know about the Hogwarts ghosts, obviously, but I should warn you that Malfoy Manor also has a ghost.  If you see a man with long hair walking in the old part of the house, just ignore him.  It’s my father’s ghost, and no matter what we’ve tried he simply will not leave.  As your room is in the new wing you shouldn’t encounter him, but as I said, if you do just ignore him.  I hope you will feel comfortable here; my library is available for you at any time.  There is a project that I’m working on that I think will interest you, but we can save that for later.”

 

“Draco, I think you’ve gone over everything.  I’m sure Hank would like to rest.”  Astoria looked over to me and gave me a sympathetic smile.  “I’ve prepared a fairly strong sleeping draught for you; it’s the purple vial on the nightstand.  Blink, our house elf, will be available if you need anything.”

 

I sat my teacup on the table.  They were right, I was exhausted, in more ways that one.  “Astoria, Draco, thank you for your kindness.  I’m sorry I messed up Christmas for you.”

 

Draco stood up.  “You did no such thing.  Astoria and I have been up for hours.  Morning sickness, you know.  If you’ll follow me we’ll go to your room and you can settle in.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When I woke up the room was dark except for a very small lamp which glowed faintly in the corner.  The sleeping draught had definitely done its job, as I did not remember dreaming at all.  I swung my feet off of the bed and made my way to the small desk where I had left my glasses.  I sat down and took in my surroundings; even in the dim light I could tell that the room exuded a calm warmth so different than the older part of the Manor.  Cream colored walls contrasted with the deep grey curtains and other furnishings, especially the intricately carved wooden four-poster bed.  As prisons go it was definitely better than could have been expected.  I checked my thoughts; this wasn’t my prison, it was my refuge, and I needed to be grateful. 

 

My realignment of attitude was cut short by my rumbling stomach, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything in ages.  What was that house elf’s name again? 

 

“Excuse me, Blink?”

 

With a deep-sounding _crack_ an old, gnarled house elf appeared in my room.

 

“How may Blink serve you, Professor?”

 

Blink was very different from Nonky; his voice was deeper, his face was covered with wrinkles and his ears were much longer.  One ear seemed to stand at attention while the other drooped to the side.  Surprisingly he stood in front of me wearing an ancient green sweater-vest with the Slytherin crest. 

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Blink.  Astoria and Draco told me to call for you if I needed anything, and…well, I am hungry.  Anything would be wonderful.”

 

“Master Malfoy has requested your presence in the library.  I will bring you something in there.  Follow me, please, and I will show you the way.”

 

I walked behind the house elf as we made our way down the stairs to the large library.  As I walked into the warmly lit room Draco looked up from a desk that was piled with books. 

 

“Hank, I hope you slept well?”

 

“Very well, thank you.”

 

Draco looked over to the house elf.  “Thank you, Blink.  If you’ll bring everything we will eat in here tonight.”

 

After the house elf bowed and left I looked over to Draco.  “Was he wearing a Slytherin vest?”

 

Draco nodded.  “After the house elf legislation some years ago we formally released Blink from his service and hired him as a servant.  Astoria gave him one of my old jumpers from Hogwarts.”

 

“Interesting.”  I sat down on one of the leather sofas in the library and looked around at the walls; every wall was a bookshelf, there were no open spaces except for doors.  “I have to say, this is a very impressive library.”

 

“Thank you.  I admit that unfortunately my father’s interests have been invaluable, but assuredly not for the reasons he would have liked.  I mentioned earlier that I have a project that will interest you, and I believe there is no time like the present.  I’m researching certain property laws and acquisitions for the Ministry, specifically transactions involving Charles Flurbin.  I understand that your Muggle Studies class has also covered land redistribution during the time of the Muggle war.  Perhaps we shall gain some additional insight into the clues we’ve been given.”

 

“I hope so.  I’m supposed to meet with him in seven days.” 

 

“Then we have very little time.  Ah, thank you, Blink.”

 

I looked over to the doorway, and watched Blink walk forward balancing a tray in each hand.  The house elf placed a tray on the desk in front of Draco, hesitated for a moment, and then placed the second tray on a low table next to a shelf.  Without saying a word he bowed to both Draco and I, and before we could even thank him he apparated away.

 

“Not the most charming conversationalist, but he has come quite a long way.  I do hope you don’t mind if we work while we eat, Professor?”

 

“Not at all, Draco.  And please, just call me Hank.  Is Astoria joining us?”

 

“No, she is still feeling ill and has retired.  Now let’s get to it.  I don’t like cold tomato soup very much.”

 

After finishing our warm and hearty meal I was slightly depressed.  It was Christmas evening, and my parents were probably already at home while Melody and Lavinia were at Grimmauld Place.  I must have been very quiet, because finally Draco rose from his desk and walked over to a chair next to the table where I had been eating.

 

“I know this must be difficult for you, but I want you to know that we are doing everything possible to resolve the situation.  The Ministry has made your safety, and that of your family, one of their top priorities.”  He took his wand from a pocket and waved it towards a cabinet, and a bottle and two glasses arrived at the table.  “It’s a good mead, I believe it has aged well and we could both do with a glass.”

 

After pouring out the mead he looked at me for a moment before saying anything, and I felt slightly uncomfortable, as if I was being examined.  “I am sure that you know somewhat of my past.  With that knowledge, you also must realize how much Weasley loathed asking for my assistance.  I admit, I was not very anxious to deal with him, but the Minister’s correspondence indicated the importance of the issue.”

 

I took a sip of the mead and nodded, and Draco was right; the mead tasted wonderful, like the best wine I’d ever had but containing characteristics that I couldn’t place.  Before I could say anything he took a deep breath.  I had a feeling I knew what he was going to talk about and I didn’t want to interrupt.

 

“What you have read and heard is, on the whole, accurate.  My family has played a shameful part in the history of the Wizarding world, and I do not exclude myself from that history.  One of the reasons I believe Muggle Studies is important is from my own experience.  I grew up believing that those who were not of ‘pureblood’ status were inferior; that belief was reinforced at every possible moment.  That belief guided my actions and colored my views; leading me to choices that were…incorrect.  It was only after…”

 

He hesitated and looked away, and I wanted to step in and say something, but I couldn’t.  I knew about his involvement at Dumbledore’s death and at the end of Voldemort, but I didn’t know what to say.  I drank more mead and simply waited.  Eventually he turned back and looked at me.

 

“After everything that happened at the end of the war, I began to realize how wrong I had been.  Almost everything I believed was incorrect.  But times and people do change, something Weasley hasn’t fully come to grasp.  Potter and I have come to an understanding; we can’t exactly forget, but we do forgive up to a point.  I am not the same person that I was when I was seventeen, and I daresay that it is the same for everyone, but not to my extent.”

 

He was right, of course.  I was definitely not the same person I was at seventeen; time changes things.  “Draco, people change.  We can’t control how people view us, we can only be the person we are or are trying to be.  I learned that one the hard way as well.”  I thought about Janine for the first time in months, and remembered how I tried to be the person I thought she wanted me to be instead of who I actually am.  Then I thought about how Melody accepted me for who I am, which made me remember that I was in exile at Malfoy Manor.  “So this project of yours, and mine, I guess, let’s get to it.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

We spent the rest of the evening going through property transaction records; Draco researched recent transactions and I concentrated on documentation that detailed the events before and during World War 2.  As I had read in _Muggles Among Us,_ that ancient textbook, there were a lot of documents regarding wizarding property being abandoned due to Muggle wartime land use, usually with a promise of compensation from the Ministry of Magic.  Most of the documents were fairly straightforward, but one thing that kept coming up over and over was a name, Yadnow.  I found some stray parchment and began writing down all of the individual transactions that involved the Yadnow family, specifically Pernilla Yadnow.  After going through the books a second time and verifying my research, I realized that whoever Pernilla Yadnow was, she had lost a lot of land, especially around a Wizarding village known as Flatcook. 

 

After gathering my findings I walked over to Draco’s desk, which was covered in parchment.  After clearing my throat Draco finally broke his concentration and looked up to me expectantly.

 

“Find anything interesting?”

 

“Maybe.  What do you know about a Wizarding village called Flatcook?”  I could tell from Draco’s expression that he’d never heard of it.  “Ok, what about a woman named Pernilla Yadnow?”  He shook his head, and I sat down on a large stack of books next to the desk.  “Crap.”

 

“I don’t know about that location, Hank, but I can tell you that your Headmaster has been a very busy person.  In the last six months he has acquired several large pieces of property, and some smaller parcels, all of them at prices at a large variance with their current value.  He’s obtained them all at a very steep bargain, and he’s sold some of them for a large profit.  All of his land seems to be right on the edge of Muggle property.  There is one name that did stand out, though.  Flurbin sold a small parcel of land at a price that was almost a gift to someone you’re acquainted with…does the name Postle ring a bell?”

 

 _Postle, Postle…it sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it._   “Sort of, but I can’t remember.  Should I?”

 

“Interesting that you can’t remember, Hank.  Postle was the member of the Wizangamot who wanted you obliviated.”

 

 _Shit.  That idiot was back?_   “What the hell, Draco?”

 

“I am not sure, but I believe there’s a connection somewhere that we are missing.  Unfortunately, I can think of one person who might know the details, but it won’t be a pleasant conversation.”  Draco stood up from the desk.  “We need to go talk to my father.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The light from Draco’s wand bobbed as we walked through the almost pitch black hallways of the old part of Malfoy Manor, and I did my best to not feel as if I was walking in a Halloween haunted house.  As we walked further into the manor I realized that I actually _was_ in a haunted house, as we were on our way to speak with a ghost, specifically the ghost of Lucius Malfoy.  The only sounds were our footsteps and the occasional scurry of something I figured was best left unseen for everybody’s sake, but eventually we stopped in the middle of the hallway. 

 

Draco turned to me, and the light from his wand reminded me of campfire ghost stories, the ones where the storyteller put the flashlight under their face to try and achieve a spooky effect.  Unfortunately, for me, this time it wasn’t a Boy Scout camping trip, it was utterly real. 

 

“I will do most of the talking.  Try to limit your questions, as he doesn’t know you and we can’t risk too many questions.  Do you have your wand?”

 

“Uh, sure.”  I took it out of my pocket and held it loosely in my hand.  “I can’t do anything with it, really.  Why do I need it?”

 

“Father won’t question if you’re a wizard or not if he can see your wand.”  Draco took a deep breath.  “I should warn you, though; his disposition has not improved since his death.  I doubt he will be happy to see us.  At the end of the hall is his study, and it is usually where he stays.  It is his sanctum sanctorum, his place of power, so he will feel in his element there.  Try to ignore most of what he says, as it will be filled with his usual hateful invective.  What I am hoping is that, perhaps without knowing it, he may tell us something that will help us.  My last defense is to come right out and ask him point blank, but that is only after exhausting all other options.  He may not help us at all, but that is a chance I am willing to take.  Ready, then?”

 

Before we started again Draco waved his wand at me, but to be honest I was really too nervous to even notice.  Instead I just followed the bobbing wand.

 

If Draco’s speech had been meant to bolster my spirits it had failed miserably, as I was as nervous as possible without vomiting.  I followed him to the end of the hallway, and at a cobweb strewn large door with an ornately carved silver handle Draco took a deep breath and opened the door.  As Draco waved his wand the lights glowed faintly, as if someone had thrown a sheet over a lamp, but it was enough for me to take in Lucius’ study.  A large desk dominated the room, and above the desk was a dusty portrait of a severe-looking wizard.  Bookcases filled an entire wall, but most of the shelves were empty save for a few books haphazardly placed.  Everything was covered with dust, and I found myself having a hard time breathing.  The combination of my nervous breathing and the dust made me cough, then sneeze, and after opening my eyes from a series of sneezes I looked over to Draco.  He had ignored my physical issues and was concentrating on one of the bookshelves.  I watched an amorphous silver mist swirl, and then finally take the form of a man in a long coat with boots, his hair flowing over his shoulders, and in one hand he held a cane.  He walked, though it seemed like gliding, over to a position several feet in front of Draco and me, and I noticed that his feet did not touch the ground.

 

“Draco.  Why have you come to my study?  Do you have good news?  Is Harry Potter dead and the Ministry engulfed in flames?”

 

Draco closed his eyes momentarily and then opened them to look at his father’s ghost.  “Hello father.  Neither has happened.  I’ve come to ask your assistance.”

 

“My assistance?  You, who betrayed me, ask _my_ assistance?”  Lucius moved close to Draco, almost touching his face.  “Why would I assist you in anything?”

 

“I am continuing one of your projects, father.  I am trying to regain the Malfoy land the Ministry took from us during the Muggle war.”  Draco paused, and the silence hung as thickly as the massive velvet curtains that blanketed the windows of the study.  “So I can provide for your grandchild.”

 

“Grandchild?”  Lucius picked up his cane and tapped it evenly into his empty hand.  “So you and your traitorous wife have conceived?  Congratulations.” 

 

Lucius’ words held no warmth, as his tone was one of contempt.  I shifted my weight uneasily and rolled my wand in my hand and hoped that he would ignore me altogether.  As usual, I was wrong.

 

“And, my son, who is…this?  Judging by his appearance I take it you have hired an assistant for your research.”  He sniffed dismissively.

 

“Yes, father, this is Mr. Boyd.  He is working on the research with me.  We have just been reading and have a few questions for you.”

 

Lucius glided over to me, inches away from my face.  “I do not know the Boyd family.  I can see by your wand that you are a wizard.  Who are your people?”

 

I swallowed hard and barely managed to say “MacDonald.  Distant relative of Dent-Head.”  I felt as if I had been shocked with a cattle prod as my voice had sounded completely different; instead of my normal American accent I sounded as if I was born and bred in Scotland. 

 

Lucius snorted dismissively.  “Scottish wizards do nothing but drunkenly fight while wearing skirts.  I’m amazed you are sober enough to stand.”

 

Normally I would have been offended, but it was all I could do to not bolt for the new part of the house.  Lucius was nothing like the Hogwarts ghosts; they were genial spirits, but Lucius was something altogether different.  The word that kept coming into my head over and over was _malevolent_.

 

“Father, can you tell us about the Malfoy land that was taken?  I believe I have the land identified, but the records show that the land was owned by Priscilla Yadnow.”  Draco’s gaze did not waver from his father as he tried to steer the conversation to our goal.

 

“You had such promise, Draco, but now I see you have regressed.  The Yadnow properties are nowhere near the Malfoy holdings.  She and that horrible daughter of hers once approached me about joining them in a petition to the Wizangamot.  I would not allow it.  The Malfoys do not collaborate with the lesser classes.”  He then looked directly at me.  “But I see that you obviously did not learn that fact.”

 

“What can you tell us of the Yadnow family?”  Draco quickly looked at me and then back to his father.  “Anything might be of use.”

 

“Draco, Draco, Draco.”  Lucius shook his head solemnly.  “Why such an interest in the Yadnows?  You are not telling me everything, are you?”

 

Draco sighed, and his shoulders slumped.  His tone was defeated when he replied “You’re right, father.  I’m not telling you everything.  I’m hoping that the Yadnow family has no living heir, so that I may claim their lands as ours.  I am trying to secure the future for my child.”

 

 _A feint within a feint.  Draco was truly a Slytherin, and it finally hit me how being a Slytherin was not all bad._ “The records show that Priscilla Yadnow never had any children.  You said she had a daughter, Mr. Malfoy?”

 

Lucius slowly turned his head to look at me, and I instantly regretted saying anything.  The spectral form of Lucius focused on me for several seconds before turning back to Draco.

 

“Please instruct your servant to not address me unless spoken to.  As for your plan, there may be some hope for you yet, but I require something from you as a token of true intent.”

 

Draco’s shoulders stiffened slightly, and I realized that this was something he had not considered.

 

“What do you request?”

 

“If your child is a boy, a true Malfoy heir as is to be expected, you will name him Scorpius after my great-uncle.  If you promise me this I will help you.  Swear it!  Swear it upon the life of your unborn child!”

 

Draco nodded slowly.  “I swear it.  If my child is a boy his name will be Scorpius.”

 

A large smile broke out upon Lucius’ face.  “Your ill-bred highland assistant is correct, surprisingly.  Priscilla Yadnow never had any children.  Natural children.  Her daughter was adopted, and she married a wizard only slightly better than a squib named Postle.  They came to the manor, hat in hand, asking for help.  We turned them away without a word.  I’ve kept my promise, now I expect you to keep your part of the agreement.  Draco.”

 

I watched Draco nod, then he motioned towards the door.  “I will.  Thank you, father, you’ve been most helpful.”

 

The ghost of Lucius Malfoy turned and walked towards the desk, his form losing shape until the silvery vapor seemed to vanish into the wall.  I took that as a cue and walked to the door and held it open, and after Draco and I had exited the room and made it down the hallway I finally began to breathe normally. 

 

“I apologize for not telling you beforehand.  Let me fix your voice.”  Draco waved his wand slightly, and I expected something to happen, a slight twinge in my throat, but didn’t feel anything.

 

“Thanks.  How did you do that?”  I laughed nervously, as my voice had returned to normal. 

 

Draco laughed, and it was an honest, surprised and true laugh.  “Magic.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When we arrived back in the library, though, Draco’s mood was considerably darker.  He sat at his desk and ran a hand through his thinning hair.  “I hope the baby is a girl.  I’ll have to tell Astoria, and I don’t know how she’ll take it.”

 

I looked over from the sofa and put the property records on an empty cushion.  “Are you really going to name the baby Scorpius if it’s a boy?”

 

“I made a promise to my father.  I’m not going to break it.  Hopefully it will be worth it, though, as we now have a link from Priscilla Yadnow to the Postle family.  That doesn’t explain why Flurbin is purchasing large amounts of land at very low prices, however.  It does give us someplace to start.”  He took out a large folder of parchment and sat it on the end of his desk.  “These are the records for all of the parcels of land purchased by Flurbin recently; cross-reference those with the Yadnow land holdings that were surrendered during the Muggle war.  If they are similar, we might have something to go on.”

 

For the next few hours I felt like I was back in college working on a project that was due the next day.  Blink brought down a very strong pot of coffee, and the silence was only broken by the turning of parchment pages and the clink of cup and saucer.  Eventually my research was complete, and Draco’s intuition was correct; all of the land purchases made by Flurbin were adjacent or close to former Yadnow land holdings.  On several occasions the land was the actual parcel previously owned by the Yadnows, as possession had changed from Wizard to Muggle to Muggle and eventually back through convoluted means to Wizard.  After I informed Draco of my findings I expected him to be happy, but instead he was frustrated.

 

“If Postle wanted the land he could have bought it, but his family, as I know it now, is quite poor.  He retains his seat on the Wizangamot only through hereditary means.  Flurbin, although he worked in the Ministry for years, doesn’t have the money to make those kinds of purchases, which means that someone is funding this.  But why?  He’s sold most of the land he’s purchased except for a small piece.  What does he get out of this?

 

I took off my glasses and threw them carelessly on the table in front of the sofa.  “I don’t know, Draco.  All I know is that somebody attacked my students and I’m here at your house on Christmas Day.”  I looked at my watch and laughed sarcastically.  “Ok, Boxing Day.  All this research shit is well and good but it doesn’t change the fact that someone out there wants to kill people, most of all me.  Tell me how that connects and we’ve got something.”

 

Draco’s eyes widened.  “Merlin’s beard.  How could I have missed it?  Quick, Hank, how did the WLF or whoever it was know who was in your Muggle Club?  Before you say anything Potter briefed me, I know some details, so you’re not betraying any confidences.  How did they know?”

 

“The Muggle Club roster.”

 

“Exactly.  Who has access to that documentation?  The Headmaster of Hogwarts.  Flurbin sold one small piece of land to Postle, right near that village you mentioned.”

 

“Flatcook.”

 

“Right.  I believe if you look you’ll find that piece of land was once owned by Priscilla Yadnow.  We know that there’s a leak in the Ministry and at Hogwarts.  I think we’ve found them.  Now if we only knew why.”

 

At this point I was tired, my brain was swimming and I was tired of playing detective.  “Damn it, Draco, you’re telling me that my Headmaster is trying to kill me?  Fuck, I’ve got a meeting with him soon, and now I have to walk in there and be all professional while you’re playing Sam Spade?”

 

“Sam…”

 

“Muggle thing.  Son of a bitch, why does everybody want to mess with me?  Postle wants me obliviated, Flurbin wants to either fire me or kill me, hell, maybe he’ll fire me _then_ kill me.  I don’t know.  I’m supposed to get married soon and George tells me we can’t have it at Forthingsgate.  Shit, we might even have to postpone it.  Somebody better figure this shit out soon or I’m going to lose it.” 

 

Draco leaned back in his chair and looked at me for a long time.  “You’re right.  Why you?  What have you done to cause such a problem?  Why was Postle so adamant that you be obliviated?”

 

“I dunno, Draco.  I’m mostly Muggle?”

 

He pointed a finger at me and smiled.  “Precisely.  Not only a Muggle, but Professor Muggle who teaches at Hogwarts.  The author of a book on how Muggles and the Wizarding world can successfully integrate.”

 

“But I’m one point three percent wizard!”

 

Draco smiled and shook his head.  “For all intents and purposes, you are a Muggle.  Technically you’re a wizard, but the WLF and anti-Muggle groups don’t see it that way.  As for Postle, it is almost too easy and convenient of an excuse; Muggles and their war took away his family’s land.  It seems too obvious, but sometimes the simplest answer is the correct answer.  That is hard for a Slytherin to accept, you know.”

 

 _Holy crap, Draco was almost giddy.  What had I said?_ “Draco, are you feeling ok?”

 

“I am feeling quite fine.  I think I will accompany you to Hogwarts for your meeting with Flurbin.  It should be very, how should I say it, illuminating.  Until then, though, I believe it best if we try to get some sleep.  I need to check on Astoria, and I’m sure you could do with another good night’s sleep.  Or what’s left of it, that is.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I woke up later that morning to find a note on my bedside table.  After reading it through a second time I sat back and rested my head against the cool wood of the headboard.  So much for continuing the research, the only thing to keep my mind off of Melody and Lavinia, as Draco’s note said that he and Astoria would be out of the house for the next few days.  It was something that had come up quite suddenly, and he needed Astoria for whatever it was, so the long and short of it was that I was stuck in Malfoy Manor by myself for the next five days.  Well, not truly alone, as there was an old and irritable house elf and a fucked up ghost in residence as well. 

 

For the longest damn five days of my life I did nothing but eat, read and sleep.  Blink quickly proved that as a conversationalist he was about five hundred ways worse than Nonky, and I did as much research as I could, but eventually ran out of things to review.  In the end I scoured the library, looking for something to read that would take my mind off of things or at least keep me occupied.  The only thing that actually kept my interest for any length of time, and was large enough to take a while to read was a history of the goblin wars.  On the morning of the fifth day, December thirtieth, I had my tea and breakfast and finished the last fifty pages.  If anybody ever asks what the best form of torture is, I’m going to hand them that book.

 

I decided to actually get dressed, as I was expecting to leave sometime during the day.  For the last few days I had just stayed in a set of Draco’s pajamas that Astoria had been kind enough to drop by when I had arrived. 

 

“Blink?  Can you come here please?”

 

The ancient house-elf arrived, as usual, with an irritated look.  “Yes, Professor Boyd?”

 

“Can I have my clothes back now?  The ones you took to clean?”

 

“No, dirty awful clothes, not proper for Malfoy Manor.  Blink destroyed those.  Nasty clothes.”

 

I stood there with my mouth open for a while, and then laughed.  “You destroyed them?  Wonderful.  Now what the hell am I going to wear?’

 

The house elf walked slowly towards the wardrobe and opened a door.  “Some of Master Malfoy’s clothing.  I will adjust it after you’ve dressed.”

 

A few minutes later I stood in front of Blink wearing black moleskin trousers, a dark grey shirt, a black velvet jacket and smooth black leather boots that tied with enchanted laces, but pinched my toes as they were too small.  One melodramatic house elf expression later everything fit perfectly, but I felt as if I was an extra in some art house movie. 

 

“Thanks, Blink.  Next time you might want to ask guests if they would like their clothing cleaned or destroyed.”

 

I didn’t expect a response and I wasn’t disappointed.  Blink apparated away, and after looking at myself in the mirror for the third time I made my way back down to the library.  Instead of an empty room, though, Draco sat on the edge of his desk talking to Harry Potter.

 

“Shit!  Don’t surprise me like that!”  I walked over to the two wizards.  “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?”

 

Draco looked at me, puzzled.  “Are those my clothes?”

 

“Yeah.  Your house elf destroyed mine, said they weren’t proper or some shit.  Harry, I take it since you’re here something’s up?”

 

Harry nodded.  “We think things are a bit safer now.  We’re going to Grimmauld.”

 


	11. Meeting at the Ministry and Party Preparations

**Chapter 11: Meeting at the Ministry and Party Preparations**

 

My heart jumped into my throat the moment I heard Harry tell me we were heading to Grimmauld Place.  As I had nothing to pack I was ready to leave instantly, but my mother’s voice echoed in my head reminding me that I had to be a gracious guest.  I walked over to Draco and extended my hand.

 

“Draco, I can’t begin to thank you and Astoria for the kindness you’ve shown me.”

 

Draco shook my hand.  “You are quite welcome.  You’ve been extremely helpful in our research.  Potter will fill you in later, as I have an appointment to keep.  I will meet you at Hogwarts on the second for your meeting with Headmaster Flurbin.  I believe it will be very illuminating.”

 

I looked towards Harry, who was smiling.  “Harry, before we go I need to say goodbye to Astoria.  Will you excuse me for a moment?”

 

I made my way back to the large room where I had initially met Astoria and found her reading on the sofa in front of the fire.  She held a book in one hand and fingered a locket which hung around her neck on a thin gold chain.  I walked towards her and sat on the brocade chair once again.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Astoria, but I’m leaving now.  I can’t thank you enough for the hospitality that you and Draco have shown me.  I know that it’s not the proper way to do it, but it would make me very happy if you and Draco could attend my wedding.  It’s the least that I can do.”

 

She smiled at me and closed her book.  “I am happy that we could help you.  I am sorry that you had to meet Lucius; Draco told me about your visit.  Draco and I would be delighted to attend your wedding, just let me know the details.  Oh, it’s not in June, is it?”

 

“No, August.  Did Draco tell you about his agreement with his father?”

 

I expected a sour look from Astoria, but her face continued to radiate happiness.  “Yes, and that’s quite all right.  I’ve been looking through the family names and it was already on my list.  We’ll let Lucius continue to think that he’s won, though.”

 

I kissed her on the cheek and made my way back to the library, back to Harry, back towards Grimmauld Place and back to Melody.  When I entered the library both Harry and Draco stood up.  Harry looked towards Draco and held out his hand.

 

“We’ll be in touch, Malfoy.”

 

Draco shook his hand.  “I’ll let you know if I find out anything.”

 

I walked out of Malfoy Manor next to Harry immediately began peppering him with questions about Melody, Lavinia, the Phillips family and the status of the WLF, causing him to laugh.

 

“One thing at a time, Hank, one thing at a time.  First off, Melody’s fine.  She’s been a bit mopey, but taking care of Lavinia has kept her mind off most things.  Lavinia has her good days and her bad days.  We’ve been in touch with Kristine Tinney, more on that later.  The Phillips family is fine; George has been over there a couple of times, he’ll fill you in.  As for the other things, well, I don’t want to talk about that now.  Let’s head back home.”

 

After reaching the end of the long lane Harry opened the gate to Malfoy Manor by saying a word I couldn’t understand and waving his wand.  A few steps later he took my arm and we apparated, one of the only times I was happy to have that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The moment we walked into Grimmauld Place I smelled smoke, and Harry took out his wand and ran through the entry hall into the house.  I covered my nose and mouth with my arm and followed, my heart beating a million miles an hour.  _How did they get into Grimmauld Place?  Was Melody safe?_

 

When I arrived in the kitchen Harry was siphoning all the smoke with his wand, revealing a large frying pan that contained very crispy pieces of small, black things that used to be bacon.  He shook his head and at the top of his lungs yelled “Ginny!”

 

I could hear footsteps on the stairs and shortly Ginny came down wearing an old t-shirt and flannel pants with little Snitches on them.  “Stop yelling, Harry, I just got James down and…is that smoke?”  She walked towards the stove and removed the frying pan.  “I told Melody to let Kreacher do it, but no, she wouldn’t listen.  Have to learn to cook like a Muggle for Hank.”

 

I laughed.  “I guess that one lesson from my Mom didn’t do a whole lot.”

 

Ginny nodded.  “Yeah, since you’ve been gone she’s mucked up breakfast more than once.  I mean, the eggs were ok, but…HANK!”

 

“Just realized I was standing here?”  I looked at Harry, and he just smiled.

 

“Pregnant brain.  The other day I put two nappies on James.”  Ginny gave me a hug.  “We’re so glad you’re ok.  Where were you?  Mr. Auror over there wouldn’t tell me.”

 

“And neither should you, Hank.”  Harry’s tone was firm.  “Not right now, anyway.  Why don’t you go tell Melody her bacon is ruined?  She’s in the same room as last time.”

 

The door to the bedroom was closed when I arrived, so I knocked on the door.  Receiving no response I knocked again, louder.  I heard footsteps and then Melody’s voice behind the door.

 

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Ginny, I’m almost done.  I can’t get dressed?”

 

I took that as my cue and opened the door.  “You don’t have to get dressed on my account.”

 

Repeating her reaction from The Burrow a few days ago Melody ran over and jumped into my arms.  Several kisses later I sat her back down on the floor and took a look at her; she was wearing my Weasley sweater and not much else, and I have to admit I liked it.

 

“Uh, Mel, you burnt the bacon.”

 

“Its fine, I just put it on a few minutes ago.  Hang the bacon, did you just get back?”

 

“Just long enough to say hello to Ginny and find my way up here.  The smoke from the bacon freaked Harry out for a bit and me too.  We thought something bad had happened, but it was just your cooking.  You have to watch bacon closely, love.  They were all black and extremely crispy.” 

 

She laughed and then walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans.  While sitting on the bed she looked at me.  “Speaking of black, you’re certainly wearing a lot of it.  I don’t think that’s really your style.  You look like…” 

 

She finished putting on her jeans and then walked over to me, took a hold of the jacket and opened it up.  Not finding what she wanted on one side she opened the other.

 

“Ah-ha.  Just as I thought.  Care to tell me why you’re wearing Draco Malfoy’s jacket?”

 

 _Crap!  What was Harry going to say?_ “Um, I think we’d better talk to Harry about that.  Where’s Lavinia?”

 

“Nice change of topic, Hank.  She’s in James’ room.  We gave her a bedroom of her own but she sleeps on the daybed in there.  Ginny loves it as James has his own self-appointed nanny.  She’s been doing better, especially after Harry had a long talk with her one night.  Lately she’s been helping Ginny plan the New Year’s Eve party.”

 

“They’re still having that?”  I sat down in a chair and took off my glasses.  “And it’s ok that we’re at the party?”

 

Melody pulled her hair back and tied it quickly, then put on her glasses.  “Harry said his party is the safest place for us outside of Azkaban.  Way too many Aurors and other bigwigs, so security will be very high.  They’d never try anything.  Now let’s go downstairs, I’m hungry, you need to cook me some bacon and Harry has to tell me why you look like you’re teaching DADA.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Over properly cooked breakfast Harry relented on telling the women where I’d been after Melody told him her guess and her proof.  I explained my research with Draco, told them about Lucius and his deal about the baby name and also informed Melody that I had added two more people to the guest list, something she was surprisingly ok with.  Ginny, on the other hand, was still hesitant about the Malfoys attending the wedding, as she knew that some people would never trust Draco.  Melody and the Potters took turns filling me in about Lavinia, the Ministry had finally made contact with her Aunt, and that Kristine Tinney was due in London later that day.

 

“That’s one of the other reasons I went to Malfoy Manor today, Hank.  You and Melody will be meeting with the Ministry officials this afternoon, and I’ll be your escort. 

 

I sat down my teacup.  “Does Lavinia know this?”

 

Harry nodded.  “She’s nervous, but she knows that whatever the outcome it’ll be for the best.  She’s still somewhat in shock, and things remind her every now and then that her parents are gone, so be prepared.”

 

I nodded, as if I understood, even though I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle things.  Melody smiled sympathetically at me and I wondered what I would say when Lavinia appeared.

 

I didn’t have to wait too long, as Lavinia came downstairs with James on her hip.  After handing James to Ginny and giving her the rundown of the current nappy situation, Lavinia suddenly realized that I was at the table.  She was hesitant at first until I held out my arms to her, and she gave me a very long hug. 

 

“You look funny, Professor Muggle.”  Lavinia had an odd expression on her face.

 

“I’ll explain later.  And we’re not at Hogwarts, Lavinia.  You don’t have to call me Professor, Hank is fine.”

 

“Um, ok.”  Lavinia sat down at the table and looked over to me.  “It seems weird to not call you Professor Muggle.”

 

“Whatever’s fine, Lavinia.  Don’t worry about it.”  I took a sip of tea.  “Are you ready for today?”

 

After taking a deep breath, she nodded.  “I haven’t seen Aunt Tinney for a few years.  She’s more like a big sister.  When are we going?”

 

Harry straightened his glasses and looked over to me, then Lavinia.  “In a couple of hours.  Don’t worry, Lavinia.  I’m sure things will be fine.”

 

By the expression on Lavinia’s face I was sure that she didn’t believe Harry.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After signing in and receiving our visitors badges Hermione met us when we arrived at the Ministry of Magic; Harry had informed us before we left Grimmauld Place that the meeting would be in her office at his suggestion.  I didn’t mind, as Hermione’s office was one of the coziest places I’ve ever been in, outside of The Burrow.  Lavinia was quiet after breakfast, and I couldn’t get more than monosyllabic answers out of her when I asked her questions.  The only thing that had caused any light to flicker in her eyes was when she had talked to Ginny about James, specifically his nap schedule.  As we walked through the Ministry towards the elevator I thought that she might be in awe of the place, as I was on my first visit, but there was no response.

 

When we reached the elevator she surprised everyone by saying, to no one in particular, and in a very defeated voice “I don’t want to live in Australia.”

 

Melody put her hand on Lavinia’s shoulder.  “I know, honey.  Let’s wait and see what happens first.”

 

I expected Kristine Tinney to be in Hermione’s office, but when we entered nobody was waiting for us.  After we sat down in the extra conjured chairs around a small table Hermione made tea and told us that Percy would be escorting Lavinia’s aunt to the office.  We expected her at any time, which only lent to the air of anxiety in the room.  As I sat and watched Melody drink tea I thought about Lavinia’s situation.  I didn’t want to see her move to Australia, and I know Melody didn’t either, but her aunt was the only family she had left.  Who were we to take her away from her family?  One of her professors and his fiancée, hardly a common situation, and a situation that would have no bearing in the Muggle world, and probably the Wizarding world as well. 

 

Before I could stew on it any longer the door opened, and Percy walked in followed by a very young blonde woman.  I guessed her to be in her early twenties, so I figured that Percy and his assistant had arrived to tell us that there was some sort of trouble with the portkey or something.  After looking again I realized the young woman was wearing clothes that reminded me of Charlie Weasley’s dragon-keeper gear, as it was made out of some sort of hide, but instead of a long coat she was wearing trousers and big boots.  As soon as the young woman saw Lavinia she hurried over to her and gave her a long hug.

 

“Oh Vinny, I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

 

We watched the two blondes embrace and cry together, and I looked down at the floor for a while until I felt Melody’s hand take mine.  I looked up to Mel, and her lips were tight as she nodded slightly in my direction.

 

After Lavinia and Kristine Tinney broke apart Percy conjured a chair next to Lavinia and the meeting began.

 

Percy cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry that this meeting has to take place, and since this is not a court ordered meeting there really are no formal proceedings that need to be observed.  We do, however, need to come to an agreement regarding the custody of Lavinia Leda Ryder, as there are some circumstances that are somewhat different than usual.”

 

Percy made the introductions, and when I shook hands with Kristine she smiled.  “Just call me Tinney, everybody on the research team does.”

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Hank and this is my fiancée Melody.” 

 

When Melody shook hands with her I could tell that Tinney had the same tanned, healthy look about her that Petal Farnsworth has, the look of someone who spends a great deal of time outdoors.  I could also see the family resemblance to Lavinia, though Tinney’s hair was somewhat sun bleached.  Hermione handed Tinney a cup of tea, and we all sat down.  I could tell Melody was anxious as she was twirling her hair in her hand.  Percy cleared his throat again, but before he could begin Tinney sat down her tea.

 

“Mr. Weasley and I talked a bit before I got here, and I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for Vinny.  I also apologize for it taking so long to get a hold of me, it’s hard to get messages on the refuge sometimes, and well, I was way out in the boonies.”

 

 _Huh?  Refuge?_ “I’m sorry, what do you mean refuge?  Like a wildlife refuge?”

 

She nodded.  “You could say that.  I was out working with the bunyips, trying to do some research, and I’d been out by a nest waiting for the momma to come home.  Hard to catch them in their nests.”

 

“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m pretty much a complete Muggle, but what’s a bunyip?”  I looked over Hermione, who shrugged.

 

“Well, we think they’re a lot like dragons, that’s what I’m researching.  Trying to see if they developed from a common ancestor, all that.  But that’s not what’s important right now, is it?”  She looked over to Lavinia, who had returned to her anxious mood.  “Vinny, you know when I’m out there with the beasties I can’t take you with me.  You want to stay at Hogwarts, don’t you?”

 

Lavinia nodded slowly. 

 

Tinny gave Lavinia a sly smile.  “Don’t blame you.  Cracking place, it is.  Well, Mr. Weasley…”

 

“Percy’s fine.”  We looked over to Percy, and I thought I could see the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

 

“Right.  When Percy and I had our talk before we came to this meeting, and, well, I think we have a solution.  Since I’m your aunt, I’ll be your legal guardian.  But I can’t stop my research or I’ll lose my funding, and I don’t think you want to move to Australia.  If Mr. and Mrs. Boyd…”

 

Lavinia laughed.  “They’re not married yet, Aunt Tinney.”

 

“Oh!  That’s right.  Sorry.  Well, if they agree to it, they’ll be your guardians while you’re in school.  I’ll arrange things with my boss so I won’t have to do field work during the summer, so you can spend summers with me in Australia.  You don’t have to leave Hogwarts, Vinny.”  Tinney looked over to Melody and me.  “What do you think?”

 

“Yes, that sounds perfect.”  Melody looked over to me.  “Don’t you think, Hank?”

 

“I nodded.  I think that sounds good.  Lavinia?”

 

“What about holidays?” 

 

Tinney smiled.  “Portkeys are too hard to manage, not to mention expensive, for the short ones.  It’ll be easier if I come over here instead of you coming all the way to Australia.  Might not be able to make all of them, but I’ll try as often as possible.”

 

Percy pulled out two sets of parchment and sat them down on the table.  “I hoped this would happen, so I took the opportunity to draw up the documentation.  Tinney, if you would sign on the blue lines, Melody the green lines and Hank please sign the purple lines.  And yes, Hank, your Muggle pen will work fine, you don’t have to use a quill.”

 

After all the parchments were signed Percy took out his wand and the parchments turned themselves into giant paper airplanes and flew out of the room.  Hermione stood up and looked to Harry and he nodded.

 

“I think we should let Lavinia and Tinney have some time.  Tinney, when you have are available please let me know, as there are some arrangements that need to be finalized regarding other matters.”

 

As we walked out of Hermione’s office Ron walked over and conjured a chair by the wall.  “I’ll take them to your office when they’re done, Perce.”

 

Hermione stayed to talk to her husband, so the rest of us followed to Percy’s neat-as-a-pin office.  I clapped Percy on the shoulder before we sat down.

 

“You think of everything, don’t you, Percy?”

 

He smiled, but it wasn’t a warm one.  “Unfortunately, yes I do.  I also had other parchments drawn up for sole custody and Lavinia’s transfer to a new school, but I’m glad those won’t be needed.”

 

 

 

I looked over to Harry.  “Ok, Mr. Auror, what’s the background on Kristine Tinney?”

 

Harry chuckled.  “Figured that we would have checked her out, did you, Hank?  She’s a good person; younger than what you probably expected, but a good person.”  Harry looked over at Melody, and got a taste of what I get at home, as Melody’s face was in the _nice try, now do it correctly_ expression.  “Ok, ok.  She’s a lot younger than Lavinia’s mother, only twenty-one.  Attended Hogwarts for a year and then went to school in Australia when her parents relocated.  Mr. and Mrs. Tinney, Lavinia’s grandparents, passed away right after Kristine turned 17.  Automobile accident with drunken Muggles, it was a horrible scene from what the Australian Auror said.”

 

“That poor family.”  Melody took off her glasses and put them in her purse, and pulled out a tissue.  I watched her dab her eyes.

 

“Very sad story.  Kristine stayed in Australia, as she’s kind of like a dragon keeper crossed with Luna, always looking for stuff that is supposed to exist but has never been proven.  Right now she’s at the leading edge of trying to prove that dragons and bunyips, some Australian lizard or something, are descended from the same family tree.  Besides that, though, it’s happily boring.  Never been in trouble with the Australian Ministry, no alcohol or drug abuse, relatively well-off, has a small place in the magical section of Perth, but most of the time she’s in the outback at the bunyip refuge.”

 

“Boyfriends?  Nasty ex-boyfriends?  Enemies?”  Melody looked at Harry, and then to me.  “Need to know these things.”

 

Harry laughed.  “You could have been an Auror, you know.  No enemies we know of except for those in the Magical Creatures community, and they fight by politely disagreeing with long parchments that have endless footnotes and diagrams.  Two ex-boyfriends, one from school and the other from the refuge, she’s actually friends with both of them, and nothing in our research turned up anything out of the ordinary.  Her colleagues think highly of her, though they say she can be quite excitable and really likes to talk.”

 

That made me chuckle.  “Must be genetic, then.”

 

“I’ll take it on your authority, Hank.  She’s been very quiet at home.”

 

I watched Harry’s mood darken, and he leaned back in the chair.  At that moment he seemed very tired.  After a while he leaned forward and looked at Melody and me.

 

“One of the things we’ll need to discuss with Kristine are the funeral arrangements.  Unfortunately, Hank, the funeral will be after you go back to Hogwarts.  We’ll work it out somehow.”

 

 _Son of a bitch.  I was meeting with Flurbin on the second, and there was no way he would allow me to attend the funeral.  Well, if I still had a job, anyway.  If he fired me it wouldn’t be a problem._ “That’s fine, Harry.  Just let me know.”

 

Percy cleared his throat and stood up from behind his desk.  “I hate to break this up, but my schedule is very tight today, so I must be going.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After thanking Percy we made our way back to Hermione’s office and found Ron reading a book outside.  I thought he was engrossed in his book and tried to sneak up on him, but I should have known better; after all, the man is an Auror.  He shook his head at me and closed the book, putting it away quickly before I could read the cover.

 

“What’s the matter, Ron?  Won’t let me see what you’re reading?  Afraid I’ll tell Hermione?”  I pushed my glasses on the top of my head.  “It can’t be that bad.”

 

Ron looked around, then straight at me.  “Its one of those Muggle pregnancy baby book things.  I’ll give you a copy for yourself right after the honeymoon, that sound good?”

 

As I stood flabbergasted for a few moments, Ron kept looking at me seriously, and then broke into a giant smile.  “Just messing with you, mate.”

 

Melody rolled her eyes at the both of us.  “Boys.” 

 

We walked into the room and found Tinney and Lavinia talking quietly in their chairs, close together.  When they saw us enter they both smiled at us, and I could see the resemblance between Lavinia and her aunt. 

 

“I take it Mrs. Weasley wants her office back?  No problem, but where are we heading?”  Tinney looked to me, but Harry answered.

 

“Home.  You’ll be staying with us until it’s time for your return trip.”  He looked over to me.  “Nothing like a full house, eh Hank?”

 

“Sure, Harry.  Just don’t let someone who shall remain nameless cook the bacon.”  I felt Melody hit my arm, and Lavinia giggled.  It was good to see her laugh.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When we arrived back at Grimmauld Place the house was an absolute swarm of activity, as people were walking all over the place, moving furniture, putting up streamers with their wands, organizing the bar.  I’d forgotten that tomorrow would be New Year’s Eve, and that the party would be another big event.  Ginny carried a clipboard and had one of my ink pens stuck in her hair when she met us at the fireplace.

 

“I’m glad you’re here, I can use some extra help.”

 

Harry looked around his house and watched as a wizard levitated a table into place.  “Looks like you’ve got plenty.  Uh, Ginny, who are these people?”

 

“Staff from Rainbolt’s Magical Event Planning.  Since James is small and you decided we needed more children, I can’t do as much.  I’ve hired them.”

 

“Uh, Ginny, I think, um, yes, I, uh, you were a part of that decision…”  Harry Potter, the most famous wizard in the world, and one of the bravest, was turning several shades of crimson.

 

“Hiring the party people was my idea.”  Lavinia looked over to Ginny, who walked over and put her arm on Lavinia’s shoulder. 

 

“Bloody good idea, too.”  Ginny looked at Harry.  “Now you need to take James to The Burrow.  Mum’s expecting you, so off you go.”

 

“But I’m working.”  Harry looked over at me and I just held up my hands.  I remembered his comment about the Wrath of Weasley and wanted no part of it.

 

“I owled Robards and he agreed with me that with our added security needs it’s quite appropriate.  Now hurry up, if you time it right James will still be napping.  Oh!”

 

It was at that point that Ginny realized that Tinney was in her house, and she walked forward and introduced herself.  I watched Harry shake his head and a few moments later he came downstairs unsuccessfully, as James was quite awake and obviously not very happy.  As James screamed his head off Lavinia walked forward and opened her arms, and Harry gratefully gave her his red-faced son.  Lavinia walked with James for a while, and after talking to him for several minutes he finally calmed down.  She walked back towards the adults, who were all astonished except for Ginny.

 

“See, Harry?  I told you.”  Ginny had a triumphant smile on her face, and then looked over to Lavinia and winked. 

 

I looked over to Harry.  “I’m afraid to ask.”

 

Harry ran his hand through his hair.  “Ginny’s been saying we could use a nanny, and suggested…well, let’s just say I thought…bloody hell.  Lavinia, what did you do to make him quiet down?’

 

Lavinia smiled as James began to sleep in her arms.  “I told him some of the History of Magic lectures that I remember.”

 

All of the former Hogwarts students began to laugh.  Melody shook her head.  “I always knew Binns put people to sleep, but that’s ridiculous.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After much discussion and a couple of owls it was decided that Lavinia would stay with James at The Burrow, as Molly and Arthur were not attending the party.  The official line was that Arthur wasn’t feeling up to it, but the Weasley children knew that Molly didn’t want to attend in fear of receiving a shock akin to the prior year, when George showed up married.  Percy and Audrey would also be at The Burrow, and after extending an invitation to Andromeda and Teddy, as well as several British and American Aurors, The Burrow was deemed sufficiently safe for Lavinia.

 

After the youngest was safely out of the chaos of Grimmauld Place, Ginny walked into the kitchen where everyone was having a cup of tea, took one of my Muggle pens out of her hair and marked something off on her clipboard. 

 

“Uh, Ginny, you’re using my pens?”

 

“It was the first thing I found this morning as all of the quills have suddenly gone missing.  Well, I can’t remember where they are and we’re on a schedule.  Not bad, but it feels very odd.  Speaking of schedules, I believe we have some things to do.”  Ginny handed Harry the clipboard.  “Here.”

 

“What am I supposed to do with this?”  Harry looked at me, hoping for some support, but I shrugged.

 

“You are in charge while I’m out.  I have to find something else to wear as nothing fits, Melody needs something new and Tinney obviously wasn’t planning on attending a party, so she needs something as well.  We’re picking up Hermione along the way, shouldn’t be gone for more than four hours or so.”

 

“That’s a long time for a few somethings.”  Harry looked at me, and I began to laugh.

 

“I’m not going with them.  Do you think I’m going to Madame Malkin’s?  Bad idea.”  I looked over to Melody.  “Pick out something nice, and could you get me something as well?  Unless you think this is ok.  Or you want to get my kilt.”

 

“Oh no, no kilt.  And I’m not spending New Year’s with you looking like that.  I’ll take care of you.”  She gave me a smile that, frankly, made me worried.

 

After quieting Tinney’s protestations that she didn’t need to attend the party, that she didn’t have enough money to go shopping and that she really wasn’t a ‘girly dress-up’ kind of woman the ladies exited the house, leaving Harry and I alone in the kitchen.  Out in the other rooms we could hear the decorations and reorganization of the house, and I looked at my watch. 

 

“Ginny said four hours, right?  Think that’s enough time to have a late lunch at The Leaky?”

 

“Definitely.”  Harry stood up from his chair with a mischievous look.  “And to plan a few surprises of our own.”

 

Three hours later, after a long and extended lunch at The Leaky which involved several people who “just happened” to be at the pub stopping by to talk, Harry and I returned to Grimmauld Place.  Harry was happy with his “surprises” but the one person who was definitely _not_ happy was waiting for us in the study.  A red-haired pregnant person.  More specifically, a red-haired pregnant person with the last name of Potter.

 

“Where were you?  I told you that you were in charge and we come back and the clipboard is on the kitchen table, nothing’s been checked off and the head of the event planners had questions that needed answered.  If we hadn’t finished so early…I can’t even look at you right now.  Hank, take this idiot I married and go do something, anything, but stay out of my way.”

 

As Ginny blatantly rolled her wand around in her hand I watched her face become increasingly red.  This was obviously the Wrath of Weasley that Harry had mentioned the night before my brother’s wedding, and I was glad that I wasn’t on the receiving end.  I grabbed Harry’s arm and we went upstairs to his study, and after we’d closed the door and sat down I looked over to him, expecting guilt or remorse, but instead he began laughing.

 

“Are you crazy, Harry?  Winding up you pregnant wife, who just happens to be a witch?”

 

“You remember we stopped by the jewelry shop and the florist, right?  There’s a method to my madness, just wait.”

 

“You’re insane.  Flowers and jewelry are only going to get you so far.”  I looked at him, sitting at his desk, and he looked very confident.  “You’re crazy.  I’m going to go see what Melody brought for tonight.  That should be interesting.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I walked into the room fairly lighthearted and before seeing Melody said “We should probably pay rent, we’re here so much.” 

 

I didn’t get a response, and I didn’t see Melody right away.  I did see the closet door was slightly open, and after opening the door all the way I found her sitting in the closet, crying.  I knelt down immediately and put my hand on her head, smoothing away her hair from her face.

 

“Mel, honey, what’s wrong?”

 

She looked up at me and, after wiping away the tears, finally managed to speak.  “Everything.  Everything’s wrong, Hank.  Lavinia’s parents, Christmas, and…”

 

“And what, honey?”

 

“And my dress size went up two whole sizes.  Two!  I mean, I know I’ve been gaining some weight, but…”

 

 _Oh no.  I knew that if I commented on Lavinia’s parents, and how Christmas had gone completely awry, that I would spend a long time with her in tears, and would probably end up with some of my own.  I had to change the direction of the conversation._ “I don’t care, Mel.  I like it that you’re not a stick.  I’m marrying you, not your dress size.”  I sat down on the floor next to her.  “Hey, I’m going bald.  Nobody’s perfect.  I don’t want perfect, I want you.”

 

“But when we were in Madam Malkin’s, and Tinney tried on this little green dress…”  She wiped away some more tears and looked at me.  “I used to be able to wear that, and now I can’t.”

 

“I don’t want Tinney, I want you.  Now come on, get off of the floor and show me what you got.  Or at least show me what I’m wearing tonight.”

 

I stood up and helped Melody off of the floor, and I sat on the bed as she pulled down the garment bag from the back of the door.  After unzipping the bag she handed me a hanger.  The suit was dark charcoal grey, wool, and the tailoring was immaculate.  A new white shirt with a collar and sleeve length that magically adjusted to the perfect size also hung on a hanger, and a yellow and black striped bow tie completed the look.  There was also a bag filled with other things that I assumed to be socks, so I left that alone.

 

“Hufflepuff colors for the tie, very nice.  Uh, Mel?  What about shoes?”

 

“I like the boots.”

 

“Remind me to pay Draco for them.  What about a robe?” 

 

She walked over to the closet and pulled out something that looked very familiar.  “George had it sent over right after you went into hiding.  He said you could thank him later.”

 

It was my robe that George provided when he gave me all of the other Invisibles gear, the spell-deflecting robe with the quill and parchment design.  I felt better; in case something did happen at least I had the spell-deflecting robe.  I looked over to Mel, who seemed to be a little more pulled together. 

 

“What about you?”

 

“That’s a surprise.  Now you can either take a nap with me or go help Harry.”

 

I shook my head.  “Nap.  Even though Harry’s one of my best friends, there’s no way I want to get involved in that.  I don’t want to get hit by Wrath of Weasley, even if it’s just overflow.”

 

After taking off boots and jackets and everything else non-nap conducive we laid down on the bed and Mel snuggled in next to me.  It wasn’t long before she was napping, but I couldn’t sleep.  I kept thinking about Lavinia, Tinney and the upcoming funeral.  I also kept returning to my upcoming meeting with Flurbin; even though Draco had promised to attend, all I could think about were all of the bad things that would happen.  What would I do?  What would happen to my students?  And after thinking about students, how would going back to Hogwarts and the new custody situation affect Lavinia? 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

It was useless, I couldn’t fall asleep.  I eased off of the bed and pulled a Molly Weasley afghan over Mel’s sleeping form.  She was crazy; gaining too much weight…she was perfect.  I picked up my borrowed boots, opened and closed the door as quietly as possible and made my way downstairs.  After sitting at the kitchen table and putting on the boots I decided to get some fresh air and walked out to the garden, instantly regretting the decision, as the weather was horrible.  The cold calm of the day had given way to a blustery, biting late afternoon, and the clouds threatened either sleet or snow.  A small white tent, like the ones I knew from wedding receptions, was staked in the garden.  I thought that at least I’d be able to get out of the wind in there, so I went over, opened the flap and walked in.

 

Whatever I was expecting it certainly wasn’t what was inside the tent.  Instead of a small space suitable for maybe ten people it was a giant…event center, for lack of a better description.  Gleaming wood parquet floors stretched the length of the place, and I stood in amazement in front of the massive double staircase.  The upper floor was open in the center, giving a view of the dance floor.  Holiday decorations were speeding into place at the direction of several party planning wizards, and a witch was organizing the bar by levitating bottles out of their containers to shelves.  One wizard put his wand away and reached into his pocket and brought out…but it couldn’t be. 

 

As the wizard walked towards the door I followed him, and as he went around the corner, sheltering himself from the wind I smelled something familiar.  Melody would probably kill me, but under the strain and circumstances I rationalized it away.  I walked up to him and he nodded.

 

“I’m sorry to bother you, but could I bum one?”

 

He looked at me and smiled.  “Either you were raised by Muggles or spent a lot of time with them.  Sure.”  He handed me the pack of cigarettes.  “Need a light?”

 

“Yeah, thanks.”  I put the cigarette to my lips and he brought his wand up and lit the smoke.

 

“Name’s Paul.”  He held out his hand and I shook it.

 

“Hank.  Thanks, you have no idea how long it’s been.  I definitely needed it.  You’re right, raised by Muggles.  I’m barely a wizard, actually.  What about you?”

 

“Mum’s a witch, Dad’s a Muggle.  Got caught sneaking my Grandpa’s smokes when I was a kid, teenage rebellion kind of thing.  I should really quit, but…well, you know the drill.”

 

I nodded my head.  “Oh yeah.  My fiancée hates it when I smoke, even when it’s just an occasional cigar or the pipe.”

 

“Fiancee?  Congrats.  That’s an American accent, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah.  Haven’t been here in Britain very long.”

 

“Wait, I think I know you.  You’re the Muggle teaching at Hogwarts, right?”  He laughed.  “Never thought I’d see that happen.  Good for you.”

 

“Thanks.  What about you?”

 

“Ah, I’m just doing this for some extra Galleons.  Regular job’s at Eeylops’ in Diagon Alley.  Can only make so much training owls, you know.”  He took a long drag off the cigarette and blew the smoke into the wind.  “So what’s got you all nervous enough you’d risk an angry fiancée?”

 

I took a look at him, and he seemed like a normal guy, one of the folks I’d come to know in the little social circles of cigarette smokers over the years.  “Way too much to go into, but the long and short of it is I’ve got political shit going crazy at work, anti-Muggle idiots after me, some, uh, family stuff, we’re planning the wedding and my fiancée’s upset because she’s been gaining weight.  Happy New Year’s, right?”

 

He shook his head.  “Sounds like a load to me.  Look at it this way, in a few hours it’s a brand new year.  Anything’s possible, mate.”  He took out his wand, then threw the cigarette butt into the air and vanished it with his wand.  After holding out his hand he grunted.  “Snow’s coming.  Here.”

 

He handed me his pack of cigarettes and a couple of candies.

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

He shrugged.  “Need to quit anyway, no time like the New Year.  Start off on the right foot and all that.  Candies will take away the smoke smell, but only works for one or two.  Smoke the rest of those and you’ll be busted.”

 

“Happy New Year.”  I held out my hand, and Paul shook it. 

 

“You too.  Like I said, anything’s possible.  It’s a new year.”

 


	12. Weasley'd

**Chapter 12:  Weasley’d**

 

After returning to the house I felt much better and went upstairs to talk to Melody.  Paul the smoker had made me look at things differently; after all, it _was_ going to be a new year, so anything was possible.  Of course, remembering his words was one thing but remembering to eat the candy he gave me was something entirely different, so I made yet another blunder.  After waking up Mel I was in major trouble for smoking again, and she grabbed her clothes, shoes and everything else and informed me that she would be getting ready with Ginny.  _Wonderful_.

 

After a pass through the house I found out that everybody was either too busy or not available.  Harry was frantically marking things off on the clipboard, but with a quill, Ginny had retired to her room along with Melody and Tinney, the staff was finishing up last minute touches and even Kreacher waved me off.  _Crap_.  Well, if I was in trouble, might as well be in trouble all the way.  I grabbed a coat from rack and stepped outside to have another cigarette when I realized that I didn’t have anything to make fire.  I tried to find Paul but he was nowhere to be found, and none of the other witches and wizards would take the time to help.  _Fuck_. 

 

Finally I had a bit of inspiration.  I took out my wand and thought about all the crappy things that had happened, and then some of the truly horrible things that had happened and finally when I thought of Flurbin I waved my wand fire came out of the tip.  I quickly put a cigarette to my lips and lit half of the end of the cigarette; not optimal but it was at least enough to light it. 

 

I was lost in my thoughts outside so I didn’t see the person who came over and stood next to me behind the tent.  It was only after I felt a tap on my shoulder that I came to my senses; well, if you can call yelling at the top of your lungs and dropping a lit cigarette in the newly fallen snow coming to your senses.

 

“Holy shit, Charlie, don’t _do_ that.”

 

Charlie Weasley stood next to me with a crooked smile in a dragonskin overcoat.  “What, afraid the shock will kill you instead of those things?”

 

“With all the shit I’ve been through lately smoking’s the least of my worries.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, but…what are you doing here?  Don’t you have dragons to wrestle in Romania?”

 

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.  “Give me one of those things and I’ll fill you in.”

 

“You smoke?”

 

“On occasion.  Don’t tell Mum.  One of the French keepers smokes like a chimney.”

 

I fished out the pack of cigarettes and gave him one, and he took out his wand and created a controlled flame from the end of his wand much more perfectly than I ever could.  He tipped his wand over towards me and I lit my smoke. 

 

“Ok, so mister smoking dragon man, how come you’re in England?”

 

He exhaled and laughed.  “Forced vacation.  A new policy went into effect a couple of years ago, and I’ve worked so many consecutive days that even coming back when James was born wasn’t enough time away, so they made me take two weeks off.  Merlin’s beard, I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

 

“Enjoy yourself.  Just stay out of your sister’s way, she’s pretty wound up tonight.  I finally got to see what Harry calls the Wrath of Weasley.”

 

Charlie laughed heartily.  “She’s an amateur; you should have seen Mum in her prime.  Now _that_ was truly scary.”

 

“Well, there won’t be any repeats of last year.  George and Angelina are married and your parents aren’t coming tonight, they’re hanging out with Percy and Audrey and watching James and Lavinia.”

 

“Audrey?”  Charlie looked at me as if I had suddenly turned into a house elf.  “Who’s that?”

 

“His girlfriend.  You didn’t know?”

 

“Perce and I have never been really close.  Not a lot in common, but still…wish he was coming tonight so I could give him a hard time.  And who’s Lavinia?”

 

Charlie and I smoked several cigarettes as I filled him in on Lavinia, her parents, Audrey, the custody issues and everything else that had gone on.  I omitted things that would cause Rolf Scamander to show up and take me out, even though I knew Charlie was a member of the Order of the Phoenix.  Better safe than sorry.  He was as upset as I had been about all of the horrible things that had happened, but eventually he turned and clapped me on the shoulder.

 

“Took me a while, but I learned this bit from Dad.  Tonight we just need to enjoy the fact that we’re alive and with good people.  After a few of Bill’s Specials you’ll be fine.”

 

I shook my head.  “No way, I’m in enough trouble as it is.”

 

The mischievous Weasley smirk spread across his face.  “No problem.  I’ll give your fiancée a few Extra Specials and it’ll be fine.  I’ll see you later; have to go to Bill’s and get some decent clothes.”

 

I pulled out one of the smoke-neutralizing candies that Paul gave me and offered one to him.  After explaining exactly what they were, and how it wasn’t going to take care of things for me, Charlie took out his wand and laughed.

 

“Those things are rubbish.  You like peppermint?  Hope so, as that’s the only one I know.  Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.”

 

I did as he asked, and after a quick wand wave a flood of cool peppermint washed over my mouth, making my tongue tingle.  Charlie smiled, and then repeated the same procedure on himself.

 

“Don’t want an angry sister-in-law, especially as I’m an unannounced houseguest.  See you later tonight, Hank.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I returned back to the guest room and figured that I had plenty of time to get ready, so I drew a bath and settled in with the only book I could find, a paperback on the history of Quidditch.  To be honest I really just skimmed the pages, mostly looking at the pictures, but when the water began growing colder I threw the book outside of the splash radius and finished getting clean.  I wrapped a towel around my waist and stood and looked in the mirror, and there was no doubt about it; my goatee was getting whiter, especially around the edges.  Enough of that.

 

I fished around in the cabinet for a while until I found the spare enchanted razor and stood in front of the mirror.  _Why not?_ I turned the little knob to “clean-shaven” and touched it to my face.  Without having to do anything else I stood there with both hands on the side of the sink as the razor not only shaved off my stubble but completely took off my goatee; the hair flew up in the air and was magically sucked into the back of the razor.  Moments later I took a look at my face, clean-shaven for the first time in…seven years.  It felt weird, but I hoped that Melody would like the change.

 

After walking back into the bedroom I saw the little bag that sat on the bed, and I dumped the contents out, moving them around so I could see the individual pieces.  Mel had bought me a pair of black cashmere socks, a t-shirt that had a label on it that said “Hamilton’s Happy Pits” and promised to eliminate underarm odor, and then…something I was definitely _not_  expecting, underwear.  Not just underwear, though, but black silk underwear with little Hufflepuff crests on them.  Maybe the night would end better than I expected.

 

Once I’d finished dressing and straightening my bow tie I went downstairs, and the changes that had taken place in the short time that I was upstairs were astonishing.  Everything looked immaculate, the decorations were in place and all of the setup staff had completely disappeared.  Somehow music was playing softly through the house, but it seemed that everybody else was still getting ready, as I was the only one downstairs.  As it was New Year’s Eve, and I was probably still in trouble, I went to the bar and fixed myself a drink.  Astonishingly I found American bourbon that my dad always liked, so I took that as an auspicious start to the night.

 

I was standing by a window, looking at the small, white tent, still amazed at what I knew lay inside when I felt a hand on my arm.

 

“Hank, you know I don’t like your smoking.”

 

“I know you don’t.  Sorry, love.”  I turned around to face Melody, and the look on her face was priceless. 

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  How soon can you grow it back?”

 

“I thought you’d like it, Mel.  No more ‘furry kisses’ as you call them.”

 

She shook her head and looked at me as if I was another person altogether.  “I like the furry kisses.  You look…weird.”

 

“It’ll grow back, doesn’t take too long.  Don’t you want to kiss me and see how it feels?”

 

She shook her head vigorously.  “Not with your smoky breath.  I’ve told you before…”

 

“Mel, if I kiss you and I have smoky breath I’ll owe you a favor to be determined later.  If I don’t have smoky breath…”

 

“Ok, deal.  Shut it and kiss me.”

 

I kissed her, a good one, and when I looked down at her she was astonished. 

 

“Peppermint?  How’d you do that?”

 

“My secret.  You owe me one, remember that.  Now let me look at you.”

 

I held her out at arm’s length to look, and I have to say that I was definitely impressed.  Her dress was a very deep, rich red color that was sleeveless and very long, and the front was, um, interesting.  She must have subconsciously thought about Lavender’s girls, as hers were prominently, but discreetly displayed.  She was wearing heels as she was taller than usual, and her hair was subtly curled to frame her face.  The thing that got me, though, were the lips, as the lipstick was a shade of red that matched her dress somewhat.  All in all, damn, I knew I was a very lucky man.

 

Her face became worried, though.  “Say something, Hank!”

 

“I’m sorry, love.  You look stunning.  Literally.  Couldn’t say much for a while.”

 

She smirked at me, and I knew I’d said the right thing.  “Good answer.  You might get out of the doghouse yet.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

For the early part of the evening Melody enjoyed playing the “doesn’t my fiancée look weird now” game, and for the most part people agreed with Melody that I should grow back my goatee, but Hermione disagreed, as she thought it made me look younger. 

 

After a few hours the house and tent had filled up, as apparently every member of the Wizangamot was expected to attend because Kingsley was bringing some foreign dignitary to the party.  Mel and I walked around and I was surprised at how many people I knew this year; spending more time in the Wizarding world did have its benefits.  Eventually Melody mentioned something about making an introduction, and I begged off to get another drink.  As I stood at the bar and declined one of Bill’s Specials, George came up and put his arm around me.

 

“Thought that robe would look good on you.”

 

“George Weasley, fashion expert.  Thanks for sending it over.  Any big announcements this year?”

 

“No.  Had enough of that last year.  Do you know Mum still gives me a hard time about that?” 

 

“Well what do you expect?  She’s your mom.”  I accepted the bourbon and turned around to George.  “So how’d the shop do for Christmas?”

 

George cocked his head at me.  “Ah, checking on your investment.  Very prudent.  You’ve got some business acumen, despite all those nasty things they say about you.  Well, very silent and magically limited partner, let’s just say that we had our best Christmas shopping season of all time.  Here, let me give you something.”

 

George pulled my empty hand towards his and placed something in it.  When I took a look it was a Chocolate Frog card.

 

“Wow.  Thanks, George.  No, really.  Wow.” 

 

“Open it later.  For now, let’s go see how the preggers patrol is doing.”

 

As I followed George out of the bar area I couldn’t resist.  “Preggers patrol, sounds good to me.  I haven’t seen Angelina yet tonight.”

 

George stopped walking and I laughed at him, and then motioned towards the other room.

 

When I finally found Melody she was sitting with Hermione, Ginny and Fleur, and to be honest all of them looked too pleased with themselves to make me feel comfortable.  As I sat down next to them Hermione, as usual, couldn’t contain herself.

 

“Hank, have you seen Charlie lately?”

 

“Uh, I saw him before the party started.  Why?”  _What did you have up your sleeve, Hermione?_

 

“Oh good grief, Hermione.”  Melody rolled her eyes and looked over at me.  “She had me introduce Tinney to Charlie.  They’re off arguing about dragons and bunyips.  Well, not exactly arguing…”

 

“Merlin’s pants, Hermione.  You should start a matchmaking business or something.”  I laughed.  “Let me guess, you had a feeling?”

 

“Stop being horrid, Hank.  Yes, I did.  Now as Ronald is probably talking to Quidditch players would you be a dear and bring me another lemonade?”

 

“Lemonade?”  I looked at her strangely.  “It’s almost January.”

 

“That’s what the baby wants, so that’s what the baby gets.”  She flashed her puppy dog eyes at me, and I took her glass. 

 

“You want the same thing, Melody?  Plan on telling me any news?”

 

Melody threw up her hands.  “You guessed it.  I’m pregnant with some Quidditch player’s baby.  If I could only remember his name…no, you daft man.  I want another of Bill’s Specials.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

As the evening grew later I eventually ran into Harry, and after my easy-going greeting he grabbed my arm and pulled me into another room.  Something had to be up for Harry to act that way, and my stomach dropped.

 

“What is it, Harry?  Everybody ok?  What’s happened?”

 

“Hank, what’s the name of your wedding planner?”

 

“Pepper Brooksip.  Why?”

 

“She’s having a massive row with her husband in the library.  Can you stop in there and see what you can do?”

 

“Me?  Harry, it’s your house.  You’re…well, you’re Harry Potter.  Can’t you…”

 

“I’m still in trouble with Ginny, trust me, you don’t want to know what I had to promise to…just stop in there for me, will you?”

 

A few moments later I walked into the library and, sure enough, Pepper and August Brooksip were having a very loud and public disagreement.  Not knowing what else to do I walked in-between the two of them and held up my hands.  For the moment it stopped them, but then Pepper grabbed my arm.

 

“I don’t know who you are but what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

“Pepper, it’s me, Hank.  Professor Muggle.  Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

 

Her face registered shock, then recognition.  “Oh, you shaved.  Well, that, that man over there, he can’t keep his eyes of the woman with the red streak in her hair.  He’s practically drooling over her.  Just because I wouldn’t…”

 

I put my fingers in my ears.  “La la la la la, don’t want to hear any of that.”  I took fingers out of my ears and shook my hands at both of them.  “Ok, listen, this is a party.  Let’s just agree to get along tonight or take it someplace else, ok?”

 

Apparently August Brooksip liked the later request, as he walked out the front door and disappeared.  Pepper took one look at me and burst into tears, then threw herself into my arms.  As I stood there, shocked, George walked forward through the crowd that had gathered. 

 

“So, who’s this, Hank?”

 

“My wedding planner.”

 

George laughed.  “Well, I was looking forward to it, but now I really can’t wait for your wedding.”

 

After depositing Pepper with Margaret, the editor of _Witch_ _Weekly_ and Melody’s boss, it was announced via some very loud magical method as the voice boomed through the house that we should all make our way to the tent.  It was a surreal vision seeing the very large crowd make their way into the very small on the outside tent, and when Melody caught up with me we walked hand in hand though the tent flap.  If I had thought that the tent was impressive earlier when it was empty, it was nothing compared to its current state.  People were massed throughout, along the top floor by the railing, along the walls, everywhere.  As two Aurors entered the tent every eye went to the doorway, and one of them stepped forward.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Ambassador Sigrid Ibsen of Norway and the Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt.”

 

Kingsley walked in with a very pale blonde woman on his arm, and she was dressed in a large fur coat.  As the assembled crowd applauded the woman held up her hands for the applause to cease.

 

“I want to thank the Minister, the Ministry of Magic and Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter for their hospitality.  My official visit to the Ministry will occur after the holiday, so until then let us enjoy this wonderful event.”

 

After her announcement an assistant helped the ambassador take off her coat, the crowd began milling around her and Kingsley, and the party returned to its normal murmuring and conversation with music in the background.  While standing with Melody I noticed someone, and turned to her. 

 

“Follow me; I want to introduce you to someone.”

 

I held her hand as we made our way through the crowd, and eventually we arrived at our destination.

 

“Melody, I’d like you to meet Astoria and Draco Malfoy.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Following the introductions, which were quite pleasant, Melody and I stood and chatted with Astoria and Draco Malfoy.  We did receive a few odd looks, but none of it seemed to faze Draco.  Ron and Hermione walked by once and if anyone hadn’t been looking for it they wouldn’t have noticed the almost imperceptible nods of Ron and Draco in each other’s direction.  I did notice that Hermione seemed to hold on to Ron even tighter as they walked away.  When Astoria and Melody began talking about Astoria’s pregnancy, Draco took that as his cue to lean in closer.

 

“I can’t say anything specific, but I don’t believe you should expend any energy worrying about your upcoming meeting with the Headmaster.  Plans have been set in motion that should illuminate many things.”

 

“Thanks, Draco.  Basically don’t worry, be happy?”

 

“Precisely.  Very nice boots, by the way.”

 

“Sorry about that.  How much do I owe you for them?”

 

He smiled slightly.  “Nothing.  Please don’t let Astoria notice them.  I had them made by a man she suggested, and frankly I never liked them.  They look much better on you.”  Draco seemed to look over my shoulder and his expression hardened.  “Melody, Astoria, if you ladies will excuse me there’s a gentleman from the Wizangamot that I need to converse with briefly.  I won’t be long.”

 

Astoria and Melody nodded at him nonchalantly and went back to their conversation, but I watched Draco intently.  He made his way through the crowd, stopping to shake hands with an elderly wizard, but then continued on towards the other side of the room.  When he finally stopped he placed his hand on the arm of a wizard that looked familiar, but I couldn’t place the face.  I watched them talk for several moments, and then as soon as Draco began to make his way back over to where we were standing the other wizard downed the contents of his glass and walked straight to the bar.  When Draco arrived by my side he had a very tight smile on his face.

 

“Ok, Draco, do I want to know?  Or can I know?” 

 

Draco flicked a piece of invisible dust off of his formal robes.  “Common knowledge, as he’s a member of the Wizangamot.  Your old friend Postle.”

 

“Postle?  What’s he doing here?”  I looked over and watched Postle down his drink and order another.  “He’s really putting them down.  What’d you tell him?”

 

“The attendance of Sigrid Ibsen turned the party from a simple party to an unofficial Ministry event; if would have been bad form to not attend.  As for Postle’s recent increase in alcohol consumption, I can only assume it is because I informed him that I am endeavoring to restore the confiscated Malfoy land, and I encountered the information regarding his purchase of a parcel from Flurbin, so I wondered if he would connect me to Flurbin to do the same.”

 

As Draco was talking I noticed several people change directions rather than walk by him, and out of the corner of my eye I saw one woman jerk her date’s arm so hard that he spilled his drink.  I hoped that Draco hadn’t noticed, but it was obvious that he had.  He sighed and tapped Astoria on the arm, and she nodded.  After saying goodbye to the Malfoys they began to walk away, but Draco stopped and turned back.

 

“I believe you should find Potter and tell him that I’ve had my little conversation with Postle.  I will see you on the second.”

 

I watched Draco and Astoria wend their way through the crowd, and when I returned to Melody she shook her head slightly. 

 

“I still can’t believe that I just stood there and chatted with Draco Malfoy and his pregnant wife.  Bloody hell.”

 

“I know he did some bad things, but people change, Mel.”

 

“No, Hank.  It’s…I don’t think you’ll ever truly understand.  I’m grateful for everything he’s done for you, and his wife seems very nice, but…well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not related to him.  Can you imagine spending holidays with the Malfoys every year?”

 

Melody was right.  I didn’t get it, and in my opinion she didn’t get it, either.  “Enough about the Malfoys.  Come on, I need to talk to Harry.

 

We finally found Harry and Ginny after quite some time, and it was all I could do to not gasp, as they were talking to Luna and Rolf Scamander.  Ginny noticed that we had arrived and the introductions were made, and it was all I could do to not make any indication that I knew that Rolf Scamander was an Invisible and could take me out with impunity.  Luna looked at me quizzically, and then turned her head towards the side. 

 

“Your face is wrong.  Do you want me to fix it?”

 

 _Fix it?_   “Um, not right now, maybe later.  Harry, do you have a second?”

 

He nodded, and almost immediately Harry and Rolf walked over closer, leaving the ladies to eye us suspiciously.  I didn’t know how to say what I needed without letting Rolf in on things, but Harry made a pre-emptive strike.

 

“Rolf’s been briefed, he has Ministry clearance, so don’t worry about anything.  What is it?”

 

“Draco Malfoy just had a conversation with Postle, and now Postle’s been drinking like its going out of style.  Draco said to let you know that he’s done his bit or something.  He and Astoria left so if there’s more to it...

 

Rolf shook his head.  “I’ll take it from here.”

 

He left us without saying another word and walked over to his wife.  Harry and I watched Rolf speak to Luna, kiss her on the cheek and leave the tent.  I looked over to Harry, nervous.

 

“Do you think he knows?”

 

Harry laughed.  “Do I think who knows what?  That’s so vague it sounds like you work for the Ministry.”

 

“Rolf!  Do you think…?”

 

“No.  Keep it that way.  Now let’s go back to the girls before they become even more suspicious.”

 

When we rejoined the ladies Luna looked at me and shook her head.  “I’ll fix it now.” 

 

She waved her wand and I felt my face begin to grow warm, and then tingle.  In a matter of seconds I could actually feel my beard begin to grow, and I ran my hand over my face.  The stubble was poking through as if I had about a few days worth of growth, but then it kept going.  And going.  And going until I saw the shocked expressions of Melody and Ginny. 

 

“What?  What’s wrong?”  I looked at the women, and while Melody looked horrified, Ginny looked as if she was trying to prevent herself from laughing.  I put my hand up to my face and felt a beard, a big beard.

 

Finally Ginny succumbed to laughter.  “You look like Hagrid, except your beard is red.  And white too, you old man.”

 

Without saying a word to anyone I made my way to the loo and took a long look in the mirror.  Ginny was right, I had a big, bushy beard reminiscent of Hagrid.  The white streaks were definitely prominent in the curly red hair.  I looked like a wild man, but all dressed up.  Hell, I couldn’t even see my bow tie.  I quickly made my way back to Luna.

 

“You’ve got to fix this.  I can’t go back to Hogwarts looking like this.”

 

Melody looked dazed.  “Hank, I said I wanted you to grow your little beard back, but…”

 

Luna shrugged.  “It would save time shaving in the morning, but I’ll fix it.”  She waved her wand again, and I felt the warmth and tingle as before, but this time it wasn’t on my beard, I felt it all over my head.  I put my hand up to my face and felt my familiar goatee, only barely there, but when I put it on my head…

 

“AAAAA!”  Melody’s eyes were wide.  “Now you’re bald!”

 

Sure enough, I was bald.  I did have eyebrows, but that was about it.  I held up my hands and put my palms towards Luna.  “I think that’s enough for tonight.”  I turned back to Melody.  “Look at it this way, Mel; you’ve got a preview for when I get older.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

As the clock was edging closer to midnight I found myself at the bar again, but instead of bourbon I ordered a cup of coffee.  My fiancée, however, was thoroughly enjoying Bill’s Specials, which made for some interesting conversations after we left the bar area.  She talked a wizard out of his beret and made me wear it to cover my bald head, told Hannah Abbott that Neville was “a hot piece of bloke meat” and informed a Ministry official that he was completely slacking off at work and is a horrible manager.  After the man had walked away in a huff I looked over at her in shock.

 

“Mel, who was that?”

 

She took another sip and wobbled slightly.  “No idea.”  After laughing for a while she stopped and looked at me.  “Have you seen Tinney?”

 

“Nope.  Haven’t seen her once.  Should we go find her?”

 

“Definitely.  She’s like family now, plus I want to see what she thinks of Charlie.”

 

Before we found Tinney we found another familiar face, JoJo Velasquez.  JoJo was sitting in a small lounge area by herself, sipping chameleon champagne, and her heels were off and lying haphazardly on the floor in front of her.  Melody, without warning, sat in her lap, causing most of the champagne to spill on the chair next to JoJo.”

 

“Merlin, Mel!  Are you ok?”  JoJo looked at Melody as if she was insane.”

 

“Brilliant!”  Melody giggled and took another sip of her Special.  “You look like you got detention.”

 

I sat in a non-champagne soaked chair.  “Hey JoJo, what’s up?”

 

“Well, you trimmed that goatee of yours, that’s one thing.  I’m sorry, I just…it’s complicated.”

 

Melody laughed.  “Oh trust me, sweetie, I know complicated.  I mean, have you seen Hank’s hair?”

 

I took off the beret for a moment and JoJo shook her head.

 

“More complicated than that, Mel.  You heard the big fight between the couple earlier tonight, right?”

 

“Pepper and August Brooksip?  Yeah, I got in the middle of that one.”  I looked over to Mel, who had obviously not heard about it, and then turned back to JoJo.  “Almost a knock-down, drag-out.  Why’s that got you down?  Do you know them?”

 

She sighed deeply and pushed Melody off of her lap onto the side of the chair, and the two witches squeezed into the seat.  “I didn’t know he was married.  He told me he wasn’t, and then when I saw him tonight…”

 

 _Oh no_.  “So you’re the woman that she was talking about…”

 

“Yeah.”  She ran her hand through her long hair, and I watched the red streak that Pepper had commented on fall back into place.  “And then I saw this bloke who, well, let’s just say I wanted to chat him up, and when I went to talk to him he wouldn’t give me the time of day.  In this dress!”

 

As she had mentioned her dress I took a look, and if the guy hadn’t noticed what she was almost wearing, he must be married or had different preferences.  The very tiny black dress with the short hem sparkled in the light, and the front was low cut enough to make a lasting impression.  Before I could think of how to compliment her without making Mel angry JoJo stood up and collected her shoes.

 

“I’ve had enough.  2006 has to be a better year if this party is any indication.”  She kissed Mel on the cheek and I stood up.  She gave me a hug and whispered “How many of those has she had?”

 

“Um, I don’t know.  I know I’ve brought her three, I think.  Um, maybe more?”

 

“Merlin’s beard.  You’re in for a long night.  Thanks for listening, Hank.”

 

As JoJo walked through the crowd towards the door I watched several wizards, including George Weasley, take an admiring glance.  _Who the hell had shot her down?_   They must be insane.

 

As the caffeine had kicked in I decided to stop by the bar for something stronger, and this time when Melody asked for another special I told her that they were out of Bill’s Specials.  Not surprisingly she didn’t believe me, so when Bill Weasley grinned at me I stepped behind the bar. 

 

“Bill, can you make hers a really weak one?  She’s a bit sloshed.”

 

Bill looked at me and shook his head and began laughing.  “Make up your mind, Professor.  First Charlie tells me you want hers extra strong and now you’re telling me to make them weak.  Which one is it?”

 

“What?  Charlie told you…”

 

“He said you were having a spat, so you wanted them strong.”  He smoothed out his ponytail and grinned.  “You’ve been Weasley’d, Hank.  Ok, I’ll make them normal strength.  The weak ones taste awful.”

 

Drink in hand and with Melody wobbling alongside I started making my way through the crowd to find Charlie.  As the clock was moving ever closer to midnight people were beginning to put on party hats and bring out noisemakers, so it was a slow slog through the crowd.  I asked almost every one I knew if they’d seen Charlie, and I struck out repeatedly until I found Ron and Hermione sitting at a table.  Hermione’s shoes were off and her feet were in Ron’s lap as he rubbed them.  Hermione looked pleased as they sat with purple party hats that twirled little silver stars and intermittently shot up letters that spelled out “Happy New Year.”  Ron, however, looked like he was in hell.  If there was ever any indication that Ron really loves Hermione, I took this as a giant flashing sign, exactly like the one that was going off over his head.

 

“Hey, Ron, have you seen your brother?”  Ron looked up at me like I was an idiot, and I realized my error.  “Sorry, have you seen Charlie lately?”

 

Hermione looked over and responded brightly.  “Oh, just sit down.  He promised to sit with us when the clock turns to midnight!”

 

I pulled out a chair for Melody and helped her sit, then sat in the chair between her and Ron.  “I’ve been Weasley’d, Ron.  Charlie told Bill to make Mel’s drinks extra strong.  She’s a mess!”

 

Ron rolled his eyes.  “Join the club.  Bill sent the word to all the real bartenders around here that I’m not allowed anything alcoholic since Hermione’s pregnant.  I’ve been drinking sparkly water all night.”

 

“Here, you need this more than I do.”  I handed Ron my drink.  “Haven’t had a sip.”

 

Without asking Ron downed it in two or three drinks.  “What was that?”

 

“Bourbon and cola.”

 

“Do you think you have time to get another one?” 

 

Before I could attempt to find another drink for Ron I saw Charlie walking towards the table with a very pretty blonde witch.  “No, is that…”

 

Hermione smiled.  “I think she looks very nice all dressed up, don’t you?”

 

Charlie pulled out the chair, and Kristine Tinney sat down.  I could see why her dress caused Mel to go into a funk, as the emerald green dress fit her like a glove and showed her very slim figure.  Her hair and makeup were impeccable, and she looked completely different than the woman I’d met earlier, the one who hung out in the Australian wilderness chasing near-mythological animals.  As I noticed how Charlie was paying attention to Tinney I also started figuring things out as well; almost all of Melody’s friends were very thin, and she had curves.  JoJo, Angelina, Ginny and Hermione when they weren’t pregnant, and Fleur?  Well, Fleur was in a category of her own.  Hannah was the only friend of hers that I knew that was curvy, so it made sense.  I’d tried telling her that I prefer the curves, that I didn’t want to marry a stick, but I knew I’d have to reinforce it later.  Well, if she ever sobered up, anyway.

 

“How’s she doing?”  Charlie looked at me with that lopsided, smirking grin of his.  “You out of detention?

 

“You bastard.”  I laughed.  “Yeah, I’m out of detention.  Bald, too.”  I showed him my lack of hair and explained how it had happened.

 

“Ronniekins, you look great.”  Charlie laughed at his brother, who made a rude gesture that caused an immediate reprimand from Hermione.  After finishing with Ron she turned back to Tinney and the two of them ignored everyone else.

 

I turned to Mel and found her with her head on her arms, down on the table.  I put my head closer and realized that she was snoring ever so slightly.

 

“Well this is awesome.  Thanks, Charlie.  You probably don’t care, though…looks like you’re having a very good evening.”

 

“You could say that.  I never thought I’d run into her, especially here.”

 

I took off the beret and tossed it on the table.  “You know her?  How?”

 

“Well, I knew of her, but I’d never met her.  Her research has kind of split the whole dragon community, the whole bunyips are related to dragons thing has really got people going.  Its fascinating stuff, I’d read her research but I’d never met her.  No clue that she would be this young or fit, though.  Tragic that she had to come here because of her niece.”

 

The countdown for midnight began throughout the tent, and everybody stood up.  I shook Mel, but she wouldn’t wake.  As the clock struck midnight I watched Ron and Hermione kiss, and surprisingly Charlie and Tinney _really_ kissed.  I kissed Melody on the top of her head as she snored.  I sat back down and put my hand on her back as people began walking towards the dance floor, and I didn’t speak to anyone until a wizard stopped by and began laughing.

 

Seamus Finnegan looked at me pointed to Mel.  “So much for a repeat showing.”

 


	13. Meeting with the Headmaster

**Chapter 13: Meeting with the Headmaster**

 

 

New Year’s Day, to say the least, started like complete crap.  I woke up somewhere close to noon, surprisingly with my normal amount of hair on my head and face, managed to make my way downstairs somewhat clothed with a slight headache and had a cup of tea with Ginny.  At least I knew she wouldn’t have a hangover.  Lavinia and James would be coming back after lunch, and I had the rest of the day to try and figure out what Draco Malfoy meant by “not worrying” about my meeting with Flurbin.  Unlike most New Year’s Days in my life there was no college football, something which I didn’t miss last year as I was caught up in the newness of everything, but this year, with Melody snoring and taking up almost all of the bed I missed it horribly.  So much for nachos and chicken wings while lounging on the couch, instead I drank tea with a pregnant witch amidst the debris of the previous night’s revelry.  The cleaning crew would arrive after lunch sometime, so at least I didn’t have to help clean.  Besides, Melody had informed Ginny at one point the previous night that I was “complete pants” at cleaning. 

 

After tea I went back to the bedroom and started cleaning up, since the room looked like it had been hit by a whirlwind; in some respects it had, as Melody was awake long enough to undress, and her clothes were everywhere.  I still don’t know how she did it but one shoe was stuck in the ceiling; the heel had pierced the surface of the wood like a dart.  I pulled everything I could reach together and put it in a pile for Kreacher, who I was appreciating more and more the longer I spent time at Grimmauld Place.  While moving my clothes I felt something in the pocket of my robe and couldn’t remember what I’d put in there, but after digging around I came up with a Chocolate Frog card.  Right.  George had given it to me.  I opened up the card, watched the frog hop away, and after it landed on Melody’s butt I ignored it from there on out.  The card, though, that was a different story.

 

_Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd_

_First Muggle to teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  Born in an obscure country called  America, Professor Boyd discovered his magical lineage, and can produce magic, though its best if you’re not around when that happens.  Author of the book My Wand is Useless, and that’s not a lie.  At times a complete idiot who smokes too much and says a plethora of bad words, mostly at the worst possible time.  How he’s managed to become engaged to Melody Bramble is one of the mysteries of our age, right up there with how Rita Skeeter stays employed or why everybody doesn’t buy things at the best shop in the world, Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes._

 

I turned the card over, and the picture of me on the front must have been taken right after James Potter’s birth, as I recognized the rug.  In the picture I was snoring and slightly drooling.  At first I was mad as hell, but then after reading the text on the back again I realized that it wasn’t a “real” Chocolate Frog card, it was a George Weasley special.  I’d have to thank him for the present by doing something nice for him, and the first thing that came into my head was having someone give me a potion that would turn his skin blue.  For two years.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I left Melody and the Chocolate Butt Frog and went downstairs to ostensibly find something to eat, as it was well after lunch time, but in reality I just wanted to get away from everybody for a while.  The upcoming meeting was still hanging around my head, and even though I would focus on something different it kept circling back to the front of my thoughts.  After procuring some cheese and crackers I stuck myself in the library and put on my WUMP, shutting out everything possible.  I was walking around the library looking for a book to read, headphones on, when I was surprised by a tap on my arm. 

 

“Ah!  Don’t do that!”  I turned to look to see who it was, and Lavinia stood in front of me.

 

“Sorry Professor!  Didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

I took off my headphones and took a look at Lavinia.  She seemed to be ok, and she was wearing something that looked familiar.

 

“Is that a Molly Weasley sweater?  And when did you get back?”

 

Lavinia looked confused, but then the lights came on.  “Mr. Weasley brought me back early, James wasn’t ready yet.  Oh, you mean jumper.  Yes, she finished it when I was there.  Can you believe it?”

 

The sweater, or jumper, was made from black wool with a yellow L on the front, and the cuffs and collar were also yellow.  I would have to thank Molly later, as I knew that producing one of those sweaters didn’t happen overnight, despite her prowess, so she must have been working on it for some time.

 

“She’s amazing.  Want some cheese and crackers?”

 

We sat down in and for the next few minutes just ate some cheese and crackers, interrupted only by the thoughtfulness of Kreacher who brought us some soda; leftover cola from the party, something that I had missed more than I had realized.  Nothing like a good, cold cola.  After a while, though, Lavinia’s thoughts were obviously on other things, as she was very quiet.

 

“What’s on your mind, Lavinia?”

 

“Are you ok with everything?  I mean, you and Melody are getting married soon.  I’ll just be in the way.”

 

“If that was the case we would have never signed the paperwork.  Don’t get me wrong, you’re not a car, it’s not like we just made a business deal.  Obviously Melody and I think quite a lot of you, so that’s why we made the arrangements.  Don’t be worried about being in the way, that’s not how we think of it.  We wouldn’t have made the same offer for anybody else.  I’m just glad we can help you.”  I leaned forward in my chair.  “I’m going to be completely serious.  We can’t take the place of your parents; we’re not going to try.  I hope you feel like you can talk to me or Melody about anything, and I can guarantee you we won’t always have the answers, but we’ll try to find them the best we can.  We’ll figure things out together, ok?”

 

She nodded and looked down at her plate of cheese and crackers.  I knew it was an awful lot to deal with, especially for someone so young.  I felt the silence grow, but I let it stay, as I’d found that when I didn’t know what to say sometimes not saying anything was the best thing. 

 

“I know you and Melody won’t try to be my parents.  I still can’t believe that they’re gone.  I never got to say goodbye.  And school…what’s going to happen at Hogwarts?  Do you think people will treat me differently?”

 

“The truth?  Probably they will for a little while, mostly because they won’t know what to say or do.  Tell you what, why don’t I talk to Professor Longbottom?  He’s been through quite a lot, too.  He might be able to help you.  And Harry, I heard you had a long talk with Harry.  Yes, I know he’s the famous Harry Potter, but he’s also a regular guy who went through an awful lot.  Lavinia, you don’t have to go through everything by yourself.  Your Aunt Tinney will be back as often as possible, and even though it’s not as nice as sitting down and talking to someone you can always write to her.”

 

She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.  Obviously it was all rolling around in her head, and it was a lot to take in, regardless of her age.  I thought about Neville, all of the missed birthdays and holidays that he had gone through, and I was still amazed that he had turned out as he had.  I reminded myself to ask his Gran to tea soon, well, as soon as possible, and it was entirely possible that I would have plenty of free time on my hands.  And then I looked at Lavinia.  She sat on the chair, fingering the bottom of her Weasley jumper, and I thought of Molly Weasley and how she had managed to continue after the loss of Fred.  Stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on…all of those British things popped into my head, and I realized that even though I was a born American I’m a Briton by choice. 

 

Right there in the library, watching Lavinia struggle with the enormity of the changes in her life I made a decision; I was not going to give up on teaching at Hogwarts.  It didn’t matter that Draco Malfoy had some plan or ace in the hole, I was going to fight for my job.  I loved teaching.  I loved my students, and the one in front of me was a prime example. 

 

“Where’s Melody?”

 

Lavinia’s question brought me out of my reverie.  “Um, she’s upstairs sleeping.  We had a very late night, or early morning.”

 

“Can I go see her?”

 

“Sure.  She might not be very awake, but why not?  It’ll do her good.”

 

As she was leaving Lavinia stopped, gave me a very big and long hug, and then walked out of the room.  I knew that no matter what happened in the meeting I was going to the funeral, and if Flurbin had a problem with it he could jump off of the Astronomy tower.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Harry and I were in the kitchen discussing my upcoming meeting and my change in attitude when the kitchen suddenly became crowded.  Arthur and Molly arrived with James which brought Ginny down from her nap, and then later Lavinia came downstairs with a trailing Melody.  Melody wore an old bathrobe and her hair looked, well, it looked like she took a shower and then decided to dry it by jumping on a broomstick.  When we tried to talk to her she simply made grunting noises, fixed a cup of tea and sat down.  Luckily for her, though, nobody had time to tease her as Charlie Weasley walked into the kitchen with Kristine Tinney, both of them were still wearing their New Year’s Eve clothing.

 

Tinney walked over to Lavinia and gave her a hug, leaving Charlie to sit down next to his Mum.  I watched Molly, and she didn’t say anything, but I saw a small smile and her eyes flashed over from Tinney to Charlie and back again. 

 

“Why was there a Chocolate Frog on my arse?”

 

Everybody looked over to Melody, and before I could say anything everybody started to laugh.  I pulled out my fake Chocolate Frog card and passed it around, and Charlie said that George had done pretty well, but if the cards were actually produced like that then he would be impressed.  Molly gave Melody a hangover potion, and the rest of the time was devoted to filling in Arthur and Molly about the party.  I noticed that Lavinia was giving Charlie a very thorough review, and the closeness at the table of her Aunt and Charlie was not missed. 

 

As Charlie was introducing Tinney to his parents Melody leaned over and began whispering to me.  “I can’t find my other shoe.”

 

“It’s in the ceiling.” 

 

“Funny.  Seriously, where is it?”

 

“In the ceiling, Mel.  I don’t know how you did it, but the heel is stuck in the ceiling.  Nice bra and undies, too.  Maybe sometime you’ll actually be awake for more than five minutes when I see them.  You might want to have a word with Charlie, he told Bill to make your Specials extra strong.”

 

As soon as she heard that Melody picked up a biscuit and chucked it at Charlie’s head.  The biscuit hit him right in the forehead and fell off into his tea.

 

Charlie looked as shocked as everybody else.  “What was that for?”

 

Melody leaned over the table.  “Extra strong?  No wonder I feel like week old flobberworm pus.  I don’t even remember midnight!”

 

I sat back and watched the “conversation” go about as well as possible, with both Melody and Molly threatening to do horrible things to Charlie.  Arthur winked at me and I couldn’t even look at Harry as he was doing everything in his power to not break into laughter.  Lavinia looked at me questioningly, and all I could do was mouth “don’t ask.”  Eventually Melody got up, grabbed my collar and half-pulled me out of the chair, which caused Charlie to really laugh.  Melody pointed her finger at Charlie and warned him that if he didn’t watch it she’d be down later with her wand. 

 

I followed Melody upstairs and after reaching the bedroom she looked up at the ceiling.

 

“Bloody hell.  How did I do that?”

 

“No clue, love.  I was in the loo when it happened.  I came back out and you were half way on the bed, pointing at the ceiling and laughing.”

 

She sat down on the bed and let her body flop into the pillows.  “Please tell me I didn’t flash Seamus Finnegan.  I know he mentioned it about three times last night.” 

 

“Nope, and he seemed mighty disappointed.  You do remember meeting the Malfoys, right?”

 

“Yes, Henry.  I remember meeting the Malfoys.”

 

 _Uh-oh.  Time to tread lightly_.  “Good.  I’m looking forward to my meeting tomorrow.”

 

“I thought you were dreading it.  What changed your attitude?”

 

“I had a conversation with Lavinia today.  Kind of put things in perspective.”

 

“Hmmm.  Well, good.  Now where’s my wand?”

 

After locating Melody’s wand, which was underneath the bed, she used some magic and got her shoe out of the ceiling.  As she was finally feeling the effects of the hangover potion I filled her in on what she’d missed, and reminded her of things that happened when she was Specialed.  She remembered most of the things that had happened, and I only had to fill her in on a few details, but when she got to the Pepper and August Brooksip story, she shook her head.

 

“JoJo should have known better.  What’s that going to do for our wedding, Hank?  Really?”

 

“No clue, love.  I think we’ll have to do more on the planning, as my guess is that Pepper won’t want to be too involved anymore.  Nothing like having it rubbed in your face.  JoJo said that she didn’t know about August Brooksip, so I wonder what happened.  Actually, I take that back, I really don’t want to know what happened.  What I do want to know is what guy didn’t give JoJo any attention last night.  I mean, that dress…”

 

Melody’s eyes narrowed.  “What about her dress?”

 

 _Shit!_   “That’s a dress to be noticed.  I mean, uh, if you like that kind of thing, and, uh…”

 

“Relax, Hank.  I know what you mean.  I know who she was talking about.  Charlie Weasley.  She pointed him out to me and said he wouldn’t give her the time of day.  I guess he’s very interested in Tinney.”

 

“You can say that again.  Now can we get back to the underwear thing?  I liked it, when can you wear that again?”

 

Melody pointed her finger at me and shook her head.  “You’re a naughty professor.”

 

I walked over and flopped on the bed next to her.  “And I’m all yours.”

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Melody lounging around Grimmauld Place, as most everybody else was occupied.  She worked on a column for _Witch Weekly_ , as Margaret and Harry had decided that as nothing had happened since Christmas she was probably ok to start publishing again, which left me to read and ponder what would happen in the meeting.  Regardless of how others felt I completely trusted Draco Malfoy, and if he and Harry and Rolf had said I would be ok, well, then I would be ok.  Rolf…where had Rolf gone last night after Postle left?  I figured it must be something that would come out eventually or maybe not, but I knew that I wasn’t going to ask any questions about Rolf’s whereabouts.  Seriously I was just glad Mrs. Scamander’s “help” had worn off and I was back to normal.

 

Right as I could smell Kreacher’s supper begin to waft out of the kitchen Harry stopped in wearing a travelling cloak.  I knew what that meant.  I nodded at him and he left the room without saying a word, and I interrupted Melody.

 

“I have to go now, love.  You and Tinney are taking Lavinia back to Hogwarts tomorrow morning, right?”

 

She put down her quill and parchment and sighed.  “Yes, we are.  I wish you didn’t have to go, but I’ll be happy if I don’t see you tomorrow morning.  You will send me an owl, won’t you?”

 

I put my head close to hers.  “As soon as I can.”

 

She kissed me and then pushed me away.  “Now get out of here before I turn into a horrible cliché.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After saying goodbye to Harry at the Hogwarts gate I made my way back to my room.  Calliope sat on the shelf next to Edgar my raven statue, which seemed funny to me.  Hopefully she wasn’t trying to engage him in conversation, as I’d tried the same thing for years without any success.  I had just changed into an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt when I heard a knock on the door, and after opening it I wasn’t surprised at the guest.

 

“Come on in, Neville.  How were you feeling this morning?”

 

“Fine, Hank.  How was Melody?”  He smiled broadly and sat in his usual spot.

 

“Uh, let’s just say that I don’t think she’s going to drink any of Bill’s Specials next year.” 

 

“Hannah said that, well, um…”

 

I watched him turn slightly red and remembered.  “Right.  So is Hannah happy to be engaged to a hot piece of bloke meat?”

 

“She’s been teasing me all day.  ‘Oh Mr. Hot Piece of Bloke Meat, will you hand me a towel?’  Stuff like that.”

 

“Nice.  I can’t wait for your wedding.  That’s going to be a blast.”

 

“Speaking of upcoming events, are you ready for tomorrow?”  Neville fidgeted somewhat in his chair, a sign I knew meant that he was nervous.

 

 _Was I ready?  Was I really prepared?  Damn straight._   “Yes I am, Nev.  Actually can’t wait.  I’m tired of waiting; I want things decided one way or another.  Oh yeah, I need a favor.  Can you find sometime, not immediately, but soon to talk to Lavinia Ryder?  I think you might be able to help her out; she’s going to have a hard time of it.  It might not hit her right away, but it will eventually.”

 

Neville nodded, and his face was somewhat solemn.  “Of course, of course.”  Neville stood up.  “Ok, I should be off.  See you at breakfast?”

 

“Absolutely.  Remind me to tell you the bacon story tomorrow.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

As the students arrived in waves I sat with Neville and Cho at our usual spot for breakfast.  I gave them a somewhat abridged story of Melody Versus the Bacon, as I couldn’t tell them that I had been at Malfoy Manor.  They were both surprised at my appetite, as they figured I would be nervous, but I was starving so I put down quite a bit of food.  I watched the students take their seats and excitedly discuss their holiday, but when Lavinia came into the Great Hall I watched intently.  I concentrated on the Hufflepuff table, and watched as someone tapped Tosh Vestram on the shoulder.  She looked back and saw Lavinia, then got up from the table and went over to her and gave her a hug.  The two Hufflepuff girls walked to the table, and a lot of the Hufflepuff students went to see Lavinia.  What surprised me were the students from the other houses, specifically Peter Sawgrass from Slytherin, who stopped by to see her.  I guessed Muggle Club had more of an impact than I ever though possible. 

 

I looked at my watch.  Yep, this was it.  I stood up from the table, received good luck wishes from Neville and Cho, and headed towards the Headmaster’s office.  When I got to the gargoyles Filch was sitting outside of the office, but there was no sign of Draco or Harry or anybody else.  _Right.  Once more into the breach._   I walked up to Filch and nodded.

 

“Hope you had a good holiday, Argus.  I have a meeting with the Headmaster.”

 

Filch looked up but he wasn’t his normal, surly self.  He held Mrs. Norris in his arms and petted her softly.  “I’ll let you in.”

 

Something was up with Filch, but I couldn’t think of that now.  _No distractions.  Game face.  Think of football games and baseball right before they start and Melody and Lavinia.  I can do this._

 

After Filch gave the password to the gargoyles he walked away, and the door creaked open.  I took a deep breath and walked through the door.  Now or never.

 

Flurbin sat at his desk reading parchment, barely noticed my entry and pointed to a chair in front of his desk.  He kept reading the parchment for quite some time, giving me a chance to verify one of Neville’s comments from his meeting after his engagement absence.  Neville was right, all of the portraits had some black cloth over them and I couldn’t see who was who.  I knew that Dumbledore’s portrait used to be prominently displayed very close to the Headmaster’s desk, but a small portrait was in that place, so obviously Flurbin had moved things around.

 

I looked at my watch and ten minutes passed before Flurbin deigned to pay me any attention.  He cleared his throat, stroked his stupid mustache and then stood up and paced around the office for a bit.  While he was pacing, obviously trying to utilize some sort of intimidation tactics, I heard footsteps.  I turned around to see who had entered, so I missed the initial reaction of Flurbin, something I had been anticipating.  Draco Malfoy, in typical all black clothing and wearing a simple black robe, walked into the room.  I had expected that, but what I hadn’t expected was to see Ron Weasley and an older Auror.  Well, I assumed he was an Auror, as he had on an Auror robe and looked like he was somebody you didn’t want to trifle with.

 

“What is the meaning of this interruption?  And how did you get into my office!”  Flurbin’s tone was thunderous, and for a brief moment I thought things might go horribly, horribly wrong. 

 

Draco sat down in the chair next to me without being asked and crossed his legs effortlessly.  “All Hogwarts passwords after the war are notated in a file at the Ministry, only to be utilized upon special occasions or in the event of an emergency.  While I do not believe this meeting falls under the latter category, the former definition is appropriate.  Currently we are here in the capacity of observers.  If you would care to continue on we would be more than willing to listen.  Aurors Robards and Weasley are here in an observational capacity as well.  Please continue, Headmaster.”

 

Whatever tactical advantage Flurbin had hoped to gain by playing the waiting game was gone, so he sat down quickly and unrolled a parchment.

 

“Mr. Boyd, your employment at Hogwarts has been controversial to say the least.  While I had no say over your position when I became Headmaster, I do have control over the direction of this school.  Let’s review your records since the beginning of the school year.  You had no assigned textbook for the students.  When you organized Muggle Club you failed to produce all required documentation, resulting in my having no choice but to shut down the club as an illegal student organization.  Your actions as an instructor, let alone Head of Hufflepuff house have been suspect at the best.  You have invited outside agitators to foster animosity between the Quidditch teams, you suggested to a colleague that he leave the grounds without asking permission or informing the Headmaster.  Leaving grounds without notice or permission is something you must take lightly, as over a Muggle holiday called Tanksgiving you left for several hours.  You have used the Hogwarts facilities for your own personal use, interviewing with a cheap, classless gossip magazine and planning your wedding.  You have flaunted your irresponsible actions by secretly planning a Christmas party and an unauthorized field trip for your illegal Muggle Club.  When I taught your classes during your illness, and I seriously doubt you were actually ill, you were not utilizing the assigned textbook.  Furthermore, while in your classroom I found a container full of illegal Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes items!  To add the icing to the cake your personal habit of using foul language simply does not meet my expectations.  I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you have shown yourself lacking in all of the Three D’s.  You have no discipline, no dedication, and without those it is impossible for you to develop into anything approaching a competent educational professional.”

 

 _Well.  Pretty much as I expected._   I looked at him and nodded.  “Close.  It’s called Thanksgiving, not Tanksgiving.  I’m pretty sure the American Wizarding community celebrates it as well.  Muggle Club has requested a field trip but I have made no such promise.  I’m quite interested in how you found that out, as I’m pretty sure nobody outside of Muggle Club has said anything about it.”

 

Flurbin began to blast at me, I saw him take a deeply offended breath, but he was stopped by Draco holding up his hand.  “ _Professor_ Boyd, I think I should stop you there.  The Muggle Club, though, that does raise some interesting questions.  Headmaster, do you have any idea how the Muggle Club charter could have found its way outside of Hogwarts’ grounds?”

 

Flurbin’s eyes opened slightly wider, but he went back on the offensive.  “I don’t have to answer your questions!  This is my meeting!”

 

The older Auror who stood next to Ron stepped forward.  “Actually, you do.  Please answer Mr. Malfoy’s question.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  Flurbin sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

 

“Interesting.”  Draco’s tone was one of amusement.  “Obviously a very large part of the Headmaster’s position is paperwork, is it not?”

 

“Of course.  All the records have to be kept in order.  Discipline and dedication are required, something you’ve failed at before, Mr. Malfoy.”

 

 _Oh shit_.  I had a feeling that was a bad tactical move, insulting Draco, and I looked over to him expecting some response.  Instead Draco simply looked at Flurbin with a blank expression.  Eventually Draco reached down into the pocket of his robe and brought out several rolls of parchment. 

 

“Interesting that you speak of the dedication and discipline of paperwork, Headmaster, as we’ve found some troubling inconsistencies with your paperwork regarding some land acquisitions.”

 

“That has nothing to do with this meeting!  We are discussing Mr. Boyd’s termination!”  Flurbin stood up and glared at Draco.  The older Auror almost imperceptibly moved closer to the desk.

 

“Actually, Headmaster, it does.”  Draco unrolled a parchment.  “You’ve accused _Professor_ Boyd of several things, mostly regarding paperwork, or lack thereof.  I find it very hard to take your concerns as seriously as you obviously take them, as after all, your documentation has serious gaps.  In the places between the gaps, though, we find complete fabrication.  Let’s take this example.  You purchased land parcel A-798 near Flatcook for two thousand Muggle pounds from Herbert Stamper.  Mr. Stamper, a Muggle, has no recollection of ever owning the land, let alone selling it.  Examination by the Ministry has proven that Mr. Stamper was confunded, a clear breach of Wizarding law.  Bank records from Mr. Stamper’s personal and business accounts indicate that no deposits have been made that could not be traced to their Muggle origins.  In reality, you’ve acquired the land illegally and without payment.”

 

“All lies!”  Flurbin took a step to move around the desk but was brought short by the end of the older Auror’s wand.  He moved back gingerly. 

 

I looked over to Draco who simply shrugged.  “A matter of opinion, but I am working with facts, one fact in particular.  The Muggle Charter, a document of such importance that it is a part of your evidence against _Professor_ Boyd, was found in the possession of an organization called the Wizard Liberation Front, in common parlance the WLF.  For the record the WLF is an organization dedicated to ridding the world of Muggles, and the organization has targeted _Professor_ Boyd on several occasions.  Once again, Headmaster, do you know how the Muggle Club charter ended up not in your possession, but in an illegal organization’s possession?”

 

Flurbin stammered for a minute, but stopped immediately when Ron stepped forward. 

 

“I’ve had enough of the niceties.  Flurbin, we have a confession from Irving Postle that names you as a member of a conspiracy to purchase land illegally from Muggles, mostly around some village I’ve never heard of called Flatcook.  Postle helped get you this position somehow, you sold him off a piece of land on the cheap, you gave him a copy of the Muggle charter and you’ve been buying land left and right with money someone’s obviously giving you, because if you had any money you’d pay someone to trim that ridiculous mustache.  Part of your deal was that you’d give up the Muggle charter and anything else on Professor Muggle, so if you want to give us the name of your contact in the WLF that’s giving you the gold to buy the land and what you do with the gold you get after selling the land, that’ll help, but not too much because we’ve also got you and Postle making plans on New Year’s Eve on how to off Professor Muggle after you’ve sacked him.  Now hand over your wand, because no matter what you say you’re under arrest.”

 

Before another word could be said Flurbin reached for his wand, but not in the calm manner of a surrendering wizard.  That was enough for the older Auror, and one fast stunning spell later Flurbin lay face first upon the Headmaster’s desk.

 

“I love it when they do that.  Makes things fun.”  The older Auror looked over to Ron and smiled.  “Weasley, remember to let the perpetrator talk.  Usually they implicate themselves.  And the mustache line?  I’ll buy you a firewhiskey for that one.”

 

As Ron introduced me to Gawain Robards, the head of the Auror Office, I couldn’t believe it.  Not only was I not going to be fired, the Headmaster who had made my life hell was going to jail! 

 

“So, Professor Boyd, what do you think?”  Robards looked at me and had a large smirk on his face.

 

“Holy fucking shit!”  I shook my head.  “I mean…sonofabitch!”

 

Ron elbowed Robards.  “Flurbin got the swearing thing right.”

 

“And while he may have some items in his litany of transgressions that are literally against the rules, there are always mitigating circumstances that must be taken into consideration, such as not using the approved Muggle Studies textbook.  That textbook was outdated when I attended Hogwarts.”  Draco stood next to me and smiled.

 

“Speak English, Malfoy.”  Ron rolled his eyes.  “Seriously.”

 

Robards smacked Ron on the arm.  “You two lovebirds can have fun later.  Malfoy, send the Ministry your message.  Weasley, make sure Mr. Mustache over there is secured.  Professor Pottymouth and I are going to take care of the portraits.  Now move, slackers.  You know after they get the message we’re going to have company.”

 

As Draco used the fireplace and Ron took obvious delight incapacitating Flurbin, Robards and I pulled black cloth off of the portraits, causing the illustrated headmasters to blink at us and say several choice words, specifically some of the older ones.  When I reached a large frame and pulled down the cloth the smiling face of Minerva McGonagall looked back at me. 

 

“Ah, Hank!  So happy to see you.  I take it that horrible man is no longer in charge?”

 

“Nice to see you too, Minerva.  Yeah, I don’t believe he’s in charge anymore, since he’s under arrest.  What was the black stuff over your portrait?”

 

“Enchanted darkness cloth.”  Gawain Robards stood next to me.  “Flurbin wanted to keep everyone in the dark, literally.”

 

“How nice to see you again, Gawain.  Thank you for your assistance.”  Minerva petted her cat and smiled at us.  “I take it the Ministry is aware of the situation?”

 

“Big cheese is probably en route, so you can ask him yourself.”

 

However long I was in the Wizarding world I would probably never call Kingsley Shacklebolt “the big cheese.”  I kept uncovering portraits until I found Dumbledore’s frame on a wall facing a cabinet.  I removed the cloth and my anticipated conversation with the former Headmaster was a large letdown, as he was nowhere to be found.  Oh well.  After collecting all of the cloths I dumped them on the floor near Ron, and watched as he put them all in a bag with his wand and sealed the top of the bag with a flourish. 

 

He nodded towards the bag.  “Evidence.  Special seal at the top and all that.  So, Hank, how’s your first day back from holiday gone so far?”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

As I sat in a chair around another large conjured table Kingsley Shacklebolt talked as quietly as his booming voice would allow with a member of the Hogwarts Board of Governors.  It was telling that with their deep voices Flurbin and Kingsley couldn’t be farther apart in how they chose to employ them.  After looking at his watch for a third time Kingsley looked towards Ron, who shook his head negatively.  That must have been the signal, as Kingsley stood up and the room quieted.

 

“It appears that we will have to conduct our business without the benefit of Governor Haddingspot’s presence.  Before you all arrived this morning you received a brief from the Auror office explaining the situation.  I have asked Professor Boyd to remain for this meeting; upon his return to his students it will be hard to explain the situation if we are not prepared to make a statement.  Our task at hand is to determine what damage has been done to the school and if any further investigation is required at Hogwarts.  I remind you that despite Governor Haddingspot’s absence I remain a non-voting chair of this organization, and despite the requests of many I believe it would be a conflict of interest to accept any voting privileges.  Now, our first task once again is to determine the interim Headmaster.”

 

I listened as the Board of Governors debated who should become the Headmaster for the rest of the year.  Some had suggested Neville take the position, but his decision to continue teaching was honored and happily they made Gavin Titus the interim Headmaster.  They had me swear not to give out any information about Flurbin’s arrest; my cover story was that the Aurors came in and arrested him before we could have our meeting, and that Ron had escorted me out of the office when everything happened.  After they had agreed on my story I was excused from the meeting and asked to send Titus up to the Headmaster’s office, which was fine with me, as I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

 

Almost immediately after leaving the Headmaster’s office I was happily accosted by Poesy Phillips.  I looked at her and then my watch. 

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

 

“Yes, but Professor Longbottom said I had a special assignment.  He wants you to come by Herbology.”

 

I thought about Neville’s request, but remembered what I had promised Melody.  “I’ll see Professor Longbottom a little later.  Just give him a “thumbs up” or tell him that I’m very happy.  He’ll know what I mean.  Oh, and while you’re out of class, would you stop by Transfiguration and tell Professor Titus he’s needed in the Headmaster’s office?”

 

She nodded and smiled.  “Glad you didn’t get sacked.  Bye!”

 

 _Wait, did everybody know I was meeting with Flurbin?_   I shook my head and headed to the owlery, then realized I didn’t have a pen and parchment, so after a long trip back to my room and then up to the owlery I finally got the note off with Calliope that I had promised Melody.  On my way back down to my room I realized that if Neville was in class I was supposed to be teaching, and set off in a hurry for my classroom. 

 

As I opened the door to my room I had one of the biggest shocks of my life; my fifth year students were all huddled around a weeping Argus Filch.

 

“What’s the matter?”  I walked up to the group and noticed that Ruby Smythe-Warring was almost in tears.  “What’s wrong?”

 

She motioned to me to lean forward, and when I did she whispered “Mrs. Norris is very, very ill.  Madame Pomfrey told Mr. Filch that even though she’s a people Healer and not a cat Healer, she doesn’t think Mrs. Norris has very long to live.”

 

Filch’s demeanor at the Headmaster’s guardian gargoyles made sense now, and I looked over at my students.  Filch was not one of their favorite people, that was an understatement, but the fact that they were consoling the man who took relish in their punishments was surprising.  I made my way through the students until I was next to Filch.

 

“Mr. Filch, I’m very sorry.  Is there anything I can do?”

 

He shook his head, and his greasy hair swung back and forth.  Not knowing what else to do I reached forward and petted Mrs. Norris gently.  I could tell her breathing was labored, and as I had grown up with cats I knew that it wouldn’t be long.

 

“I’m back now; I can take over the class.  Mr. Filch, why don’t you spend some time with Mrs. Norris?  It’s ok; I’ll take it from here.”

 

As Filch left the classroom I went to my desk and sat down.  The recent turn of events had taken my happiness down a notch, and I noticed that the class was more subdued than usual.  I looked at the things on my desk, and happened upon that awful textbook.  When I picked it up I watched my students glumly take out their texts and put them on their desks.  After waiting a while, and not saying anything, they all looked to me expectantly.  I stood up, book in hand, and walked over to the window.  After opening the window to the cold January air, I threw the book as far out of the classroom as possible, resulting in cheers and subsequent additional book chucking from the students.  As we stood at the window and looked at all the books on the ground, Peter Sawgrass smiled at me.

 

“Headmaster Flurbin isn’t going to like that.”

 

I put my hand on his shoulder.  “Well, Sawgrass, if Flurbin was headmaster you would be right.”

 

“Bloody hell!” 

 

I looked over to the direction that the exclamation originated, and was shocked to find Franny Ellsworth covering her mouth with both of her hands.  “Franny?”

 

She laughed and slightly bounced on her feet.  “I got my Christmas wish!”

 


	14. Changes, a Funeral and Mrs. Norris

**Chapter 14: Changes, A Funeral and Mrs. Norris**

 

As my class of fifth year students talked excitedly amongst themselves about Flurbin’s removal from the position of Headmaster, I noticed my door open, but didn’t see anyone walk in.  That struck me as odd, so I took a few steps towards the door.  As soon as I saw who had entered my classroom I realized why I hadn’t seen anyone enter, as Nonky was too short to be seen above the tables. 

 

“Nonky, what brings you to my classroom today?  Want to learn about Muggles?”

 

“No, Professor Muggle.  Nonky’s been sent to tell you all students and staff are to meet in the Great Hall immediately.”

 

Upon hearing Nonky’s information Carrick Frye exhorted all of his fellow students to pack up and head to the Great Hall.  It was nice that I didn’t have to ask them to do it, they simply followed Carrick’s request.  As I hadn’t really unpacked any of my things to teach for the day I didn’t have any clean-up to do, so I walked with them through the hallways.  I couldn’t help notice a few things on the walk, specifically how certain couples in my class had formed or, in one specific case re-formed.  Whatever Carrick had done at the illegal Muggle Club Christmas party must have been forgiven, as he and Ruby Smythe-Warring seemed to be together again, but it was the fact that Peter Sawgrass the outspoken Slytherin was holding hands with the usually quiet and reserved Hufflepuff Franny Ellsworth that surprised me.  It had been obvious to me that he liked her, but it must have taken Flurbin’s yelling at her and Sawgrass’ defense of her to convince Franny.  Watching them made me remember Poesy’s request for a Muggle Club field trip.  _Why not?_   Now that was going to be interesting.

 

After taking my seat at the usual spot, I looked over to Neville, who, once again, had on his trademark goofy grin.  The mood amongst the student population seemed to mirror Neville’s attitude, as it was the noisiest I’d heard the Great Hall in quite some time.  As I knew that Titus had been appointed Interim Headmaster I didn’t want to betray anything so I did everything I could to not look at him; instead I focused on the Hufflepuff table and found Lavinia sitting between Flora Falkirk and Angus Wandsworth.  I felt proud of my Quidditch team, as the sixth year captain and his third year Seeker were obviously looking out for her.  I reminded myself to do something nice for the Quidditch team, but before I could think of what that would be I heard the crowd quiet.  Looking towards the Headmaster’s podium I saw Gavin Titus grasp the sides and look out towards the student population.

 

“Well, if I could have your attention for a few moments, please.  I’m sure you are all wondering why you’ve been asked to assemble here today, and rest assured you won’t miss any of the lessons planned for today.”

 

A few groans went up from the crowd, which caused even Titus to chuckle.

 

“Now, now, I don’t expect it to be taken care of right after our little meeting; we’ll incorporate it into the schedule.  Or maybe we’ll call this an educational information session.  Yes, I think that’s it.  Now, again, as to why we’re here.  Headmaster Flurbin is no longer at Hogwarts.  Right now he is, ah, well…he’s under arrest and is in the custody of the Aurors.  I’ve been appointed your Interim Headmaster.”

 

At hearing Titus’ statement several of the students began clapping, and eventually most of the Great Hall joined in as well.  After waving his arms to quiet down everyone, Titus looked back at the staff table and smiled. 

 

“In light of this change, and the fact that we’re at the beginning of a new year, I’ve been given the authority to change a few things from the Board of Governors.  I will meet with each of the professors, but Divination, Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies will once again be available to all students, regardless of year.  As first through fourth year students have missed half of a year of studies, special arrangements will be made to help bring them up to speed.  Again, I will be working with each of the professors to develop a plan to accommodate everyone and not give any student short shrift.  As for the Three D’s that Headmaster Flurbin like to expound upon, dedication, discipline and development, I will add an additional D:  Discovery.  I want each of you to discover not only what Hogwarts can teach you, but to discover how you can apply what you’ve learned, or to discover new ways of learning.  As the times change so must Hogwarts.  Now, I know you will all have additional questions, but I leave that to your Heads of House.”

 

My Muggle Studies classes had been restored!  I looked over to Sybill and Hagrid, and they both seemed very happy; in fact Hagrid clapped Sybill on the back and she seemed to almost lurch over the table.  Then I thought of how Sybill had lurched when she’d given me my prophecy… _holy shit_.  I looked over to the Hufflepuff table and saw Lavinia wave back at me slightly.  I returned her wave and though of the prophecy.  What had Sybill said?  I thought about it for a minute and remembered, she’d said a child dear to me will experience great loss, but I would be there in the time of need.  That’s exactly what had happened with Lavinia.  What else had she said?  Something about loving each of the houses of Hogwarts, and then something about my oldest child binding me to those who care, I couldn’t remember exactly.  It was up in my room at Hogwarts, as I’d written it down after I’d received the prophecy.  Now I couldn’t wait to go back to my room and look at it, but I had to figure out what was going to happen next, as I had to plan a cram session of sorts for my students who hadn’t had my class the first part of the year, and I had to find my old lesson plans, those might be back at Colony House, maybe Melody could bring them to me…

 

“Hank!”  I heard Cho for a moment before it registered, and I looked over to her.

 

“Sorry, Professor.  Lost in my thoughts for a moment.  What is it?”

 

“Titus has given us all the day off from classes.  You have things to do, though; your Hufflepuffs will be waiting for you.  Titus wants you to speak to him first.”

 

I just started laughing, and I almost couldn’t stop.  Cho looked over at me as if I had lost my mind.  After I could speak I just smiled.  “If you had any idea how different this day has gone than what I had anticipated, well…yeah.  Thanks, I’m off to see Titus.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

When I arrived at the Headmaster’s office for the second time that day the gargoyles were in a completely different mood.  The left one took a look at me and pointed his wing at the door while the right one simply waved at me.  So much for requiring Filch to whisper the password.  After stepping inside the office I immediately thought that I’d stepped back into Grimmauld Place on New Year’s Eve, as the place was a hive of activity.  Titus sat at the headmaster’s desk while house elves were busy moving things around.  As I took a seat in front of Titus the portrait of Severus Snape seemed to walk by, as all I could see were a thin pair of legs underneath the frame. 

 

Titus smiled at me and leaned forward on the desk.  “Well, Professor, quite a day, isn’t it?”

 

“Um, yeah.  Definitely.  Glad to see you’re redecorating.”

 

Titus leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.  “Not so much redecorating as reorganizing.  Moving things back to where I’m told are their traditional places.  Longbottom’s coming up soon to give it a good once over.  Now enough about the office, let’s talk about your class.  We’ll need to bring some of your students up to speed quickly, and I’ve got an idea on that, but I want to know what you think.”

 

 _Wait.  Titus was asking my opinion?_   “Sorry, Headmaster, I’m not used to…”

 

“No, no, no, Professor.  Not in here.  Just Gavin, please.  And I hope you won’t mind that I call you Hank?  It just seems too stuffy when students aren’t about.”

 

“Hank’s fine.  Thanks, Gavin.  I’m interested to hear what you think will work for my students.  What do you have in mind?”

 

For the better part of an hour I worked with Gavin to come up with a plan that we thought would give us the best coverage of material for the current Muggle Studies students as well as the new students, well, not so much new as in new for this year.  The part that really got me excited, though, was that Gavin wanted to use my not-officially-approved-yet Muggle Studies textbook; he’d indicated that when he had taught in Ireland that they had discontinued _Muggles Among Us_ several years ago and had put together a hodgepodge of sources to use instead.  As I headed to the Hufflepuff common room I realized that my agent would probably be thrilled, but then again Ian Coswock was usually thrilled at just about everything.

 

As soon as I entered the common room I was surrounded by students asking questions, most of them at the same time, and I took a few stabs at quieting them down, but ultimately a very loud whistle by Tosh Vestram ceased the noise.  I motioned for everyone to find a seat or a place to stand, and I sat on a table near the windows that were enchanted to show the weather outside.  Even though I’d seen them many times, I was still amazed that even down in the basement of the castle, right by the kitchen, I could look outside and see the weather.  As snow began to spit in the wind I turned to my students and took a deep breath.

 

“Ok.  I know y’all have a ton of questions, so let’s get those out of the way.  This isn’t class but I’m going to ask everyone with a question to hold up their hand and wait until called upon or we’ll be at this all day.  Now, who has a question?”

 

The first hand I saw belonged to Liv Wapping, so I called on her.

 

“Since Muggle Studies has been restored, does that mean Muggle Club is as well?”

 

I nodded.  “Yes, Headmaster Titus has reinstated Muggle Club.  Ruby?”

 

Ruby Smythe-Warring put down her hand.  “What about the younger students who weren’t able to take Muggle Studies?  How will they catch up?”

 

I watched Ruby glance at Lavinia, and smiled.  “We’ve got a plan for that, one that I’m going to need help with.  For students who are currently in Muggle Studies I will ask them to create study groups, one for each year, and in all of the houses.  Students that help bring the younger students up to speed will gain extra credit.  The study groups will operate outside of class time, but once we get things going if we feel adjustments need to be made please let me know and I’ll discuss it with the Headmaster.  Ok, um, Angus?”

 

“Professor Muggle, please tell me we don’t have to use that book.”

 

I laughed.  “Absolutely not.  Um, Angus you weren’t in Muggle Studies this morning when we, uh, well…”

 

“We threw that book out the window.”  Ruby was almost beaming.

 

I nodded.  “Yeah, we did.  Headmaster Titus told me it was a horrible shame that all of the copies for that class mysteriously ended up on the grounds of the castle.  Since we’re starting over, so to speak, we’ll be using a new textbook that I hope will work a little better.”

 

“Was Flurbin really arrested?”

 

I knew that voice, and I turned and looked at Lavinia.

 

“Yes.  Yes, he was.  I really don’t know too much about that, but I trust the Aurors, so if they think he should be arrested, then I agree.”  I took a deep breath.  “Ok, any other questions?”

 

Angela Flimpett held up her hand quickly.  “Professor, can you tell us some more about your pictures?”

 

“My pictures?  What do you mean?”  _Pictures, what was she talking about?_

 

She walked forward and handed me a copy of _The Daily Prophet_.  “You had some funny pictures.  In this one you look, well you look like you usually do but without your whiskers, but in this one you have a giant beard and later on in one on the next page you’re bald.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

An hour later I walked out of the common room, having spent most of that time talking about Luna Scamander had tried to fix my face because I had shaved off my goatee, how her “fix” didn’t really work, and then the fix of the “fix” had left me bald.  I also fielded questions about the party, Melody, the upcoming wedding, if Gwennog Jones would come to the next Quidditch match, if we were going to have a Valentine’s Day dance and if it was true that I was quitting Hogwarts to be an author and travel the world.  My favorite was when Millie Ninfolk, a very short first year girl asked me if they were going to have to live in Muggle London for a week as a final exam.  After assuring her that it was definitely not going to happen she seemed more at ease, and I waited until I was almost to my room before chuckling to myself.  Live as a Muggle for a week…not a bad idea, but the security, preparation and grading would be almost impossible. 

 

My wonderful mood came crashing down after I read the note that sat on my desk, as Harry had written me that the funeral for Lavinia’s parents would be Wednesday at ten in the morning.  I had to tell Lavinia, and I needed to inform Titus.  So much for the massive changes at Hogwarts making things better; Hogwarts didn’t exist in isolation to the rest of the world, although it felt like that at times. 

 

After a conversation with Titus and a series of owls it had been decided; Melody and I would attend the funeral along with Lavinia, and all of the Hufflepuff Prefects were excused from classes to attend.  I’d asked for Lavinia to come to my room, and during the quiet conversation I promised her that we would help her as much as possible.  When I brought up Titus’ suggestion that she spend the rest of the week with Melody and Tinney, she agreed but didn’t really say anything.  I could tell she didn’t really want to leave my room, so I had Nonky bring up supper for the two of us. 

 

At first she continued to be very quiet, but eventually Lavinia asked a question that must have been on her mind for quite some time.  Between bites she just asked where she would stay when she was with Melody and I during the holidays. 

 

“Well, Melody and I have talked, and we’re turning the spare bedroom at Colony House into your bedroom.  It’ll be your room as long as you want it to be.”

 

“But what about when you and Melody have babies?”

 

_Babies?  Plural?  Did she know something that I didn’t?  Sybill’s prophecy had said something about the oldest child, which also said that there’d be more than one baby.  When exactly were these babies arriving?_

 

“Professor?  Professor?  Um, Hank?”

 

It was her use of my name that brought me out of my reverie.  “Sorry, Lavinia.  You said babies, as in more than one.  Have you and Melody had a conversation I don’t know about?”  That made her laugh, something that made me feel better. 

 

“No, I just figured you’d have more than one.  I wish I wasn’t an only child.  You should have, um, four or five.”

 

“Holy shit!  Five?  Oh my gosh, sorry, um, didn’t mean to say that, um, five?” 

 

“I won’t tell Melody you said a bad word.  She knows you’re rubbish at not swearing.”  She took a drink of milk and cocked her head.  “But what will you do?”

 

“I guess we’ll add on to the house.  Who knows, maybe it’ll end up like The Burrow eventually.”

 

“That would be nice, Professor.  I like it there.  And if you have babies right away, I’ll be there to help take care of them.”  She stopped suddenly and looked at me very seriously.  “Do you think Mrs. Potter would mind if I sent her an owl?  I want to know how James is doing.”

 

“I don’t think she’d mind at all, Lavinia.  If you want, we can both write her after we finish eating.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

Wednesday turned out to be a horrible day in regards to weather, as the wind blew fiercely across the snow, causing the temperature to feel even colder.  Titus had made arrangements with the Floo Network and we used the fireplace in his office to travel to Colony House; when we arrived Melody was waiting for us.  She cast warming charms over us, thankfully, and she took our hands as we side-along apparated to the church.  All of the actions at Colony House had been taken in near silence, as I really didn’t know what to say, and Lavinia had not spoken the entire morning.

 

As we entered the church I saw Arthur and Molly Weasley sitting with the Hufflepuff Prefects, and as we walked to the front pew I noticed that Charlie Weasley sat next to Kristine Tinney.  I motioned for Lavinia to sit next to her aunt, and then Melody and I took our seats.  The church was sparsely populated compared to the service I had attended for Minerva McGonagall, but those who did attend looked no less affected by the loss. 

 

An older wizard stood up in front of the assembled mourners and detailed the lives of Malcolm and Amata Ryder, how they had loved their daughter very much, how they had worked tirelessly to make her life a better one than theirs, and how they were happy that Lavinia could attend Hogwarts in a time of peace.  I found myself wondering about the appropriateness of that line, as the deaths of the Ryders was definitely not an accident.  I tuned out of the speaker then and looked over to Lavinia, who sat perfectly straight in the pew and held hands with her aunt.  I felt Melody reach into my jacket and pull out my handkerchief and watched her dab her eyes. 

 

It was at that moment I had a very small inkling of what Molly Weasley had gone through, what Neville had gone through, and what Harry had to endure.  I didn’t know if it was better or worse for Harry and Teddy Lupin for that matter, to be too small to have to attend the funeral of their parents.  I settled into the numbness and detachment that always seemed to descend at funerals and almost moved outside of my body but eventually was brought back to reality by Melody’s hand on my arm.

 

“We need to go now, Hank.” 

 

I nodded and stood up.  We followed Tinney and Lavinia out of the church and walked to the small graveyard that circled the church.  A white tent covered the open earth, and I immediately contrasted the tent with the one in the Potter’s back garden.  The warmth of the tent enveloped us, and I noticed that only a small group had decided to go to the graveside service, and I found myself standing next to Tosh Vestram.  The Head Girl held something in her hands, but I couldn’t tell what it was. 

 

The elderly wizard started the service and I detached again; I focused on the way the ground looked frozen all around the graves, but where Malcolm and Amata Ryder would spend their eternal rest was moist and almost steaming.  As I came back to the present I watched a large, single casket descend into the grave; obviously the Ryders had chosen to be together in death as well as life.  Tinney stepped forward and gently threw a small handful of dirt into the grave, and Lavinia repeated her actions.  Tosh stepped forward and it was then that I saw what she held in her hands, two black and yellow striped Hufflepuff scarves.  She sent them down on the casket, stepped back and nodded slightly at Lavinia. 

 

We walked back in silence towards the church, and when we reached those who had stayed behind Molly came over to us and hugged everybody in turn.  When she came to me she informed me that she and Ginny had prepared food for everybody.  I nodded.  Minerva’s funeral had hit me harder than I expected, but this funeral, a funeral for two former Hufflepuff students who I had never met, the parents of Lavinia…well, I didn’t say much. 

 

I’m not sure how everybody got back to where they needed to go, but when I arrived at The Burrow Charlie looked at me and jerked his head towards the door.  I followed him outside, and after we made our way to Arthur’s shed he handed me a cigarette. 

 

“Thanks, Charlie.  I could really use it.”

 

“I figured.”

 

Charlie and I sat out there for quite a while, and when Melody stuck her head in the door and saw us smoking she didn’t throw a fit, she just nodded and closed the door quietly.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The Monday of Lavinia’s return to Hogwarts I met her as well as Melody and Tinney at the gates, but instead of being very solemn they all looked at me as if they had been caught in a prank or something similar.  I squinted at them and asked Melody if there was something she needed to tell me, but when I saw the carriers I knew what had happened.  Two small kittens were inside the carriers.

 

“Aunt Tinney bought me a kneazle cat!  His name is Flick!”

 

I peered into the carrier and was greeted by a very small grey paw that shot out and batted me on the nose.  “Appropriate name.  What about the other kitten?”

 

Lavinia’s tone was somewhat muted.  “That’s for Mr. Filch.  It’s Flick’s sister, but she doesn’t have a name yet.  I thought Mr. Filch should name her.”

 

I looked over to Melody who shrugged and pointed towards Lavinia.  “All her idea.  Now you two should head back, it’s cold out here for the kitties.”

 

After all of the goodbye hugs Lavinia and I faced Hogwarts, each with a cat carrier. 

 

“Can I give Mr. Filch his kitten?”

 

“Sure, Lavinia.  He’s probably at breakfast now.”

 

After she left I looked back to Melody, who began whistling.  Somehow I had a feeling I knew whose idea the cat was, and that made me think of something.

 

“Mel, where’s Churchill been?  I mean, I haven’t seen him in ages.  You didn’t use him for a potion or anything, did you?”

 

“No, silly.  He’s been at JoJo’s while things have been crazy.  I think he blames you.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I sat at my normal spot at the staff table but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Lavinia and Filch.  When she opened up the cat carrier and handed him the puff ball of black and white fur it must have taken him a moment to realize what had happened, because he looked at Lavinia for a while, and then petted the kitten.  Lavinia petted the kitten as well, and then Filch did something that nobody expected; he hugged Lavinia.

 

For the rest of the day the students were whispering “did you hear Filch hugged a student?  I think it was a second year Hufflepuff girl.”  By the time my fifth year class showed up for Muggle Studies the story had grown in proportion until the current version had Filch picking up five girls and swinging them around because they gave him a flower.  I put an end to that version, gave them the truth, and while it wasn’t as interesting as the spin that was going around they did figure that Filch would be a new person. 

 

They were wrong, as later that day Filch had to take care of a detention from Herbology; apparently one of Neville’s students tried to feed another student’s scarf to a rather unpleasant plant.  When Filch was marching the student towards the trophy room he quite loudly dismissed the student’s claims of his “change” by saying that just because there was one good student at Hogwarts didn’t mean the rest weren’t horrid, nasty little creatures who needed good old-fashioned discipline.  Hopefully Lavinia would never need detention again, but if she did I had a feeling her punishment with Filch would be something along the lines of petting cats and the effectiveness of certain feline toys.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

January slid easily into February, as classes resumed their wonderfully regular and almost monotonous schedule.  The dreamed-of Valentine’s Day dance did not materialize, as Titus thought it might be a little too soon in his unofficial tenure to take more time and attention away from studies.  This was communicated in our regular and completely unofficial and unscheduled staff meetings, as we’d begun having tea and sometimes stronger spirits in the Headmaster’s office on occasion.  If anything, the informal meetings were greatly improving staff morale and communication.  Nobody felt out of the loop, and I began to get to know some instructors on a professional and personal basis. 

 

As we were busy trying to plan the wedding as well as do our jobs, Melody and I decided to just send each other letters for Valentine’s Day.  That was fine with me, as I had zero chance to shop, and with Hermione pregnant and determined to remain working as long as possible I no longer had my shopping assistant.  No way in hell I was going to ask George.

 

Lavinia had adapted better to life at Hogwarts the death of her parents than I could have ever expected.  Angus Wandsworth had appointed himself Lavinia’s big brother, as I noticed that he made sure to spend time with her, somehow he always ended up walking with her whenever possible and she accompanied him and the team out to Quidditch practices.  I only hoped that she didn’t read more into it than what it was; I knew how easy it was to become emotionally attached to someone after a great tragedy, when the feelings were close to the surface.  As I thought about it I began worrying about my relationship with Melody, because after all there were several “incidents” that had brought us together.  Luckily I had frequent letters from Melody, and the occasional article in _Witch Weekly_ to help banish any fears.  Perhaps they were just pre-wedding jitters.  I’d find out soon, as we had a meeting with Pepper Brooksip coming up.  That would be interesting, to say the least.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

On the 18th of March Melody and I sat in my Muggle Studies classroom, nervous about what would happen next.  Pepper was already twenty minutes late, and it was all I could do to keep Mel from running up to the owlery to try and track down our missing wedding planner.  When the door opened, though, it wasn’t just Pepper at the meeting; our wedding planner walked into the classroom with Harry Potter and Gavin Titus.

 

As they sat down at the table, Gavin broke the silence first.

 

“I apologize for not sending someone down to let you know that Mrs. Bro…ah, Pepper, would be late; the Ministry requested that Harry and I also accompany her for this meeting.  Before Pepper goes over things there are, ah, some changes that have to be made.”

 

“Merlin’s beard, what now?”  Melody leaned back and rolled her eyes.  “We’ve already had to expand the guest list.  Are we inviting the entire United Kingdom now?”

 

“No, that’s not it.”  Harry smiled apologetically.  “We need to move the location.”

 

Melody sat up straight in her seat.  “Really?” 

 

Mel looked over at me, and I did my level best to not let on that I had a feeling that this would happen.  There was no way I was going to let _anybody_ know that I had heard the conversation with Rolf Scamander.  I didn’t want to show up suddenly deceased. 

 

“Yes, really.”  Harry leaned forward.  “Melody, there are some security difficulties at your Mum’s place.  We’d been searching for a new venue for a while, and had come up empty until I traded owls with Headmaster Titus last week, and the Ministry has agreed.  If you’re open to the idea, it’s been approved for your wedding to take place here.”

 

 _What?_   “In my classroom?”

 

Gavin laughed.  “No, Hank, at Hogwarts.  The ceremony could take place out on the grounds, perhaps by the lake, and the reception can be in the Great Hall.  What do you think?”

 

I looked nervously over to Melody, as I really didn’t care if we got married in Arthur’s shed, but I knew it was a big deal for her.  “What do you think?”

 

She smiled at me devilishly and then pointed at Harry.  “You’re telling my Mum.”

 

Gavin laughed.  “Sounds like a perfect job for an Auror.  Also, Hank, having the wedding here also provides some other advantages.  As I pointed out to Mr. Potter, all of the students will be home for the holidays, so any guests that would require accommodations would be able to stay in the castle.  With the appropriate oversight, of course.”

 

 _Appropriate oversight_ ; that sounded like a nice, polite and political way to say that everyone’s safety would be taken care of, as Hogwarts security was some of the tightest in the magical community.  My family would also enjoy staying at Hogwarts, if their brief introduction to the Wizarding world at The Burrow was any indication.  It sounded great to me, but I wasn’t the one who needed to be convinced. 

 

“Mel?  You didn’t answer, really.  What do you think?”

 

“I’m perfectly fine with it.  Since the Ministry has already taken over my wedding, why not?” 

 

Gavin stood up, and Harry followed his lead.  After telling us that they’d start the preparations and that Harry was now bound for Lane Bramble’s house we were left with Pepper to once again make new plans.  This time, though, her enthusiasm was markedly less than our previous meeting.  She pushed a few folders over to us and rested her chin in her hand, elbow propped on the table.  I noticed that her hair was messy and she wasn’t wearing her massive diamond.

 

I looked over at Mel, who simply shrugged.  _Great.  Ok, I would broach the topic._   “Pepper, are you ok?”

 

That was the signal for the dam to burst, as Pepper convulsed into tears.  After moving over to her side of the table and consoling her, we finally got her to speak through the sobs.

 

“He’s left me.  Said I was too controlling.  That I wasn’t any fun.  He even said that I’m boring!  Me!  He’s living with some tart in Newcastle who’s nineteen years old.  I mean, Newcastle?  I, I, I can’t do this.  I’m sorry, but just can’t.”

 

She stood up, and without bothering to take her folders Pepper walked out of the classroom.  I looked over to Mel.

 

“Now what?”

 

“Well, you’re never going to Newcastle, that’s one thing.  I guess I’ll have to call in the big guns.”

 

“Big guns?”  _Who the hell were the big guns?_

 

“Molly and Hermione Weasley.”

 

As Melody left to go Floo the Big Guns I took a look at the documentation that Pepper had left on the table.  Most of it was meaningless to me, stuff about guest and procession traffic patterns and flower decoration, but one document was exactly what I was looking for, the folder concerning my old college roommate Mike Greene.  Lavender, on one of her trips to America, had gone with Nate to speak to Mike.  After obtaining the obliviation agreements and other documentation Mike had been cleared to come to the wedding.  Obliviation agreements…that brought back some rather nasty memories, but after looking at the documentation a second time I realized that obliviation was the absolute last resort if anything about the Wizarding world was leaked.  Mike had even agreed to a special promise spell thing that would prevent him from disclosing anything to anyone not in the magical world, so I guessed that everything was ready.  Now I could actually write to him about the wedding and let him know what was going on.  It would be good to have a friend who wasn’t family that I could talk to, so that was a giant positive.  He wouldn’t be happy about the kilt, but if I promised him some good whiskey he’d be fine with it.  Actually, I really didn’t even have to do that, as he and I had one of those friendships where even if we hadn’t seen each other for years, the moment we did see each other it was if no time had passed.  We hadn’t spoken a lot since his wife died, but when we did the conversations were more than the usual “hey, what’s going on” type.  The only bad part was that none of my other Muggle friends had been cleared to attend, so Mike was it.

 

About a half hour later Melody returned to my classroom.  In her absence I’d decided to grade parchments so I was at my desk, Muggle pen in hand, marking fifth year papers on how microwaves changed Muggle cooking, so I didn’t notice when she entered right away.  It was only after she cleared her throat and coughed that I looked up and saw her sitting in the second row of tables on the left side.

 

“Yes, Miss Bramble?  You have a question?”

 

“Professor, I think most of the wedding project will be finished later this month.  Is there any way I could, you know, earn some extra credit?”

 

“You are horrible.  You know that.”  I watched her break into a very large smile.  “Your old spot, I take it?”

 

She nodded.  “Don’t think I ever told you, but I always hated this class.  Thought it was rubbish.”

 

“Probably was.”  I organized the parchment for later and walked over to her and sat on the table.  “So now what?”

 

“I’m meeting with Molly and Hermione later.  We’ll have everything ready, or most of it, ready for the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor Quidditch match on the first of April.  The Weasley Women have drafted Ginny and Angelina as well, so I hope you’re prepared.  We thought that would be the best day because Hermione will be ready to pop not too long after that.  Now hopefully you don’t do this with your students, but you need to kiss me goodbye as I’m going to go see Lavinia for a while.  What’s the Common Room password?”

 

I straightened my back and pretended to be offended.  “Even though you are an alumnus, I cannot divulge the password to the Common Room.  I am shocked, shocked, that you would even ask me that question.”

 

She reached up, grabbed my shirt and gave me a nice, big kiss.  After we broke apart I looked at her.

 

“Bunnymen.”

 

“Bloody hell, what kind of password is that?”

 

“Just my attempt to get the students to learn about my music.  Being Head of House does have its privileges.  As soon as you leave I’m changing it again.  And I’m taking five points away from _Witch Weekly_.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The next week was, as Neville called it, the Week of the Owls.  Every single morning at breakfast that week I had at least two owls, and on one occasion I had five owls present letters which became interesting as there was almost an owl brawl as I only had two sausages left.  Neville rescued me, and Cho laughed at my horrible owl skills as almost all of them, with the exception of Calliope, managed to nip or scratch me somehow.  Most of the owls were from Melody, but I also received letters from my mother who was in regular correspondence with Molly, Nate, and surprisingly Mike Greene.  Well, the letter from Mike came via Calliope as he’d sent the letter to Colony House and Melody sent it on from there.  Mike was looking forward to the wedding as he’d never had the chance to travel abroad and he promised to bring over some new music for me.  He’d also asked if I could find him a “plus-one” as the Ministry had informed him that he was travelling solo, which in reality wasn’t a problem for Mike as he had been travelling solo since his wife died.  He’d tried dating a couple of times, but those attempts ended in abject failure, so he was perfectly fine going it alone except for certain occasions, like the upcoming wedding.  I knew that Melody could help me on that one.

 

The other letters were from Ron and George complaining about having to wear a kilt.  Ron indicated that if anything “funny” happened he would use the full power of the Auror department to make me regret it, but George’s complaint was that if he had to wear a kilt then nobody would notice the bride, which wasn’t fair to Melody.  Typical.  Ginny’s letter was about the fitting for the kilts which she had scheduled to take place the day of the Quidditch match; I had no idea why Ginny had decided to take on that part of the planning, but it was one less thing to think of.  She’d also mentioned that Harry would be quite happy to wear a kilt, which I really didn’t believe.  I figured he was too scared of a very-pregnant Ginny to say anything.

 

Other than the usual classes and normal activities, well normal for Hogwarts, the rest of March flew by in what I had hoped would happen at the beginning of the year; my students learned, asked questions and turned in their homework.  I graded parchment, answered questions about the Muggle world, made some slight modifications on my textbook and spent time with the other staff members in Gavin’s informal meetings discussing how to be better instructors.  It wasn’t like we said “your class sucks, you need to do something different” it was more along the lines of “you know, this works for me, it might work for you.”  I had to disregard over half of the suggestions as I couldn’t do anything with my wand, but for Muggle Studies it worked out well.  All in all it was a nice stretch of time without wedding worries, Lavinia had adjusted to life pretty well back at school and no WLF ninjas were crashing through the windows ready to kill me.  I took that as a major accomplishment.

 

The first of April, though, well that was a different story altogether.  I was rousted out of bed at an extremely early hour by Hermione Weasley, and after I let her in my room and made her cover her eyes for the appropriate amount of time so I could become moderately presentable we sat at my little table and had a cup of tea.  Melody wasn’t joking; Hermione did look ready to pop as she had to sit sideways at the table to reach her teacup.  Other than that she simply looked as if she’d swallowed a basketball, as her weight gain simply seemed to affect her midsection. 

 

I yawned and took a sip of tea.  “Do you know what time it is, Hermione?”

 

“Oh yes.  Sorry about that.  I’ve been up for hours, you know as I don’t sleep much anymore.  Ron’s threatened to sleep in the guest room if don’t stop getting up all the time, but she’s been on my bladder.”

 

“Girl, huh?  Is that what Ron thinks?”

 

“He doesn’t care as long as the baby is healthy and loves Quidditch.  I swear sometimes he’s impossible.”  She adjusted in the chair and took a very contented sigh.  “Now Hank, about your plans.”

 

“Um, Mione, don’t you think we should wait for everyone else?”

 

Her face darkened.  “Don’t call me that.  My name is Hermione, thank you.”

 

“Ok.  Ron does it…”

 

“And he’s my husband.  You realize that you’re the only one who calls Melody ‘Mel’ don’t you?”

 

“Uh, I guess.”  I rubbed my hand across the stubble on my cheeks.  “Please tell me you’ll at least give me enough time to shower and shave before everything starts.  Hell, I think you’re even here in time for breakfast.  Or did you plan that?”

 

She narrowed her eyes and smiled slightly.  “Perhaps.  Now that you mentioned it I am hungry, so I’ll meet you down at breakfast.  Please don’t tarry.”

 

 _Don’t tarry?  Good grief._   “Are you sure you shouldn’t have gone into education?  You sound like one of my professors from college.”

 

She rolled her eyes at me, and on her way out the door she made me promise to not take too long. 

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

I actually did fall asleep standing up while hot water from the shower ran down my back, but I wasn’t about to tell Hermione or anyone else about that.  The downside of my micro-nap was that despite Hermione’s exhortations I was somewhat late coming down to breakfast, as when I arrived in the Great Hall Hermione, Molly, Ginny and Angelina were all at the Gryffindor table.  Melody was at the Hufflepuff table with Lavinia, and for a second I couldn’t figure out why the women were at different tables, but when the Quidditch teams walked in and were cheered by their respective houses I remembered.  Not quite at the level of Red Sox versus Yankees animosity; that was reserved for Slytherin versus Gryffindor, but it was a Quidditch Match.  More importantly House Cup points were on the line, and Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were vying for second place.  Ravenclaw once again led the House Cup competition, annoying everyone except Ravenclaw.  Interestingly enough, my Hufflepuff Quidditch team was in a close race with Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup, so even though I had personal reasons for the day to be important they paled in comparison with the rest of Hogwarts.  Hogwarts alumni as well.

 

I walked over to the Hufflepuff table and sat down next to Liv Wapping, surprising her as she almost dropped her pumpkin juice.

 

“Professor…why aren’t you at the staff table?”

 

“I can’t sit with my house before a big Quidditch match?  Pass the sausages, please.”

 

Franny Ellsworth handed me the sausages, and without looking up she asked me a question.  As Franny speaks very quietly I didn’t catch it over the din of breakfast.

 

“I’m sorry, Franny, what was that?”

 

“I was just wondering, with Miss Bramble here, if maybe it would be a good time to talk about the Muggle Club party?  You know, kind of like a field trip, but not really.”

 

I looked at her over my glasses.  “Well.  I suppose so.  We’ll talk about it.”  I glanced over to the Slytherin table and watched Peter Sawgrass turn away quickly and concentrate on his plate.  Franny and Peter, now that was a combination; his intellect and planning and her good-natured personality.

 

“What’s that, Hank?”  Melody took off her glasses and looked at me.  “What have you promised?”

 

“The Muggle Club party at your house at the end of the term.  Remember, you said it was up to Professor Muggle.  I think it’ll be great!”  Lavinia smiled brightly at Melody and I knew right then that we’d be having a party, as there would be no way that Melody would refuse Lavinia. 

 

I gave Melody my best “please-don’t-kill-me” smile and stuffed a sausage in my mouth.

 


	15. Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble, What Did You Do?

**Chapter 15: Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble, What Did You Do?**

 

As we sat in the Hufflepuff section of the Quidditch stadium the wind and intermittent rain made things somewhat difficult to talk, but that didn’t dissuade Melody.  I was forced to recount how I hadn’t exactly told the students they could have a Muggle Club party at Colony House, and I tried to explain to Melody that it was a combination of Poesy and Lavinia that had come up with the idea, but she didn’t buy it.  She figured that when she told Lavinia that it was up to me, I’d decline because the house is too small for that many students.  To be honest she didn’t really mind, but she was enjoying giving me a hard time a little too much for my tastes.  Hannah Abbott sat with Melody, which helped me out, as soon they were busy talking about their respective wedding plans and I was left to watch the match.

 

I still didn’t get all of the subtleties of Quidditch, but since my house team was in a close race for the cup I did pay better attention.  It was obvious that Angus Wandsworth was the best player on the team, but after watching him and the other Beater for a while I found myself watching little Flora Falkirk, who seemed small even for a third year student, fly high above the pitch.  After a while my neck was sore from the angle of following the Seeker, so I turned to Lavinia, who was sitting a couple of rows below us next to Ruby Smythe-Warring and another boy, who I didn’t know as he wasn’t in any of my classes but I recognized from the Hufflepuff common room.  I guessed him to be a fourth or fifth year boy, but my percentage of guessing which year the students are in was abysmal, so I let it go.

 

Since I didn’t have super-wizard sight or years of Quidditch watching skills I took out a small pair of binoculars that I’d purchased in Stintborough.  When the lady at the shop asked if I was interested in bird watching, I assured her I was and needed a small pair capable of following “flight patterns.”  I chuckled at the flight patterns that were happening on the pitch, but after a while I got bored and started looking at the Gryffindor side of the stadium.  It didn’t take long to find them, as even bundled against the wind and drizzling rain I could pick out a large section of Weasley-red hair.

 

“Mel?  Hey Mel.”  I tapped her on the arm.  “Looks like there’s an entire Weasley section over there.”  I pointed across the pitch and she nodded.

 

“If you think its bad now, Hank, wait until all of the new babies start at Hogwarts.  Just think, you’ll probably have all of them in your class.”

 

I immediately thought of what would happen if George and Angelina had a child, and the amount of trouble that would inevitably happen.  “Please let George and Angelina’s baby take after Angelina.”

 

Hannah heard me and laughed.  “Don’t think you’ll be out of the woods with James Potter and the next Potter.  Or Ron and Hermione’s, for that matter.  There’s a lot of rule-breaking in those genetics.”

 

_Wonderful._

 

As the match progressed quaffle after quaffle was thrown through the goal, and even though my house was playing and it pains me to say this, I lost interest.  Yes, my students were performing spectacularly but it was like a baseball game that had gone into the twentieth inning; I was just hoping for someone to end the damn thing.  Instead of watching the action on the pitch I began looking around the Hufflepuff section of the stands, trying to play the “what year are YOU in” game.  At least I could remember most of the names, something that Neville seemed to pick up almost by osmosis.  It was while I was scanning the crowd I noticed something.

 

“Mel?  Hey Mel, come here a second.”  She didn’t flinch, so I tapped her on the arm.

 

With an exasperated sigh she leaned over.  “What?  This is a good match.”

 

“Look down a couple of rows.  See anything interesting?”

 

After a few minutes she shook her head.  “No, what am I looking for?”

 

“The dark-headed boy who was sitting next to Ruby changed seats.  He’s sitting next to Lavinia now.”

 

Melody looked over to me and smiled.  “Good for her.  Maybe she has a boyfriend.”

 

“You don’t get it, Mel.  A boyfriend means having the, well, um, you need to talk to her about boys.”

 

“Me?  Why me?”

 

“You’re the girl.”

 

At that moment a giant cheer went up from the crowd and I turned to see Flora Falkirk at the bottom of the pitch, Golden Snitch in hand.

 

Melody smacked me on the back of my head.  “Great.  Thanks, Hank, you made me miss it.  Well, for your punishment you have to come to all of the wedding discussions today.  We’re having them in your classroom.  Come on now.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

While the women congregated around one table I sat with Ron, Harry, George and Neville at another table on the opposite side of the room.  The loss of the Quidditch match only compounded Ron’s irritation at having to be there, which he was all too willing to express.  George finally threatened to tell Molly about a particular evening at The Burrow before Ron and Hermione were married and Ron finally quit grousing, but Harry kept teasing him.  I figured it was only moments before a Weasley/Potter wrestling match occurred, but the arrival of a tall, thin witch stopped all conversation.

 

Ginny semi-waddled over to the witch and shook her hand, then turned to everyone else.  “I’d like you to meet Holly Bruce.  She’s going to be making the kilts for the wedding party.  Ok boys, time to get measured.”

 

As I watched the Order of Merlin winners stand in front of the table I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Don’t worry guys.  It’s not as if anyone will see you.  Oh wait; everybody will see you, not to mention the pictures…”

 

Holly Bruce waved her wand, and just like at Madame Malkin’s a long time ago the measuring tape snaked around waists and down legs, causing Neville to laugh slightly as the tape must have tickled him.  I was getting a good kick out things until Hermione and Ginny each put a hand on my shoulder.  _Uh-oh_.

 

“Oh Pro-fess-or!”  Ginny’s voice was singsong, and I looked over at Harry and he smiled broadly at me.  I took that to mean that he’d heard that tone before, and it was going to be interesting.

 

“Yes, Ginny?”

 

“Hermione and I think it would be a _wonderful_ idea if you could show the boys how to wear a kilt.  We don’t want any embarrassing situations the day of the wedding now, do we?”

 

“That’s it?  Sure.”  I looked over to Ginny and she seemed disappointed.

 

“Told you, Ginny.”  Melody stood next to Hermione with her arms crossed.  “He loves wearing the bloody thing.  You’re just egging him on now.”

 

“Can you please come down after you’re dressed?  I want to make sure on the weave of your tartan.”  Holly Bruce stood with her wand tucked into her hair.  “Won’t take but a mo.”

 

After we arrived at my room I pulled my kilt out of the closet.  “Ok, guys, here’s how it works.  I’m going to show you how it works while dressed, and then I’m going to go into the bathroom and put it on properly.”

 

Ron gave me a funny look.  “Why can’t you do it here?  Are you wearing embarrassing underwear from Melody or something?”

 

George clapped Ron on the shoulder.  “Ask him what he wears under the kilt.”

 

Ron didn’t say anything; instead he just gestured with his hands as if to say “Well?”

 

I smiled at George, and then turned to Ron.  “Shoes and socks.”

 

It took a moment for things to sink in for Ron, and then he got it.  “Bloody hell!”

 

“You don’t have to, Ron, but that’s how I do it.  You wouldn’t be the first person to wear something under the kilt, but it’s not the traditional way.  Well, the traditional way that I was taught, anyway.” 

 

As Ron recovered from shock I showed everyone how one side goes across first, is buckled, and then the other side goes across and is buckled twice.  After pulling out the kilt hose and everything else I decided that I just needed to get dressed, so I went into the bathroom and changed.  A few minutes later I came out with everything on except my sporran. 

 

“Now for the best part.”

 

I walked over to my wardrobe and took Balthasar down from the top shelf.  He was somewhat sleepy, but after a bit of coaxing he decided that a walk around the castle wasn’t a bad thing.  I explained to everyone that they wouldn’t have to have a full mask sporran, theirs would be different, but George kept laughing.

 

I shook my head at him.  “What is it, George?”

 

“You are the manly picture of Hufflepuff House, my friend.  It’s no wonder Melody found you irresistible.  Oh wait, she was drinking when you wore that, I take it back.”

 

After showing Holly Bruce the exact weave of my tartan and doing all of the other things required by the women I said my goodbyes and retired to my room with Melody.  After changing into my regular clothes I sat at my desk while Melody curled up in my big green chair by the fire.  We chatted for a while, I returned to grading parchment and Melody was working on her column for _Witch_ _Weekly_ when I heard the knock at the door.  I figured it was either Neville or Harry, so I wasn’t too concerned.  It wasn’t either of them at my door, though, it was Gavin Titus.

 

“Gavin!  Sorry, didn’t expect to see you.  Come on in.”

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have a request for you.  And the future Mrs. Boyd.”  Gavin’s eyes narrowed slightly and he looked as if he was trying to be formal and daunting, but he was failing.

 

Gavin conjured a chair next to my desk and sat down.  Melody looked at me, but I shook my head slightly, as I had no idea what the Headmaster wanted us to do. 

 

“Well.  Now, uh, your wedding is something of a first for Hogwarts, as are your guests.  While the castle has many interesting attractions I’m afraid that the length of time that the guests will be staying will, unfortunately, make those attractions…well, I’m afraid they’ll run out of things to do.  Can’t have a bored group of wedding guests.  So, I’m formally requesting that you and Melody go on a fact-finding mission this afternoon.  The mission will extend into the early evening, as I feel that you should research a possible restaurant for those more accustomed to Muggle establishments.  I’ve arranged everything, tickets have been purchased for a historical location and reservations have been made at a restaurant, so you’ll need to hurry things along if you don’t want to be late.”

 

 _Wait a sec…a research mission?  Tickets and reservations had been made?_   _This sounded more like…_   “Gavin, have you set up an afternoon and a night out for us?”

 

The Headmaster betrayed his true intent slightly but then resumed his air of authority.  “Oh no, no, not at all.  Research.  Strictly research.”

 

He stood up and handed me a small envelope, and I looked over to Mel, who was on the verge of laughter.

 

“Melody will be able to apparate to your first location, I believe.  If needed the Floo network has been contacted and you can use your fireplace, Hank.”  He stopped suddenly and looked worried.  “You do still have that Muggle money, don’t you?”

 

“I do, plus I have my cards.” 

 

“Everything should be taken care of, but just in case please bring back any and all receipts.  We’ll take care of that.  Research costs Galleons, you know.  Now I must be off.  Paperwork.  Oh, I’ll expect a full report from the both of you next Saturday.”

 

As Gavin left my room I looked over at Melody.  “I think we’ve just been setup on a date.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

One side-along apparition later, Melody and I stood outside of Balmoral Castle, the Scottish home of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert.  A quick look at our tour tickets told us that our tour, the last tour of the day, would be starting in ten minutes, so we hurried along until we arrived at the spot where the tour started.  Other Muggles were milling around, and Melody took a hold of my hand.

 

“I know this may seem ordinary for you, Hank, but this is kind of exciting for me.  I’ve never really done the Mu…the tourist thing before.”

 

“It’s not really ordinary for me either, Mel.  If I was playing tourist maybe, but I’ve never done anything like this.  Well, I did do the Washington D.C. stuff, but that was when I was a kid.  School field trips and stuff like that.”

 

“Hank Boyd?  Hank, is that you?”

 

 _I knew that voice. It couldn’t be._ I turned around, and sure enough there was Janine standing next to an older man with grey hair.  _Holy shit.  Of all the people I could run into in Scotland, it had to be her?_   “Uh, hi Janine.”

 

Janine and her companion walked over to us and I felt Melody’s hand tighten slightly in mine.  As Janine stood in front of us she gave one of her smiles that I knew from experience was fake. 

 

“You look good, Janine.”  She looked as she did the last time I saw her, still tall, blonde and very good looking.  As always, she was dressed to the nines.  Well, as dressed-up as possible when taking a tour of Balmoral.

 

“And you look…the same, Hank.”  She looked over to Melody in a condescending manner.  “And who’s this?”

 

Melody put out her hand.  “Melody Bramble, Hank’s fiancée.  You must be Janine.  Karen told me about you.”

 

Janine looked down at Melody’s hand, but made no movement.  ”So you’ve met Hank’s mother?  I’m sure that was a _fascinating_ visit.  Oh, I’d like you to meet Kip.  Kip, this is Melody and Hank.”

 

The grey-haired man extended his hand, and I shook it.  “Actually, Hank, we’ve met before, about three years ago at the Christmas party.”

 

Suddenly I remembered who he was, and somehow I wasn’t surprised.  Janine had introduced me to Kip Ross at the Christmas party, her company party.  Kip was there because he _owns_ the company.  She’d finally done it; she’d landed the big fish.

 

“Right, I remember now.  So what are you doing in Scotland?”

 

Janine tossed her hair behind her shoulder, acting nonchalant but I knew her tricks.  She was checking out Melody.  “I might ask the same of you.  The last thing I heard was that you were still failing to be a writer and teaching in that little commuter college.  I take it you’ve given up all that foolishness?”

 

“Hank lives here now.  He’s teaching at a school for gifted children.”  I could tell from Melody’s tone that she wasn’t interested in being nice, and I wondered what would happen. 

 

“I’m sure you love that, Hank, you’ll get to wear your skirt.”  Janine

 

“He’s wearing his _kilt_ when we get married.  I think it will look wonderful.”  Melody smiled at Janine, and I knew her claws were out because she wasn’t thrilled about the kilt.

 

Kip must have sensed something because he stepped closer to me.  “Hank, we’re in Scotland to check out a location.  We’re thinking of opening a branch in the U.K. and we decided to play tourist for a day or so.”

 

Luckily the guide showed up before anyone was forced to say anything, and Janine led Kip to the front of the group so I led Melody towards the back.

 

Melody fixed me with a very irritated stare.  “Your Mum was right, Hank.  She’s horrid.” 

 

“Tell me about it.  Figures that she’d be with Kip.  He owns her company.  I have a feeling the ‘meetings and conferences’ she couldn’t avoid and were urgent were actually dates with him.”  I looked over to Mel, and she was fiddling about with her purse.  “Um, what are you doing?”

 

“Looking for my lip balm.”  She fished around for a minute and pulled it out, then put some on her lips very blatantly.  “I may need to kiss you soon.”

 

_Oh boy._

 

The tour guide began her speech, but I couldn’t hear much because Melody kept talking to me.  I heard opinions on how Janine was overdressed for the occasion, how Melody only had on a tiny bit of makeup, how Melody’s hair was just pulled back in a ponytail, she was too short, gained too much weight lately and a myriad of other things.  I finally convinced her that we weren’t here to talk about Janine, that we were here to tour Balmoral as an event for the wedding guests.  She acquiesced a little too easily, so I thought something was up.

 

Turned out I was right.  As the tour moved through Balmoral she took hold of my hand and we got closer and closer to the front of the tour, until Janine and Kip were only a few people away.  A bit more rustling in her purse drew my attention away from a portrait, and then we moved on.  A few more feet down the hallway and suddenly the heel of Janine’s boot broke, sending her sprawling to the floor.  After being helped up by Kip and another tourist, Janine took off her boots and continued on in her socks, acting as if it wasn’t a problem whatsoever.  I looked over to Mel, who had a benign expression on her face.

 

I leaned over to her and whispered “Did you do that?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hank.  Obviously those designer boots were poorly made.  Just because something costs a lot doesn’t mean its good quality.”

 

 _Right.  Now I knew what all the fumbling in her bag was about; she was making sure her wand was available._   “Why don’t I carry your bag?”

 

“Oh Henry, it would clash horribly with your shoes.  Let’s carry on.”

 

After the tour and a quick stop into the gift shop Melody and I found our way to a little coffee shop on the grounds, and while we were sitting with our tea who should walk in but Janine and Kip.  I was pretty sure that they both saw us, but Janine pretended as if she hadn’t and they sat several tables away from us. 

 

“She’s very pretty, Hank.  Well, if you like that anorexic blonde tart with no chest or hips kind of thing.”

 

“Well my tastes have changed for the better, obviously, since I asked you to marry me.  Just ignore her, pretty soon she’ll be gone, we’ll be at the restaurant and you’ll never see her again.”

 

I probably shouldn’t have said that, as the wheels obviously began turning.  Before I knew it somehow Janine’s entire cup of hot coffee accidentally spilled all over her white sweater, causing her to throw herself back from the table.  Then as she went to sit down somehow she missed her chair completely and landed on the floor, coming down hard on her butt.  Kip and one of the wait staff tried to help her up, but as she was trying to stand one of her feet slipped and she went forward towards the table, smacked her head on the edge and went down to the floor in a heap.  This caused a crowd, and eventually someone on the staff with medical training came over and put her on a wheeled stretcher thing.  The neck brace and head supports kept me from seeing Janine’s face, but I was sure she was far from pleased.

 

As they wheeled her out I looked over to Melody, who was drinking her tea and looking at one of the books about Balmoral that I’d picked up in the gift shop as if nothing had happened.

 

“Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble.  What did you do?”

 

“Hmmm?  What’s that?”

 

“Where’s your, um, you know?  That little stick you like so much?”

 

She sat down her tea.  “Oh I don’t know, someplace or another.  Can’t use it here, you know.  M-type people absolutely everywhere.  You know, I haven’t written your Mum in a while, I think I should write her soon.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After being seated in the restaurant in Aberdeen the manager stopped by our table to ask how many people we would be serving for dinner in August.  Obviously Titus had managed to contact him somehow, so we went over the wedding party list and gave him a rough number, promising to firm up the final count a week prior to our visit.  He promised us that our seating area would be a private room, so we wouldn’t have any interruptions.  Hopefully there’d be no wand-waving, but the privacy factor didn’t hurt.

 

As I took a sip of wine I looked over to Melody, who still seemed very pleased with herself.  “You could have been in big trouble, you know.  They’d have to do the whole memory thing on a bunch of people.  I’m sure that would go over well.”

 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about, Hank.  Your ex-girlfriend just happens to be clumsy.”

 

“Right.  Whatever you say.  Ok, I’m changing the topic because it’s obvious that you’re not going to tell me the truth.  I need some help.  My old roommate Mike is coming over for the wedding, and we need to find him a date.  Well, he asked for some help with a plus-one.  Any ideas?”

 

“Not JoJo.  She’s still having a rough time of it since New Year’s.  There’s a girl who works at _Witch Weekly_ but I don’t know if she’s seeing someone.  I’ll have to think about it, we still have plenty of time.  Oh, here come the appetizers.”

 

For the rest of the very good meal we discussed the new wedding plans at Hogwarts, her column for _Witch Weekly_ and my classes, but most of the conversation was about Lavinia.  Melody agreed to tactfully approach the subject of boys, which was a giant relief to me, and Melody also suggested having Lavinia be her bridal attendant, which I thought was a great idea.  She’d be involved with the wedding, and since we weren’t having a flower girl or ring-bearer those roles were out; besides, she was way too old for that anyway.  The guest bedroom would start the transformation into Lavinia’s room in a week or two, and that reminded me about the conversation I’d had with Lavinia about babies.

 

“You know one of the reasons she was hesitant about having her own room at our place is that she’s afraid we’ll run out of room.”  I looked over at Melody, who seemed confused.  “Babies.  Plural.  She said five.”

 

“Oh, she thinks we’re going to compete with Molly and Arthur?”

 

“Good grief, Mel!  That’s a lot of kids.  I don’t think…you don’t, do you?”

 

“Not that many, that’s for sure.  Two, maybe three.  We’ll see.  Not right away, though.  Well, fairly soon, you are old.”

 

I took another sip of wine.  “Thanks.  Really appreciate that.  I have a feeling it will be at least two.  Well, if Sybill’s right, anyway.”

 

“Sybill?  You’ve been talking to Sybill Trelawney about our future children?”

 

“More like the other way around.”

 

I told her about Sybill’s prophecy, and how one part had come true, the part about Lavinia, and with Titus taking over for Flurbin the ‘many days’ bit was also looking more and more likely.  She wasn’t sure she believed the rest of it, but even she had to admit that Sybill had been spot-on for the other parts. 

 

As we finished dessert I looked over to find our waiter, but someone caught my eye. 

 

“Mel, look over there.  The table next to the painting of the stag, see that woman?  The one in the green sweater?”

 

“Jumper.  Jumper, Hank.  Honestly, you’ve been here how long now?  Yes, I see her, what of it?”

 

“She was at Balmoral, in our tour.  I know she was.  She was next to Janine when you broke her heel.”

 

“No she wasn’t.  It was just men around her then.”

 

“So you did break her heel!  I knew it.”

 

“I just noticed people around her, Hank.  You seriously remember that woman?  If it is her, how could she get here so fast?  We app…we arrived very quickly, there’s no way she could have.”

 

I focused on the woman, and then turned away when it would have become obvious that I was staring.  “Unless she’s not an M-type person.  Maybe she’s an Auror.  Harry didn’t say anything about shadows, though.  I don’t think she’s an Auror.”

 

“Hank!  Language!”

 

“Yeah yeah yeah, so sue me.  Mel, I think we need to pay our tab and be on our way.”

 

“I agree.  Let’s go.”

 

I flagged down our waiter, and when I asked for the bill I was informed that all of the arrangements had been taken care of, including a generous gratuity.  The waiter handed me a note with the manager’s information so I could contact him closer to the wedding date, and I thanked him again.  As we left I tried to see if the woman in the green jumper was watching us, but after a few steps it was pointless.  We walked as far away as possible, found a deserted alley and apparated away.

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

The next morning at breakfast I arrived late, after the owls, sat down next to Neville and tried to explain the “research” that Titus had given Melody and me.  Instead of seeming surprised, though, Neville seemed as if he’d already heard everything, because he didn’t react as I expected.  Instead of saying anything he reached over and handed me a newspaper.

 

“Is there something in _The Prophet_ I need to read?”

 

“It isn’t _The Prophet_ , Hank.”

 

The lack of moving pictures was my first indication, as it was a local Scottish Muggle newspaper, with an article about the American tourist who had a horrible series of mishaps at the Balmoral coffee shop.  It turned out that Janine had a slight concussion, a second-degree burn, twisted ankle, abrasions and bruises.  The article went on to question the safety of the flooring at Balmoral, but was at a loss to explain why the accident had only happened to Janine.

 

Neville cleared his throat.  “I heard about it first hand.  Titus gave me the night off to go see Hannah, and we were at the Leaky in the back after closing when Melody arrived.  After she gave us her version of things Hannah owled Ginny and Hermione, then Angelina showed up and pretty soon I was the only wizard in a group of gossiping witches.”

 

“Let me guess, Ginny approved and Hermione didn’t?”

 

“No, not quite.  They all approved, especially after Melody told them about your ex-girlfriend.  By the way, you do know what yesterday was, right?”

 

I couldn’t think of anything.  “No, what?”

 

“The first of April.  April Fool’s Day, and also the birthday of…”

 

“Holy crap, George’s birthday.  And Fred’s.  I can’t believe I forgot.”

 

Neville took the paper back from me and looked at the picture of Janine being wheeled into the E.R. of a local hospital.  “Remind me never to prank your fiancée.  I don’t think I’d like the payback.”

 

 

-ooo-

 

 

After informing Titus that we had a great Saturday and I’d fill him in later I got approval to head to Diagon Alley for a few hours.  I couldn’t think of what to do for George’s birthday, and after a quick Floo trip I still hadn’t thought of anything.  Nothing like winging it.  As I walked up to the back door I remembered the last time I’d visited the shop this way and walked out with my “unofficial” Invisibles gear.  Who knows what George had thought up since then?

 

My knock on the door was answered eventually by George, who looked at me very strangely.  “Is Melody with you?”

 

“Uh, no.  Just me.”

 

“Thank Merlin.  I heard what happened and don’t want to end up in St. Mungo’s.  Come on in.”

 

After following George through the shelves we sat at the little break area in the back.  Instead of offering me tea, though, he handed me a pumpkin juice. 

 

“No tea?  They might revoke your citizenship.”

 

“Funny, Hank.  I might say the same for you, no ten-gallon hat or cowboy boots?  You haven’t shot anyone lately, have you?  Anyway, what brings you by this morning?  Looking to see how the new products are coming along?”

 

“I hadn’t thought of that, but we’ll get to that eventually.  I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I forgot your birthday.  I, uh, have a present for you, but it’s nothing I can hand you right now.”

 

He cocked his head and pointed a finger at me.  “Letting me get my hands on that gamestation box thingy?  Splendid.”

 

“Um, no.  You wouldn’t be able to play that anyway since you blew up my television.  For your belated birthday present I thought I would offer to write up a presentation for you, um, one you could use to give people in other cities to let them know how a Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes shop could impact their economy.  Use it as an expansion tool.  Might also be helpful to have a history of your shop, that way if they wanted to know more about it, well, you’ve have it ready for them.”

 

“And I’d be able to sell that in the shops.  Thank you very much, Hank, I accept.  Now when can I see a draft?”

 

 _What?_   “A draft?  George, I just told you about it, I’d have to do research, interview you…”

 

“I love interviews.  Last one I did with _The Prophet_ sent sales up for a month afterwards.  Hopefully our newest product will be further along by then…maybe this is a good time for a demonstration.”  He stood up abruptly and walked out of the room, leaving me sitting there at the table wondering what was going on.  After a few moments he stuck his head back in the door.  “Well don’t just sit there; follow me.”

 

I sat in a chair towards the back of a mostly empty room while George walked around and waved his wand a few times at things I couldn’t see.  At least he seemed pleased with my idea of a spur-of-the-moment belated birthday present; it would definitely keep me busy writing, and I’d get to know more of the history of how the shop came to be.  I hadn’t thought of it initially, but if George expanded worldwide, even with my little percentage of the shop…

 

“Are you ready, Hank?”  George looked at me and waggled his eyebrows.  “I’m anxious to see what you think.”

 

“I’m not sure I trust you on this one; I mean, after all, you blew up my TV.  I will go back to Hogwarts in one piece, right?”

 

“Absolutely!  Ok, give me one minute.”

 

I watched George go over to a large box that had what looked like a chandelier on the top of it and wave his wand at the sparkly bits.  The lights dimmed, and after a few moments the edges of the room became fuzzy.  It was almost as if the room was dissolving.  Right before I was about to yell at George I saw other walls start to form, familiar walls.  I turned around in the chair and realized that I wasn’t in George’s shop anymore; I was in Arthur’s shed! 

 

“George!”

 

“Just shut up and pay attention.  You’re perfectly fine.”

 

I seemed to be sitting on a stool next to one of Arthur’s workbenches, from what I gathered, and before I could do anything else Arthur Weasley walked into the shed.  He asked a non-visible George what he was doing, and the disembodied voice of George informed Arthur that he was conducting an experiment.  After being assured by George’s voice that nothing would explode, Arthur wandered over to a shelf and took down a muffler.  Suddenly the shed began to shimmer, and eventually the walls of George’s shop returned, leaving me speechless.

 

“Not bad for a first try, I think.  Need a larger space, and have to adjust a few things, but I think I’m on to something.  What do you think, Hank?”

 

“It’s like I was in a movie!  How did you do that?”

 

“Well, I won’t bore you with the technicalities, because frankly your little Muggle head would explode, but it’s a combination of your Muggle television, Wizarding photography, how pensieves work and your Muggle DVD camera.”

“DVD camera?  Wait, you mean my video…how did you get that?”

“I may have asked Melody for it at one time, but don’t worry, that’s still in one piece.  Mostly.  I call it WeasleyVision.  With the right people and magic in place I can make DVDs like the ones you have at Colony House.  Well, not exactly, the people have to all be in the same place to see the DVD.”

“George, you’ve just invented Wizarding movies.  Holy shit.”

 

-ooo-

 

When I got back to Hogwarts I was in a daze.  I had several appointments to visit with George concerning his promotional materials and his book, but I was still in shock about WeasleyVision.  It was like going to the movies, except you were in the movie, without being able to interact with anybody.  George wanted to figure out how to show something that was currently happening, but I had assured him that what he had would be a great start.  George also wanted to film my wedding, but I told him that he’d have to discuss that with Melody. 

Just when I thought that I was becoming used to living in the Wizarding world, something like WeasleyVision would happen and I would remember that I’m only 1.3% wizard; nothing like a complete shock to the system to reinforce that.  Now I was getting ready to marry a witch, a woman who could do awful things to my ex-girlfriend and could pop around the country just by saying a spell or whatever it was she did to apparate.  I was always going to be the weaker one, the one who couldn’t do anything.  And babies…Mel had talked about babies, or I had or Lavinia or someone had, and what would happen when we did have a baby?  Would they be like Mel or would they be like me?  I would hate to think they wouldn’t be able to go to Hogwarts, and even though Melody had assured me that it wouldn’t matter, it _would_ matter. 

I sat back in my chair and watched the sun’s light fade through the window.  Out of nowhere I thought of Sybill’s prophecy, and that gave me some hope.  Love all of the houses of Hogwarts…hopefully that meant one of our children would be at Hogwarts, but I wasn’t sure.  Leave it to something wonderful and amazing like the infancy of Wizarding movies to make me completely doubt myself.

I spent the rest of the night in my room, reading and smoking one of my pipes, but mostly trying to figure out if I could finally relax.  Flurbin was gone, Titus had taken over, my wedding was now going to be at Hogwarts and there hadn’t been any further signs of the WLF, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I couldn’t let down my guard.  I decided that since I didn’t have anything better to do I should clean out my desk somewhat, and it was during that process when I found the old _Daily Prophet_.  The paper was turned to the page about the dismembered Auror who’d turned up in front of the Ministry of Magic, and my vague feelings of dread finally found something tangible to take hold of; the WLF was still out there, somewhere, and I was positive they hadn’t given up on trying to take me out.


	16. Arrivals and News

**Chapter 16:  Arrivals and News**

 

Arriving back at Colony House for Easter break was a new experience, as last year had been a mess with all of the WLF issues, not to mention the arrival of one James Potter.  Melody had sent a stuffed hippogriff for his birthday, and even though she wasn’t very confident about going into the Muggle world I’d had Melody pick out a copy of Winnie the Pooh for James.  I remembered having that book read to me as a child, and I hoped that James would eventually enjoy it as well.  As Lavinia and I arrived at the front door she looked up at me, somewhat nervously.

“Are you sure?”

“Lavinia, we’ve been over this a million times.  This house is as much yours as it is mine, now don’t worry.”  I opened the door and we walked in, putting our luggage on the floor.  “Mel?  Mel, we’re home!”

We waited for a while, but since Melody didn’t appear right away I looked over to Lavinia and shrugged.  “Come on, I think I have an idea.”

We walked into the living room, through the kitchen and into Lavinia’s room.  Sure enough, Melody was in there listening to her WUMP and arranging items on a shelf.  I went to Mel and tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump and almost drop a picture.  She took off her headphones and looked at me in irritation.

“Hank!  Don’t do that!”

“Well, turn down the WUMP.  Guess what?  We’re home.”

She shook her head at me.  “Obviously.”  She walked over and hugged Lavinia.  “Lavinia, I’m glad you’re here.  I hope you like your room.”

I watched her take a look around the room; Melody had done a great job of changing the room over from the spare bedroom, as the walls were now lilac, shelves were up with several pictures on them, and the desk was moved towards the window which was framed with cream colored curtains.  I noticed that some of the pictures contained Lavinia and what had to be her parents, and a picture of a younger Lavinia with her Aunt Tinney waved at me from the closest shelf.  Lavinia walked over to the closet and opened it up, and I felt my heart sink as I realized that the closet was empty.  That’s when the enormity of the situation really hit me; I knew that things would be hard for Lavinia, but the realization that she was not only starting over with a new bedroom but needed new, well, everything, was brought home dramatically. 

“Don’t worry, that’s one of the things we girls will take care of over holiday.  We’ll do some shopping.”  Melody smiled at Lavinia, and she simply nodded.

“I like the room.  Where’d you get the pictures?  Aunt Tinney?”

Melody sat down on the bed.  “Yes, she sent over a box of things for you.  Anything you don’t like we can change, and we can rearrange things, too.”

I watched Lavinia and Melody sit on the bed, and the two began chatting about clothing styles, where they would shop, if we could go to the Muggle shops, and I finally felt myself relax.  The tension that had built after bringing Lavinia to Colony House, walking into her new room and seeing the empty closet had dissipated, leaving me, well, hungry.

“Uh, ladies, what are we eating tonight?”

Melody gave me a large smile.  “I’m not sure, but we’re going to Diagon Alley.”

“What?  Diagon Alley?  Why?”

“Angelina is having us over.  George wants to show us something, and he said that you two needed to talk business.  Frankly, that scares me, but you don’t have to cook so I think it’s brilliant, none of your mess in the kitchen.  George said to show up right before the shop closes.  I don’t know what he has planned, but…”

“Mel, its George.  I’ve given up trying to figure that out.”

 

-ooo-

 

We arrived at the shop just before closing as requested, and a few straggling shoppers remained.  George and Angelina were working the shop personally, as George had given the staff the afternoon off.  As the last of the customers left I couldn’t help but smile as Lavinia walked through the shop, amazed at all of the products.  My heart sank when I watched her look at the prices then put things down and walk away.  Before I could say anything George walked straight up to Lavinia.

“Professor Weasley!  I love your shop!”

“Well, Miss Ryder, I’m not at Hogwarts anymore so you can call me The Magnificent Mr. Weasley, but that’s a mouthful so just call me George.  I know my outstanding teaching skills are still fresh in your mind, but things change.  I do have a task for you, though.  Ten Galleons, Lavinia.”

Lavinia looked at him, obviously confused.  “Ten Galleons?”

“Ok, fifteen.  That’s your budget.  I need your help to determine what second year girls prefer in the shop.  Baskets are by the counter, now hop to it.”

As Lavinia hurried off to grab a basket I looked over to George.  “Thanks.  Research, huh?”

“Don’t worry; I’m taking the Galleons out of your percentage, if I remember.  Now, let me give you a real tour around the shop.  Need to know these things if you’re going to properly write my birthday present.”

After walking around the shop, including the upstairs sections, we finally returned downstairs.  George had been, well, typical George, and I had a hard time trying to remember all of the things he had thrown out as background material; if I would have known I was “working” I would have brought a tape recorder or a notepad.  Instead I took it as an opportunity to get an overall background for the shop.  George saw Lavinia and her basket at the counter and stepped behind to tally up her “research.”

“Let’s take a look and see what my hot products will be, shall we?  Ok, one My Eyes Only Diary, one Hufflepuff Badger Quidditch Hat with sound effects…”  He looked over to me.  “The hat says kecker when Hufflepuff scores.”  George returned his attention to the basket.  “Two Canary Creams, Guaranteed Ten-Second Pimple Vanisher, a Patented Daydream Charm, always a good choice, several Ton-Tongue Toffees, and well…it seems the WonderWitch products are still popular.  One love potion.  Remember, it depends on the weight of the boy and the attractiveness of the girl.  You must be purchasing this one for a friend.  A few more odds and ends.  Grand total…perfect.”

George wrapped the products in a purple box and handed them to Lavinia.  Her smile was huge as she looked at me.

“I didn’t see anything.  If those turn up at school I have no knowledge of anything.  I wasn’t here, nobody saw me, and you can’t prove it.” 

As Angelina turned the sign in the window to Closed, George took off his purple robe.  “Now we can get to the good stuff.  Follow me.”

We all followed George back to the little room where I’d experienced WeasleyVision, but this time there were chairs available for everybody.  I knew what to expect but Melody and Lavinia were completely at a loss.  George informed us that he’d taken the camera around the shop to preserve it for posterity and to potentially use it as a commercial.  I sat and watched as George waved his wand at the chandelier box again, and soon we experienced WeasleyVision, which caused Melody and Lavinia to gasp.  The camera went around the shop and George detailed how he and Fred had started the shop due to an investment from a forward-thinking wizard, how some of the products were developed during the war to combat Voldemort, and how he was always expanding the product line with input from the creative imagination of new staff researchers.  I took that to mean Poesy, and sure enough the camera panned to a box of Bogey Blasts. 

George rose out of his seat, but before he could turn off WeasleyVision the scene changed, causing him to sit back down with a confused look on his face.  I looked over to Angelina, and she just pointed straight ahead.  The scene was George’s office, and after a moment the WeasleyVision Angelina seemed to walk through our chairs and sat at George’s desk.  She looked straight at the camera.

“George, I’ve been trying to get your attention all day but you’ve done nothing but walk around with that camera thing, so I figured this was the only way to make you listen.  I didn’t go to Hermione’s at lunch; I went to St. Mungo’s.  George, I’m pregnant.  We’re going to have a baby in December.  Congratulations, Daddy Weasley.”

I watched the WeasleyVision Angelina hold up a piece of parchment that must have confirmed she was pregnant, but I didn’t have much time to watch as George stood up, turned off WeasleyVision with a wave of his wand and began laughing.

“Good one, Ang.  You got me.  Very funny.”

“I’m not joking, George.  I’m pregnant.”  Angelina looked at George and shook her head.  “I’m pregnant.  Preggers.  With child.  Up the duff.  Bun in the oven.  Part of the Preggo Patrol.  I’ve got a little Weasley inside of me.”

I had held it together until then, but that was the last straw.  I busted out laughing, pointed at George, and continued laughing.

After threatening his wife with Veritaserum it finally sunk in for George that he was actually, truly, really going to be a father.  Melody and Lavinia congratulated Angelina, and I did as well, but I spent the majority of my time trying reassuring George that he would be a good father, but he didn’t say a word and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  It was after I’d exhausted almost all of my stock of platitudes on fatherhood when George looked up at me.

“That’s not what I’m worried about, Hank.  Of course I’ll be a brilliant father.  I’m worried about payback.”

“Payback?  What do you mean?”

“Ginny and Hermione.  I may have to hide out at your place for a while.”

Angelina came over and put her arm in George’s.  “No such luck.  They’re on their way over, along with your parents.  You can tell them when they get here.  Oh, and since we’re having everybody over I ordered Italian from that place we like.  You need to pick it up in a half hour, so pull it together.  Can’t have you splinch yourself.  The baby and I wouldn’t like that, especially if you drop the lasagna.”

George walked over to a cupboard, pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses and handed me one.  “I think I need this.”

“I’m pretty sure you do.  Hey, at least you know WeasleyVision can have a dramatic effect on people.”  I took the glass of firewhiskey and raised it towards him.  “To the next Weasley, may he or she not follow your rule-breaking legacy.”

At the table Melody laughed.  “Wishful thinking, Hank.  Wishful thinking.”

 

-ooo-

 

I sat at the table with the women as George went off to fetch the food, and the conversation turned to Melody and Lavinia’s upcoming shopping trip.  I pretty much tuned out; I was busy trying to calculate if I’d have enough money saved up to retire before the Potter and Weasley children entered Hogwarts.  It was only when Melody smacked my arm that I came to attention.

“What?  What’d I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, love.  Angelina and Lavinia have just given me a great idea for _Witch Weekly_!”  She turned to Lavinia and Angelina.  “I’ll talk to Margaret tomorrow, but it makes perfect sense!”

I was still confused, as usual.  “What makes perfect sense?”

“A section of _Witch Weekly_ for younger witches, maybe even their own magazine that focuses on fashion and other issues for girls.  It’s brilliant!”

Before the brilliance of teenage witch fashion could be elaborated upon Ron and Hermione arrived, and it was obvious from Hermione’s appearance that she was quite tired of being pregnant.  She still looked as if she had only swallowed a basketball, but now the basketball had grown considerably.  Ron held her arm and led her towards an empty seat, and she sat down in a series of slow, careful moves.  As he stood behind Hermione, Ron looked over at me and made an expression that told me he was ready for the baby to come as well; it looked to me as if he was as tired of Hermione being pregnant as Hermione was. 

After Hermione took off her coat I was surprised to see her wearing a Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes t-shirt.  “Aren’t you cold, Hermione?”

“No, Hank.  I’m not.  I’m bloody hot.  Where’s George?”

Angelina inhaled deeply.  “Um, he went to get the food.  How are you feeling?”

Hermione’s head jerked sharply in Ron’s direction, and her eyes narrowed, and quickly she returned her face to look at Angelina.  “He asks me that every five minutes.  I swear if I hear that one more bloody time I’m going to hex the next person who asks.”

I’m glad I’m not Harry Potter, as when he and Ginny and James entered the flat that was the first thing out of his mouth to Hermione, and she did hex him, right in the face.  Melody told me that it was a Stinging Hex, and instead of receiving sympathy from Ginny, Harry found himself on the wrong side of the two pregnant witches, as Ginny told Hermione that Harry deserved it, as the other day she’d asked Harry if he thought she was bigger than when she was pregnant with James and he’d said yes.  As Angelina helped fix Harry’s face Arthur and Molly arrived, and Arthur’s eyes were wide when he saw Harry.

“Boys, I told you to watch your words, but I don’t believe you listened, did you?”

As Percy and Audrey arrived, followed by Fleur, Bill and Victoire, the flat above the shop was full of people when George arrived with several bags of food.  He sat the food down on the table, looked around the room, and pulled himself up to his full height.

“I’d like to make an announcement.  They were unfortunately out of cannoli, so you’re on your own for dessert.”

Most of the assembled crowd seemed indifferent except for Ginny, who was not pleased.  Unlike Hermione who simply gained her weight in her stomach, Ginny seemed to have swelled all over, especially in her stomach.  Upon hearing about the cannoli, Harry leaned over and whispered to me that since Ginny had heard about cannoli he was probably going to need to make a trip to find some for later, probably around three in the morning.  I laughed, but after looking at Ginny stare at the two of us I stopped immediately. 

After Lavinia sat with James and Victoire by her own choice we settled around the table and the sofa and other chairs as possible since the table couldn’t hold everyone at the same time.  I kept looking over to Melody and Angelina, wondering when George would make the big announcement.  I couldn’t decide if he was trying to summon the courage or was enjoying the “torture” of us knowing and not saying anything because George seemed as cool as always. 

I had just taken a bite of lasagna when George said in the middle of a conversation on racing brooms “By the way, just thought I’d tell everyone, Angelina’s pregnant.  Baby’s due in December.”

Molly had bread in her hand when she stopped and looked at Angelina, who nodded.  The bread instantly fell to the table, Molly clapped her hands together and before anyone could move she was over to Angelina.  Harry and Ron looked at each other and shook their heads.

Bill looked at George.  “Poor Angelina.  Pass the meatballs.”

 

-ooo-

 

As the evening’s excitement wound down, and the food dwindled, the crowd began dispersing.  Percy and Audrey left first, as she had an early shift at St. Mungo’s, which gave the assembled crowd a chance to discuss how they thought Audrey was very good for Percy.  Hermione and Ron left next, as she was feeling very tired, followed shortly by Harry and Ginny.  Harry was right, though, as I heard her tell him that as soon as they put James down for the night Harry needed to go out and find some cannoli.  I sat with Bill and Arthur and had a cup of coffee while the women discussed baby names.

I looked at the crowd at the table, and then thought back about the crowds of Weasleys earlier and at The Burrow on previous occasions.  “Arthur, how did you and Molly do it?  I mean, seven kids?”

Arthur winked at Bill.  “A very good locking spell on the door.”

“Dad!”  Bill covered his eyes with his hand.  “Please.”

Arthur chuckled.  “To answer your question, Hank, I’m not sure.  A lot of luck, communication and compromise.  Planning on following in our footsteps?”

“No.  Well, yes.  Sort of.  Um, let me ask you, what do you think of Sybill Trelawney’s prophecies?”

I recounted my encounter with Sybill, her prophecy and the part that had already come true.  Bill was skeptical, as he thought that her visions were usually so broad that anyone could find something to fit, but Arthur didn’t agree. 

“She may not always be spot-on, but I wouldn’t discount her entirely.  May take some time for everything to work itself out.”

Angelina and Melody finalized their plans to take Lavinia shopping the next day and I shook hands with George.

“You know I might just give your kid a detention on the first day.  Pre-emptive strike.”

“Won’t do any good.  You know those don’t work.  Stop by tomorrow and we can get started on my birthday present.”

“Sure thing, Daddy Weasley.”

“I think I could get used to that.”

 

-ooo-

 

The rest of the Easter break went by in a wonderfully quiet fashion.  I visited George at the shop several times, and I remembered to take a small tape recorder to get my notes down while Melody and the other witches took Lavinia shopping.  There was the one time when we went into Muggle London, and I had to remind Lavinia of her first year of Muggle Studies to keep her from making comments about how I paid for things with my credit cards.  Hermione was due at any time, but things were very quiet in Satterbourne as we didn’t receive any owls.  I did have one meeting with Ian Coswock, and as usual my agent was very excited, this time about the use of my Muggle Studies textbook at Hogwarts.  I did find out that the American publishing rights for _My_ _Wand is Useless_ had been secured, and the book would go on sale in America, actually the UMS, in July.  The timeframe gave me an idea, so I discussed it with Ian and he said he’d start the arrangements, and frankly that made me nervous.  I sent Nate a note for backup.

Late on the Saturday afternoon before the end of the holiday I sat at my desk and looked up from my notes on George’s shop, and what I saw made me happy.  Lavinia sat in one of the chairs, reading one of her textbooks, and she looked like any other normal almost-teenager.  Well, normal for the Wizarding world, I guessed.  Instead of her Hogwarts uniform she had on a pair of jeans, running shoes (or trainers, as I was informed) and a hooded sweatshirt.  The holiday had been thankfully short on awkward moments; there was the one time I forgot Lavinia was in the house and came into the kitchen after a shower only wearing a towel, but besides that it had been a fairly easy transition.  Luckily Lavinia seemed to like cooking, so she was my assistant in the kitchen.  Melody was still a culinary disaster except for eggs, but between Lavinia and me we managed.

We had cleared the table and washed the dishes when Lavinia looked over to me with a hesitant look on her face.  “Profes…Hank?”

“Yes?”

“Can we watch one of your moobies?”

“Movies.  Sure.  I’ll finish drying, only a few things left.  Go pick something out and tell Melody its movie time.  I’ll make the popcorn.”

After pausing the movie and explaining how Ferris Beuller could have used magic to fool his parents instead of his complicated, Rube Goldberg methods, Melody had just pushed Play on the remote when the fireplace lit up with the green, flame-composed face of Ginny Potter.

“Sorry to bother you so late, but Harry and I have to leave the house for a few hours.  Would it be too much trouble for you to watch James?”

“We’d love to!”

Lavinia had answered rather quickly, and Melody and I looked at her, sitting between us, and then at each other.  I chuckled.  “No problem, Ginny.  Come on over, we’re just watching a movie.”

Moments later Ginny and James arrived via Floo along with all of James’ paraphernalia.  As she sat the baby bag and portable sleeper crib thingy on the ground she looked at us apologetically.

“I’m sorry for such short notice, but it couldn’t be helped.  I’ll explain later, but it’s nothing horrible.  Hopefully it shouldn’t take too long, but if it runs late I’ll send you a message.”

Lavinia happily took the sleeping James Potter into her arms.  “It’s no problem, Mrs. Potter.  Take as much time as you need.”

“Just Ginny, dear.  Now he’s been fed and changed, so he should sleep for a while.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.  Thanks again.”

 

-ooo-

 

We watched the rest of the movie with Lavinia holding James, and it was almost time for bed when Ginny Floo’d us again.

“I’m sorry it’s taking so long.   I finally got Ron to agree, so if you want, and I know it’s late, you could come to St. Mungo’s if you want to.

I looked at Melody, and it was obvious from her face she realized what was going on, even if I was completely clueless. 

“Of course, Ginny!  We’ll be right there.”

After Ginny’s face left the Floo I looked over to Mel.  “What’s going on?”

“You silly man, Hermione’s having the baby!”

When we arrived at St. Mungo’s it wasn’t the giant crowd that I expected; I only saw one reporter and a photographer, and the waiting room only held Molly, Arthur, Harry, Ginny and Hermione’s parents.  Molly immediately took James and I went over to Arthur and Gordon Granger.

“What’s the latest?”

Both of the men seemed very pleased, and Gordon clapped me on the shoulder.  “A healthy baby!  Ron won’t tell us anything besides that, he just stuck his head out and said the Hermione was brilliant and the baby was here, that’s it.”

Before I could say anything else Ron walked into the waiting room with a small bundle of pink blankets.  “It’s a girl.  I’d like you to meet Rose.”

After tears and congratulations from the family, I was finally able to shake Ron’s hand.  “Congrats, Ron.  She’s beautiful.  I was a little surprised to not see the entire Weasley clan, though.”

“That’s how Hermione wanted it.  She said that Ginny might have liked having a crowd during everything but if I did that to her, well, let’s just say Rose would be an only child.”

The messages went out and soon we were surrounded by the entire Weasley clan except Charlie.  George immediately began telling Ron how he’d have to watch out for all of the boys, and suggested several of his products to keep tabs on her, but Angelina dragged him away. 

Suddenly things hit me, and I sat down.  This was what was going to happen to me eventually, not once but if Sybill was right at least twice.  I watched Melody hold James while talking to Audrey, and he had a fistful of her hair, which she gently removed.  My whole family would end up over here, and...wait, besides my parents and my brothers and sister, _this_ was my family.  I’d been adopted by the Weasleys and the Potters.  I always knew that, in some part of my mind, but it became crystal clear for the first time in my life.  All of the struggles and fears from the first year came flashing back, and I realized how all of the people in front of me had done everything to help me, to save me, to make me feel at home.  I had changed my life, _they_ had changed my life, and I was now and until the day I died part of this world.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried, but I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them.

I don’t know how long I sat like that but I was watching Ron hold Rose when Molly sat down quietly beside me.  She put her hand on my arm, and I looked over to her.

“Hank, are you all right?”

“I am, Molly.  I am.  It’s just…you and Arthur, and everybody, it’s…you’re, I…family it’s…”

“Oh, my dear, I understand.  Even though you’re not my child I think of you as my own.  Your mother and I have talked, and…”

“Mom?  What’d Mom say?”

“She asked me to look after you.  To be honest she said that you tend to dwell on the bad things, imagine the worst possible scenarios and work yourself up into a right state.  Seeing Ron with the new baby’s made you think of what could happen, that the baby would be a Muggle or a squib, hasn’t it?  Well don’t worry, Hank.  I’m sure everything will be fine.”

I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure.  I really didn’t know what to say, so I kept quiet.

Molly patted my arm again.  “She also said that you tend to be very quiet, especially when you’re mulling things over, so instead I’ll talk for you.  You have a wonderful woman who loves you, a large group of friends and a family that’s adopted you, whether you realize it or not.  You were almost a Weasley; one of your ancestors was engaged to a Weasley but they never married.  Still, if your hair was just a little more red…”

That made me laugh.  I looked down at the floor, then over to Molly.  “Thanks, Mom.”

 

-ooo-

 

When Melody, Lavinia and I returned back at Colony House it was quite late, or quite early, depending on your point of view.  Since Lavinia and I would have to return back to Hogwarts soon we all went to bed as quickly as possible, but I tossed and turned for a while before finally falling asleep.  Sometime later I woke up with a massive thirst, and after sliding as quietly out of bed as possible I left the bedroom to get a drink of water. 

When I opened the door to the kitchen something was wrong; well, not exactly wrong, but it was different.  Everything seemed to be in the same place, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I walked over to the cupboard to get a glass, and I noticed something on the refrigerator and stopped immediately.  On the fridge were pictures, obviously drawn by a child, as well as photographs.  I scanned a photo and small children waved at me, a boy and a girl as they stood by a very pregnant Melody.  Another picture showed what I took to be a much older Lavinia holding hands with a tall young man, and then there I was, almost completely bald with a white goatee, sleeping in a chair while George Weasley made faces at the camera and waved his wand at me from behind the chair.  In my half-awake state I stood and stared at the photos for a moment then got my glass of water, drank it straightaway, sat the glass on the kitchen counter and headed back to bed. 

The next morning when I woke up before Melody I snuck a hand around her stomach, and for some reason I expected her to be very pregnant, but it couldn’t be, as it was only a dream.

“Mmm, what’re you doing?  It’s too early.”

“Mel, I had the craziest dream.  Well, I think it was a dream.  Wake up.”

“You won some book prize, wonderful.  Let me go back to sleep.”

“No Mel, it’s not like that.  Listen.”

I finally got Melody to wake up enough so she could listen, and as I told her about my dream, or waking dream, she looked at me and rubbed her forehead. 

“So you’re saying you’re going to go almost completely bald?  I guess that’s ok.”

“Mel!  The hell with my hair, what do you think about the kids?  You were really pregnant, I mean _really_ pregnant.  And Lavinia, what about…”

“It’s a dream, Hank.  You’ve been worried about things, I know it, and after seeing Rose at the hospital, and your talk with Molly…yes, I saw, well…it was a dream, Hank.  A nice dream, but it was just a dream.”

 

-ooo-

 

Lavinia and I returned back to Hogwarts by deciding to walk, since the weather was surprisingly decent, and Stintborough was just outside of Hogsmeade.  When we arrived I watched Lavinia greet her friends, and I scanned the students, trying to figure if any of the boys would grow up to look like the boy I saw in the dream. 

I hurriedly stored my things and made my way to Sybill’s.  When I knocked on her door I didn’t get any answer, so I stood there not knowing what to do; in my mind she’d open the door and tell me what my dream meant, if it was literal or symbolic, and how I had the gift of something or other.  Instead, I stood there for a while and didn’t do anything, and eventually made my way back to my room.  There would be plenty of time to talk to Sybill; after all, I’d see her at supper.

As I sat between Cho and Neville and talked about our holidays I was distracted, as I kept glancing over to Sybill’s normal spot, which remained empty.  When I turned back I suddenly realized the answer to one of my questions was sitting right next to me.  

“Cho, I hate to ask, but, um, are you seeing anybody?  My old college roommate is coming over for the wedding, and well, he doesn’t have a date and it wouldn’t be anything except…”

She held up her hand slightly.  “I’m sorry, Hank, but I am seeing someone.  He’s a Muggle from London.  I haven’t really said anything to him about my being a witch yet, and…I’m sure your friend is very nice.  Sorry.”

“Sure, Cho.  No problem.  Sorry.”  _Shit.  There went that idea._  

I returned to my plate, but saw something out of the corner of my eye, and sure enough Sybill sat in her usual spot next to Hagrid.  Without saying anything to Cho or Neville I got up and moved quickly over to her side.

“Sybill, do you have a moment?  I have a question about a dream.”

She looked at me for a while through her giant, thick-lenses and didn’t say anything, but took a hold of my hand and seemed to peer at it for the longest time.

“My dear, I don’t know if your dreams are anything more than…”

“Yes?  What is it?”

“The Seer’s line is very faint, and broken.  You may have some sight, but it will be as faint and indifferent as the sun in the middle of winter.  As the line is broken you cannot have true sight, perhaps a flash, but nothing definite.”

I looked up at her intently.  “Does that mean that my dream was a look into the future?  It agreed with your prophecy.”

She dropped my hand.  “My prophecy?  I don’t know what you’re talking about; I’ve never had a vision concerning you.  I’m sorry, Professor.”

 

-ooo-

 

For the next week I eased back into classes along with my students, as nobody seemed to want to really buckle down.  I admit that I let some things slide a bit, but after that week I ramped up the assignments and work back to pre-holiday levels.  I was informed by my irritated calendar that there were only two months of the school year left and a little over three months until my wedding.  That meant finals, in more ways than one.  My final few months of being a bachelor, and finals that I hadn’t even started creating yet for my students. 

I spent the next few days working on the final, and except for Neville’s visits and one occasion where I had to discipline a Hufflepuff boy who was caught out after curfew with his Ravenclaw girlfriend, I stayed in my room when I wasn’t teaching or doing my other duties.  I also received several owls from Melody, and she’d scheduled the third Saturday in June as the Muggle Studies party at Colony House.  I knew that Lavinia and Melody had been talking, but the party did throw one wrench into my finals plan, as I couldn’t really do the practical part of the exam at Colony House if the students were there two weeks before exams.  I restructured everything to address all of the lessons in essay and multiple choice versions.  I didn’t like using multiple choice, and I know the students didn’t like it either, but I really didn’t have too much of an option.  Besides, it would make things easier for the younger students who didn’t have the benefit of a full year of Muggle Studies.  The older students didn’t have a full year of Muggle Studies as far as I was concerned, as they had the Flurbin approved curriculum, so it wouldn’t be fair to them, either.

 

-ooo-

 

Saturday afternoon I was in my office, grading parchment when Lavinia stopped by unannounced.  She seemed nervous, for some reason, but I didn’t want to say anything so I simply had her come in and take a seat.

“Um, Professor, I know you said we could have supper sometimes in your room, um, and I wondered if I could bring some friends?”

“Sure, Lavinia.  How many?”

“Two, is that ok?”

“Sure.  Seven o’clock ok to eat?”

She nodded and left quickly.  I wondered what was going on, but figured I’d find out in a few hours.  I kept grading papers for an hour or so, but eventually I got tired of it and sat my glasses down on the table.  After rubbing my eyes I noticed a box in the corner of my office, something that hadn’t been there before the holiday.  After making my way over there I noticed that the box was from Ian Coswock, took an envelope from the top of the box, and began reading.  Ian had, through his publishing connections, provided me advanced copies of some new books he thought I might be interested in.  I flipped through the titles, in their publisher’s draft or review versions, and a few actually did look interesting.  I threw the copy of _Famous Wizarding Weddings_ on the nearby table and sat _The Tourist’s Guide to Magical Britain_ on the shelf, but it was the book with the pale blue cover that I immediately began to read.

I don’t know exactly how long I was reading before I heard the knock on the door, and put a bookmark in _Untold Stories of the Second War_ before answering the door.  I was expecting them, so I wasn’t sure why I was really surprised, but there stood Lavinia, Ruby and the boy from the Quidditch match. 

“Come on in.  Sorry about the mess.”  I watched them walk in, and Lavinia seemed nervous.  So did the boy, for that matter.

Ruby took the lead.  “Professor, this is my cousin, William Smythe.”

I put out my hand towards the boy.  “Nice to meet you, William.”

He shook my hand quickly and seemed ill at ease.  “Will’s fine, Professor.  I’ll be taking your class next year.  This year, um…”

“This year’s been a mess, to say the least.  Come on, sit down.  Enough about Muggle Studies, I’ve been grading papers for a while now and need a break.  What sounds good tonight?”

After we’d eaten the requested pizza and complimented Neeker’s cooking, the conversation turned to the Quidditch Cup and I saw Lavinia seem to sit a little bit closer to Will than normal.  Melody was right, Lavinia did have a boyfriend. 

After a pleasant evening discussing mostly Hogwarts things and a few Muggle topics they left and I sat down and sent a letter to Melody.  I told her that Lavinia had brought her boyfriend around to supper, even if Lavinia didn’t actually tell me that he was her boyfriend, he was a very nice fourth year Hufflepuff and cousin of Ruby Smythe-Warring, and I felt older than dirt.


	17. The First Annual Hogsmeade Swearing Party

**Chapter 17: The First Annual Hogsmeade Swearing Party**

 

Things had been going so well in my fifth year Muggle Studies class that I was completely taken off-guard by what happened on the first Friday of May; the moment I went to take a second drink of my tea I found, to my horror, that instead of tea my cup contained a thick, blue slime.  After what had happened the year before you would have thought that I would be used to it, but I had gone almost the entire year without anything happening, so of course I reacted badly.  I said a string of bad words, dropped my teacup on the floor and almost fell over Liv Wapping.  I figured I’d ask before finding George’s special notebook which was buried somewhere in my desk, and surprisingly, Peter Sawgrass held up his hand immediately after my question to the class.  I didn’t expect that.

“Mr. Sawgrass, any particular reason you’re aiming for detention?”

“We had a bet on how many swear words you could say in a row, an’ we have to make sure there’s enough money in the Hogsmeade fund.  It’s next weekend, you know.”

I looked over as Franny Ellsworth held my swear book, and I had to rummage through my pockets and my desk to find the appropriate amount of money to deposit.  Franny just smiled at me when I dropped the money into the hollowed-out portion of the book and I shook my head.  Those two are a deadly combination.  I watched Ruby Smythe-Warring repair my teacup with her wand, and Carrick Frye siphoned up the blue slime with his wand and assured me it was nothing bad.   At least the cleaning was done.

“Ok, here’s the deal, you little troublemakers.  Any more intentional, um, magic things that make me say bad words won’t count towards the Hogsmeade fund.  I’m taking five points away from Slytherin for causing a disturbance in class, but I’m also giving four points to Slytherin for being creative.”

Peter shook his head.  “Why didn’t you just take away one point, then?”

“Enough, Sawgrass.  Want me to really penalize you?  Now let’s get to…”

I was interrupted by a knock on the door, and in my mood I wasn’t very charitable about the interruption.  “Ok, now what?  This better be good.”

Gavin Titus stood at my door, and he looked amused.  “Sorry to interrupt, Professor, but this message just came for you.  I happened to be heading this way, so I thought I would drop it by your classroom.”

 _Crap!_   “Um, ok, thanks Headmaster.  Ruby can you get that for me?”

With a smile Ruby looked at the Headmaster and then with a flick of her wand the message floated over to me, another example of my students taking every opportunity to use magic in my class and rub in the fact that my book title was embarrassingly correct.  Titus excused himself, and I read the note quickly.  I hadn’t planned on saying anything to my class, but my exclamation of “holy shit!” ruined that idea.

I looked up to see every head turned my way except for Franny, who headed back to the bookshelf for the swear book again.  “Ok, I’ll tell you.  Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter welcomed their second son into the world this morning.  His name is Albus, and I’ve been asked to go to St. Mungo’s along with my fiancée later this afternoon, as soon as classes are done.  And, um, I can’t believe this, I’m his godfather.”

I was congratulated by the class, and Franny held the book out to me.  I was out of money, so I had to write an IOU and leave it in the book.  If I didn’t stop swearing in class I’d eventually spend enough money to buy everyone in Muggle Studies their own top of the line broom.

 

-ooo-

 

I re-read the letter at my desk after class had ended, and Melody apologized but hoped I wouldn’t mind that she accepted being godparents to Albus Severus Potter before asking me.  I didn’t mind, not at all; I was just flabbergasted that Harry and Ginny asked me, of all people.  I figured it would be George and Angelina that would be godparents, as Ron and Hermione were James’ godparents.  Godfather, that meant a lot.  I thought about how far things had come since I arrived in Britain, I’d become engaged, I’m a legal guardian to a twelve-year old girl and now I’m godfather to not only a new baby but the son of the most famous couple in the whole Wizarding world.  Holy crap.  Melody’s note also said that Harry and Ginny hadn’t told anyone who the godparents were yet, that Ginny was resting comfortably at St. Mungo’s and she thought that Albus would have Harry’s eyes. 

I stopped by Titus’ office and apologized for my rude welcome earlier in the day, and after explaining what had happened he simply laughed at me.  Since it was Friday afternoon, and there wasn’t anything planned for the weekend he told me to take Saturday off and promised to cover Hufflepuff House for me.  The difference between Flurbin and Titus was so vast that it was hard to believe that I was still at the same school, but if Titus actually became Headmaster…well, I could definitely see myself at Hogwarts for a long, long time.

 

To be quite honest I really didn’t get a lot accomplished in the last few classes, as Sawgrass’ scheme to make me say bad words was not limited to the fifth year class.  I carried George’s notebook with me for the rest of the day, and sure enough I’d see names of kids who were normally perfect students in the book, and sometimes I could figure out what had happened before I could walk into whatever they had cooked up for me.  The kicker to the day was when my two seventh year Ravenclaw students, the two most dedicated students in all of my Muggle Studies classes hit me with the one-two punch of making my chair legs wobble and turning the floor as slick as a sheet of ice.  When I sat down my chair began to wobble, so when I tried to stand up I completely slipped and landed on the floor.  Graceful as always, I landed right on my butt and I couldn’t help myself and said another string of bad words. 

“Doesn’t count, that was intentional!  No Hogsmeade money for that.  Honestly, you two, I expected it out of…let me guess who gave you the idea.”

Daisy Fawltkip and Kitty Dorrington may be good at magic, but they’re horrible at hiding things, so I knew right away.  “That’s it.  Five points from…”

The horrified expressions on their faces almost made me laugh, as I guessed that neither of them had ever lost points for Ravenclaw.  I let it linger in the air for a while.

“Five points from Slytherin.”  I shook my head and muttered “Sawgrass.”

 

-ooo-

 

I quickly packed everything up and made my way down to the Great Hall, where I was met by Neville.  “Nev, you hear about today?  Repeat of last year.”

“If I make you swear will you take me to Hogsmeade?  Sounds like it should be a rather good party.”

“Funny.  So what’s up?”

“I’m your apparition mate to St. Mungo’s.  Come on, Hannah sent me an owl.  She and Melody are waiting for us there.”

A short walk to an apparition-enabled site and a quick stomach-churning trip later Neville and I stood at the entrance of St. Mungo’s, and I don’t know why I didn’t expect it but there were photographers and media people everywhere.

“Professor Muggle!  Professor Longbottom!  Care to say a few words to the press?  Is it a boy or a girl?  You can tell us!”

I ducked behind Neville and we waved off the press and eventually made our way inside.  For some reason I’d forgotten that Harry and Ginny would have to put up with the press, but luckily I didn’t see Rita Skeeter, so there was at least one positive.  After making our way down several hallways we eventually ended up in the maternity ward, and unlike when Hermione had Rose the entire Weasley clan was waiting. 

Arthur walked up to me and shook my hand.  “I know you’ll do a wonderful job, Hank.”

“Um, thanks, Arthur.  To be honest, I’m a little…”

“Hank?  Oh I’m so glad you’re here.”  Melody stood by the door that led from the waiting room to the private rooms with a giant smile on her face.  “Sorry, I might have let it slip we’re the godparents.”

I headed over to Melody and was greeted by a giant hug and a small kiss.  “Mel, we’re not even married yet.  What happens if…”

That was exactly the wrong thing to say, as her face darkened.  “What are you saying?  Are you backing out on me?  I have my wand…”

“No, no, not at all.  It’s just…it’s a lot to take in.”

She smirked at me in that way she has that said she was just messing with me, and without saying another word she took my hand and we headed towards Ginny’s room.  When we stepped in the room Ginny was feeding the baby, so I hurriedly started examining the light fixtures and anything else not on the same plane of vision as Ginny’s bed.  Melody laughed, and after telling me that Ginny was appropriately covered I took a look.  Harry was sitting by the bed, snoring slightly in a chair and Ginny was beaming.  After waking Harry with her free hand, he rose and came over to us, looking very tired but ecstatic.

“Congrats, Harry.  Another boy, huh? 

“Thanks.  Yeah, Ginny was hoping for a girl.  I told her maybe next time.  Word of advice; don’t say anything about another baby right after your wife’s given birth.  Completely the wrong time.”

I snuck a quick look at Ginny, who was handing Albus to Melody.  “I’ll try to remember that.  Harry, uh, don’t take this the wrong way, but ah, why me?  I can’t do magic, how can I be a proper godfather to him?  Harry, you’re the most famous wizard in the world.  He needs somebody who can really be…”

Harry held up his hand, and the look in his eyes made the rest of my sentence die in my throat.  “Hank, that’s one of the reasons why we picked you to be his godfather.  You are a crap wizard, that’s true, but you see things differently.  You don’t act like I’m famous; you treat me like everybody else.  He’s going to need that.  I mean, we did name him after two of the greatest wizards I’ve ever known, and that’s a lot to live up to, especially as he’s my son.  He’ll need someone to give him perspective, and I think you and Melody can do that.”

Now that made me take a deep breath, and it was several moments before I could say anything.  “I get it.  I get it.  Thank you, Harry.  I’m very honored that you and Ginny…thanks.”

Melody stood by my side and elbowed me.  “Would you like to hold your godson, Hank?”

I took Albus into my arms, and looking down at him for some reason I saw a flash in my mind of the Hufflepuff common room.  I shook it off.  After all, if there was ever a family with a Gryffindor pedigree, this was it.  “Hey there Albus.  I’m your godfather Hank.  Don’t worry, I’ll teach you about The Clash and videogames as soon as possible.”

The rest of the evening was spent in and out of Ginny’s room and the waiting room, visiting with the assembled Weasleys.  Charlie’s owl arrived and the letter complained that not only did he have to miss Rose’s birth but he had to miss Albus’ as well, since he’d used his forced vacation at New Year’s.  He promised to visit as soon as possible, and I had a guess that when he did arrive his visit would coincide with Kristine Tinney’s visit to see Lavinia. 

I was surprised to see Margaret, Melody’s boss at _Witch Weekly_ walk in with a photographer, and Melody just smiled at me when she saw my reaction.  I figured I’d find out soon enough, and sat down on a sofa next to Hermione, who had just started to feed Rose, causing another close examination of the lighting sources of St. Mungo’s.  Ron covered her and Rose with a blanket in the strategic areas, and laughed at me.  Hey, maybe he was used to it, but after all it was his wife, not mine.

“How are you two doing, Hermione?”

“Really well, thank you.  Ron is actually a great help.  He hears her crying before I do, and he does it every night, even on the days he has to work.  He’s still not a very good cook but he’s trying.”

“That’s good to hear.  So how long are you taking off from work?  Surely the Ministry’s given you a long maternity leave.”

“Well, I have been doing some things, just to keep up with paperwork.  My assistant brings things over and picks up things to take back that have to be handled right away.  Which reminds me...Hank, your friend from America needs a date for your wedding, doesn’t he?”

I laughed.  “You should seriously open a matchmaking business, Hermione.”

She looked perturbed and shook her head.  “Don’t print up the invitations to their wedding yet, Hank, I’m just trying to help out.  My assistant asked if I would like her to watch Rose on your wedding day, and I told her I had a different idea.  She was very glad to accept; after all, it will be a big event.  She said she’d love to go to a celebrity wedding.”

“Celebrity?  What are you talking about?”

I got one of the looks that I’d seen her give Ron before, the kind that let me know she thought the other person was being thick.  “Hank, you are a celebrity.  You’re an author, you’ve been in _The Prophet,_ and you’re the first Muggle, well mostly-Muggle to ever teach at Hogwarts.  Everybody knows who you are.  Whether you like it or not you’re a celebrity.”

 _Holy shit, I’d never thought of it like that.  Having famous friends it never dawned on me that I would be considered even remotely in their realm._ “Wow.  Um, I guess.  Ok, so what’s your assistant’s name?  And how old is she, and…”

“Honestly, Hank.  It’s a date for a wedding, that’s it.  Her name is Ovelia Mimkins, and she’s in her, oh I don’t know, early thirties.  She was in Ravenclaw, wonderful at her job, though I think sometimes she might be a little too involved with work.”

 _Well, this was going to be interesting.  For Hermione, the biggest workaholic I knew in the Wizarding world to call someone too involved was a surprise.  I had a feeling the assistant said yes because Hermione had asked her to, regardless of whatever celebrity was getting married._ “Sounds great, Hermione.  I’ll let Mike know that his plus-one is taken care of.  Thanks.”

After wheedling the information out of Melody I found out that Ginny and Harry had given the exclusive picture rights and story about Albus to Melody and _Witch_ _Weekly_ , with all picture proceeds going once again towards the War Orphans fund.  Melody told me that Ginny thought it only right that Albus’ godmother should be the one to tell everybody, and I had a flashback to when James was born, the whole press issue and the big kiss, but before I could say anything Neville tapped me on the arm.  I said goodbye to everybody, especially the Potters, kissed Melody and before I knew it Neville and I were once again walking up to the Hogwarts gates.

“Neville, that was one hell of a day.  Shit, I’m not even married yet and I have a second year student and a new godson.”

“Look on the bright side, Hank.  Now you have some incentive to clean up your language.”

“You’re a terrible friend, Neville.”  I watched Neville smile, and then something I never imagined happened.

“Kiss my arse, Hank.”

After I stopped laughing I looked at him.  “What would Hannah say?”

“That you’re a horrible influence.”

 

-ooo-

 

The rest of the next week went well except for all of my Muggle Studies students taking every opportunity to remind me that Saturday was the last Hogsmeade weekend.  Thankfully my rule of no obvious attempts to make me swear had taken hold, and I didn’t need George’s special notebook.  We covered the topics well and made good progress, as well as some interesting discussions, so I felt pretty good about treating them.  After the end of Thursday’s classes I took out the swear book and was shocked to discover how much money was in there, and I made a promise to myself to stop saying as many bad words in class.  I sent George an owl and he agreed to help with the preparations, so on Friday afternoon I felt as ready as I would ever be; this would be a dry run of sorts for the whole Muggle Club party at the house, and hopefully I’d figure out what I was in for.

Unfortunately for me, even though I knew Saturday would be a big day I stayed up reading _Untold Stories of the Second War_ , as I couldn’t put it down.  I couldn’t believe all of the things in that book, especially some of the things that Harry, Hermione and Ron had done.  They were just teenagers, barely seventeen!  I couldn’t believe that they were so normal now after going through all of those things.  It also brought into painfully sharp relief how important it was that I was as good a godfather to Albus Potter as possible.  Some of the things they had done were in _The History of Magic_ , but if the other stories were true…good grief. 

I stayed up reading until I fell asleep with my glasses on, never a good thing, and the knock on the door came entirely too early. I stumbled out of bed and put on my robe, and after answering the door I wasn’t surprised.  Carrick Frye and Ruby-Smythe Warring stood waiting.

“Ruby, Carrick, do you know what time it is?  It’s early.”

Ruby shook her head.  “It isn’t, Professor.  It’s almost noon.  We’ve all been waiting downstairs in the Great Hall since breakfast.”

 _Noon?  Holy shit.  My plans were for things to start at around ten in the morning._ “Great, we’re already behind schedule.  Give me ten minutes and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

After throwing on the first clothes I could find I made my way downstairs and found every one of my Muggle Studies students waiting.  Peter Sawgrass looked up at me, tapped his watch and shook his head.  _Wonderful._

“Ok, let’s get going.  Our first stop is Honeyduke’s.”

That caused some happy responses, and we started our walk down to Hogsmeade.  During the walk I was asked by several girls about Melody’s article in _Witch Weekly_ , which arrived on Friday.  I confirmed that I was Albus Potter’s godfather, which somehow turned into a rolling conversation about babies and made almost every boy uncomfortable.  I don’t know who was happier, me or Angus Wandsworth, when we finally arrived at Honeyduke’s.  Before we entered I stood in front of the door and held up my hand.

“Ok, here’s the deal.  You each have a five Galleon credit to spend here.  Anything over that comes out of your own pocket, and we have to leave on the half hour as we’re due at The Three Broomsticks.”

I opened the door and the tide of students almost bowled me over.  After entering I found the witch in charge of the shop, and she confirmed that she’d spoken to George and everything had been taken care of.  I watched my students gather their sweets, and when they arrived at the counter I let the witch know that the student was one of my Muggle Studies group, and she pulled out special bags from behind the counter.  That should have been my first clue, but I didn’t think of it at the time. 

As we headed out the door and started towards The Three Broomsticks I heard the very hearty and unmistakable laughter of Peter Sawgrass.  “Yes, Peter, what is it?  What’s so funny?”

“This is the best Chocolate Frog card ever.”  He held a card out to me.

I took it from him.  “Fuck.” 

After quieting their laughter I informed them that we were already at Hogsmeade and it didn’t count.  I should have known better than to think that George would just help me out without any type of prank, as the card in my hand was a copy of the Chocolate Frog card he’d given me at New Year’s, the one that had a picture of me drooling in the picture on the front and the less than complimentary text on the back.  This time, the top of the card said “Muggle Studies Special Edition” in glowing blue letters. 

When we arrived at The Three Broomsticks we were led to our private room, where lunch was served.  As the drinks were brought to the table, a glass of firewhiskey was sat in front of me, and I looked up to the server.

“Mr. Weasley said you’d need it.”

I just nodded.  I’d need it…George was going to get it when we got to his shop after lunch.  Surprisingly after the Chocolate Frog fiasco lunch was very enjoyable, as I got to see my students interact while not in my classroom or in Muggle Club, and it was interesting to see the difference.  My serious students seemed to let their hair down, so to speak, and I found myself feeling very relaxed.  The combination of the atmosphere, a nice lunch and a glass of firewhiskey made me somewhat talkative, and I truly enjoyed answering questions.  Luckily most were about my education, and I told them mostly about college, something the Wizarding world seemed to lack. 

After finishing lunch we made our way over to George’s shop, and George was ready for us as he met us at the door.

“Congratulations to each of you, I’m glad your little brains aren’t permanently scarred by Professor Muggle’s horrible language.  In honor of your survival, you each have a fifteen Galleon credit here at the shop.  Baskets are by the counter, have fun!”

As soon as they left I pulled out my wand and pointed it at George.  “Very funny with the Chocolate Frog cards.  How many more of those are around?”

George shook his head and laughed.  “Put that thing down before you set my hair on fire.  I only had enough made for your class, that’s it.  And before you do something stupid, mate, I’d like to find out how my birthday present is coming along.  Have a meeting in France next week.”

“Next week?  Crap, I don’t have that much done yet, George.”

“Well hop to it, Hank.  If you want your percentage to pay off you need to do the work, you know.  Bad form for a professor, what kind of example are you?”

Everyone seemed in high spirits as we walked back to Hogwarts, and I noticed that for some reason Ruby Smythe-Warring was once again mad at Carrick Frye, as she was walking with Liv Wapping and Angela Flimpett while Carrick was towards the back of the group with Angus Wandsworth.  I wanted to know, but there was no way I was going to ask.  Yes, I was interested in the romance of those two, but I knew better than to try and get in the middle of that. 

George had also had special Muggle Studies bags waiting, as he had added some of the more incredibly banned items to their haul, free of charge.  I made a special effort not to notice, because if Filch asked me I would be able to honestly say I didn’t know anything about it.

Samantha Davids, one of my Hufflepuff students, moved up next to me as we were walking with a rather large smile on her face.  “Professor, I can’t wait to see what the party will be like next year.”

“Next year, what do you mean?”

“Well, if you can’t stop saying bad words, imagine what it’ll be like with every year having a full schedule, and…”

“Stop it, Samantha.  I’m going to be better next year.  Just you wait.”

 

-ooo-

 

I spent all of Sunday working on George’s birthday present, and it was very early on Monday morning when I went to bed; I knew that Monday would not be a lot of fun since I would be dead tired, but at least I had the promotional material in a condition that I could live with.  Well, I wasn’t entirely finished, but I was sick of editing and re-writing so I just called it good.  Hopefully George could live with it as well, as there wasn’t any time left to massage the language any further.

Classes went surprisingly well on Monday, as my students were still in a good mood from the Hogsmeade visit.  Well, everyone except Ruby and Carrick, and I was too tired to really figure out what had happened in Hogsmeade. 

I concentrated on drinking the strong coffee brought by Nonky and handing out the last big projects of the year to the students.  After all, the end of the year was approaching rapidly.  More importantly to my Hufflepuff students, though, was the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor Quidditch match.  They weren’t the only ones focused on the match, as I had owls from Ron, Harry and George; all telling me that there was no way that Hufflepuff would beat the Gryffindor side. 

 

-ooo-

 

It was the last Saturday in May when the day of the match arrived, and the weather had not complied with my wishes as the wind was blowing like crazy and a cold drizzle made everything damp and miserable.  I sat on the Hufflepuff side with Melody and my students, and was surprised when Hannah Abbot sat down beside us saying that she loves Neville but above all she was a Hufflepuff.  If Hufflepuff won, all that would have to happen was for Slytherin to beat Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would win the Quidditch Cup, according to Melody, surprising me.  How did she know the standings?  Then it dawned on me, all the letters back and forth with Lavinia.  We had just started to get comfortable in our seats when I saw somebody in the stands that did not belong, well, at least on the Hufflepuff side.

“George, what are you doing?  Lose a bet?”

“Actually, Hank, I came over to make one.  Care for a friendly little wager?”

I shook my head.  “Can’t do that.  Wouldn’t be proper to bet on my students.  I’m sure there’s a rule somewhere against that.”

Melody stood up and stuck out her hand.  “Well he can’t but I can.  What’s the terms?”

George shook Melody’s hand.  “Loser has to take the other couple out for a meal, and not to a little fish and chips trolley, either.  Someplace nice.”

“Done.  Now get back to your side before the match starts.  Unless you want to up the ante?”

I shook my head.  I had a feeling Mel was going to write a check that somehow or other I’d end up paying for.  “Um, honey, I think that’s good enough…”

She looked at me sharply.  “Hank, this is Quidditch.  Shush.  So George, are you brave enough?”

George placed his hand over his heart and acted shocked.  “You’re asking a Gryffindor if he’s brave enough?  Name it.”

“Loser has to wear the other team’s colors for a picture.  And hold a sign saying I Love Hufflepuff.”

“Or Gryffindor, when we win.  Done.”

As George left I looked over to Melody.  “Are you sure about this?”

“Definitely, Hank.  Oh look, here comes Lavinia and…is that her boyfriend?”

I nodded.  Soon Lavinia was next to us in her Weasley Hufflepuff Badger hat, along with William Smythe and Ruby Smythe-Warring.  After the introductions were made the kids sat a few rows down from us, and before Melody could comment the match began.  The match was hotly contested, and after a few of exclamations of “kecker” from Lavinia’s hat Hannah leaned forward and informed me that Neville had also requested some “help” from a certain retired Quidditch player, as she was, after all, a Gryffindor alumnus.

Well, there went my “advantage” so to speak, and to be honest this was the first Quidditch match I watched intently.  The rain picked up, but this time I had forgotten my umbrella, and I actually didn’t care.  As the match went on the score was fairly close, so the Snitch would decide things.  I pulled out my binoculars, and scanned the sky for Flora.  Sure enough, I found her hovering towards the end of the pitch, high above the action, when suddenly she shot up into the air and then rapidly down, weaving her way through the action until I thought she was going to run into one of the Hufflepuff goals, but instead she flew through one of the goals, circled up and over the top part of the ring and held her hand aloft triumphantly.  We won! 

As the crowd celebrated I looked down just in time to see Lavinia hug William and give him a kiss on the cheek, making his face turn red instantly.  I nudged Melody.

“You did have the talk with Lavinia, right?”

As we filed out of the stadium George and Angelina were waiting for us, and George looked as if someone had just told him that Christmas was cancelled.  Melody, on the other hand, who looked as if she’d just woken up on Christmas morning, almost bounded over to him. 

“So sorry for your loss, George.  Actually, I’m not at all.  You’ll look wonderful in Hufflepuff colors.”

“Are you really going to make me do that, Melody?  Isn’t there anything else I can do?”

Melody looked over to me and I held out my hands to say “your call.”  She looked over to George and nodded. 

“I think we could use another set of adults to chaperone the Muggle Club party on the 17th of June at Colony House.  You still have to wear a Hufflepuff tie, though.”

“Deal.” 

George and Melody shook hands, and I wondered if that was a good idea or not.  Yes, we’d have some additional help, but this was George Weasley we were talking about.  At least Angelina would be there.  A pregnant Angelina, and I hoped that would rein in George somewhat.

 

-ooo-

 

The two weeks leading up to the final Quidditch match of the year had everybody talking, especially in Hufflepuff, but I was determined to keep my students on-task.  It was no small feat, but I felt that I managed to do enough to keep them busy, especially as their final projects were rapidly approaching the due date. 

The only interruption came at breakfast the Wednesday before the Ravenclaw versus Slytherin match.  I was sitting in my usual spot between Cho and Neville, absentmindedly flipping through _The Daily Prophet_ when the owls arrived, and an owl seemed to find every single staff member except me.  I thought it was odd and kept reading until I was nudged by Cho.

“The invitations are quite lovely, Hank.”

“Thanks.  Wait, what?”

Cho handed me a card which seemed to faintly glow.  I put on my glasses and took a look.

_You are cordially invited to witness the marriage of Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble to Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd…_

“Holy shit.  I had no idea.”

I heard Neville laugh and looked over to see him shaking his head.  “Trying to budget next year’s swearing party, Hank?  And are you telling me you didn’t know?”

“No clue.  Mel said she’d take care of the invitations so I didn’t really pay any attention after that.”

Before I could say anything else Headmaster Titus got everyone’s attention, and everyone focused on him.  “Now that I have your interest, I have an announcement.  As I am sure you know, our own Professor Boyd will be getting married this August.  As the size of the wedding has grown, I was contacted by, um, the planning committee, and have agreed to their request.  Professor Boyd and his fiancée will be married here at Hogwarts.”

This caused a general murmur to go through the students, and eventually Titus quieted them.  “I am sure that you would all wish to see the upcoming nuptials, but space will be at a premium, and as the event will take place after the end of term unfortunately all students will not be able to attend.  I have been informed by Mr. George Weasley that for those wishing to see the event he will be able to assist in that request at the beginning of the next school year, whatever that means, so do not worry.  Special invitations and arrangements will be made for each house to send a small representation.  Please join me in giving Professor Boyd our well wishes.”

As I received a round of applause I looked over to Neville.  “I should have paid attention to the plans, right?”

Neville laughed and clapped me on the back.  “At least I can learn from your mistakes.”

As I sat there one thing popped back into my head; what did Flurbin say about George Weasley?  Oh no.  Melody was going to hex him.

 

-ooo-

 

Since I was finished with classes for the day I wrote Melody a letter, asking about the plans and especially about George’s promise to the students, and I was worried that I’d get a Howler at breakfast the next day, but instead she wrote back immediately.  Thankfully she wasn’t surprised at my lack of understanding about the wedding plans, telling me that she expected it and my job was to show up.  Apparently all of the Prefects would be attending, as well as my Muggle Club students.  In so many words, and without saying it in concrete language, she also indicated that the security for the students was paramount, so additional attention had been paid to making sure they would all be ok.  As for George’s “assistance” Melody had reluctantly agreed after the Auror department contacted her, as they thought George’s invention might help them out. 

Well that would definitely make things interesting.  I’m not sure why, but my first thought was whether or not Ruby and Carrick would be speaking to each other by then, and then I began to think about the students in Muggle Club and realized that Poesy Phillips would be at my wedding.  Hopefully the restrictions on magic for underage witches and wizards would still apply, even though they would technically still be at school.

I’d settled into my big green chair by the fireplace when another owl arrived at my window, rather impatient to be let in.  I opened the window, and after retrieving the letter from the owl and coming away with only a few minor scratches I opened the letter, figuring it to be some more wedding planning.  I was wrong.

_Hank,_

_Can you meet me at your fireplace at midnight?_

_Harry_

Not good.  I looked at my watch, and once again the face was cloudy.  I had three hours to wait and worry.  Waiting patiently was not one of my skills, so I decided to go walk through the school, as I thought it might take my mind off the wedding and the potential security issues that I knew Harry would discuss.  As I left my room I realized that I’d forgotten how dark the castle was when it was night, and since I wasn’t doing my official rounds I’d forgotten my flashlight.  I envied all of the other staff who could just take out their wands and say _lumos_ and go from there, but I quickly banished that thought.  Dwelling on my lack of magical abilities would lead to worrying about Melody and the wedding and potential babies who might inherit my lack of skills…and trying to not think about those things of course made me think about them even more. 

 

-ooo-

 

I had made my way down to one of the lower levels of the castle when I saw something moving slightly on one of the benches, and I took out my wand quickly.  “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Hank.  It’s Cho.”

I put my wand away and walked over to her.  “What are you doing?  It’s not your night for rounds, is it?”

“No.” 

Her voice was very quiet, even quieter than usual.  I sat down on the bench.  “Why are you out here?  Is everything ok?”

“Not really.  Remember the Muggle I told you about, the one I was dating?  I just got a letter from him.  He’s going back to his ex-girlfriend.  She came to him and told him she wanted to try again, and he agreed.  He said that the distance between us was just too hard to manage and…”

She couldn’t continue, so I just put my arm around her.  “I’m sorry, Cho.  I’m sorry.”

We sat there for a few minutes, and she pulled a handkerchief out of her robe and dabbed at her eyes.  “It makes things easy for your wedding.  I didn’t know how I was going to manage bringing him here.  He doesn’t…didn’t know I’m a witch.”

“Don’t worry about that.  I’m sure it’s for the best.”

“Hank, I have horrible luck with men, I really do.  Even at Hogwarts.  Cedric…”

“Shhh…you don’t need to say anything.  Look at me.  I mean, I was as low as could be when I came here, and look how my life’s changed.  I’m not saying it’s easy, because it’s not.  You’re going to have some really crappy days, but eventually the number of good days will outnumber the crappy days.  It’ll take time.  If I’ve learned anything it’s that life will really throw you for a loop sometimes, but things usually work out in the end.  It’s like John Lennon said, life’s what happens while you’re busy making plans.”

“John Lennon?  Who’s he?”

“A Beatle.”

“You have talking insects in the Muggle world?”

 _Talking insects?  Oh._ I laughed slightly.  “No, he was in a band called The Beatles.  Don’t worry about that.  I know it hurts right now, but I think things will work out in the end.  They always seem to.”

 


	18. The Muggle Club Party

**Chapter 18:  The Muggle Club Party**

 

After making sure Cho made it back to her room ok, I took off for my room, as my watch indicated that I needed to hustle if I was going to make my midnight appointment with Harry.  In a complete breach of professorial etiquette I actually ran through the hallways, making a lot more noise than I wanted, and thankfully no Prefects or other professors caught me.  I made it into my room with three minutes to spare, and even though I needed a shower after running that far I didn’t have time, so I simply kicked off my shoes and sat in front of the fireplace in my jeans and a t-shirt.

Right on time Harry’s head shot up in the fireplace, and even though I’d seen it multiple times it still freaked me out. 

“Hank, I don’t have a lot of time, so this has to be brief.  We’ve confirmed that the WLF was responsible for the death of Bud Mortonsby, the man found in the bin outside the Ministry, but it’s worse than that.  We have evidence that the WLF is planning on kidnapping someone right before your wedding.  We don’t know who yet, but it has the full attention of the Auror department.”

“Dammit, Harry, I know the wizards can take care of themselves, but what about my family?”

“We’ve taken care of that.  Lavender has been in the UMS for about a week now, and everyone is staying at your sister’s house.  We’ve added on to the house, like the tent at Grimmauld on New Year’s to accommodate the crowd.  The AAB is also on high alert.”

“So everybody’s at Jennifer’s?  She’s going to be furious.”

“We’re doing everything we can to make sure everyone is safe and comfortable.  And Hank, we’re going to add a few more people to your Muggle Club party, for protection.  Just to be sure.”

 _Shit._   I leaned back on the chair in front of the fireplace and shoved my glasses to the top of my head.  “What about at the wedding, what about the kids?  Where’s Albus going to be?”

A small smile formed on Harry’s lips.  “See, I told you I made the right decision about Albus’ godfather.  He and the other little ones are going to be with Andromeda and some other Aurors.  Hank, we’re double and triple checking everything.  Ron’s been working on your wedding for the last month.  We’ll have it covered.  I just wanted you to know.  Ok, I have to go; Albus will be up in an hour or so.  I’ll keep in touch and let you know if anything happens.”

As the flames died down and Harry’s head disappeared I rubbed my eyes; I thought that having the wedding at Hogwarts was supposed to make things easier.  I definitely knew that I’d have to do something nice for Jennifer, as she was a good hostess for a day or two and then everybody got on her nerves.

I tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t, as images of what happened at my brother’s wedding kept flashing through my brain, and eventually I gave up.  I went over to my desk, pulled out my notes for the big Weasley book I had promised George and started writing.

 

-ooo-

 

I was still working furiously on George’s book when Nonky brought my morning tea, and I realized that the day was certainly not going to go well.  I don’t function well on minimal sleep, and staying up all night definitely wasn’t going to make things easier.  I drank my tea and looked over my work, satisfied that I’d made decent enough progress, but most importantly I’d kept my mind off of all of the things that Harry had said.  I felt as if I was sleepwalking when I got dressed and went down to breakfast, and somehow I wasn’t surprised when Cho wasn’t at her usual spot.  I sat down next to Neville and mumbled my hello, then opened _The Prophet._   I’d just scanned the first few pages when I felt Neville tap my arm.

“Are you ok, Hank?  You look horrible.”

“Gee, thanks.  Couldn’t sleep last night so I worked on a writing project.  I’m just glad that today’s going to be a light day in the classroom, they’re still working on finishing up their papers that are due Monday.”

“You’d better keep George’s notebook out today.  You’re an easy target.”Cho never showed up for breakfast, but I figured it would be best to leave her alone, so I made my way to my classroom.  The fifth years were already in their seats, something of a shock, as they usually straggled in right up to the very last moment.  I sat down wearily at my desk, as the rather full breakfast was making me sleepy.  After sorting through some parchment on my desktop I looked up at my class, surprised to see Ruby and Carrick sitting together again, but besides that it was just the usual.  I did notice Franny looking out the window, and I followed her gaze to see that the sky, as opposed to yesterday, was brilliantly clear.  It was a beautiful day, and maybe they didn’t deserve it, but I definitely did.

I stood up.  “Ok, let’s get started.  I know your final reports are due Monday, so I think we should all work on tightening things up.”  A low groan went up from the class, and I watched Sawgrass put his head in his hands.  “So that’s why I think some peer review sessions would help your papers.  On your own time I want you to trade papers with one of your classmates.  You will review their paper and they will review yours.  As this is a large project, it will take some time.  Be sure to have your reviews completed and a review sheet completed by Monday.  The review sheet will contain your comments on your partner’s…yes, Mr. Sawgrass?”

Peter quickly put down his hand.  “Professor, does that mean we don’t have class today or tomorrow?”

“Wherever and whenever you choose to do your review session is up to you and your partner.”

That brought out the expected result, as they immediately began talking and gathering their things.  “I expect quality since you’re getting extra review time, make sure of it!  Parchment is due Monday morning, first thing!”

As they left my classroom Peter stopped by my desk.  “Ten points to Muggle Studies from Slytherin.”

“Get out of here, Sawgrass, before I change my mind.”

 

-ooo-

 

I repeated the same review process for the other classes which produced an almost identical result, except for a small amount of complaining from Angus Wandsworth that I didn’t do the same thing when Hufflepuff played Gryffindor.  I reminded him that they won anyway and to hurry out the door or I’d find something else for him to do.  He’d almost left when he stopped, acted like he was contemplating something, and then turned back to me.

“Professor, I think Lavinia’s doing better, don’t you?”

That took me aback, as I certainly wasn’t expecting that.  I walked over and sat down on the table closest to the door.  “I do, Angus.  I should have done it earlier, but I wanted to thank you for how you helped take care of her when she got back to school after her parents’ funeral.  I really appreciate it.  I know it had to help her.”

He nodded.  “Sure.  I knew it had to be hard for her.  I might have jinxed a Slytherin git who was teasing her about you once, but between us that never happened.  She seems like, well, I didn’t really know her before, but she seems to be doing ok.  Now she’s got Willy, and…”

“Willy?”

“Willy Smythe, Ruby’s cousin.  Wait, she hasn’t told you?  Oh no…”

I waved him off.  “I kind of figured it out, but no, she hasn’t told me anything.  She will when she’s comfortable with it, I’m fine with that.  You did a really good thing, Angus.  Ok, now get out of my classroom and go enjoy your time off.”

After Angus left I realized I knew exactly who I would be suggesting for Head Boy next year.

For the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon I was asleep.  Not the best educational move in the book, and something that I hoped to not repeat, but I figured I had extenuating circumstances.  Being a terrorist target and having your family being targeted ranked a bit higher in my mind than class time.  Besides, it wasn’t like I was just giving my students two days off, they had to work and I expected to see results.  I would definitely be grading them on the peer review notes, so that would figure into their grades.  If anybody asked I figured I would call it an exercise in Self-Directed Peer Review or something like that.  After all, I’d been in academia long enough that I could spin it in some way to make it sound educational.

 

-ooo-

 

On Friday morning I received an owl from Melody, and she had forwarded two letters that arrived at Colony House.  As I expected, one was from my sister, and Jen wasn’t too happy with the full house, and she’d informed me that I was definitely going to make it up to her, but she did like having Lavender around.  Now that surprised me, but then I continued reading and found out that one of the main reasons she liked Lavender was that instead of having to clean everything the Muggle way Lavender used her wand and made things go incredibly fast.  She also liked having a lot of extra room without having to hire a contractor and spend a lot of money.  I figured the allure of the Wizarding world was starting to rub off a bit on my sister, and hopefully her irritation at having a houseful would abate by the time she arrived for the wedding.  The other letter was from Mom, who did the usual preliminaries about asking how I was doing, how Melody was doing, etc. etc. but then got to the meat of her letter; she was still worried about me, even though Lavender and the AAB agents had done their best to reassure her that everything was covered.  After those worries she hit me with the wedding stuff, as she wasn’t sure about her dress that Melody had sent over and the color of my Dad’s tie, and more than that she was worried about meeting Lane Bramble. 

I sat the letter down on my desk.  The dress that Melody had sent over?  Meeting Lane?  I knew that Mel and the Big Guns had done a lot of work on the wedding, but Mom’s letter had sent me into a rather sizable panic.  I really had no idea except the vaguest generalities of what was going on for the wedding.  Maybe George and Angelina had the right idea after all.

 

-ooo-

 

I actually thought about not going to the Slytherin and Ravenclaw Quidditch match, but I did end up going and sat in the “we’re not cheering for either team thank you very much” section of seats.  Not surprisingly a large number of my students were sitting in the Ravenclaw section, owing to the fact that if Ravenclaw won Hufflepuff would win the Quidditch cup.  Unfortunately the House Cup was going to go to Ravenclaw for a second year in a row, regardless of the outcome. 

The match went pretty much as Angus told me it would, unfortunately, as Slytherin quickly built up a small lead and then played a defensive match.  As time went by it was increasingly obvious that Slytherin was counting on the Snitch to win the match rather than their offense, and after about a half hour it was over.  Slytherin’s Seeker caught the Snitch and Hufflepuff’s dreams of the Quidditch Cup were gone.  I found Angus in the crowd leaving the stadium and told him that regardless of that match’s outcome I was proud of him, as Hufflepuff had managed second in the Quidditch Cup standings.  He wasn’t as happy as I was, and he promised that Hufflepuff would take the cup in his final year. 

As I made my way back to the castle I noticed Cho talking with a small Ravenclaw girl, so I made my way towards her.  When I got close the girl noticed me and left the two of us.  After the usual greetings, we walked in silence for a bit, and I didn’t say anything as I figured when she was ready to talk she would.

“Professor Boyd?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for listening to me last night.  I usually don’t…”

“It’s ok, Professor Chang.  I really understand.  I’ve been there.”

We walked for a little while and then arrived at the courtyard in front of the main doors.  As she turned to go to her room she stopped and looked back.  “Just so you know, I am still planning on attending your wedding.  Would be a shame to waste a perfectly good new dress.”

“Sounds good.  I’m glad you’ll be there.”

 

-ooo-

 

I was very pleased on Monday when I received all of the Muggle Studies projects, as well as the peer review documentation from the students.  Some of it was skimpy in parts, as they obviously didn’t like being critical of their classmates, but overall they provided good reviews and constructive criticism.  Tuesday through Thursday was filled with the beginnings of the reviews for the final, but Friday?  Friday was completely useless, as everyone was ready for the Muggle Club party.  I gave up my plans for the day, yet again, and went over the rules and talked about what was going to happen.  Students couldn’t wear their school uniforms, wands were not allowed and above all no magic was allowed at the party.  Since this was an educational event as well as a party the students were going to arrive fairly early, as I was going to show them how Muggles cook. 

To be honest, I was looking forward to it as much as they were.  Even though I was comfortable at Hogwarts and in the Wizarding world, it would be nice to listen to my music and cook.  More importantly, George was supposed to have replaced my television with a new one, and he would have it installed on Friday night, so when I got there on Saturday morning everything would be ready to go.  Hopefully he hadn’t screwed it up somehow.

Flurbin, who was blowing my mind with his understanding and flexibility, astonished me by allowing me to go home Friday night and take Lavinia.  When I looked surprised that he would let her leave Hogwarts, he just laughed at me and reminded me that any parent could do the same by requesting it from the Headmaster.  He let that sink in for a moment, and then I realized when he said “parent” he was actually talking about me.  It was in that semi-daze that I had one of the students bring Lavinia to my room and I surprised her with the news.  Obviously she was happy, and after changing clothes and meeting down in the courtyard I could tell that she was raring to go.

As we walked towards Colony House and chatted about the preparations for the party she suddenly grew somewhat silent, which worried me.  I waited for a bit, and then she told me what I’d already guessed and what Angus had confirmed.

“Professor Muggle, I need to tell you something.”

“Sure, Lavinia, what is it?”

“Um, you remember Willy Smythe, don’t you?”

“Yes, I remember.  I don’t have him in any of my classes this year.”

“No, he’s…he’s really not interested in Muggle Studies, but I think he might next year.”

“That’s ok, not everybody is interested.  No wand waving in my classroom.  DADA is probably much more exciting.”

She nodded.  “That’s his favorite class.  Well, um, he’s my boyfriend.”

She looked at me and then hurriedly glanced down at her shoes.  “That’s great, Lavinia.  He seems very nice.”

“Do you think after you and Melody get back from your honeymoon we could have him come over?  Ruby too?”

I wanted to laugh, but I kept it to myself.  “Sure, why not?  Maybe I can get him to join Muggle Club.”

“Mmm…I don’t know.  But thanks!”

 

-ooo-

 

As we walked in the front door the first thing I saw was the very large box partially blocking entry into the living room.  “Mel!  What’s…”

George Weasley’s single-eared head popped up from behind the box.  “Glad you’re here, Hank.  Having a bit of a problem with the connections.  You’d think I’d know how this works, since I…”

“Blew up my old one.  I’ll do it, just move this box.”  I took a few steps.  “Did you read the instructions?”

“Of course not.”

As we finally managed to get all of the way into the house I realized that George had not only replaced my old TV, he’d bought me a larger and nicer version than my old one.  Lavinia went off to find Melody and George and I set to hooking up everything.  As we finished up and had a successful test, I moved everything out of the way and sat down with George on the sofa, changing the channel until I found coverage of the World Cup.

“I wish I could get WeasleyVision to do that.  I mean, think of the money in Quidditch!”

“Eventually, George.  Baby steps.  Trust me, if you can do movie length versions of WeasleyVision, you’ll be off to a great start.  Think of it, you can use the profits from that to fund your Quidditch research.”

“Working hard, as usual.”  Angelina walked into the room, followed by Melody and Lavinia. 

“Always, Angelina, my dear.  Always.  Besides, this is research.”  George smiled at her and then turned and winked at me.

After we finished a quick supper of Mexican food George and Angelina excused themselves, and I reminded George at the door about the no magic restrictions on Saturday, and he agreed a little too quickly for my tastes, but I let it go.  After making sure that Lavinia was settled, Melody and I finally collapsed in bed.

“Do you realize this is the first time since Easter we’ve actually been together?”  Melody looked at me, and then welcomed Churchill as he jumped up on the bed.  “No hogging the bed.”

“Yeah, I realize that.  Trust me; I’ve been counting days when I haven’t been stressing about everything else, like the party tomorrow.  I think I’m going to relax the no magic rule for one thing tomorrow.”

“What’s that?”

“Cleaning up.”  I turned off the light and fell back into my pillow.  “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.  Hopefully everything will go ok.”

“It’ll be fine, Hank.  Just look at it as a preview.”

 _Huh?  What did she mean?_   “What are you telling me?  We’re going to have forty kids?”

She laughed and snuggled in close.  “No, silly.  But eventually there will be kids.  But not forty, oh no.  Not forty.”

 

-ooo-

 

Even though I knew that the students would start showing up around ten in the morning, I couldn’t help myself and slept late.  Melody blamed my magic ban, as she said her enchanted alarm clock would have woken me up for sure, but I must have hit the snooze button.  Or, most likely, I thought I hit the snooze button and actually turned the alarm off, which meant that I woke up at nine.  After throwing on a t-shirt and an old pair of gym shorts I half stumbled into the kitchen for a cup of tea, but instead of Melody and Lavinia I saw Ruby, Carrick and Willy Smythe sitting at the table with Lavinia.  So much for the impressive professor entrance. 

Ruby looked up, surprised.  “Oh, good morning Professor Muggle!  I hope you don’t mind, but we thought we’d come early and help Lavinia get things ready.  Um, and I brought Willy, too.”

“That’s, that’s fine, Ruby.  I’m going to start the kettle, if you don’t mind making tea I’m going to go take a shower.”  Without saying anything else I went over and filled the kettle, lit the stove and set the kettle on the burner.  “Ok, Lavinia can show you were everything is, I’ll be back in a few minutes.  Um, Lavinia, where’s Melody?”

“She’s out back.  Want me to get her?”

“No, that’s fine.  I won’t be long.”

As I stood under the hot water of the shower I shook my head.  Maybe the party wasn’t such a great idea after all.  Then again, if Melody and I were Lavinia’s guardians, I figured that things like waking up to find extra kids in the house wasn’t going to be an unusual occurrence. 

After one of the quickest showers of my life I threw on some jeans, an ancient sweatshirt and my old indoor soccer shoes and went searching for my tea.  Happily a cup was ready for me as I entered the kitchen; I took it and thanked the girl who gave it to me and then went and sat in one of the big chairs in the living room by the front window.  After a couple of sips of tea, when I started feeling more human I stopped and looked back into the kitchen and realized it was Poesy Phillips who handed me my tea. 

“Poesy?  When’d you get here?”

“A few minutes ago, Professor.  I think you should expect everybody else in the next half hour, so you’d better drink your cuppa.  We all know how grumpy you are without it.”

I looked around the kitchen, towards several students who simply nodded.  “Am I really that grumpy before I have my tea?”

Melody walked in, said that I was a complete grump before tea, and then walked out towards the back yard again, causing all of the students to laugh. 

Poesy smiled at me.  “She’s right, you know.  If we did something to your first cup of tea last year, you were awful.  It went better when we charmed your second cup.”

George and Angelina arrived, George in a Hufflepuff tie, and then shortly after that Hannah and Neville showed up, so at least we had the appropriate level of adult supervision when the rest of the students made their way to Colony House.  I was happy to find out that all of them had paid attention to the rules and there were no wands that had to be confiscated.  For those who were interested I gave them a demonstration of Muggle cooking, as I set to making pizzas.  They were really surprised about all of the manual work required, especially the pizza crusts, and although the first one didn’t turn out as I hoped the other pizza crusts came out quite well when I did the “spinning the crust in the air” thing.  I didn’t guess that working at the pizza joint during college would ever pay off so well, but every now and then I realized that job wasn’t as bad as I thought at the time.

It was while I was spinning the last crust that I heard someone comment about my crazy Muggle cooking techniques, and I turned my attention away for a second to see Ron Weasley standing in my doorway with Harry Potter.  Of course I almost lost that crust, and only managed to catch it right before it hit the floor.

“Ron, Harry…what’re you guys doing here?”

Ron shook his head.  “What, we can’t come over and watch you muck up lunch?”

Harry shook his head.  “We thought we’d come over and help out, make sure things go ok.” 

Harry looked at me, and even though his tone was light I could tell by looking at him that he was trying to say more.  I got it; all of my Muggle Studies students in one place, in a Muggle house…it was an obvious target for the WLF.  Well, if Harry, Ron, George, Angelina, Neville and Hannah were here, as well as Melody, I felt secure.  The Auror help that Harry had commented on during the Floo conversation had materialized.

“Great.  Why don’t you guys go out back and start the grill?  Matches and lighter fluid are already out there.”  I watched Ron’s face fall.  “And no magic, this is a Muggle party, right?”

“Sure, Hank.”  Harry laughed as he and Ron headed out the door, and some whispers trailed in their wake from the students, amazed that Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were at the party.

 

-ooo-

 

After serving a multitude of pizzas, cheeseburgers, hot dogs and sausages the party seemed to break off into little groups, as several kids were watching, per Lavinia’s suggestion, Ferris Beuller skipping school with Cameron and Sloan.  A group of boys were getting their butts whipped by a little Gryffindor girl at bocce outside, and a large group sat in the kitchen laughing their heads off with Melody.  When I stopped by there I was very surprised, as they were looking at pictures, which didn’t seem too exciting.  Then I looked at the pictures and I also saw my high school yearbooks.

“What the hell?  Melody, why did you get those out?”  I looked down and saw a picture of me from the mid-eighties, from one of the school dances.  I was in my full eighties getup, complete with massive hair.

“They asked me what your Muggle school was like, and since I really didn’t know I figured we could all find out.  Henry, your hair…and those clothes!”

“It was the style.”  I could feel myself getting warm, and I knew what was happening but I couldn’t stop it.

Hannah snickered and looked at me from one of the kitchen chairs.  “Hank, are you blushing?”

“No.  I’m not.  I’m going to find George.”

As I walked into my office I found George and Ron sitting on chairs, plastic guitars strapped on and doing horribly at my guitar videogame.  I’d hooked up my gaming system to the smaller, surprise television that George brought over and had hooked it up, and showed him quickly how it worked.  It was really funny to see the Weasley brothers struggling to make their way through classic rock hits of the seventies, and Neville obviously agreed with me as he laughed at them.  He made his way over to me and leaned in.

“They’re complete rubbish at this.  You should show them how it’s done.”

“Maybe later, Nev.  So how do you think it’s going so far?  Think this is worth the trouble?  I don’t know if they’re really learning anything about the Muggle world.”

“I think it is worthwhile, Hank.  You’ve got kids from all of the houses getting along wonderfully, not to mention all of the different ages of the students.  Did you see the game with the balls outside?”

“Bocce?  Yeah.  Trust me, that game’s a great equalizer.  Worst I ever got my butt kicked was from an old guy who’d had about ten beers.  We used to play at family events, but we don’t play with my Mom anymore, because she always wins.  Tell the winner between the Weasleys that I’ll play them later on; I think I’m going to walk around and see how things are going.”

I grabbed a soda out of one of the coolers that were located around the house and headed outside.  Everyone seemed very relaxed, and it reminded me of parties when I was a teenager, as the biggest event seemed to be “hanging out.”  Harry nodded at me, and I headed over towards one of the chairs that sat out in the garden.  After plopping myself down I looked over at Harry.

“Thanks for coming by.  I take it all of the usual precautions are in place?”

He nodded and smiled slightly.  “Yes, everything’s taken care of.  I didn’t put on the Muggle repelling charm because you’d miss the post, but other than that, everything’s in place.”  Harry glanced over his shoulder briefly, and then shook his head.  “You might want to go check on your car.  I think it might be occupied.”

“Crap, I didn’t even think about that.  Thanks.”

As I walked over to my car I could see that, yes, there were people in the car but it seemed as if they were very, very close.  What…oh shit.  Teenagers, cars, privacy…I hurried over to the car and sure enough two teenagers were snogging, as they call it.  I felt like a cop when I knocked on the window, causing them to startle and move into the driver and passenger seats.  I made the “roll down the window” motion, but the boy and girl looked at each other and I could tell that they didn’t have a clue.  I opened the door and motioned for them to get out.

Poesy Phillips turned a shade of red that reminded me of myself when I get embarrassed, and I chuckled almost inaudibly.  “I see some things are universal.  Wizard, witch, Muggle, it doesn’t matter.  Ok, my car’s off-limits unless I’m driving.”  I took a look at the boy, and didn’t recognize him.  “Um, Poesy?  Who’s your friend?”

The boy stood close to Poesy and put his arm around her shoulder.  “I’m sorry, Professor Muggle.  Poesy told me about your party, and I know I’m not in Muggle Club but it sounded great, and…um, I’m Sam Stamper.”

“He’s in Ravenclaw, a year above me.”  Poesy seemed to be slightly more composed and then began grinning.  “I snuck him in here with a TIC.”

I didn’t know what she meant for a moment, and then it came to me; a temporary invisibility cloak.  “Obviously one of the benefits of working for George.  Ok, no more magic.  Sam, you’re welcome to stay, but both of you stay out of my car, understood?”

 

-ooo-

 

As the afternoon turned into early evening I was somehow convinced to turn the garden into a dance area of sorts, as someone had come up with the idea of playing Muggle music and having a dance.  This was enthusiastically received by almost all of the girls, and a couple of boys, mostly the ones with girlfriends, and I agreed to the request.  For a half hour or so I moved things out into the garden, snaked extension cords out the window and setup an improvised DJ station.  George had wanted to put up enchanted lanterns, but I reminded him of the Muggle restrictions, so he grumbled as he managed to put up a few camping lanterns and lamps from the house for makeshift lighting configuration. 

 

After the evening had grown later, I set up a playlist on my iPod and let it go for a while and walked around.  I found Melody talking to several of the kids about Quidditch, so I sat down next to Harry and Ron.  We’d been chatting about things when George walked over and laughed.

“What’s so funny, George?”

“Well, you wouldn’t know about it, Hank, but it looks like history is repeating.  Just like the Yule Ball, these two are sitting on the sidelines while everybody’s dancing.”  He pointed towards Harry and Ron.  “Some things never change.”

“Hey, I’m married to Hermione now, George.  And Harry’s got Ginny.  Stuff it.”  Ron made a rude gesture at George, which was not missed by two of the students who began laughing.

Harry nudged me.  “George is right about some things.  Check out Neville.”

I followed Harry’s lead and sure enough, Neville was out dancing with Hannah, and to be honest he was a very decent dancer.  Well, if Neville could do it, why not me?  I got up, walked over to Melody and took her hand.  Without saying anything I pulled her out to where everyone was dancing.  Luckily for me it was a slow song so I could fake it easier; I actually know how to dance, but I was planning on teasing Melody a bit.

As we were dancing Melody leaned up and motioned for me to lean down by jerking her head slightly to the side.  She began whispering in my ear, but I couldn’t hear because we were right next to a speaker so I danced her towards the far side of the dance area.

“I said, Hank, that you need to practice some more before our wedding.  You’ve stepped on my feet a couple of times.”

“Sorry, love.  We’ll have all of July to practice.  I think I can get better.  You will have on sturdy shoes, right?”

“Don’t look now, but over there by the house…I said not now, Hank!  Do it slowly, don’t be obvious about it, but Lavinia’s dancing too.”

I moved Melody slowly so I could get a view, and sure enough there was Lavinia dancing with Willy Smythe.  Well, sort of, as they were dancing like each other might contain a small bomb or be contagious, as they were far apart, but they were enjoying it from the looks on their faces.  I had a flashback to a middle school dance, and then I looked down at Melody.  I realized right there that I was a completely lucky sonofabitch, regardless of what happened next.

 

-ooo-

 

As it was getting late I decided to end the party, as it had gone on about an hour or so later than I had initially planned.  Lavinia asked if we minded if she went back up to the school with her friends, and Melody said it was ok.  Harry, Neville, Ron and all of the other magical adults volunteered to walk the students back, and after we’d said goodbye to everybody I shut the door and put my back against it.  Melody sat on the living room floor, her back against the sofa.

“You did it, Hank.”

“No, we did it.  There’s no way I could have done it without your help.  Think you can get used to that?  I mean, I did it this year for Muggle Club so it’s probably going to be a yearly thing now.”

“Yeah.  We’ll do some different things next time, figure out what works best.  I think we could…”

“Enough for tonight, Mel.  I’m tired, and look at this place.  It looks like a bomb went off in here.”  I glanced around the room to see soda cans, a completely messy kitchen, things out of place and some of my books stacked in the corner.  “Everything’s completely disorganized.”

Mel looked at me and for some reason a smirk crept onto her face.  She pulled her hair back and tied it up quickly, then took off her glasses and patted the floor next to her.  I walked over and sat down on the sofa, then slid onto the floor next to her.  “Ok, I know that face.  What’s up?”

“I want to try an experiment.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Hush, Henry, not like that.  I’ve been thinking about Nonky.”

“What about Nonky?”

“It’s unusual that he always comes and visits you, isn’t it?  It’s never another house elf, always Nonky.  Hank, I want you to call him.”

“What?”

“Yes, and stop looking at me as if I’m a nutter.  Try calling Nonky, Hank.”

“Ok.”  I looked up at the ceiling for no apparent reason.  “Nonky, can you stop over for a minute if it isn’t too much trouble.”  I looked over at Mel.  “See, there’s no…”

The familiar crack surprised us, and there, in my kitchen, stood Nonky.  “Yes, Professor Muggle?  You need Nonky?”

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen.  “How did you…I’m not at Hogwarts…I mean, um, I don’t get it.”

“Nonky was called so Nonky came.  Do you want Nonky to clean the kitchen?  Very messy.”

I looked over to Melody, who by this time was sitting on the couch with her chin resting on her arms that were crossed on the back of the couch.  She smiled at me, and then looked to Nonky.  “Nonky, who do you work for?”

“Nonky works for Professor Muggle.”

 _What?_   “Nonky, I’m not at Hogwarts.  Why are you working for me?  I thought you worked for Hogwarts.”

Nonky shook his big-eared head.  “Nonky used to until Nonky got a special job.  Nonky works for Professor Muggle _and_ Hogwarts.”

“And who gave you the special job, Nonky?”  Melody looked at the house elf and then up to me, and I took it from her expression that she thought knew the answer. 

Nonky started rubbing his hands together nervously, then stopped and looked directly at me.  “Headmistress McGonagall gave Nonky the job.  Nonky works at Hogwarts and takes care of Professor Muggle.  Headmistress said if Professor Muggle stays in the Wizarding world Nonky can work where he wants to.  This is the first time Professor Muggle called Nonky outside of Hogwarts, so Nonky came.  Can Nonky clean the kitchen now, please?”

“Sure, Nonky.  Knock yourself out.”

This was obviously the wrong thing to say, as the house elf took off in a dead sprint towards the refrigerator, hit it at full speed and fell back on the kitchen floor out cold.

“Hank!  You have to be careful!  House elves can…he took you literally.”  Mel hurried over and picked up the little elf and placed him on the sofa. 

I sat next to her on the end of the sofa.  “Mel, does that mean…what he said about Minerva McGonagall…”

“I think so.  I think you have a house elf, Hank.”

I had been feeling tired, but the conversation with Nonky had turned me wide awake.  Minerva McGonagall…she had done so many things for me that I only found out later, after she’d gone.  After Nonky woke up we told him that I say some things that he really shouldn’t take literally, and that he shouldn’t knock himself out anymore.  We did get it out of him eventually that Minerva had given him the job of taking care of me during my first year at Hogwarts, and had given him the choice of working just as a regular house elf or being my house elf after that first year, and Nonky had chosen to work for me.  After more questioning, not an interrogation but as a conversation, we also realized that if we asked him to Nonky would stay with us when Hogwarts wasn’t in session, but he wanted to go back during the school year.

Nonky, as soon as he could, cleaned the house until it was better than it was before the party.  He bid us goodnight and apparated out, leaving us alone and still somewhat in shock.

“Holy shit, Mel.  We have a house elf.  Shit!”

“Hank!  Language!  I know; I can’t believe it either.  Nonky’s nice, too.  A little too enthusiastic sometimes, but still very nice. 

“Mel, I’ve had over forty kids in the house today.  I got surprised when I woke up and they were here, you decided to show them all embarrassing pictures of me, you told me I’m a bad dancer or at least out of practice and I caught Poesy Phillips and her boyfriend snogging in my car.  Now I just found out that Minerva McGonagall has pretty much given me a house elf to employ, so I think I’m entitled to say a few bad words in my own house.  I might as well light up a pipe, I mean, what else can happen this evening?”

“Morning.  This morning.  You do realize it’s one in the morning?  You have to be back at school tomorrow.”

“Tell that to the owl, Mel.”  I pointed towards the window.  “Do you want to let him in?”

“How do you know it’s a male?  It could be female.”  She let in the owl, took the letter and before she could give a treat the owl flew away.  “It’s for you.  Who’s sending you an owl at this time of the night?”

“Morning.”  I took the letter and opened it, and I felt very happy but didn’t know how it would be received.

“Out with it!  What is it?”

I looked at her and rubbed my bald spot.  “Draco and Astoria had a boy about a half hour ago.  They kept their promise, his name is Scorpius.


	19. How to Sneak Out of Hogwarts

**Chapter 19:  How to Sneak Out of Hogwarts**

 

The next week of classes seemed to fly by for me, but the students didn’t share my view, as they were all frazzled from preparing for finals.  It seemed odd to me that next Monday would be the last Monday of the school year, and even though the past year had been a complete rollercoaster of emotions and events I was somewhat sad that the term was ending.  Without Flurbin as Headmaster, well, next year was just going to be even better.  I sat at my desk in my classroom on Friday morning and watched as my students seemed to like the free-form, all topic study session.  They were discussing things that I knew would be on the final, as well as things that weren’t on the final, but I made sure not to let on when they tried to get hints.  The funny thing was that Peter Sawgrass, never my most studious pupil, was surrounded by books and had shut everyone out by putting on his WUMP.  I had a flashback of college, sitting in the library while chaos seemed to erupt all around me as I shut everything out by listening to my Walkman and tried to cram in as much as possible at the last minute.

Seeing Sawgrass studying also reminded me of another Slytherin, Draco Malfoy.  Melody and I had another one of our “agree to disagree” moments when I asked her to buy a baby gift for the Malfoys, as she couldn’t believe that I was asking her to do that.  Eventually she did go ahead and buy the present, and we sent over a copy of Winnie the Pooh to little Scorpius.  Hey, every kid should read that book, or have it read to them. 

“Professor Muggle?”

I came out of my reverie to see Samantha Davids at my desk.  “Yes, Miss Davids?  What can I do for you?”

“Um, I know we’re not supposed to ask you this, but…”

“Then you probably shouldn’t, but it’s Friday and I’m ready for the weekend as much as you are, so go ahead, what is it?”

She flipped open a small notebook and found the page she was looking for.  “Um, will there be anything on the final about Joe Strummer?  You talked about him a lot this year.”

“I did?  Well, I didn’t mean to really, and I shouldn’t do this, but no.  There will be nothing on the final about Joe Strummer or The Clash.  Maybe I should do a unit on Muggle Music.  I could do…”

“Uh, that’s all I wanted to know.  Thanks, Professor.”

I watched her go back to a group of students and shake her head, and their faces eased slightly.  I took a look at my watch, and it was almost time for class to be over, so I figured I’d go over it one more time.  “If I can have your attention for a moment, please?”  After they all looked over I stood up to address them, but I noticed that Sawgrass was still in his own world.  “Someone smack Sawgrass and get his attention.”

That was obviously the wrong thing to say, as Liv Wapping smiled and went over to Peter and literally smacked him on the back of his head, causing him to look up quickly to Liv and then over to me.  He rubbed the back of his head as he took off his headphones.

“Liv!  Good grief.  Anyway, now that I have everyone’s attention, I probably don’t need to remind you, but your final will be on Tuesday.  We’ve gone over the format of the final, and while I know it isn’t everybody’s favorite it will be fair this year as not all of the classes have had the same amount of class time that y’all have had.  Besides, you were at my house last weekend, so everybody knows where the light switches are and things like that.  If you’ve been paying attention in class and taking notes you should be fine.”  I looked at my watch.  “Ok, have a good weekend and I will see you on Tuesday.  Promptly!  It’s a long test.”

The groans went up immediately and I had to cough to cover my laugh.  It wasn’t that bad of a test, but I was going to make sure they studied as much as possible.

 

-ooo-

 

I had turned to my notes on my desk when I heard someone clear their throat.  I looked up to see Carrick Frye standing in front of me, looking uncertain. 

“Mr. Frye, I can’t give you any hints on the final.  You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.  It’s not that, it’s just…”  He loosened his tie and sighed.

“Ok, Frye, what’s going on?  Is this about Muggle Studies?”

“Not really, Professor Muggle.  Well…um…”

I figured I’d put him out of his misery with a guess.  “Is it about Ruby?”

“Yeah.  No.  Sort of.  Um…well, she’s really good friends with Lavinia.  And Lavinia’s going out with Willy, Ruby’s cousin…”

“Yes?”

“Well, I know they’re coming over to your house sometime this summer, Lavinia’s talked about it.  Ruby wants me to come too, and I want to, but…well, some of the guys in my house have been saying that I’m turning Hufflepuff.”

“Turning Hufflepuff?  What the hell does that mean, Carrick?”

“I don’t know for sure.  I guess it means that I’m not being a ‘real Gryffindor,’ whatever that means.”

I pushed my glasses to the top of my head.  “Ok, here’s my take.  Yes, I’m the Head of Hufflepuff.  I know Muggle Studies isn’t as cool as DADA.  I know Professor Farnsworth is a very popular teacher, more popular than me.  Don’t say anything, it’s true.  She was an Auror.  Totally cooler than Muggle Studies.  I get that.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a girlfriend and friends who are Hufflepuffs.  Look at me; some of my best friends are Gryffindors.  Hell, almost all of them.  But they don’t care that I’m Head of Hufflepuff or my fiancée was in Hufflepuff.  And if they give you any crap about Hufflepuffs not being brave, give them two names, Cedric Diggory and Nymphadora Tonks.  If they don’t know who they are, they should know and I’d be ashamed if they didn’t know who they are.  Carrick, if you’ve learned anything in my class I hope it’s this, when you get down to it which house you’re in doesn’t matter.  Look at Sawgrass.  Think about him, the only Slytherin boy in Muggle Studies.  He’s probably taken some shit for being in Muggle Studies and now he’s dating Franny Ellsworth.  You can do it too, Carrick.  You’re a Gryffindor, and the Sorting Hat put you there for a reason.  Be brave enough to do what you want, if you think it’s the right thing to do, regardless of what people say.”

He stood there for a moment, and I guessed it sunk in, because his expression brightened considerably.  “Thanks, Professor Muggle.  Sorry about bothering you with this stuff.”

“It’s no problem, Carrick.  It seems like you’ve got enough on your hands just trying to stay in Ruby’s good graces, am I right?”

“Bloody hell, how do you make women happy?  I mean, how do you do it?”

“Remember our talk from last year?  Apologize a lot.  We usually screw up.  Trust me, I’m a lot older than you and I still screw up all the time.  Ok, now get your butt out of here and hurry or you’ll be late for your next class.  You do have class next, don’t you?”

“History of Magic.”

I laughed.  “Oh, never mind.  Binns won’t notice if you’re late.  Now get going.”

 

-ooo-

 

After all of the classes ended I was as glad as my students that it was Friday night, as Melody was coming over to have supper with me and go over the wedding things that I had ignored for most of the year.  Just like my students, I was going to be cramming as well for a final, except this final would end better than theirs; trust me, going on a honeymoon was much better than getting your grades by owl.  I made my way up to my room and threw my bag in my big green chair and flopped down on the bed.  The students’ anxiety about their final had somehow made me nervous about my wedding, and I needed to relax a bit.  I reached over and pulled my WUMP off the nightstand and listened to music for a while, oblivious to the time.  I was almost through one of my favorite albums when I felt someone pull on my foot.

“Mel!  Sorry, didn’t know you were here.  What time is it?  Did I fall asleep?”

She stood at the foot of my bed with a large messenger bag full of parchment and an almost irritated expression on her face.  “No, Henry, I’m early.  I thought you’d want to get a good start as we’ve got a lot to go over.  But if you’d rather listen to your music…”

I sat up and put my WUMP back on my nightstand.  “Oh no, no, I’m ready.  Let’s get started.”

She sat down at the desk in my chair and started taking her parchments out of her bag.  I thought the pieces of parchment would never end, but eventually they did and she looked at me and shook her head.

“Aren’t you going to sit down?  And take some notes?  What would your students say?”

“That you’re a lot better looking than I am.”  I pulled a chair over and sat down quickly beside her.  “Ok, Professor Bramble, what’s the first thing?”

An hour later I looked at my poor calendar, which seemed to be groaning under the weight of all the new appointments.  July was fairly open, but August?  August was a mess.  Tinney was arriving in the UK on the second.  My parents and the rest of my family, with Lavender, were arriving on the fourth.  Mike Greene was arriving on the sixth, accompanied by an Auror or something, but I didn’t know the full details on that.  The final kilt/dress fitting was on the eighth; Charlie was coming in from Romania on the ninth which was the same day that my family was invited over to tea at Lane Bramble’s house.  I only hoped that Uncle Reggie would be there.  The tenth was the big Muggle Dinner in Aberdeen that Titus had arranged, as well as Melody’s birthday.  Then it was the homestretch; the eleventh was the wedding rehearsal and then the Bachelor Party/Hen Night combination.  After that it was the big day, the wedding at Hogwarts.  On the thirteenth Melody had written “Honeymoon???” and then underlined it several times.

I looked over at the calendar, and I was surprised that Tinney was going to arrive so early.  “Hey Mel, is Tinney staying with us until the wedding?  I guess we could magically expand the couch or something…”

“Don’t be silly.  She and Lavinia are staying at my place.  Well, my old place.  I haven’t been there in quite a while, so it’s probably a sight.  Maybe you could ask Nonky…”

“No, I’m not doing that.  He may be a house elf, but I’m not abusing the privilege.  Check and see if Angelina has started the whole ‘I’m pregnant and nesting and have to clean the bejeezus out of everything’ phase of her pregnancy or something, I’m not making Nonky do that.”

“You’re no fun.  Ok, I’ll go clean later.  I’m not telling Angelina you said that, either.  I want you to have all your parts when we get married.  And Tinney wrote me a while back asking if she and Lavinia could be together for a while and I offered my old place.  It’ll give them some space and besides, Tinney suggested we should have some time alone.”

“Like I won’t be spending the rest of my life with you.  What’s a few more days?”  I covered my head and laughed, but when I looked up at Mel she wasn’t laughing.

“Funny.  Screamingly funny.  Ha ha.  Maybe I should make you go stay with Neville until we get married, how would you like that?’

“You’re not going to do that.  Are you?”

“No, now let’s talk about the reception.  I’ve got the music secured, and…”

“Is it a band?  Who’s playing?  Have I heard of them?  Will I know the music?”

“Yes, you have and no, I’m not telling you the details again.  Hank, if you didn’t pay attention when I told you before it’s your loss.  Think of it as a wedding surprise.”

 

-ooo-

 

Lavinia took time away from her studies to come up to my room for supper, and not surprisingly she brought Willy Smythe with her.  It was a very enjoyable evening, as it turned out that Willy was a very funny kid, something I had no idea about as when I met him before he was very nervous around me.  I guessed that accidentally spilling my butterbeer all over Mel, causing her to jump up and almost say a few bad words had a way of breaking the tension.  For the most part Willy was interested in the story of what happened after Ted and Candice’s wedding and Melody and I took turns telling the story, stepping in and filling in parts that the other omitted.  I also realized that Lavinia had never really heard the story before either, and when it came to the part about my dispatching two anti-Muggle idiots I glossed over that quickly, not saying exactly what had happened. 

“So Professor, you did some sort of spell to protect your nephew without knowing what you were doing?  That’s what Professor Farnsworth calls unconscious magic, kind of like what little kids do.  But you did something bigger, kind of like, um, collective conscious.”

That took me by surprise.  “I think you mean collective unconscious, but thanks.  I’ll ask Pet…Professor Farnsworth about it sometime.” 

Lavinia smiled at Willy, then her face changed and I could tell she was nervous.  She looked at me quickly, and then turned to Melody.  “Um, Melody, I know I’m going to be helping you with your wedding dress and everything, but, um, Willy’s not in Muggle Studies, but I was wondering…do you think it would be ok if Willy came to the wedding with me?  I understand if…”

Melody put her hand on Lavinia’s arm.  “I understand.  Of course you can bring Willy.  Well, if Willy’s parents are ok with it, and you make the proper arrangements first.  Willy, I’ll write your parents a note.  Will that work?’

Suddenly I realized the real reason that Lavinia brought Willy to supper, she wanted to ask if she could bring him as her date to the wedding.  I was glad once again that Melody had talked to Lavinia about boys, because weddings were traditionally…well, I remember being at weddings, the charged atmosphere, the alcohol…the alcohol!  Hopefully we could make sure that none of the underage kids got any of that, but if my experience was any indication the atmosphere was very conducive for people pairing off, regardless of ages or beverages. 

After we said goodnight to Lavinia and Willy, Melody came over and sat in my lap.  I was happy the big green chair was large enough to hold us both comfortably, and we sipped a bit of firewhiskey.  I brushed her hair over her ear, surprised that she’d let it grow so long.

“I like your hair.  Any particular reason you’re letting it grow out?  Not that I mind, of course.”

“Yes, I’m letting it grow for the wedding.  I have plans, well, JoJo has plans for it, some fancy hairdo thing that I need long hair for…I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will.  Hell, you could be bald for all I care.”

“We’ve seen you bald, and one of us without hair is quite enough, thank you.  Hmm…I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“You could stay, you know.  It’s Friday night, no classes tomorrow.”

“Hank!  How would I get out of here without being seen?  How would that look for your students?”

“Hop up for a second; I think I have the answer.”  After Melody extricated herself from my lap I walked over to one of the shelves, pulled off a box and opened it up.  “Nope, nope, that’s…wait, there it is.”  I pulled out what I was looking for and handed it to Melody.  “It’s a TIC, or temporary invisibility cloak.  Should last long enough for you to leave Hogwarts and make it to an apparition-safe spot.  Want to break a rule, Miss Hufflepuff?  If you get caught I can write you a note.”

 

-ooo-

 

Melody shook me awake, and when my eyes adjusted to the very dim light I realized it was very early.  She sat on the bed, fully dressed and not very happy.

“What’s wrong, Mel?”

“The TIC works perfectly well, but I can’t get out of Hogwarts.  The enchantments are too strong.  Now what, genius?”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.  “Shit, didn’t think about that.  How did George manage it?”

“George?”

“I know for a fact that he smuggled Angelina in here a lot last year and they never got caught.  How did he do it?”

“He’s George Weasley, Hank.  Who knows?  What are we going to do?”

“I’ll owl George and ask if he knows any secret ways in and out of Hogwarts.  I’ll say that I think some students are trying to sneak out or something.”

“He’ll side with the students and probably not tell you, if he knows.  Wait, I’m sure he knows.”  She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.  “Brilliant idea, Hank.  What could possibly go wrong?  And how did I get in here yesterday?”

“Titus knew you were coming.  Probably relaxed the enchantments or something.  I don’t know.  I’m shit at magic, you know that.”

“Language, Hank.  Honestly.  Swearing isn’t going to help.  Think of something.”

“I’ll go find Neville.  He’ll keep it under his hat.  Let me go to the loo and I’ll go see him.”

Ten minutes later I stood at Neville’s door, feeling embarrassed.  He answered my knock wearing a robe and looking as if I’d woken him, which was highly likely as it was still o’dark thirty.

“Mmm..what is it, Hank?  And what time is it?”

“Freaking early, that’s what time it is.  I have a situation, Nev.  I need some help, can I come in?”

“Mmmhmm…come on in.  I’ll put on some tea.”

While the tea was in process I told him my problem, causing a large amount of laughter.  “Oh Hank, you’ve given me too much material for my speech at the reception.  I know, this is off limits, but still…ok, I know of one way, if it’s still open.  Go get Melody and meet me on the third floor main landing in, um, ten minutes.”

I followed Neville’s instructions, and soon Melody, under the rapidly expiring TIC, stood next to me on the third floor landing waiting for Neville.  Sure enough he arrived as expected and laughed at me.  Well, us. 

“Ok, let’s go for a quick walk.  I know this used to be open, but I’m not sure if it is anymore.”

We walked down the hall for a moment, and then a door began to materialize out of the wall.  Neville didn’t look surprised, but I was.  I had no idea if Melody was or not, as she was invisible.  “Nev, is this…”

“Yes, the Room of Requirement.  I’ve spent some time in here, so I think it should be able to help you out, even if you’re not a student.”  He opened the door, and I looked in to see the largest collection of junk imaginable.  To me it looked like a giant auction house had thrown up in the room.

Neville walked in and admired the surroundings.  “Seems to have repaired itself quite well after the fire.  And the tradition of hiding junk here continues.  Let’s see if I can find it.”

We walked for some time, snaking through the irregularly spaced pathways until we came to a portrait of a young girl.  Neville smiled at her, and she smiled back and waved at Neville.  Without asking she walked away, and a few moments she returned and nodded at Neville, smiling the entire time.

“Ok, it’s still open.  Melody…um, you can take that off now.  I can make out your outline, so it’s fading anyway.”

Melody took the TIC off and threw it on top of one of the junk piles, and we watched it start dissolving until eventually there was nothing left.  “Now what, Neville?  Hopefully this idea is better than Hank’s.”

I rolled my eyes.  “For the millionth time I had no idea that you wouldn’t be able to get out in the morning, Mel.  I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Neville put his hands behind his back.  “Yes.  Well.  Um, Melody, this passageway will take you to the Hog’s Head.  From there you should be able to apparate home.  Hopefully it’s early enough that nobody will notice.”  He lifted one corner of the portrait, and it swung open as if it was a door on hinges.  “It gets a bit cramped towards the end, but you’re not too tall, so you should be fine.”

Melody walked over to me and smacked me on the arm, then walked over to Neville and leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.  “Thank you, Neville.”  With that she crawled into the passageway and headed off into the darkness, her way illuminated by her wand.

After closing the portrait Neville looked over to me and began laughing, laughing as I’d never heard him laugh before.  “Thanks Nev.  For the help, not the laughter.  I mean, I had no idea she couldn’t get out.  How did George get Angelina out of her last year?”

“He brought her to Hogwarts?  I didn’t know that.  How he got her out, well that’s easy.  George and Fred knew all of the secret passageways in and out of Hogwarts.  Besides, he’s George.  I’m sure he figured something out.”

 

-ooo-

 

I figured that was enough excitement for the morning, so after thanking Neville again I went back to my room and collapsed into bed.  By the time I got up the sun was brightly shining through my window, and I went down to the Great Hall to find that breakfast had officially ended, but the light, late breakfast was available for me and the other late risers.  I sat at the staff table and read _The_ _Prophet_ when Calliope entered and landed in front of me.  I didn’t really want to open the letter, but I was glad when I did, as Melody wasn’t really mad, more irritated with me that I hadn’t thought everything through and knew all of the details.  She did see the humorous side of it now, and luckily she’d made it into the Hog’s Head and was able to sneak out the back door during one of the deliveries without being seen. 

I spent the rest of weekend reading and doing the final preparations for the Muggle Studies final exams.  I thought I’d have a little fun with the students, so I rounded up all of my Muggle ink pens.  If they were taking a Muggle Studies final, they could take them like Muggles.  I thought it was a nice little touch, and hopefully nothing would go horribly wrong.  After all, my last great idea ended up with me waking up Neville and Melody sneaking out of the Hog’s Head. 

Everything had gone great during the weekend, as I felt relaxed and comfortable with everything until I saw my calendar, specifically August.  I still had to figure out what I was getting Melody for her birthday and confirm my honeymoon plans with Ian Coswock and my brother Nate.  I hurriedly wrote out a note for Ian and sent it off with one of the school owls, as Calliope was with Melody, then went back and wrote one note to Bill Weasley and an actual Muggle letter to Nate.  I’d send them both off tomorrow, which would give me plenty of time to make sure everything was taken care of.  Well, I still had Melody’s birthday present, and I had no idea what I was going to do for that.

 

-ooo-

 

Monday was the final for the first and second years, and since it had been an abbreviated year for them my final wasn’t that hard.  I smiled as I watched Lavinia take her final and was proud as she was one of the first students to turn in her test.  I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself, so I graded her paper first.  I was very happy to see that she did very well, even better than her grade last year, and I hoped that I had something to do with that.  Well, of course I had something to do with that, I was her teacher, but I hoped that her exposure to the Muggle world on our Easter shopping visit, as well as staying at Colony House had helped.  The rest of the student papers were good, except for one second year Gryffindor boy who had decided to answer every fill-in-the-blank question “Harry Potter.”  That was actually funny to read, even though it was completely wrong.  It’s not every day you can read that the name of the legislative parts of the English Government were the House of Lords and the House of Harry Potter.  I didn’t like failing students, and luckily for him he had answered enough of the multiple choice questions correctly to squeak by with the lowest possible passing grade.

The rest of the finals that week went well, and there was a noticeable difference in the students who were taking their OWL and NEWT exams.  The OWL students had pretty normal tests, but for the NEWT students they had a written test with me, and then had to go to another classroom for the practical portion of their final.  I found out afterwards that Titus had arranged for Arthur Weasley to be one of the NEWT examiners, and I hoped that both of my Ravenclaw girls had done well, but then again they were two of the students I was least worried about.

When Friday arrived I was as happy as the students that the tests were over, even though my work wasn’t finished; after all, I still had to grade a lot of papers.  As I made my way down to the Great Hall, dressed up for the end of the year feast, I ran into Petal Farnsworth.

“Professor Farnsworth!  I hope you had a good first year.  What do you think?’

“Well, Professor Muggle, it was very educational, at least for me.  I think my students liked it, too.  And learned a few things.”

“No doubt on that one.  You know you’re the favorite teacher here.  All my students talk about your class.”

“Really?”  She smoothed her long braid.  “I had no idea.  I don’t make it easy; it is DADA after all.”

As we entered the Great Hall and headed to the staff table I smiled.  “I don’t think they like your class because it’s hard or easy, I think they like the subject and the instructor.”

“Thank you.  I hope that’s the case.  Well, we’d better get to our seats.  Looks like Titus is ready to start.”

 

-ooo-

 

I settled in next to Cho and Neville and looked out at the students, who were obviously happy the year was over as they were quite loud and somewhat rambunctious.  That ended quickly as Titus stepped to the podium.

“Quiet please, quiet.  Now if I may have your attention I have a few announcements.  First I would like to congratulate each of you, as this year has been quite, um, different from other years at Hogwarts.  I believe I speak for all of the Professors when I say that your work has been quite exemplary under the circumstances.  Now to business.”  Titus cleared his throat, causing everyone to stare in rapt attention.  “I would like to announce that Professor Farnsworth has agreed to return to Hogwarts next year and will teach DADA.  As we can see, that position is no longer cursed.”

There was a considerable amount of cheering and clapping, and Petal waved at the crowd with her cursed hand, causing a large amount of laughter.  Titus didn’t understand why there was so much laughter until he looked at Petal, and then he chuckled.

“Very good, very good Professor Farnsworth.  I have one other staff announcement.  The Board of Governors has decided that I will remain your Headmaster, now on a permanent basis.”

Again there was much clapping and some cheers from the students.  I guessed having Flurbin for a Headmaster for a while had shown how much of a difference a good Headmaster could make.  Titus waved them to be quiet again, and the students accommodated him fairly quickly.

“The final standings of the Quidditch Cup are Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.  And now the moment I know you have been waiting for, the winner of this year’s House Cup is Ravenclaw!  Let the feast begin!”

With that the banners and pennants in the Great Hall changed to Ravenclaw colors, causing everyone at the Ravenclaw table to stand and clap.  I looked over at the Hufflepuff table, and I caught Angus Wandsworth’s eyes, and he mouthed “next year” to me.

For the rest of the evening I visited with Cho and Neville, discussing how crazy the year had been and how much we were all looking forward to next year now that Titus had been made permanent Headmaster.  All in all it had been a good year, even if, personally, it had been an absolutely crazy year.  Hopefully I’d have a normal year next year, but hell, I had no idea what normal meant at Hogwarts.

 

-ooo-

 

The next morning was a flurry of activity, as students said their goodbyes and hurriedly packed trunks.  I sat down at the Hufflepuff table with Lavinia and had a cup of tea.  It was nice that we didn’t have to rush around, as we’d be walking to Colony House later that morning after she’d said her goodbyes to everybody.  When Willy Smythe stopped by the table and Lavinia looked over at me I just nodded, and she walked off to tell Willy goodbye in private.  I hadn’t been sitting there more than ten minutes after Lavinia left when Titus sat down next to me.

“Well, Hank, I think things ended well, don’t you?”

I nodded.  “I do, Gavin, I do.  I mean, talk about a messed up beginning of the year.”  I noticed something out of the corner of my eye, and watched Filch walk by carrying Mrs. Norris and being trailed by the black and white fuzzy kitten that Lavinia had given him, well not so much a kitten anymore as a young cat.  “Mrs. Norris is still alive?  I thought she wasn’t going to last very long when…you know, I didn’t see Filch much towards the end of the year.  What’s the story there?”

Titus nodded.  “He asked for some time away to be with Mrs. Norris.  I understand he contacted some animal healers and got some special potions for her, I believe he mixes it up in her food.  She’s better, but still very ill.  He told me last week at supper that Miss Pemberton is learning the ropes from Mrs. Norris quite well.”

“Miss Pemberton?  Is that what he named the kitten?”

“Yes, and he dotes on her.  I believe Miss Ryder would have to burn down the school before Argus would punish her.  Thankfully she’s very well behaved.  Now, I do have some news for you.  Hank, about your textbook…”

_Great.  Here’s the part where Titus tells me close but no cigar.  Wonderful._

“Hank, I’ve discussed it with the Board of Governors, and they agree with me, I’m going to approve the use of your Muggle Studies textbook as the approved text for the class.  Normally professors have the right to choose their text, but you have, well, you’re a special case.  I’m sure you’re used to hearing that now, but I think you’re doing a great job at Muggle Studies.  Your students are learning so much more than they could have with the traditional text, and…it’s a good textbook.  Well thought out.  Appropriate for all levels.  Congratulations, Hank.”

I was speechless.  I was definitely not expecting that.  After a few moments I composed myself and looked over at Titus.  “Thank you, Gavin, for everything.  I know you’ve been very lenient with my absences, and some of my teaching methods, not to mention the wedding.  Thank you.  Thank you very much.”

Before either of us could say anything Lavinia arrived back at the table, looking somewhat sad, but after seeing the Headmaster at the table her demeanor changed.  “Oh, hello Headmaster.  Congratulations, I think you’ll be a wonderful Headmaster.”

He smiled at her.  “Thank you, Miss Ryder.  I appreciate that very much.  Now I’ll leave you and Professor Muggle to your tea.  I will see both of you very soon, so until then.”

 

-ooo-

 

Lavinia and I arrived at Colony House, Lavinia holding Flick’s cat carrier, to find Melody waiting for us, but something was out of place.  I almost didn’t recognize it for a moment, but then…

“Mel, do I smell chocolate chip cookies?”

She straightened her back and looked at me proudly.  “Yes, you do.  I just took the last batch out of the oven, so they’re still warm.” 

“Holy crap, you made cookies?  When did you learn to do that?”

“Molly Weasley came over for tea the other day.  She’s been giving me lessons on the side.  I can do more than cookies, too.  I’ll show you later.  Now come on, they won’t stay warm all day.  I’ll get the milk.”

Lavinia looked up at me and I shrugged.  “We’d better do what she says.  Come on, can’t let them get cold.”  She sat down the cat carrier and let out Flick, who immediately began surveying his new accommodations.

As we sat down to milk and cookies I was surprised that the cookies weren’t burnt or raw or horrible, they were actually…well, they were actually damned good.  Melody was explaining to Lavinia what other things she could cook when suddenly she stopped and stood up. 

“Hank, before I forget you have two letters here.  One of them is from your brother and the other is from Ian Coswock.  I was going to sent them to you at Hogwarts but I figured you’d be here before I could send them.”

After retrieving the letters from the post shelf she handed them to me.  I wasn’t sure what to do, as I didn’t want to answer the questions I knew I would receive, and after all, I was sure the contents of the letters would be about the honeymoon plans.  “Um, Mel, I can’t tell you what’s in these.”

“And why not?”  She looked over to Lavinia and winked.  “I don’t think it’s fair that he doesn’t tell us, do you?”

I shook my head.  “No fair, putting Lavinia in the middle.  For your information, these letters probably have details about our honeymoon, and you said you wanted it to be a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait.  Now if you two will excuse me I’m going to read these in my office.  No peeking.”

I sat down in my office and couldn’t decide which one to open first, so I flipped an American quarter that I found in my desk and picked Ian’s letter.  It was as I had hoped; Ian had successfully made the arrangements in America, the UMS actually.  We would have most of the honeymoon paid for by the different bookstores and the publisher, as we’d be touring and I’d be making some appearances, signing copies of _My Wand is Useless_.  I would have to write Ian back and have him add in some of the schools in the UMS so I could talk to them about my Muggle Studies text.  Having it designated the official text at Hogwarts wasn’t going to hurt, and I was sure that Ian would take the news as he always did.  Hopefully there would be none of the usual Ian “helpful” things like at the other book signing.

Nate’s letter was even better.  He’d received a letter from Bill Weasley, and all of the transfers from Gringott’s to Fillett Financials, the UMS version of Gringott’s was complete, and he’d gone there with Lavender and had exchanged enough Galleons to buy a car for me to use on the honeymoon.  I had requested a nice car, nothing ostentatious, but I should have known better.  Nate, in so many words, told me that I was a complete dork for wanting a boring sedan and had completely ignored my wishes.  Now, instead of a four door car that would blend in easily he had bought something else and had enclosed a picture.  I looked on the desk and found the envelope, and sure enough there was a picture.  I didn’t know if I was mad or not, because in the picture Nate stood in front of a cream colored Jaguar XK-120, complete with the classic wire-spoke wheels.  I didn’t know what to think exactly but after a while I thought “why the hell not?”  After all, I’m on my honeymoon! 

“I can’t get even one little hint?”  Melody poked her head around the door.  “Not one teensy hint?  After all, I planned almost all of the wedding by myself.”

“Oh really?  What about the Big Guns?  And Pepper?”

“Ok, I did a lot more work than you.  I think I should get a little hint.”

I folded up the letters and put them in a drawer, but kept out the picture.  I stood up and walked over to Melody.  “Ok, here’s your hint.  We’ll be driving this on our honeymoon.”  I handed her the picture and she seemed unimpressed.

“A car?  Um, ok.”

“Mel, that’s not just a car, that’s a Jaguar, and one of the most beautiful they’ve ever built.  Think of it this way, what’s the best broomstick ever made?  It’s like that, but a ton better.”

“If you say so, Hank.  And where are we going to be driving this car?’

I smiled.  “That’s part of the surprise.”

 


	20. Fireworks

**Chapter 20: Fireworks**

 

Saturday morning Melody and I woke up to a loud knock on our bedroom door.  I fumbled for my glasses and tried to nudge Melody awake, but she simply made a grunting noise and rolled over.  Wonderful.  I threw on my robe and opened the door to see Lavinia in a large Puddlemere United t-shirt looking excited. 

“What is it?  Something wrong?”

She shook her head and handed me a note.  “No, it’s great news Professor Muggle!  I hope you don’t mind, I opened it before I saw it was addressed to you and Melody.  Sorry!”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”  I adjusted my glasses and quickly scanned the note.  “Go wake up Melody; she won’t be as grumpy since it’s you waking her up.  I’m going to start the kettle.”

I was in the kitchen when Melody stumbled in and sat at the table.  I looked at her and then over to Lavinia, who shook her head.

“You were wrong.  She’s still grumpy.”

Melody shifted her head in her hand.  “And good reason, too.  Merlin’s sake, do you know what time it is?”

I nodded.  “Yep.  You might want to pull yourself together; we’re going to St. Mungo’s to see the newest Weasley.”

That perked her up, and she looked over at the calendar.  “Fleur had the baby!  Why didn’t you say so?”

It was a long time later that I sat in the reception area with Arthur Weasley as he held Dominique, his newest granddaughter.  I looked over to Lavinia, who sat in a chair holding Rose while chatting with Hermione.  “Arthur, you and Molly have to be really happy.  I mean, first Rose, then Albus and Dominique and Angelina’s due in December…what a year.”

He chuckled.  “It has been a parade of nappies, that’s for sure.  Molly has been ecstatic; it seems as if she’s never at home, always visiting her grandchildren.  One of these days I’m sure Ginny or Hermione will have enough of her unannounced visits and let her know about it, but they’ve all been very good.”

Arthur nudged me and nodded towards Melody, who was currently holding Albus.  I smiled, as she looked wonderful holding our godson.  “She’s going to spoil him rotten, you know.”

“Well, that’s to be expected.  You two are godparents; leave the discipline to the parents.  Except for something horrible, of course.”  He was silent for a moment, and then his tone changed.  “Are you still worried about having children, that they’ll be Muggles?  Don’t worry about that, Hank.  I’m sure everything will turn out for the best.”

Arthur was right, I was thinking about that.  “You know, for some reason Sybill’s prophecy has made me feel more at ease.  The part about ‘loving each house’ has made me think that we’ll have three kids.  I’m Head of Hufflepuff, so that would mean we’d have a kid in Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw.  I did have a dream that was weird.”

I spent the next few moments retelling the story of my dream, that Melody was very pregnant in a picture and stood next to a boy and a girl.  Arthur adjusted Dominique slightly in his arms and then looked over to me.  “Some of Sybill’s prophecies do come true, and even if that one doesn’t happen precisely like your dream, it is a very nice thought, isn’t it?”

 

-ooo-

 

July fourth was an odd day for me, as I was celebrating Independence Day in Scotland, which was weird, as the holiday was to celebrate American independence from the British.  I sat in my office, and shook my head.  Maybe I was doing it in reverse; after all, I was a new dual-citizen of both America and Britain.  At least it would be a fun night, as George had decided he liked the American idea of fireworks and had promised to bring over some new pieces that he had concocted.  Thankfully we lived far enough away from the major portions of Stintborough to avoid most of the neighbors, but just in case I went down to the pub in the village and happened to mention to a few regulars that I’d be having some fireworks at my place, continuing the American tradition. 

This didn’t go as I expected, because instead of just ignoring me as a crazy American expat it was a signal for some of the folks to invite themselves over to watch the fireworks.  Hamish, the bartender, apologized for the lack of manners and said he’d make it up to me by bringing around some beer and whiskey.  It was definitely going to be interesting.

Melody and Lavinia were nervous that we’d have a house full of Muggles, but I told them not to worry.  Thankfully their fears were groundless, as it turned out my neighbors were normal, regular people.  The women were interested to hear that we were getting married, and one older woman slightly scolded Melody for living with me before we were married, but for the most part it was as if we’d stopped back and were visiting with people from the town I grew up in.  Well, except for the accents.  I ended up drinking beer and whiskey with the men, and when asked about George’s single ear I explained it away as a fireworks accident. 

The fireworks, thankfully, were completely Muggle-safe, nothing about the Wizarding world that I would have to explain.  The kids in the area seemed to enjoy them quite a lot, and I was happy to see that Lavinia was getting along well with the kids her age.  I panicked for a moment when I overheard one of the girls ask her where she went to school, and was happy when I heard Lavinia say that she was only here visiting, and she went to school in London.  It reminded me that eventually we’d all need cover stories for when we were dealing with Muggles. 

The surprising part was when the local newspaper reporter asked if she could interview me for their paper.  I really couldn’t say no, so I agreed, and quickly found out that the reporter was also the photographer, editor and publisher.  When asked about why I was continuing the American tradition, I said that Independence Day meant as an American I was independent to make my own decisions, and I had decided that I liked Scotland, and Stintborough, enough that I wanted to stay full-time.  I told her that I’d obtained dual-citizenship, but I was staying here.  The part that threw me, though, was when she asked about the book I was writing.  I’d given out the cover story that I was a writer, but for some reason I never really thought that anyone would ask me about it.  I scrambled and said that I’d written quite a lot, but after reading it I thought it was rubbish and had started over.  Hopefully that would give me some time to figure out exactly what I was going to do.

Before the evening ended Mabel, the jack-of-all-trades newspaper whiz, cajoled me to stand for a picture with Melody and Lavinia.  We said that Lavinia was a niece, who was staying with us over the summer, and that seemed to go over well enough.  As I stood outside with everyone and watched the last of the fireworks stream into the sky and explode in a multitude of massively loud bangs and purple explosions, I felt pretty good.  A perfect example of integration into the Muggle world, and a lesson that I could use next year for my class about how important it is to be able to blend in with Muggles.

 

-ooo-

 

The next morning I woke up fairly early, and had just managed to open the _Daily Prophet_ when I heard a loud, insistent knock at my front door.  I didn’t like the sound of the knocking, so I opened the door somewhat quickly, and Harry Potter walked into my living room without saying a word, narrowly avoiding Flick who ran past his legs.  The look on his face wasn’t good.   _Fuck_.

“What is it Harry?  Is my family ok?”

“Yes, and no thanks to you.  You’re a bloody idiot, you know that?  Look at this.”

He shoved a newspaper in front of me, and there we were on the front page, Melody, Lavinia and me.  It was the local Muggle paper with the story on my Fourth of July mini-celebration.  I looked up at Harry and his face was dark.

“Why not just advertise where you live?  Wait, you did better than that.  Fireworks!  Bloody hell, Hank.  We’ve been doing everything possible to make sure you and your family, not to mention your wedding, will be safe and this is how you repay us?”

By this time Melody and Lavinia had made their way to the living room doorway, and Harry glanced at them and shook his head.  “You’re threatening their safety as well.  Is that what you want?”

“Harry, I didn’t think…”

“Bloody right you didn’t think.  Well it’s too late now.  I’ve already yelled at George this morning, he definitely should have known better.  With the information about possible k…”

“Why don’t you sit down and have a cup of tea?”  I looked at Harry, and then quickly glanced over to Lavinia.  He caught my drift, nodded, and seemed to calm down somewhat as we moved towards the kitchen table.

As I filled the kettle Lavinia sat next to Harry.  “So, how are James and Albus?  Do you think I could help out soon?”

Whatever anger that was left in Harry soon dissipated, and he chatted briefly with Lavinia about the Potter boys.  I was glad that Lavinia was keeping him occupied, as Melody stood close to me at the stove.  She began whispering, and eventually I caught on.

“…didn’t even think about Lavinia being here.  It’s not like him, Hank.  I’m worried.”

“It’ll be fine, Mel.  We are causing him a lot of work.  Ron as well.  I guess we need to remember that.”

After we sat down and everyone had prepared their tea, Harry took off his glasses.  “I’m sorry for going off like that.  I know it has to be hard, but…”

“I get it Harry.  Sometimes I forget about, well, about certain difficulties.  I just feel at home here.”  I looked over to Mel and Lavinia.  “We all do.”

“Speaking of that, I’m over here for another reason besides yelling at you.  Ginny wanted to know if you would like to stay the weekend at Grimmauld…”

“Yes!  Yes we would!”  Lavinia was almost out of her chair.  “I’ll just pack a little bag.  Be right back!”

Melody sat back with her tea.  “I guess that settles it, then.  Any particular reason Ginny wanted us to come over?”

“Not really.  I think she just wanted the company, actually.  I’m going to be out in the field for a while.”  Harry looked directly at me.  “But hopefully I’ll be back soon.  Also she has been bugging me about a nanny for the boys.  You know how much Lavinia likes the babies, well, all little kids.  Maybe she’ll grow up to be a Professor.”

Melody shook her head.  “I don’t know, I think she likes the little ones.”

“I’m ready whenever you are.”  Lavinia stood at the doorway to the kitchen with her rucksack over her shoulder. 

I poked Mel.  “I think that’s our cue.”

 

-ooo-

 

After we arrived at Grimmauld and everyone seemed settled in for a good visit, Harry pointed towards upstairs, so I followed him silently.  After we had entered his office he closed the door and sat at his desk.  I sat in one of the big overstuffed leather chairs, as I knew that our visit was more than Ginny wanting company. 

“I know you figured it out, Hank, but just having a weekend visit wasn’t the main objective.  I am going into the field, and if everything goes according to plan, you are too.”

“What?  Are you serious?  Harry, I’m nowhere near an Auror, hell, first year DADA students could kick my ass.  And if you give me another TIC it’ll last what, twenty, thirty minutes?”

“Merlin’s beard, calm down.  First of all it’s not for certain you’re going, and secondly if you do go you won’t be wearing a TIC.  You’ll be using my invisibility cloak.  I’m waiting for a message; they’ll be contacting me in here, so I don’t care what happens we’re staying in here for the next twenty minutes.  Got it?”

“Ok, ok.  Fine.”  I sat very quietly for a moment, and usually it didn’t bother me but for some reason it suddenly did.  “Harry, you mentioned in our Floo conversation, before the end of the term that the WLF is going to try and kidnap somebody.  Is that what we’re, um, at least you are, well, is that…”

Harry shook his head.  “No, Hank, we haven’t really heard anything on that lately.  This is something entirely different.  Malfoy’s out of the country, so when we contacted him he suggested that you go.  Said that you were up to speed on the particulars.  I still don’t know if I trust him, but Rolf vouched for the information.”

“Harry, you there?”  Ron’s head appeared in the green flames in the fireplace. 

Harry and I moved over to kneel down in front of the fireplace.  “Yeah, and Hank’s here, too.  Before you say anything I already read him the riot act.  What’s the word?”

After Ron called me dumber than a drunken troll he told us that the meeting was setup, and that we’d meet Rolf in twenty minutes at the location.  Surprisingly neither Harry nor Ron had a cover story on why they were heading out, and couldn’t think of a reason why I would need to go with them on Auror business that wouldn’t arouse suspicion, but I saved the day, somewhat.  Well, more like I slightly atoned for my fireworks.  My suggestion of telling the women that it was something to do with the honeymoon plans was readily accepted, as everyone knew that it was going to be my surprise for Melody and I hadn’t told anyone about my plans.

Fifteen minutes later I stood under Harry’s invisibility cloak next to Ron and Harry right outside of a lone tree in a large, open field.  I couldn’t see anything on the horizon except for more grass and some slight hills.  Ron studied his watch intently, and before I could say anything he grabbed my arm.

“Now, Harry.”

I felt the familiar, slightly nauseating tug of apparition, and when I opened my eyes we were on a high hill, maybe the beginnings of a mountain, and the wind was whipping around us fiercely.  A small green tent sat on the summit of the hill, and Ron tugged me along towards the tent.

“You can take that off when we get inside, Hank.  Harry, you want to do the honors?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Harry move his wand in some particular and odd motions, and I took it to mean that Harry was setting the precautionary spells.  As we entered the tent I expected another magical tent, inside bigger than the outside, but this time I was disappointed as it was a standard, Muggle tent.  Rolf Scamander sat cross-legged inside, and for a moment I almost thought he was asleep, but he opened his eyes slowly. 

“You can take it off now, Hank.”

Ron elbowed me, and I took off the invisibility cloak and slung it over my arm.  Before I could ask what was going on Harry stepped inside, and we all sat on the floor.  Out of nowhere I was reminded of being a Boy Scout and sitting the same way in a tent while camping, but I had a feeling this conversation was going to be much more serious than trying to figure out how to sneak into the girls’ camp across the river.

Rolf looked to Harry and Ron, and then at me, and it seemed as if his eyes were boring into my head.  “Professor Boyd, I’ve asked you to come here upon the request of Draco Malfoy.  He has provided us some information and believes that you will be able to assist in his absence.  As for me, I work with the Aurors, a kind of…”

My head went slightly fuzzy as Rolf was talking, and I found myself flashing back to the meeting in the little shack when I was under one of George’s TICs, thinking about how the Invisibles are like secret agents, and then I flashed to seeing Rolf at New Year’s Eve, when he left right after Postle, and…

“Potter!  Weasley!  I should have your heads for that!”  Rolf was angry, and his eyes flashed, but just as quickly as he had become angry he returned to his calm, determined demeanor.

“Merlin’s pants, I forgot you’re a legilimens, Rolf.”  Ron looked over to Harry, who sighed.  “Look, we didn’t know George brought him that time, we only found out after you’d left.  He’s known ever since then, and did you or any of your lot ever hear him say one peep or do anything to let it out?  You’re going to have to trust him.  I know Harry and I do.  Hell, he’s Albus’ godfather, for Godric’s sake.”

“If it’ll make you feel better have him do the unbreakable vow later, Rolf.  Ron and I did what you asked, we brought Hank.  So now what?”  Harry looked over at me and then back to Rolf.  “Does Hank need to take further precautions?”

Rolf nodded and tossed some candies at me, which I recognized as George’s Anti-Revelio chews.  “We don’t know how long we’ll be, so eat them all.  That will cover you for about an hour or so.”  Rolf stood up slightly in the tent, as it was low enough that none of us could stand up all the way.  “We’re meeting in Godric’s Hollow, at your parent’s old place, Harry.  Yes, I know.  Cheeky bastard, isn’t he?”

 

-ooo-

 

We arrived in a small alleyway in what I assumed was Godric’s Hollow, because, well, if you’ve seen one alleyway you’ve really seen them all.  After making sure I was completely covered by the invisibility cloak we walked forward for a while until I realized that Harry and Ron had stopped, and I was walking alone with Rolf towards an indistinct, hazy structure.  As I got closer the structure started to become clearer, and I could make out the outline of a half-destroyed, decaying house.  I followed Rolf closely, and he made a special attempt to leave the front gate open, then as if he’d forgotten he went back and shut it.  I stayed in one place until he moved up even with me, and then I fell in behind him as we walked to the back of the house.  The trees and bushes were overgrown, and in the spot where two bushes had grown together there seemed to be a slight opening and I followed Rolf into the small space between the bushes, taking care to not snag the invisibility cloak on the branches.  After stopping I realized that it was as if the bushes had made a small chapel, as the sun came through the vegetation in small gaps, reminding me of how light streams through a stained-glass window. 

For a moment I was afraid that the sunlight would give me away, and I glanced down, desperately hoping that I was out of the sun, but the invisibility cloak was true to its name, as even where I should have cast a shadow there was only sunlight.  I momentarily breathed a sigh of relief, but that was quickly curtailed by the sound of someone approaching the bushes.

“Cynops.  Glad to see you’re on time.”

I couldn’t see the direction the rough voice emanated from, and I didn’t want to turn around and potentially cause an issue, so I stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the branches of the bush directly ahead of me through the gauzy film of the invisibility cloak. 

Rolf’s voice was changed, as it came out with a slightly higher pitch.  “As you requested, Ars Goetia.  Let us to business; I don’t like this place.”

“Scared of its history?  I would think you would be proud to be here.”

“No, not scared.  It is too connected with Potter.”

The rough voice, referred to as Ars Goetia laughed.  “All the more reason to meet here.  One of the last places those blood traitors would ever think of looking.  So, are you ready to buy?”

“Yes, I’ve made the arrangements.”  I heard Rolf moving about, and then the distinctive sound of what had to be a large bag of Galleons.  “I have it here.  You can count it if you’d like, but it’s all there.”

The sound of the Galleons seemed farther away this time, and I guessed that Ars Goetia now held the bag.  Obviously he didn’t trust Rolf fully, as I heard a lot of rustling and clinking of Galleons, but eventually he must have been sufficiently pleased with the money as the sound of Galleons died away.  “Ok, Cynops.  Looks like it’s all there.  I’ve got the deed here, all legal.  Well, as far as the Ministry’s concerned, anyway.  Don’t fear, your Galleons will be put to good use.”

“What news do you have?  I haven’t heard from Flurbin in weeks.  Postle seems to have disappeared as well.”

I heard the distinctive sound of someone spitting, and Ars Goetia’s tone was not pleasant.  “Those fools, as bad as Muggles.  Almost ruined everything.  It took us so long to put everything in place, nobody knew that Hogwarts and the Ministry was helping fund the WLF.  Haddingspot was furious, all the time and money he invested in them and they squandered it.  Don’t worry, Cynops, we won’t waste your money.  Besides, you’ve got a nice little piece of land by Flatcook, now don’t you?

Rolf laughed somewhat evilly.  “Yes, finally after all these years.  I only wish my grandfather was still alive to see it.  Damned Muggles and mudbloods almost ruined everything.  But they’re going to pay, aren’t they?

“Pay?”  Ars Goetia laughed and it sounded as if someone had dropped a bucket down a flight of stairs, it was so unnatural a sound, as far away from the true intent of laughter as possible.  “By Voldemort they’re going to pay, and pay dearly.  You know that Muggle that fancies himself a professor?  The one at Hogwarts?  We’re going to fix his broom, but good.  We’ve got a little surprise for him, someone he ain’t seen in a long time.  Teach him to act like a Wizard.  Haddingspot’s got it all planned out.  Speaking of that, we think it’s time you did more than help fund the WLF.  Time for you to come in all the way.  You’re going to help us out that night, Cynops.  Give you a chance to prove yourself.”

“I am ready and willing to help.  What do you need?”

“Find out where all the little Weasley and Potter brats are going to be the day that Professor Dead Man thinks he’s getting married.  We can use them for…”

I heard scurrying around, and everyone grew silent.  I kept my breathing as silent as possible.  Eventually, though it only lasted for a few seconds, Rolf broke the almost unbearable silence.

“Ars Goetia!  Were you followed?  Who knows you’re here!”

“Put your wand away, Cynops!  Bloody hell, no I wasn’t followed.  It was just a bird, I’m smarter than that.  Nobody knows I’m here, it’s like I told you, a private deal, sold you this bit on the side, just between us.”

“Perfect.”  Rolf’s voice was no longer high-pitched, instead it was his normal voice, but seething with anger.  “ _Petrificus totalis_!”

I heard the body hit the ground, and I turned to see Rolf standing over a very ordinary sized man that was perfectly rigid on the overgrown grass.  I watched Rolf wave his wand several times, and silver cords bound the man from head to foot, and finally the very skin of the man’s face seemed to knit together until his eyes were sealed, his lips were sealed and his ears had grown shut and flat.

“Fuck me!  That’s…”

Rolf turned his wand to my direction.  “Quiet.  I don’t believe he came alone, and if he did he’s even a bigger fool than I thought.  Keep the cloak on, walk out of here and go to the gate.  Open it slightly, and then head back here immediately.  Now.”

I followed Rolf’s directions, and shortly after returning to the bushes I felt something close by, and Ron and Harry slowly materialized next to me.  I looked over to Ron and he was occupied, but Harry caught my eye. 

“Disillusionment.”  He walked over to Rolf.  “So what did we find out?”

Rolf waved off his question.  “Was he alone?”

Ron nodded.  “What a moron.  Yeah, he was alone.  We did sweeps as soon as you two walked through the gate.  Nobody but us.”

Rolf moved his wand, and the incarcerated form of Ars Goetia stood on his feet like a sarcophagus being raised.  After taking a hold of the man’s arm, Rolf nodded and apparated away.

Ron took a look at Harry and shook his head.  “Well, that was productive.  So much for getting the skinny from Rolf.”  He turned to me.  “Looks like you get to tell us a story, Professor.”

 

-ooo-

 

As we arrived from apparating I felt Harry’s hand leave my arm, and it took a few minutes to figure out where we were.  We had to be in London, but no part of London that I’d ever seen.  That wasn’t saying much, though, as I hadn’t played tourist very much, but it still seemed very strange.  After Harry and Ron had stowed their cloaks away into a rucksack and a briefcase that seemed to appear from nowhere we walked down the street, eventually stopping at one of the most pitiful excuses for a convenience store, or what Harry called a cornershop.  The windows were greasy, the floor was dirty and the shelves were half-full, not to mention the man behind the counter, who sat in a grimy undershirt and lazily swatted at flies.  The man behind the counter looked up at Ron and Harry and nodded, then returned to his war against insects.  Still under Harry’s invisibility cloak I followed them until we came to a cooler, which Ron opened up and pulled out a soda.  The moment the soda had been removed from the shelf the cooler began to slide back until a large opening could be seen.  Ron walked though the opening, I followed and then Harry came last, tapping the wall with his wand and the cooler shelf moved back to its former location.

“Hank you can take the cloak off now.”  Harry held out his hand, and I quickly gave him the cloak.  It felt good to be out from under the cloak, even though the air was somewhat close and stifling in the tunnel.  Ron waved his wand and the lights began to come on in regular intervals down the corridor.

“Where are we?”  I looked at Harry, but he smiled and shook his head. 

“You’ll see.  Not much further.”

I followed them down the hallway until eventually we came to a large black door with a bright gold doorknob.  Harry placed his hand on the doorknob, and then stepped away and Ron followed suit.  Ron motioned to me, but stopped.

“Yeah, right, you haven’t been here before.  I guess I’ll do the honors.”  He cleared his throat.  “Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd.  Medium clearance level.”  After saying that he nodded his head towards the door.  “Go on, we’ll be stuck out here forever if you don’t grab the doorknob.”

Not knowing what to expect I did as Ron requested, and as I grabbed the doorknob I felt a small tingle go across my hand, as if someone had placed my hand in very cold water.  “Whoa, is it supposed to do that?”

Harry nodded.  “Just the first time.  After that it’s like a regular Snitch.”  He must have noticed my confused expression, as he continued.  “Flesh memories.  Snitches have flesh memories, so they remember…”

“It’s magic, Hank.” Ron put his hand on the doorknob once again, which gave way and opened inwardly.  “Harry can explain it later.  We’ve got a meeting.”

I followed Ron down another somewhat dark hallway and had just about asked for more light when we entered another room, this one much brighter than the tunnel and it took my eyes some time to adjust.  When I finally stopped blinking and could make out distinct shapes I realized that Kingsley Shacklebolt sat at a table in front of me, along with the older Auror that had accompanied Ron to arrest Flurbin.  What was…Robards, that was it.  I sat down as indicated by Harry, and soon I was telling all of them what I’d overheard while under the invisibility cloak.  They discussed it for a long time, and finally Kingsley looked to me. 

“Professor, what are your thoughts?”

I took a deep breath.  “Well, based on my research with Draco Malfoy, I’d say that there’s some sort of scam selling land to people who had property confiscated during World War 2.  Since they’ve probably got a grudge against Muggles, like Postle and Lucius Malfoy, they’re sympathetic to the WLF.  Some of them probably just want their land back and have no idea that the money’s going to fund the WLF.  The reason that they’re getting the land so cheap is that they’re messing with Muggles’ minds so they have no idea they ever sold the land or even owned it, so if you get something for nothing it doesn’t matter if you’re selling it at a steep discount, you’re still making money.  I don’t know how exactly the Ministry and Hogwarts was funding the WLF, unless you count Postle and Flurbin using their influence and positions to make things go smoother for the WLF and using their names for the official transactions.  But that’s all great and shit, but what about what Ars Goathead or whatever his name was said about kidnapping someone, killing me and going after all of the kids?

Robards leaned over the table and looked me directly in the eye.  “Not going to happen.  All the little ones will be with Mrs. Tonks and a team of Aurors.  We’ve got everyone in your family under watch, and I mean everyone.  You’ve got a fourth cousin by marriage twice removed that’s a real piece of work, you know that?  I had to switch Aurors as Whitney Drumble can only stand going into what are called ‘strip joints’ so many times.”

“My fourth cousin?  I don’t even know who that is.”  I took off my glasses and flopped them on the table carelessly.  “Ok, I get it, you’re on it.  Cut me some slack, I end standing next to Rolf in the bushes when the WLF idiot arrived, Rolf wiped out the guy and then makes everything seal up on the guy’s head but his nostrils and then disapparates before answering any questions.  I got you what you wanted, right?”

“Yes, Professor, you did.  We appreciate your cooperation very much.”  Kingsley looked over to me, and then leaned back in his chair.  “I think we might have to make some additional changes to the schedule.  Nothing about the ceremony, don’t worry.  I know you’ve endured enough planning by now.  Gawain and I will take it from here.  Harry, why don’t you go ahead and head back with Professor Boyd.  Ron, I think we need you for a while longer.”

I said goodbye to everyone and then followed Harry to his office, once again under the invisibility cloak.  As soon as we closed the door, Harry took the cloak back from me, handed me the Floo powder, and before we knew it we were back at Grimmauld Place.  I looked to Harry but he shook his head, crushing my hopes of getting some real answers.

“Later tonight, Hank.  I’ll explain everything later.”

 

-ooo-

 

We returned to the kitchen, where a conference of sorts was in process; Ginny and Melody sat on either side of Lavinia, and they were writing things down on a notebook.  Well, Lavinia was, and I was surprised to see her using one of my Muggle ink pens instead of a quill.

“I see you’ve discovered the practicality of ink pens, Lavinia.”

Harry and I sat down on the opposite side of the table, and Lavinia smiled.  “Yes, Professor, I like it.  Doesn’t seem right when I’m at school, but it works great for now.”

Ginny looked over at Harry and smiled.  “I think I’ve, well, we’ve come up with a solution to our problem.”

“Problem?”  Harry looked confused.  “What problem?”

“The nanny problem, of course.”  Ginny smiled broadly.

“I’m going to be a part-time nanny for James and Albus!”  Lavinia looked at me, obviously ecstatic about the situation.  “Just in the mornings, Melody’s going to bring me over and take me back after lunch.  I’m going to go see how the boys are doing.”

As I watched Lavinia head upstairs I felt happy for her.  I looked over to Melody, who seemed very happy.  “So what brought this on?”

“Lavinia was talking about how she wished she would have had a brother or sister, and that led into a conversation about how she didn’t like being taught by her mother before she went to Hogwarts because there weren’t any other kids.  From there things just kind of ballooned, and now she’s convinced that she needs to open an early-education school for Wizarding kids, and maybe a primary school.  She was really excited, and that’s when Ginny said she could be the boys’ nanny in the mornings.”

Ginny took over from there.  “Not on the weekends, and we’ll pay her for it.  Harry, you know _The Prophet_ wants me to start writing about Quidditch; this could give me the time to write.  My writing would more than pay for Lavinia…”

“Enough.”  Harry leaned back.  “I know when I’m beaten.  As long as her security is taken care of, I don’t have a problem with it.”  He looked over to me.  “Sounds like you’d better go along with it, Hank, unless you want a house full of angry women.”

“Hell no!  Sounds good to me.  I think she might be on to something about early education and primary schools.  I’ll see if I can get some textbooks sent over or pick some up when…”

“When what, Hank?”  Melody smiled at me.

“Never you mind.”

 

-ooo-

 

The rest of the weekend went well, as Lavinia was really happy about being able to take care of the Potter boys.  This time she stayed in the bedroom closest to the nursery, and surprised everyone by waking up during the night when one of the boys needed something until finally Ginny had to tell her that she was only allowed to take care of them during the day, that she needed her sleep. 

The plans changed somewhat for Lavinia’s nanny duty as Melody thought it would be a good opportunity for her to write as well.  In the end it turned into a schedule where Lavinia and Melody would arrive at Grimmauld in the mornings, Lavinia would take care of the boys and Melody and Ginny would use the time to write for their respective publications.  That also meant that I had my mornings free, so I planned on using the time to work on George’s book and maybe start another book of my own.  I thought about writing a book for Muggle publication, but I was afraid that the potential publicity would create issues about my involvement in the Wizarding world.  Then again, with all of the books being published it was highly unlikely that anything I wrote would be that successful in the Muggle world, so I resigned myself to being a “failed author” to my Stintborough neighbors.

The next two weeks went smoothly, with the exception of the usual Churchill and Flick spats, as Lavinia and Melody left for Grimmauld in the mornings and I completed some writing; for the most part I enjoyed sleeping late, lying around the house and listening to music.  I traded owls with Ian Coswock, and as I had expected he was more than thrilled with the adoption of my Muggle Studies textbook at Hogwarts and had added three additional stops to my honeymoon itinerary.  Luckily for me the stops were great honeymoon locations; after all, if I couldn’t find something for Melody and I to do in Penobscot County, Maine, New Orleans and Salem, Oregon, I had a real problem with being romantic.

Most importantly I went shopping for Melody’s birthday present one morning.  I took a chance on going to Fiona’s Filigree alone, but I figured that I had Auror shadows, so I wasn’t too concerned.  Instead I took a lot of time trying to figure out what to get, and after making a trip to Gringott’s and talking with Bill Weasley I had enough gold to buy what I wanted.  Actually, it wasn’t just one birthday present it was two birthday presents, as I had found out while looking through some paperwork from the Ministry that Lavinia’s birthday was the 27th of July, something she’d never told us or I had forgotten to ask.  I considered myself a horrible guardian, so I made up for it.  Melody’s present wasn’t enchanted, but it was Goblin made, so it did cost me a pretty penny, or Galleon, but after talking with Bill I realized I could actually afford it.  I picked up a silver locket similar to the one I’d noticed Astoria Malfoy wearing to give to Lavinia, and I figured I’d leave the picture spots blank for her to fill in.

Besides that the evenings were filled with visits from Neville and Hannah, when she could get away from the Leaky, and Neville usually joined us for supper.  Melody was still working on improving her cooking skills, and I had to say that she was really improving, though sometimes she slipped and used magic when cooking.  It did make things go easier, so I didn’t mind the “no magic” rule being bent. 

It was the morning of the 26th, just after Lavinia and Melody left for Grimmauld when the placid routine of Colony House changed.  I had just fixed a cup of tea and sat down in front of my laptop when I heard a knock on the door.  Neville was due over after lunch to talk about, well, nothing really, but this was too early for him.  I opened the door and almost dropped my teacup.  There in front of me stood Lavender Brown and…my family.


	21. Adjustments and Surprises

**Chapter 21: Adjustments and Surprises**

 

Lavender Brown looked at me with a disposition charitably referred to as somewhat irritable.  “Aren’t you going to invite me in, Hank?”

“I thought you got attacked by a werewolf, not a vampire.  If I don’t invite you do you have to stay outside?”

“Ha ha.  Funny.  Come on, we’re security risks out here.”

I opened the door wide and Lavender and my family walked inside, and I greeted everyone in turn at the door.  Mom caused the traffic jam, of course, as she had to stop for a hug, only letting me go after Dad poked her in the butt.  Eventually everyone was inside the house, and I stood in my doorway and looked at all of them; how the hell was I going to work this out?  I closed the door and made my way into the living room, where my parents, Ted and Candice, John and Jennifer, Nate and Lavender sat in various stages of comfort. 

“I’m glad you’re here, but, um, I thought you were supposed to get here on the 7th.”  I took off my glasses and put them in the pocket of my robe.  “What gives?”

“Part of the security changes.  The Ministry wanted to make sure everybody made it over here without incident.”  Lavender pushed her hair back over her shoulder.  “So here we are.  Where’s Melody?”

“She’s at Grimmauld Place with Lavinia.  They’ll be back after lunch.  I guess I should make some tea and coffee, huh?”

Over tea and coffee in the cramped kitchen I discovered that while the Ministry had arranged for everybody to arrive at my house, thankfully they weren’t all going to be staying at Colony House.  Nate was staying with Lavender, no surprise there, and my parents were staying at The Burrow, but everybody else was staying with me until we heard from Titus that everything was ready at Hogwarts.

“Ok, not that I mind, even though I’ll probably have to do a load of towels, how are we going to fit everyone in here?  The spare room is Lavinia’s room now, and I’m not making her sleep somewhere else and…”

Lavender held up her hand.  “Enough, Hank.  We’ve got that figured out as well.  Just Floo Arthur Weasley.”  She looked over to Nate.  “Ok, you ready?”

He nodded, and after telling me he’d see me later Nate and Lavender left and apparated away.  I sat down in the chair recently vacated by Nate and looked at my Dad.  “One problem.  I can’t Floo Arthur, I can’t use the Floo like that.  Calliope’s not home, she’s out delivering a letter, so I guess we’ll have to wait for a while.”

Jennifer looked at me as if I was crazy.  “Just call him, Hank.  Seriously.  You forget how to use a phone?”

“They don’t use phones, Jen.”

“Well you’re a crappy wizard, Hank.” 

“Very true, Jen, very true.  I don’t have anything that can…wait, yes, I do.  I do have a way to get a hold of Arthur.”  I stood up and cleared my throat.  “Nonky?  Can you stop by for a moment?”

Before I could prepare my family for what was coming Nonky arrived with his usual apparition pop, causing my Mom to scream in surprise, startling Nonky and making him bump into a lamp, almost knocking it over. 

“Professor Muggle needs Nonky?”

“Yes, I do.  Before that, this is my family, Nonky.”  I introduced him to everyone, and after the initial shock everyone except my mother seemed ok with him.  “Nonky, I don’t like asking you to do this, but can you tell Arthur Weasley that I’d like to speak with him when he’s available?”

Nonky nodded his large head and apparated away before saying a word. 

“What the hell was that?”  Candice looked over at me.  “Nonky…I guess who is that is more, um…”

“He’s a house elf.  I just found out that he works for me, sort of.  Melody figured it out, actually.”

Ted laughed.  “Well, that would explain why he was wearing a Hüsker Dü t-shirt, then.”

 

-ooo-

 

About an hour later Arthur Weasley showed up at the house, and after another round of tea and small talk, especially with my parents, he looked over to me and I could tell he had been waiting for this conversation for a while.  “So, Hank, ready to get started?  It’s been a while, but I think my skills are still up to it.”

“Get started?  What are you talking about Arthur?”  _His skills were still up to it?  What did I get myself into?  And with Melody not here…this could be very, very bad._

“Adding on to your house, of course.  I’ve always been a fan of vertical expansion, but you’ve got enough room to do regular expansions.  Less privacy that way, of course, not to mention it makes it easier for the kids to sneak out, but…”

“Whoa, Arthur!  Adding on to the house?  How am I going to pay for that?  Well, I can, I guess, how much is it?”

“Cheaper than you would think.  It’s the furniture that’s expensive.  Besides, I’ve convinced Kingsley that it’s part of the security requirements for you and your family, so you’ll only be paying half of the costs.  I’m thinking two more bedrooms, out towards the garden.  The workmen are due over later this afternoon, so let’s take a walk around, start laying things out.”

Jennifer tapped me on the shoulder.  “I liked the big tent in a little tent, but it wasn’t a permanent thing.  Just go with it, Hank.  I talked the AAB into a bigger kitchen; maybe you should do the same.”

I was watching my mother do what she loves to do best, bake for her family, when I heard the familiar sounds of the Floo.  I wondered what Melody’s reaction would be, but before I could get up to say anything I heard Melody making her way into the kitchen.

“Smells great, Hank, what…Karen?”

I took a drink of tea.  “Hi love, guess what?  The Ministry brought my family over early for security reasons and Arthur Weasley and a Wizarding carpenter are adding two bedrooms to the house.  How was your morning?”

I watched her stand there, mouth open in shock.  Luckily Mom came to my rescue by walking over with a plate of warm scones and stuck one in Melody’s mouth on her way to the table.  That made me laugh, and after Melody finished chewing she sat down at the table. 

“Those are wonderful, Karen.  It is nice to see you, and everybody, a little unexpected, but nice.  So run all that by me again, Hank.  What’s going on?”

I filled in Melody about the appearance of my family, that Nate was at Lavender’s, that I’d had to call Nonky to get Arthur Weasley to come over, and that we were only paying for part of the expansion to the house.  Lavinia came into the kitchen carrying Flick, and after that my mother’s attention was devoted to Lavinia and her new cat.  Not surprisingly Dad followed his nose into the kitchen, and eventually everyone was crammed in there eating scones.

I looked across the crowded table to Mom.  “Maybe I should ask Arthur if we could expand the kitchen.  Gets a bit crowded in here.”

“Especially if you have all those babies.”  Lavinia nodded and smiled at Melody.

I caught my Mom’s expression after Lavinia’s comment.  “She thinks we should have four or five.”

“I’ll be a really good nanny by then.  Well, if you have them soon.”  Lavinia acted as if we were discussing something in Muggle Club, her demeanor was very matter-of-fact.  “If you have one a year after you’re married, I can help take care of four of them before I finish Hogwarts.”

“We’re not even married yet.  Ted, you and Candice are married, what about you two?”  I watched Candice’s face fall slightly, and she got up and left the room, with Ted following right behind.  I looked over to Jennifer.  “Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head and spoke very softly.  “You couldn’t have known.  Candice had a miscarriage a couple of months ago.  It was very early, but they’ve been taking it hard.”

“Shit.  I wish I would have known.”  I knew it was a touchy subject because nobody chided me about my language.  I looked over to Lavinia, and she seemed nervous.  “Lavinia there’s no way you could have known.  Don’t worry.  It’ll be fine.”

 

-ooo-

 

Luckily I didn’t have to broach the topic of the larger kitchen as Arthur walked in for a cup of tea, took one look around and announced that the kitchen just wouldn’t work.  That led to Arthur and Mom discussing where things should be moved or expanded, and Arthur drew glowing lines with his wand to mark possible locations of things.  Luckily the kitchen faced out towards the garden, so it wouldn’t take too much work to expand it.  On the plus side, I’d have a bigger kitchen and two new bedrooms, but on the downside I was losing garden space and it would be really hectic while the changes were made to the house.

“How long is all this going to take, Arthur?”  I stood next to him, looking out the window at the garden.  “I mean, if it takes too long that kind of screws up the whole security thing, right?  I haven’t heard from Titus yet about Hogwarts.”

“I don’t know about Muggle construction, Hank, but everything should be ready in a day or so.  Everyone can stay at The Burrow until we’re finished.  Molly and I were expecting your parents anyway, so what’s a few more for a couple of days?”

 

-ooo-

 

Lavinia’s thirteenth birthday party the next night was a big success, in my opinion.  Mom and Molly, with help from Melody and Jennifer, baked an amazing birthday cake shaped like the Hufflepuff badger.  Presents arrived from Tinney and the Potters, and I noticed a very small box arrived but Lavinia wouldn’t say who it was from, but Melody and I looked at each other and smiled.  I figured that Willy Smythe wouldn’t forget her birthday, and I was right.  All of the presents were called “brilliant” or “wonderful” or “amazing” and she really loved the locket from Melody and me.  I was very happy to find out that my family had also brought over presents; I found out later that Melody had written my mom and it had grown from there.  Even though the presents were technically for Flick, Lavinia loved them as she just knew that Flick would love his new bed and collar.  Jennifer and John gave her a photo album, which I thought was a very nice touch.  Other presents arrived from her Hogwarts friends, and I noticed a card from Angus Wandsworth somewhere in the birthday debris.  Harry and Ginny came over with the boys, and Lavinia was very conscientious about the boys with Candice.  I know I wasn’t the only one surprised when Lavinia and Candice sat on the couch with Albus.

The two days of construction turned into three due to a massive pixie infestation underneath part of the garden, but besides that it was a nice, relaxing time away from the house.  Mom was impressed with the progress of Melody’s cooking skills, and Molly was a very proud instructor.  Ted and Candice seemed to return to their normal selves, but I did notice that Lavinia didn’t bring up her nannying much in their presence.  Nothing could keep her away from the Potter boys, so while Melody took the few days off from going to Grimmauld, Lavinia convinced us that she was thirteen and therefore old enough to take the Floo from The Burrow to Grimmauld by herself. 

After watching Melody take the Floo to Colony House to check on the progress, what really surprised me was how much Jennifer and John enjoyed being in the Wizarding world.  I guessed that having Lavender over and gaining some magically expanded and created room additions to the house helped sway Jennifer’s opinion.  Jennifer did miss her kids, but John told her that his parents had been offering to take them so they could have a vacation for a long time.  She finally seemed relaxed for the first time…well, since she’d had kids. 

The morning of the 29th Arthur came in after breakfast and announced that the changes to Colony House were complete, so that led to the Floo Tag Team event, as Melody called it.  One of the Wizarding folk would grab one of the Muggles to use the Floo, and eventually everybody got to the location.  I did notice that Lavinia made sure she took Candice.  After they had left I looked over to Molly, who stood with my Dad.

“I can’t believe her, I mean, she’s been through so much, and look at her.  She’s…”

“I know, son.  I’m very surprised at the progress she’s made.  I think that says a lot about you and Melody.”  Dad sighed.  “I can’t have been easy, but she’s so good-hearted.”

Molly took a hold of my dad’s arm and led him to the fireplace.  “She’s a Hufflepuff, Tom.  I’ll explain it later.”

With a flash they were gone, leaving me alone in The Burrow.  I looked around, decided there was no time like the present to go look at Colony House, and with a pinch of Floo powder I was gone.

When I arrived at the Colony House, well, let’s just say I was very surprised.  Melody came over and took my hand.

“Sweetie, I might have made a few more, um, adjustments.”

I looked around the house and saw a combination of dollar signs, pound notes and Galleons float by, as she had definitely made adjustments.  It was as if the entire house, well, doubled.  I not only had the two extra bedrooms and a larger kitchen, I now had a sunroom off of the kitchen and a door by the side of my office that I had never seen before.

“Um, how much did this…”

“The addition is my present to you and Gwennie, Henry.”  Lane Bramble stepped out from behind Arthur Weasley.  “I was planning on doing it while you were on your honeymoon, but plans changed.”

 _Holy freaking hell.  I was definitely not expecting to see Lane, but as usual she looked like a million Galleons_.  “Wow, I don’t know how to thank you, I…”  Not knowing what else to do I walked over and hugged her.  It was initially like hugging a mannequin, but eventually she patted me two times on my shoulder. 

Arthur stepped up to me, rubbing his hands, his excitement easily read.  “Want to see the good stuff?”  We all followed Arthur around the house, and it was obvious how much he was enjoying everything.  “We could only go out so far or else we’d have used up your garden, and if we went up vertically your neighbors would notice, so we did the next best thing.  Mrs. Bramble stopped by and solved all the problems.”  He walked over to the door next to my office.  “We went down.”

As Arthur indicated I opened the door, and as soon as I did a series of lights began to glow in the stairway.  After a small flight of stairs I found myself in a completely finished basement.  I caught myself looking out the window before realizing that I was underground.  “Arthur, is this like the Hufflepuff common room?”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that, but one of the builders said it’s the latest thing.  Brilliant idea, actually.”

I walked around to find an additional bedroom, another office, a giant walk-in closet already partially filled with Melody’s clothes and a giant living room with a massive television.  “How did you…Arthur, there’s Muggle and Wizarding stuff all mixed together in here.  How…”

“Might have told some Muggle Ekletricians that it was a special job, after we had everything put together, of course.” 

Arthur seemed to have gulped a few times, and I gathered that a rule or two on working with Muggles might have been broken, but I wasn’t going to ask.  I had a whole other floor under my house!  More importantly, every room was furnished!

 

-ooo-

 

I was glad I had the shock of the completely finished basement to occupy my mind because the other fact was that my parents were meeting Lane Bramble.  I was still on the high of having three new bedrooms and a complete downstairs when I made my way back up to the living room, and then into my newly expanded kitchen to find Mom and Lane sitting at the table, drinking tea with all of the other ladies.  I took one look in there and ducked out towards the garden, where I found all of the men who were busy looking at what seemed to be nothing. 

I walked over and stood next to them, as they were all completely quiet and looking at the far spot on my garden, yard, whatever you wanted to call it.  I couldn’t figure out what was so interesting, because there was absolutely nothing in the spot where everyone was focused.  Finally I couldn’t take it any longer.

“What are we looking at?” 

Dad pointed to the spot where everyone had focused their attention.  “Arthur and I believe that is the perfect spot for your shed.  Ted believes the best spot is on the other side, by the tree.”

I looked at both locations and nodded.  “John, what do you think?”

“I think you should put a shed wherever you want, just make it someplace women won’t want to go, otherwise you won’t have a place of your own.  Trust me.”

That sentiment was heartily echoed by all of the men, including Ted, which gained him a bit of teasing since he’d only been married a year.  Ted’s response was that he and Candice had been together for a long, long time, so marriage was just the official term; according to him he’d been married for years.

After that there was a lull in the conversation, and we continued to stare at the prospective shed locations. 

“You know Ted, you might have something.  The tree might help block the view.”  Arthur conceded, and additional contemplation went on for some time.

I wished I had a pipe, but I didn’t want to go back inside.  “Hey Dad, do you think I should head in there and see how it’s going?”

I was drowned out by a chorus of no’s by all in attendance, so we went back to our shed location contemplation. 

John sniffed.  “You know, I do like the tree site, but I think the ground is a little more level on the other side.”

The slam of the back door made everybody jump, and I can only speak for myself but I was happy when I saw Lavinia walk out to join us.  After explaining what we were doing, she looked at me as if I was insane. 

“You boys have been out here for that long just looking at grass?  Boring.  It’s a lot more fun in there.”

 _A lot more fun?  Uh-oh._   “What do you mean, Lavinia?”

“Well, Melody’s Mum and your Mum didn’t seem to get along very well, since they disagreed about pretty much everything except that Melody’s Mum…”

“Lane.”  I interrupted for the sake of keeping Mum and Mom straight.  “Her name’s Lane.”

“Right.”  Lavinia kept on going, full speed ahead.  “Well, at first Lane made some comments that she thought that you were after Melody’s money and her inheritance but since you’ve published your book and haven’t been sacked at Hogwarts she figured out you really do love Melody, and Karen said that you would never do that, because Nate’s the one who likes the fancy stuff, well you do like it but you don’t spend money on yourself.  And then Lane said that you’re a lot better than Melody’s first husband and her other boyfriends, and Karen said something like your last girlfriend was, well, I shouldn’t say that word, but she didn’t like her at all.  After that they got along pretty good, especially when I suggested that you should start having babies right away, and Lane said that she wasn’t getting any younger and Karen said that she would love a couple more grandchildren and then Molly talked about all of her new grandbabies, and then Jennifer had to take Melody out of the room for a few minutes so I came out here.  Much more fun than talking about a shed.  Oh and Lane calls Melody a different name, Gwennie, that’s it.”

“Fucking hell!  Sorry, Lavinia.”  I turned to Dad, and then to Arthur.  “I think we can put the shed anyplace and it’ll be fine, but let’s stay out here a little longer.”

We did stay out there until I noticed Jennifer stick her head out the door and motioned for me to get inside, and I had a flashback of her doing the exact same thing when Nate and I were kids.  I walked in and poured myself a glass of water, then watched as it appeared that Lane and Mom were actually chatting and getting along.  _Holy crap_.  I snuck a glance at Molly, and she smiled and nodded almost imperceptibly, but enough for me to realize she understood my amazement. 

As I sat down in the living room next to Melody, Lane looked over at me with her head cocked to the side.  “You know, Henry, I was quite upset about not hosting the wedding, but after speaking with your mother and Molly, I’m glad Hogwarts is hosting, especially with the notoriety you’ve gained amongst the less tolerant.  Hieronymus would have been so happy to see you two.  I only wish he could be here.”  She looked at her watch, then stood up and smoothed out her impeccably straight hair.  “I’m sorry but I must be going.  I have an appointment which I’ve rescheduled twice already.  Karen, I do hope you will stop by before the wedding, and Molly, thank you for understanding.  I apologize for all of the ill-feeling.  Now, I really must go, I will see all of you again very soon.  Gwennie, a moment?”

I watched Melody follow Lane towards the door, and then after kissing Melody on both cheeks Lane walked out the door and apparated away.  The temperature in the room seemed to go down about twenty degrees after that, and I felt like I could exhale finally.  The biggest shock, though, was on Molly’s face.

“What happened, Molly?” 

“She apologized, Hank.  For Diagon Alley, years ago.  I understand now, as it was right after Hieronymus died and everything was so tense back then.”

 _Lane apologized?_   I looked over to Melody, who seemed dazed.  “Mel, what the hell happened to your mom?  Was she imperiused or something?”

Melody came over and sat on my lap.  “No.  I don’t know what changed her tune, I really don’t.  Glad it’s changed, mind you, but no idea.”

 

-ooo-

 

Mom and Dad decided to stay at The Burrow, and John and Jennifer chose to follow suit, so it was just Ted and Candice at Colony House.  The evening had wound down, thankfully, and I had made popcorn for movie night when I heard a knock on the door.  Since it was late, and I wasn’t expecting anybody I grabbed my wand, then stuck it in my pocket and headed towards the door.  After all, if someone was coming to kill me late at night, they’re not going to walk up and knock on the door, are they?  I opened the door and had another surprise.

“Tinney!  Didn’t expect you for a couple of days.  At least we’ve got room now, come on in.”

After Tinney and Lavinia hugged and squealed for a bit I made the introductions to Ted and Candice and then moved Tinney’s bag off to the side.  I’d just gone into the kitchen for another bowl so Tinney could have popcorn when I heard another knock at the door, but this time I recognized that knock.  I’d heard it several times last year at Hogwarts, so I didn’t bother to even get my wand out this time.  I opened the door wide.

“Perfect timing, George.  Popcorn and movies.”

George smiled at me.  “Wonderful, Hank.  No time.  Here to drop off something for you.”  George stepped out of the doorway and there was Mike Greene.

“Greene.  You’re hair’s going grey.”

“Hey Boyd, at least I have some.”

I gave him a big hug and then we headed back into the house.  George, however, didn’t follow.

“No time, Hank.  Ang gave me strict orders, and this time if the pizza’s cold, well, at least I know you have an extra room now.”

“Thanks.  See ya, George.”  I turned to Mike.  “You are not going to believe half of the shit I have to tell you.”

I introduced Mike to Tinney and Lavinia, but when it came to Melody he gave her a big kiss on the cheek.  Ted and Candice blew him away, as the last time he had seen them we had just been out of college a few years and they were around Lavinia’s age.  Everyone chatted for a while, but eventually Ted and Candice headed to sleep in the new downstairs bedroom, Lavinia and Tinney retired to Lavinia’s room, and Melody lay on the sofa with her feet on my lap and Mike sat in one of the new, big chairs.  After a while I decided we need some wine, so I brought over a couple bottles and three glasses.  It was after the first bottle was almost gone and the initial get-to-know you-phase was out of the way that the real stories began.

I knew Mike’s entire story, but hearing it again when he told it to Melody was still somewhat painful.  He and Cori had been married a couple of years and were living in Minnesota when she was killed in a car accident during the winter.  Nobody’s fault, just a combination of weather and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  That had been a horrible funeral to attend, and I had to go as I was a pallbearer and I needed to be there for Mike..  Cori was the first person I’d met at college, and I’d lost touch with her for a year or so until Mike moved in as my roommate and I found out they were dating right after that.  Small world.  We all ended up in a gang of “arts geeks” to some extent, Cori was the Art major, Mike was the Drama major and I was the Literature major.  As Mike unwound his story for Melody, and the bottle got lower, I knew what was coming so I figured I’d head him off at the pass.

“Guess what women they always tried to set me up with, Mel.”  I looked over and she shook her head and I realized the humor would be lost on her.  “Sorry, Muggle stuff.  Guess it’s not so funny here, Mike.”

“Vocal and Dance majors, it’s still funny.  We needed to complete the Arts.”  Mike ran his hand through his shoulder length grey hair and then tipped his glass towards Melody.  “I hear you’re a writer.  Figures he’d be attracted to another writer.”

“Actually, I was Press Secretary for the Holyhead Harpies when we met.  Damned good at it, too.”  She finished her glass of wine and held it out for a refill. 

“Quidditch team.”  I filled Melody’s glass a quarter full.  “It’s a Wizarding sport, I’ll explain later.  Oh yeah, didn’t get a chance to write, or maybe I did, can’t remember.  You’ve got a date to the wedding.”

“The little blonde?  Not the little little one, the older one?”  Mike looked at me and squinted.  “You know blondes and I don’t mix.”

I laughed.  “Yeah, I remember that.  She was crazy, had some great, um, yeah.  No, Tinney is Lavinia’s aunt, and I’m pretty sure she’s kinda sorta seeing someone.  No, your date is Hermione Weasley’s assistant at the Ministry.  Ovelia or Olivia or something.”

“Is she cute?  Wait, I really don’t care about that, is she decent company?”

“No clue.  Never met her.”

“Wonderful.  Junior year all over again.”

“Shut up.  Cori dumped you for a month and you wanted a date.  That wasn’t my fault.”

Melody stood up.  “Boys, I’m calling it a night.  It’s been a long day, I had to deal with Mum, and everybody’s shown up…I’ll see you in the morning.”

I gave her a kiss and she walked out of the room, snagging the last bottle of wine on the way out.

Mike looked at me and shook his head.  “Still can’t believe you’re getting married.  After Janine I never thought you would, but she seems like a perfect fit for you.”

“Yeah, that’s what Mom says too.  I think so.  Plus, there’s the whole witch thing.  Trust me, that rocks.  Hey Mike, feel like a little whiskey?  How about some firewhiskey?”

“Firewhiskey?  Sure.  You still smoke?”

I laughed.  “I’m not supposed to.”

“That didn’t answer my question.  I’ve got a carton in my bag.  You get the booze and I’ll get the butts.”

A few minutes later we sat on chairs out in the garden, and after the first drink Mike coughed for a moment then started laughing.  “Good stuff.  Hey, you got a lighter?  I thought I was going through airport security so I left them all at home.  That was the weirdest trip I’ve ever had, by the way.”

“Hmm…lighter’s inside, let me see if I can get this to work.”  I pulled out my wand, and thought about the day, all of the good things that happened, then waved my wand about for a moment or two.  Sure enough, a small fire sprouted from the end for a few minutes, longer than it ever had before.

Mike lit his cigarette from the end of my wand.  “Hank, you really are full of surprises.”

“You think that’s surprising, fill up your glass and sit back.  This is going to take a while.”

 

-ooo-

 

As I watched the sun come up over the trees, I looked over at Mike.  “We haven’t done that in ages.  I’m just glad we ran out of firewhiskey hours ago, or else Mel would have her knickers in a twist.”

“Knickers?  You’re so acclimatized now, even the language.  No accent, which is good.  You’d be a complete faker if you did that.”  He stopped suddenly and looked over my head.  “Hank, I think you’re about to get attacked by a big bird.”

I turned to see an owl heading my way and laughed.  “Nah, it’s just the mail.”  The owl landed on the arm of my chair and held out its leg, and after taking the letter I watched it wait for a moment, and then after realizing there were no treats to be had it lifted off with a flourish.  “School owl, at least this one didn’t bite me.”

The letter was from Titus, who had been informed by the Auror office that all of the guests had arrived early by design, so we had been officially invited to arrive at Hogwarts for our stay as all the precautions were completed.  Gavin said that he’d relax the Floo restrictions at two that afternoon, so we would have to make sure everybody arrived at that time.  I watched Mike take a look at the bottle and laughed.

“If you took a drink every time you saw something weird, well, I don’t think you’d sober up for a month.  Just go with it.”

“Screw the booze.  Got any coffee?”

We made our way in to the newly expanded kitchen, and it took me a few moments to find the French press and the coffee.  Luckily for me the tea was front and center, so after I put on the kettle we sat down at the kitchen table.  “Don’t know if I told you or not, but we’re all going to be staying at Hogwarts.”

“Yeah, you said that last night.  I think.  Can’t you make the kettle go faster, Mister Wizard?”

“Like I said, I’m about as much a Wizard as you are singer.  I can’t do crap, the lighter trick is about my limit.  Melody can, though, but I’m not waking her up.”

“So how are we getting all the luggage to your school?  You’ve just got that crappy little car…”

“Hey, it’s not crappy.  Oh wait, did I tell you what Nate did?  For the honeymoon?  Hold on, I gotta show you this.” 

I went to my office and began looking through my desk, and of course I couldn’t find where I had put the picture of the Jaguar.  I did find a copy of _My Wand is Useless_ , so I wrote something quickly in the front of that and headed out to the kitchen.  Mike wasn’t alone when I got there, though, as Lavinia and Tinney were making tea and coffee.

“Morning, ladies.  Sleep ok?”  I handed Mike the book went over to the stove.  “Girls you don’t have to do that, you know, I can take care of it.”

Tinney waved me off.  “No big.  Used to doing things myself.  So, Professor Muggle, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Muggle?”  Mike laughed.  “Right, you said that last night.  So I’m a Muggle too, right?”

“Yep.  Definitely.  You’ll get a better idea from my book.  Here, try this.”  I handed him my wand.  “Wave it around like you mean it.”

Mike did as I asked, and absolutely nothing happened.  Well, he did make Lavinia laugh. 

He extended my wand towards Lavinia.  “So you’re a witch too, right?  Show me what you can do.”

She shook her head and I explained that Lavinia can’t do magic outside of Hogwarts until she’s 17, the equivalent of getting your driver’s license in America.  Mike thought this was stupid, and we were having a discussion on whether students would be allowed to use magic at the wedding because they would technically be at school when Melody walked into the kitchen in her robe, sat down at the table, levitated a teacup over to the table with her wand and fixed her tea.  I watched Mike stare at her and realized that even though he’d travelled with George, he hadn’t really seen any magic yet, just odd things.

“Wait till we get to Hogwarts, Mike.  You’ll really get an education.”

“Hank, how are we getting all the luggage there?  You never answered that question.”  Mike sat on the couch, desperately trying to find a baseball game on the television.  “It’s almost time, isn’t it?”

I nodded.  Everyone had waken up, dressed, showered and eaten, I’d been scolded by Melody for smoking and staying up all night,  the owls had been sent out and the Floo conversations had taken place, so all that was left was to head to Hogwarts.  “I know how it’s going to work, but I really don’t know how to explain him.”  I looked over to Lavinia.  “How do I explain a house elf?”

Lavinia rolled her eyes.  “You should have taken History of Magic.”

“Ok, ok, I’ll read that later.  Mike, think of the elves at Santa’s workshop, not the one that wants to be a dentist, kind of like that crossed with Gollum but without the nasty parts.”

Ted laughed at me.  “Sorta.  Trust me; you have to meet him to understand.  Oh, and you’ll be able to figure out he works for Hank two seconds after you meet him.”

“Hey, he likes the t-shirt.”  I looked over to Mel, who rolled her eyes.  “Well he told me he likes the t-shirt.”

“Of course he’s going to tell you that, Henry, he’s a house elf.”  Melody shook her head.  “Honestly.”

Mike glanced over to me.  “Henry?”

“Shut up, Emory.”

“Low, man.  That’s low.”  Mike stood up and walked over to Melody.  “My full name is Emory Michael, and he does that to piss me off.  I have some good stories for you…”

That was enough for me.  “Nonky?  Can you…”

As usual, I never even had to finish the sentence, as Nonky stood in my living room in his Hüsker Dü t-shirt.  “Yes, Professor, what can Nonky do to help?”

“We need to have all of the luggage taken over to Hogwarts.  I don’t know where…”

“Headmaster Titus told Nonky the arrangements, Nonky will take care of it, Professor Muggle’s friends will be fine.  Let Nonky do it.”

With that he somehow managed to levitate and bring all of the luggage over to a spot on the floor, and all of the bags began to swirl together until they morphed into something the size of a football, and then without saying a word Nonky disapparated with a POP.

I looked over to Mike.  “Well, what do you think?”

He ran a hand through his hair.  “I would have gone with the classic bulls eye Jam t-shirt, but that’s just me.  New Day Rising, seriously?”


	22. I Need Some of Your Hair

**Chapter 22:  I Need Some of Your Hair**

 

We all arrived in Titus’ office, and since I was the last one to arrive the welcomes and introductions were already in process.  Neville was there as well, and he was very helpful in explaining things to my family and Mike.  I had written Mom about Neville, and she was visiting with him about something that was making him look embarrassed, so I glanced away to see a portrait smiling at me.  After everything that had happened I was very glad to see her in her portrait, so I excused myself and made my way over to her.

“Minerva, I don’t know how I can ever repay you for your kindness.  How come you didn’t tell me about all the things you did for me last year?”

She smiled in her portrait and petted her cat.  “I thought it was best to not overwhelm you all at once.  Albus and I had a talk before you took your position, and I thought I would do what I could to make your transition easier.”

“I don’t know how, Minerva, but I will find a way to make sure you know how much you’ve meant to me.  I just wish I would have had a chance to know you better before...”

“Don’t worry, Hank.  You have exceeded all of our expectations.  Perhaps not Albus’ expectations, but he does have rather high standards.”  She chuckled a bit, and then seemed to hear something.  “I must leave you, but please stop back at your leisure.  Oh!  How is Balthasar these days?”

“He’s good, Minerva.  I think he’s looking forward to the wedding.”

“I expect he is.  Until next time.”

I watched her leave her portrait, and that was when I noticed that most of my family was standing behind me.  “Pretty cool, huh?”

Unfortunately Dumbledore was not at his portrait, so I couldn’t introduce him, and Snape was sleeping or most likely ignoring us, so Titus decided it was time to show us to our rooms for our stay at Hogwarts.  I was in my room, as usual, but everybody else was all over the school.  Melody, Tinney and Lavinia were staying in the Hufflepuff girls dorms, Jen and John were in Boomstraw, the Potions professor’s room, my parents were in a guest room that I never knew existed, Ted and Candice were staying in Cho’s room and Mike was bunking with me.  Neville offered his room to Nate, but Lavender said they’d stay in the Gryffindor rooms.  I figured something like that would happen, but didn’t say anything.  Titus informed us that the password to all of the common rooms was now changed to “Muggle” to make things easier, but somehow he’d made it so that only the people staying in those common rooms could gain entry.  It also meant that even me, the Head of House for Hufflepuff, couldn’t get into the Hufflepuff common room.  After that he explained that, even though we couldn’t see it, the Aurors had completed a very thorough round of protection spells.  Exiting the grounds was impossible unless it went through him, so nobody was to worry while we were at Hogwarts.

Of course that statement led to a conversation with my mother, as she found a moment while walking through the castle to question Titus.  I caught Lavender’s eye for a moment and she rolled her eyes.  Obviously she felt that the precautions were solid enough to relax, as she finally seemed to be off-duty, more of a regular person than an on-duty cop.  When we entered the Great Hall the staff who had decided to help out were waiting, and again more introductions were made.  I apologized to Cho for making her give up her room, but she thought it would be fun to stay in the Ravenclaw dorm again. 

The person that surprised me the most, though, stood talking to Lavinia.  Argus Filch seemed to have actually taken some time with his appearance, as his hair almost looked clean and it seemed as if he had dug an old green suit out of a trunk, because when I went to talk to him I caught the heavy smell of mothballs. 

“Mr. Filch, I’m glad to see you.  How’s Mrs. Norris doing?”

“Just telling Miss Ryder here, much better.  Much better.  Still a bit poorly, but Miss Pemberton keeps her active.  Don’t worry, Professor, I’ve been making rounds.  Everything’s under control here.”

“Good to know.  Thanks Mr. Filch.”

I left Filch with Lavinia and walked over to Melody, who was explaining the ceiling of the Great Hall to my dad.  “Can you believe Filch?  And you’re seriously staying in the Hufflepuff dorms?”

“Of course, it would be bad luck to stay with you.  Remember what happened last time?”

Dad stuck his head close to Melody.  “And what happened last time?”

Melody seemed embarrassed and lowered her head.  “Never you mind.”

Luckily I was saved more questions from Dad by Neville, who announced that the tour of Hogwarts was starting.  He and Cho had deemed themselves tour guides, so we all followed along.  To be honest I learned a lot as well, as I knew how to get around the castle to the places I needed to go, but there were a lot of things I’d never seen before and history that I’d never heard.  I found out where the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw common rooms were located, as well as the guest room, something that even Neville and Cho didn’t know about until Titus told them.  That surprised me, as Neville was the temporary Headmaster last year, but he explained it away by saying that it hadn’t been used in over a hundred years and it was only after Titus was told by one of the past headmaster’s portraits that anyone knew about it.

After the tour everyone retired to their rooms and I was happy to find that somehow Nonky had put one of the Hufflepuff four-poster beds from the dorms in my room for Mike.  Since we were alone I filled Mike in on some of the darker parts of my time in the Wizarding world, since the night before we had mostly talked about Melody and how things were amazingly different with her, and I’d taken a long time going over our difficulties at first after my date at Ginny’s red carpet event.  I’d also spent quite a lot of time with the back story of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and the rest of my friends, and at one point I’d even grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to sketch out how all of the Weasleys were connected.

Sometime during the retelling of the horror that was Flurbin the Headmaster I heard Mike yawn and realized that I hadn’t slept in a long, long time. 

“Yo Henry, do we have to do anything tonight?”  Mike was laying flat on his back on the bed, one foot dangling over the side just like he used to do in college.

“No, Emory, I don’t think so.  Nap?’

“Hell yes.”

I thought about the lights becoming dimmer and they did, making the room perfect for a nap.  I still hadn’t figured out how Hogwarts managed to do that trick for me, but I figured it had something to do with the fact that the castle seemed to be a living entity of sorts.  Either that or house elf magic, but I didn’t care.  I was exhausted.

 

-ooo-

 

The rest of the week flew by in a series of meetings with vendors about where to place certain things outside; visits from the Aurors and even Kingsley, who stopped by personally to introduce himself to my family and make sure things were going ok.  I’d shown everybody my classroom and heard a bit of teasing about what had happened with Poesy Phillips’ class my first year, but for the most part people seemed to enjoy learning about Hogwarts and just having the time to visit with each other.  Harry and Ron stopped by a couple of times, and Hagrid even made an appearance.  That was fun, as he kept trying to convince Titus that to get the true Hogwarts experience everyone needed to see some sort of magical creature that he was raising.  Luckily Titus ixnayed that idea, as I found out later that whatever it was at Hagrid’s was highly poisonous and had a rotten disposition. 

Everyone had slipped into that area during a long visit when it wasn’t necessary to be with everyone all the time, so it was quite comfortable.  I didn’t feel the pressure to be the host, and Melody was enjoying the time off as well, but the most important part in my opinion was that Lavinia and Tinney had a lot of time together.  I had noticed one development, sort of, and I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination or not, but Ted pointed it out to me on Sunday morning when we were having a late breakfast.

“Hank, you notice anything over there?”  He pointed towards the end of the table with his fork.  “Third time this week, I think.”

I followed his fork directions and saw Cho and Mike together.  “Really?  You sure?”

He finished a bite of eggs and nodded.  “Yep.  Candice mentioned it the other day.”

“I don’t know about that, Ted.  She’s been through a lot lately.”

“So’s Mike.  Maybe that’s why they’re getting along.  Doesn’t hurt that she’s hot, either.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know…”

“Hank I know you’re getting married and all, but you’ve got to admit she’s good looking.”

“That’s not it, idiot.  Cho’s a friend and Mike’s only here for the wedding.  The last guy she dated was a Muggle, and it didn’t end well.  Besides, Hermione got him a date for the wedding.”

“Whatever.  Just saying they’ve been together a lot lately.  Ask him yourself.”

I never found the right time to ask because after breakfast it seemed like the entire Wizarding Wedding industry descended upon Hogwarts.  Melody and I were caught up in a whirlwind of questions, Lane Bramble arrived and things just spiraled into craziness from there.  When Molly and Hermione arrived things got even crazier, as apparently Hermione’s design for the trellis was done incorrectly, causing Neville to raid his Herbology greenhouse for certain plants and the florist to scramble to make Hermione happy.  Of course, the whole time Hermione was disagreeing with the florist she had Rose tucked into one of those over-the-shoulder baby carrier sling things, which made for an interesting sight. 

By the time a break rolled around I was convinced that George and Angelina had the right idea as I was absolutely fed up with all of the details that were supposedly so important.  As far as I was concerned all that had to happen was that Melody and I stood up in front of the wizard who was conducting the ceremony and got married; everything else could go to hell.  I was in a foul mood when I headed back to the castle after telling Melody that I’d reached my limit, so I didn’t notice George Weasley.

“Not even a hello for your business partner?  Is it that bad?”

I looked around and then saw George sitting on the stairs.  “Sorry, George.  Now I get why you and Angelina did it your way.  They’re driving me nuts.”

“Weddings are for women, mate.  You’re just an accessory.”

I sat down next to him and sighed.  “No shit.  Do I really care that the chairs are covered with cushioning charms?  I mean, the ceremony’s not going to last that long.  I hope it isn’t that long…”

“Never fear, Hank, no matter how painful the ceremony will be I’ll have it captured forever.”  He smiled and pointed above his head.

There, floating above us about twenty feet in the air was a small video camera, or what looked like a video camera after it had been Weasley’d.  “Is that…”

“Yes it is.  Recording the whole thing.  They’ll turn invisible on your wedding day so nobody will notice.  Aurors think it’s a great idea, that way if anything happens we’ll have it in WeasleyVision.”

 _Dammit._   I hadn’t even thought about the security risks in ages, and now it came flooding back to me.  I took off my glasses and put my head in my hands. 

“Forgot about that, did you?  Don’t worry, Hank, outside of Gringott’s I think Hogwarts will be the safest place in the world on your special day.”

“Didn’t Harry, Hermione and your brother break into Gringott’s?”

“True, true…but there aren’t any dragons here.  I don’t think so.  Hmmm…have to ask Hagrid.  Bet they’d look smashing in WeasleyVision.”

Before I could make it back into the castle I was flagged down by Hermione, and I felt like I was in trouble by the look on her face.  I was right, unfortunately.

“Hank, you didn’t count correctly.  We’re short an usher.”

“Have Hagrid do it.”

“Oh, that’s very funny.  We’d have to widen the aisle and completely redo the seating.  I need a name, and fast.”

“It’s Monday.  The wedding’s not until Saturday, can’t you just grab some guy in dress robes when he gets here and put him to work?”

She gave me one of her looks that she usually gave Ron when she was exasperated with him and shifted Rose slightly in the sling-thing.  “Honestly, there’s so much more to it than that.  We’ll have to go over who’s walking the family members, where they’re sitting, where the Ministry officials are sitting…”

“Ok, I get it.  Go ask Titus if the Head Boy can do it.  I think he’s just made the decision, so it can be a bonus for whoever got it.”

“That’s…actually, that’s not a bad idea.  Thank you, I’ll do that.” 

As she walked away I noticed Melody walking towards me with her hair tied back and her glasses on the top of her head.  I could tell by the way she walked that she was also tired of all the fuss, so I waited until she came up next to me to say anything.  I was right, she was definitely tired of everything as she came up without saying a word and put her arms around my waist and sunk her head onto my shoulder rather hard.

“Mmmmph somvl tihreddd ovh shiiiisss.”

“Can’t understand.”

She moved her face out of my shirt.  “I’m so tired of this.  Tell me again why we didn’t…”

“Because you said you didn’t want to and your Mom would kill you if we ran off and got married.”  I brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.  “What’s wrong?”

“I feel like a chess piece being moved about.  Mum’s being Mum, Hermione is being scary and I have a dress fitting later today.  I know they’ll have to expand it.  I’ve been gaining so much weight…”

“If it makes you feel better your boobs look great.”

She pinched me, causing me to flinch.  “Horrible.  You’re a horrible man.”

“Want to get out of here for a while?  How long until your fitting?”  I looked at my watch.  “Almost two.  Did you have lunch?”

“No.  I probably shouldn’t, either.”

“Mel, you’ve got to eat and so do I.  Want to go hide out in the kitchen?”

 

-ooo-

 

When we entered the kitchen Nonky met us right away, and after speaking with Neeker it seemed like only a few minutes passed before Melody and I sat down at a small table off to the side with lunch.  Before we sat down I’d offhandedly mentioned to Nonky that it was great to be in the kitchen where nobody could find us for a while, and happily it was the case, as we finally had some time to ourselves.

“If I make it though this without a row with Mum it will be a miracle.”

“I know, Mel.  I’m very proud of you.  Have to say your Mom’s change in attitude is freaking me out.  I’m waiting for her to go back to normal and…”

“Exactly.  I’m hoping it’s permanent, though.  Still can’t believe she apologized to Molly.  Maybe she finally figured out that she wasn’t the only one who lost someone during the war.”

“I wish your Dad could be here to walk you down the aisle.  Wish I’d met him.”

“He’d like you, Hank, I know he would.  I miss him, too.”

I sat there at the table, knowing how much it would have meant to Melody to have her father there and thought about all of the people that should be at the wedding who weren’t going to be there.  Mel’s father Hieronymus, my Grandparents, specifically my Gran, Fred Weasley, Teddy Lupin’s parents, Neville’s parents and especially Minerva McGonagall.  Instantly a conversation with Arthur Weasley popped into my head, the one at Christmas where he helped adjust my attitude to make me remember to appreciate the things in life that I have, rather than what I don’t have. 

And did I ever have a lot to be thankful for.  There, across the table with a large spot of ketchup on the front of her shirt was the most perfect woman in the world.  I thought back to when we met, the first night at her place, the visits in St. Mungo’s when we had broken up, the horrible night after my brother’s wedding…all of the things that had happened.  But the one moment that came back in absolute clarity was when I had asked her to marry me in the Ministry.  I don’t know if I’d ever been that happy in my life. 

“Hank, you’re doing it again.”  She smiled at me and waved a chip in my direction.  “Galleon for your thoughts.”

“It’s on the house.  Just thinking about all of the people who should be here, all that we’ve been through, but most of all how I’ve never been happier than when you said you’d marry me.”

“Henry, you’re going to make me cry.”  She dabbed at her eyes quickly with her napkin and turned away for a moment.

“I didn’t mean to, but it’s the truth.  You know what; I really don’t care what I have to do the rest of the week.  Hermione and the Ministry could ask me to wrestle the giant squid in the lake and that would be fine with me, as long as at the end of everything we get married.  That’s really all that matters.”

“You wouldn’t last long.  A Slytherin boy tried that once.”

“What to marry you?  You never told me that.”

“No silly, wrestling the squid.  Not so much wrestling as trying to touch it.”

“What happened?”

“Two weeks in the hospital wing.”

After we’d finished our lunch I took a look at my watch and shook my head.  “They’re not going to be happy.  It’s almost four.  I guess if they wanted to find us they’d have sent someone.”

Nonky had stopped over to clean our plates and had obviously heard what I said, as he stopped and looked over to me.  “Professor Muggle said nobody should find you so nobody did.”

Melody leaned forward.  “What do you mean, Nonky?”

“Nonky fixed it so nobody could find you.”  The house elf looked at me and his smile was very large.  “Nonky helped.”

“Yes, yes you did, Nonky.  We’d better go back now, so whatever you did you might want to change it back.”  I watched him move his hands and even though nothing seemed any different he acted as if it was finished, gathered up the rest of the debris from lunch and walked away.  I looked over to Mel.  “We might be in trouble.”

Melody shrugged.  “What are they going to do, take away points from Hufflepuff?  They’ll survive.  Come on; let’s go see what the next emergency is.”

She slipped her hand into mine and we walked out of the kitchen, towards potential Weasley Wrath.

 

-ooo-

 

Surprisingly we met little resistance when we returned to the maelstrom of the wedding, as additional arrivals had mitigated our absence.  JoJo Velasquez had arrived from Spain, where she had gone to regroup after New Year’s, so the main group of planners was busy with her fitting.  The other bridesmaids were also in attendance, and I noticed that Amelia, Melody’s cousin, seemed to be out of place with all of the other women as she kept to herself; some things never change.  There was, however, a change in Melody when she saw a short woman with neon green hair, as she said something, dropped my hand and ran over to the woman.  As they squealed and embraced I stood there laughing. 

As I made my way over to the women and snagged a muffin off of the table I saw JoJo walking towards me.  She kissed me on both cheeks and looked much better than the last time I saw her.

“Who’s that, JoJo?”

“Penny, one of her roommates from Hogwarts.  She plays in a band, I can’t remember which one now, she keeps switching.”

“That would explain the hair.”

JoJo chuckled.  “No, that’s just Penny.  She’s always changing it.  Last time I saw her, um, about two years ago I think it was purple.”

Melody brought Penny over, and before Melody could introduce me Penny stuck out her hand.  “Penny Wizzleforth.  So you’re a music boffin, eh?  Quick, three most influential artists ever.”

“Robert Johnson, Hank Williams, Sr. and Chuck Berry.”

She squinted at me.  “Best Weird Sisters album?”

“No clue.”

“It’s Slimy Shadows, that’s an easy one.  Favorite album?”

I laughed.  “That’s a six beer question.  Too many to choose from.”

She let go of my hand and nudged Melody.  “Total Muggle, but he ain’t bad.”

 _Not bad?_   “I only know a couple Weird Sisters songs and there’s some Celestina Warbeck on my WUMP.”

“Celestina Warbeck?”  Penny stuck a finger in her mouth and made retching noises.  “I’ll have to fix that.”

Before we could descend into the familiar “oh yeah, well what about _this_ band” back and forth of music geeks the women were called away by a seamstress, so I waved at them and headed back to my room.  I’d hoped that Mike might have made it back there, but the room was empty, so I sat in my big green chair and pulled out the first book I laid my hands on in my bookshelf.  As I began to open Hemingway’s short stories I heard a knock on the door and glanced over my shoulder.

“It’s open.”

“How are you doing, Hank?”  Harry Potter walked in and sat down at my desk.  “Ready for it to all be over?”

“Definitely.  So what brings you by, Harry?”

“Just wanted to finalize the security details for your bachelor party.  And I’m going to need some of your hair.”

I put the book down quickly.  “My what?  You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.  Neville and George have it all planned out, and you don’t want to disappoint them.  We’re using polyjuice potion for your bachelor party and Melody’s hen night, the Aurors are going to pretend to be us.  Robards has been teasing me about stopping over to see Ginny when he looks like me, but I know he’s joking.  Besides, she won’t be there; she’ll be out with the girls.”

“So let me get this straight, while we’re out drinking there’s going to be another group who looks just like us doing the same thing?”

“Yes, but they won’t be drinking alcohol.  I’ve convinced Bill and Charlie that after New Year’s they owe you a favor for making Melody’s drinks so strong, so they’re our designated Wizards.”

 _Convinced?  I was sure that was an interesting conversation._   “Ok, so when’s this big to-do and where are we going?”

Harry shook his finger at me jokingly.  “Can’t tell you that.  You don’t have clearance.”  Then Harry’s tone changed drastically.  “We are still investigating the tip about the kidnapping.  There will be plenty of Auror shadows about.  In a way, I think Robards is actually hoping they try something, so he can get more information.”

“Fuck.  We’re bait?”  I took off my glasses and rubbed my forehead.  “Now how the hell am I supposed to enjoy things?  I’m going to expect the WLF to attack while I’m having a beer.  Great.”

“Hold on, Hank.  We’ve got it covered.  Ok, don’t tell anyone that I told you, but the fake bachelor party is going to a Muggle bar, where the WLF would expect that you would want to go.  We’ll be going to a Wizarding location, and George hasn’t told anybody where it is yet; he rented the place out for the night, so it’s only going to be us.  We’re not the bait, the Aurors are.”

That made me feel slightly better.  “And what about Melody and…”

Harry held up his hand.  “Taken care of, same thing.  Polyjuiced Aurors, same precautions.  Pretty sure it’s not the same place, but it’ll only be the girls at that spot.  Don’t worry, Hank.  Well, you might have to worry about George; I think he’s got something up his sleeve.”

“That’s a perfect reason to worry, Harry.”

 

-ooo-

 

I was told that morning at breakfast that Charlie had arrived and was at The Burrow by Lavinia, and I wanted to ask exactly how she knew that fact but decided to leave it alone.  As it was the tenth I’d also surprised Melody by having Nonky bring her a special birthday breakfast with a single candle stuck in a scone.  I gave her a kiss when I sat down and wished her a happy birthday, and promised that she’d get her present later that night at the Muggle dinner.  Other presents for her arrived via owl or by people dropping them by the table, and eventually we had an impromptu birthday breakfast for her. 

The rest of the day was devoted to playing tourist, and after the appropriate amount of Aurors had arrived in Muggle clothing to be our escorts we left for Balmoral.  I was worried that somehow Janine would be there, but I dismissed the thought, as there was absolutely no way she would show up after what had happened last time.  Hell, after Melody’s tricks, which she still denied, I doubted that Janine would ever set foot in the UK again, which didn’t bother me in the least.  When we arrived at Balmoral and went through the entrance and arrived at the tour guide location I realized that the entire group was made up of family, friends, wedding participants and Aurors, so I felt fairly safe being out in the Muggle world. 

I was standing talking to Ron when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Seamus Finnegan.

“Question for you, Professor.”

“Sure, what do you need, Seamus?”

“Which ones are single?”

I followed his eyes to the group of women standing closest to the location where the tour guide was due to appear at any moment.  “Well, let’s see…I think Penny is, JoJo, Tinney sorta, don’t know for sure on that one but I don’t think so, Cho and for the next few days Melody.  I’m fixing that on Saturday, though, so don’t get any ideas.  You had your chance on New Year’s Eve for a repeat showing, but that ship’s sailed.  Oh hey, Petal’s here.  Didn’t know she was part of this.”

Seamus ducked his head a bit.  “Petal an’ me have a history, that’s all I’m saying.  Good to know, thanks.  Planning out my reception strategy.”

Ron laughed loudly.  “Merlin’s pants, Seamus.  You’re horrible.”

“Shut it Weasley.  Yer married.”  Seamus gave him a dirty look and walked off towards Harry. 

“Hermione’s biggest failure.  She’s been trying to get him a girlfriend for years.”  Ron clapped me on the shoulder.  “Ok, Hank, looks like they’re ready.  Better go find Melody and make sure she doesn’t send any more people to the hospital.”

The tour went off without a hitch or a hospitalization, so I considered that a great success.  There were enough people who could apparate to get all of the Muggles and Lavinia to Aberdeen, so when we entered it was as a very large, happy group.  The manager greeted me immediately and one of his staff started showing people to the private dining area when I thought I saw someone I recognized.  I acted as if I hadn’t noticed a thing, and in casual conversation with the manager I moved around to get a better look.  _Sonofabitch_. _The woman in the green sweater from my first visit there with Melody was sitting at a table by herself, reading a book._   I wanted to go over and grab Harry immediately, but I didn’t want to spook her.  I’d seen too many movies to know that something like that would lead to a big fight, and that would have been horrible. 

I moved my way over until I was close to Ron.  “Ron, don’t do anything right now, but there’s a woman sitting by herself in there that I think is spying on us.”

“What makes you think so?”  Ron’s voice was low and serious.  “Details.”

“She was at Balmoral when Melody and I were there the first time, and then she was here at the restaurant later that night.  Ron, we…um, Melody got us here fast.  Too fast for her to get here by car.  Is she one of yours?”

“Description, fast.”

“Mid-fifties, short dark hair, I think she’s wearing a blue shirt.  Over by the big plant in the corner.”

Ron nodded.  “Excuse me for a moment.”

I watched him walk through the tables and expected him to make a pass by the woman, but he went in the other direction until he stopped at the hostess’ podium by the entryway.  I watched the hostess point towards the back of the restaurant, and as Ron walked through the tables he bumped into one table, bent over to pick something off of the floor, and then walked away.  I couldn’t watch anymore as we were being escorted to our private room, and I didn’t want to tip off the woman, so I followed everybody and sat down at my appointed chair.

The small talk that went around the table seemed like white noise to me; all I could do was focus on the door and wait for Ron.  Mike’s the actor, not me, so I noticed that Harry and Neville were looking at me strangely. 

“Everything ok, Hank?  Not getting cold feet, are you?”  Harry gave me a look that said he was joking but knew there was something else going on.

Luckily for me Ron walked in at that moment, apologizing for being late, and I felt my shoulders ease slightly.  “No, not at all, Harry.”

Ron stopped over and whispered in my ear.  “Not one of ours.  It’s covered.  Tell you later.”

Melody looked at us suspiciously.  “What’s all that about?”

“Bachelor party plans.”  Ron stood up and walked over to Hermione, sat down and immediately tore into the complimentary appetizers.

Melody shook her head and I took a drink of the just-poured wine.  If Ron said it was covered, then I considered it covered.

 

-ooo-

 

The rest of the night went very well, as everybody seemed to be in great spirits.  Mom lamented the fact that Andromeda was once again watching the Potter boys and Bill and Fleur’s kids, but Ginny assured her that Andromeda preferred it that way and Lavinia would be there to help.  Hermione said that her parents were more than happy to watch Rose but she did want to make it an early night, as Friday night would be a long night out.

As dessert came I decided it was time to give Melody her present, so I walked over to Hermione.  She pulled out her purse and after reaching in farther than seemed possible she pulled out the box.

“Sorry, got nappies on the first two attempts.  Here you go.”

I thanked her and walked back to my seat.  “Ready for your present?”

Across the table Penny rolled her eyes.  “It’s about bloody time.  She’s been trying to guess all day.”

That caused everyone to laugh, so I handed Melody the black velvet case.  “Happy Birthday, love.”

Melody took the case from me gently, and after opening it up she clapped a hand to her mouth in surprise.

“Do you like them?”  _Oh crap please please please like them because I spent way too much on them.  Hell, I used an advance from Ian Coswock on my Muggle Studies textbook to partially pay for them.  If that book didn’t sell I had to hope my Weasley percentage would pay off big._

She lifted the goblin wrought necklace out of the case and held it up; the large, teardrop shaped pendant with diamonds on it glittered even in the low lighting level of the dining room.  With her free hand she took out one of the matching earrings with its smaller version of the pendant on the necklace.

“Hank..they’re…Merlin…I…”

“They will be beautiful with her wedding dress.”  Lane looked at me a few seats down on the other side of the table.  “Decidedly gorgeous.”

After Melody put them on and hugged and kissed me for several minutes I realized that Hermione was crying, Angelina was a mess and Jennifer’s eyes were huge. 

“So I did good?”  I looked at Melody’s glittering, tear-streamed face.  “I can take them back if you…”

She put a finger over my lips.  “They’re perfect.”

The romance of the scene was quickly deflated by George Weasley.  “Boyd, you tosser!”  There was a lot of laughter, and everyone turned to George.  “You’ve set the bar way too high now.  Goblin made jewelry?”

Angelina thumped George on the back of the head.  “What, I’m not worth it?  I am carrying your child, you know.”

Luckily for my friends, especially the men, it was eventually decided that it was a fitting birthday present because we were getting married in two days, so it was a combination birthday and wedding present.  Neville, though, shot me half-hearted dirty looks for the rest of the night.  I had forgotten completely about the woman in the blue shirt until one of the waiters knocked on the door and announced he had a message for Ron Weasley.  That brought everyone to attention, but Ron waved it off, saying he was just getting information on the restaurant for his anniversary with Hermione, which made Hermione very happy.  I had a feeling Melody and I would be watching Rose that night to pay for the Ron’s cover story but I didn’t care. 

As we all left the restaurant I got a kick out of watching Titus count off Muggle money for the waiter, as I realized he’d probably never done that in his life, or if he had it had been a long time.  We were all gathering outside the restaurant to walk towards an apparition-safe spot when Ron came up to me.  He spoke lowly enough that I could hear him but nobody else could.

“Not one of ours.  Rolf’s on it.”

 _Holy shit.  Rolf was at the restaurant?  And that wasn’t an Auror?  Fuck_.  _I wanted to grab the Aurors and go after the woman, but I knew it was futile.  I couldn’t do anything except light things on fire with my wand, how could I help?_   “Thanks, Ron.” 

 

-ooo-

 

Mike woke me up Friday morning by throwing something at me, hitting me directly in the head.  I sat up, rubbed my head for a moment then reached over to find my glasses.  Having gained some semblance of sight I reached over to find the projectile and discovered a magazine with a mostly naked woman on the cover.

“What the hell?”

He sat on his bed in his boxers and pointed at the magazine.  “Better look while you can.  After tomorrow those will be illegal for you.”

“How do you know?  Maybe I got her a subscription for Christmas last year.”

“Right.  Did you?”

“No.”

“Then shut up and take a look at what you’ll be missing.  Trust me, when Cori found my stash she burned them all in the barbeque grill.  Took me all day to clean it up after that.  Melted DVDs will really screw up a grill.”  It was the first time that Mike had mentioned Cori in a long time, something that I think we both simultaneously realized.  He pulled his hair back and put it into a ponytail.  “She’d be really happy for you, you know.  The whole magic thing would have made her jealous, but she would have loved all this.”

“Yeah, she would have thought it was cool, especially the portraits.  Mike, I’ve been meaning to ask you, but it just never seemed like the right time…I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with Cho.”

I watched Mike lean back against the headboard of the bed and lean his head back.  “Yeah.  It’s just easy to talk to her.  You know how sometimes you can tell a stranger things you can’t tell your family, or friends?  Sorry, I know you tried, and you were great, it’s just…she’s been through a lot, too.  She was a lot younger when her stuff happened.”

“True, but you had a lot longer with Cori than she did with Cedric.  Look, I don’t want to come off like an overprotective asshole, but she’s a friend of mine.  You’re going to be leaving soon, and she just got out of a relationship that didn’t end well.”

“I know.  We’ve talked about it.  Right now we’re just talking, that’s it.  Talking.  Don’t worry, Hank, I’m not Nate.”

“Good to know.  Nate’s not like he used to be, either, ever since he met Lavender.  That’s been weird.  Good, but weird.”

He sat up quickly and put his feet on the floor.  “You work in a place where the freaking staircases move and you say that’s weird?  You suck.  Come on, I’m hungry, let’s go get breakfast.  You’ve got to start the day off right if you’re going to make it through your bachelor party.”


	23. A Night at the Dreamy Dragon

**Chapter 23: A Night At The Dreamy Dragon**

 

The moment we entered the Great Hall for breakfast Melody walked briskly over to Mike and me, but instead of saying hello or giving me a kiss or doing anything to acknowledge my existence Melody grabbed Mike’s hand and drug him over to the table the farthest away from everyone.  I watched as Mike nodded a lot, and after a few minutes Melody took out her wand and shook it at him causing him to nod very rapidly.  I figured it was best to leave that alone, so I sat at the table with the rest of my family and sat next to my sister.  Jennifer was smiling in Melody’s direction when I sat down.

“What’s all that about, Jen?  Pass the toast.”

As I received the toast she held on to the other side, so the plate was stuck hovering over the table between us.  “Backup, that’s what.  She’s already laid into Neville.”

“Neville?  What’d he do?”

“It’s not what _he_ did; it’s what she’s afraid _you’ll_ do.  You remember Ted’s bachelor party, and what happened after that, right?” 

She let go of the plate and I finally got my toast.  I nodded.  “Oh yeah, Lavender’s boobs.”

My brother-in-law John leaned forward and stuck his head around Jen.  “What?  Lavender’s boobs?”

Jennifer hushed him and said that she’d tell him later, but it seemed like the cat was out of the bag, or as Arthur says, the boggart, so Jen held court retelling the story for John, Cho and Penny and most unfortunately for me, my dad.  Nothing like starting the day off with an embarrassing story.

Dad laughed.  “It could be worse.  When a college friend of mine got married we got him stinking drunk, took him to a gentleman’s club and then drove out into the country, tied him to a tree in his skivvies and left him there.”

Cho looked completely shocked.  “What’d he do?”

“Well, not much you can do when you’re tied to a tree in your underwear.”  Dad took a long sip of coffee, enjoying the anticipation of his listeners, a classic Dad move. 

Penny looked toward the ceiling and then to Dad.  “Come on, you can’t just leave it there.  What happened?”

“We went and got him an hour before the wedding.”

My dad’s tone was conversational, just as if you’d told someone that the newspaper was on the counter.  I leaned back behind Jen and tapped John on the shoulder.  “Not in a million years.”

The rest of the day was actually pretty boring, as there were no plans or activities scheduled.  Almost all of the preparations were complete, except for the things that had to be done the day of the ceremony, so I ended up out at the Quidditch pitch after lunch watching a pickup Quidditch match.  Neville and Cho were flying, something I had never seen either of them do, and somehow word must have got out, because soon everyone seemed to be converging on the pitch.  George and Angelina arrived first, and after a somewhat heated conversation George took flight alone.  Angelina came over to Melody and me, plopped herself down angrily and didn’t say anything to either of us for quite some time.  Lavender was even up in the air, which surprised me because I never took her for the Quidditch type, but you learn something new every day.  Ron and Hermione arrived next, and Ron shoved on a helmet and took off for the goal before even saying hello to anyone.  Hermione joined us on the sidelines with Rose, and we’d only said a few words to each other before Harry and Ginny arrived, each of them carrying a son.  They walked directly over to us, and Harry handed James to Melody and Ginny thrust Albus into my hands.

“Have some quality time with your godson, Hank.  Merlin, I haven’t flown in ages.  Careful Melody, James is walking everywhere now.  Thanks.”

I looked over at Melody and she gave me the look I figured I was giving her, the “what do we do now?” look.  Hermione and Angelina laughed at us.  Ginny was right, James definitely wanted down, and he wanted down NOW.  Luckily for me Albus was sleeping, and I hoped he would stay that way for quite a while.  Melody decided that she didn’t want to fight James so she walked to an area of grass away from the pitch and sat him down, where she kept him busy by creating little butterflies with her wand that James would toddle after, fall down, and then go after again.

The rest of my family came out to the pitch, as obviously they’d never seen a Quidditch match.  I tried explaining things, but it was quickly apparent to my Wizarding friends that I was mostly hopeless.  Angelina took over and was in the middle of things when I noticed Mike and Penny walking towards the pitch, close together in conversation.  _Crap_.  What was Mike doing?  I thought he had a thing for Cho; did he take my warning to be careful with her a little too literally?  I made a note to ask him about it later, as Penny grabbed a school broom from the open storage shed thingy and took off into the air.

The next to arrive were Charlie Weasley, Tinney and Lavinia.  Much to my surprise all three took out brooms and took off into the air.  Not too long after that the Bill Weasleys arrived, so he took off and Fleur and the girls came over for a minute, until Victoire saw James chasing butterflies and ran over to join in. 

When Mike eventually made it over he laughed at me.  “So much for being a sports dork, huh?  Here you are on the sidelines holding a baby and you aren’t even married yet, nice.”

“He’s my godson, Harry and Ginny’s youngest.  I don’t mind.  Wish I could get a decent baseball game going, but that would be near impossible here.”

 

-ooo-

 

The match or matches lasted until the sun was almost down and my stomach was growling.  I had to enlist Hermione’s help to mix up Albus’ food because I wasn’t sure exactly what he needed.  The diaper, or nappy as I was reminded, wasn’t a problem as I’d done enough of those for my niece and nephew.  The one good thing about Quidditch and watching Albus was that it took my mind off of everything, especially the decoy bachelor party.  I decided that I was ready to eat even if nobody else was, so I nudged Melody, who held a finally sleeping James, and we headed back up to the castle.  Most of my family had already taken off, as the novelty of Quidditch had worn off, leaving only Nate still on the sidelines watching Lavender.

Halfway up to the castle James woke up and decided he needed to walk on his own, and Melody stood next to him, sometimes holding his hand when he let her.  She looked over to me and held up her hands, so I nodded.  I figured I’d be halfway through supper by the time they made it up to the castle.  I was almost at the courtyard when Mike made his way over to me.

“So, Mr. Mom, ready for tonight?”

“I guess.  Mike, I gotta ask you something; what’s up with you and Penny?  You two have been hanging out a lot lately.”

“Worried about Cho?  Don’t be.  We’ve just been talking about music, and boy do I have a bombshell for you.  Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones, you know how his death has always been a real mystery?  Well, guess what?  He was a wizard.  Those anti-wizard types killed him for playing in a, what do you call it?”

“Muggle.”

“Yeah, that’s it, a Muggle band.  Oh man this is huge!”

I shook my head.  “Great, huh?  Guess what, you can never tell anybody except for another witch or wizard.”

“Fuck!” 

“Tell me about it.  Makes things interesting.”

We walked along in silence for a while, until we reached the courtyard, and Mike elbowed me.  “Hey.”

“Idiot, I’m holding a baby!”

“Whatever, I didn’t do it that hard.  Don’t worry about Penny.  She plays for the other team.”

I looked over at him and couldn’t figure out what he meant.  “What do you mean?”

“Come on, stupid, the _other team._

“Oh.”  Now I got it.  A thought went through my head and I started to laugh.

“Hank, are you ok?  What’s the big deal; we know a lot of gay people.”

“That’s not it.  I was just thinking how horribly Seamus is going to strike out with her at the reception.”

After a quick meal in the Great Hall I went over to say goodbye to Melody, as the next time I would see her she would be walking down the aisle.

“So, ready to be Mrs. Boyd?”

“Yes, yes I am.”  She took my hand.  “After everything I can’t believe we’ve finally made it to this night.”

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Neville, looking rather serious.  “Nev, what’s wrong?”

He cleared his throat and did the whole serious professor look.  “Miss Bramble, I’m afraid that your fiancée has detention.  He’ll be serving his time with us, so…”

Melody walked over and stood very closely to him, trying to pull herself up as tall as possible.  Next to Neville, who was taller than me, it was pretty funny.  “Neville Longbottom, you promised me.  Remember what I said.”

Neville nodded at her and she seemed more relaxed.  She gave me a kiss and I walked away with Neville, who was smiling.

“I’m not afraid of Melody, Hank.  After all, I promised her, but George didn’t.”

 

-ooo-

 

Once everyone arrived at the appointed apparition spot I took a look at the crew.  Of course the wedding party was there, and we had been joined by John, Charlie, Bill and Seamus.  George announced that we were ready to leave, put a blindfold over my eyes with a wave of his wand and then someone grabbed my arm.  After feeling the nausea of side-along apparition my blindfold was removed and we stood in an alley.  I looked over to Neville, who I assumed to be my apparition partner.  “Ok, where are we?”

“I can tell you that.”  George walked forward.  “We are at the back entrance of a club which I have rented for the evening, a club known as the Dreamy Dragon.”

“What?”  Bill’s exclamation came from the back of the group.  “The Dreamy Dragon?  Bloody hell, George!”

Nate nudged me.  “What’s wrong with The Dreamy Dragon?”

“No clue, bro.”

Neville leaned in.  “It’s a gay bar.”

Mike walked over and slapped me on the back.  “I love it.  Melody will be really happy with this.”  He looked over to Bill and thumbed in my direction.  “I think he needs a few of your Extra Specials.  Let’s go!”

As we walked up the stairs to the third floor and entered the club the music started, and halfway towards the bar I stopped, which caused several guys to run into me and each other.  I turned around.  “Is that…”

Neville nodded.  “Mike and I figured you might like some of your music.  George hooked a WUMP up to their system.  Now move it, you wanker, I need a drink.”

That caused almost everybody to laugh, as we were seeing a different side of Neville.

Charlie and Bill stood behind the bar, mixing drinks and sending the house elves out for certain ingredients, and to be honest most of us were pretty well gone.  We’d been there for a couple of hours, there’d been a pool tournament, darts, and Ron and George had actually wrestled at one point,  I was sitting in a lounge area with Ted, Mike, Neville, John and Harry by the big fireplace, when Mike snapped his fingers. 

“Almost forgot.  We couldn’t have your bachelor party without these.”

I caught the pack of cigarettes he threw me, and then Dad tossed a cigar at me which went over my head and landed on the floor. 

Neville took out his wand.  “Accio thing that will get Hank in trouble.”

That was the wrong thing to say, as not only the cigar but several bottles of alcohol made their way over and landed next to us.  George laughed as he took out his wand and conjured a chair.  I lit a cigarette.  _Why not?_   Charlie was there to do the peppermint trick which reminded me that I still hadn’t cashed in my bet with Melody from New Year’s.

Everybody joined the group, and I noticed that Ron looked particularly pleased.  “Why’re you so happy, Ron?”

“Ask Bill n’ Charlie.”

They held up their glasses, and I recognized sparkly water.  Ron’s revenge from New Year’s was complete.

George stood up.  “Now if I may I have your attention please.  As we all know, tomorrow Hank will join the ranks of henpecked husbands everywhere.  I have a few words of advice.”

Neville elbowed me.  “This ought to be good.”

“Shut it, Longbottom, your time is coming soon enough.  Ok.  First, do not, under any circumstances, tell your wife she is gaining weight, even if she looks like she swallowed a hippogriff and you have to _engorgio_ the door to get her arse through.”

Before George could continue a house elf came over and tugged on his pants leg.  “Ah, I was wondering about that.  Running late, not surprised.  Gentlemen, and you too, Hank, the entertainment is here.”

We all turned to look at the entrance, and sure enough a very beautiful, extremely curvy blonde woman walked towards us wearing flowing silver-blue robes that were semi-transparent.  When she arrived at our spot George went over and visited with her for a second, pointed to me, and sat back down.

“Direct from France, where I might have met her at a business meeting at an undisclosed location, may I present the very alluring Cicely!”

George waved his wand and the music changed and Cicely began to dance.  _Holy crap, Melody was going to jinx all of my parts off!_   “George, what…”

“Don’t worry, it’s tasteful.  She doesn’t get starkers.”  George tried to look very serious.  “It’s art.”

Cicely began dancing towards all of us, and when she got close to Mike I noticed that his eyes seemed to lose focus, and if I wasn’t mistaken he began to drool slightly.

Bill laughed.  “Veela?”

Cicely moved over towards him and draped her very long hair over his shoulder, but before I could do anything else she came over to me.  I guessed she had more Veela blood than Fleur, because I felt very woozy.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see a flash or two from George’s camera, but I didn’t care, it was intoxicating, even more so than Bill’s Specials that I had been pounding.  I don’t know how long she was by me but eventually she wasn’t there anymore and I felt my senses start to return.

“Those are going to be priceless pictures.  Priceless!”  George was beaming.  Cicely returned to me, kissed me on the cheek and then left the club.

After we all regained some semblance of composure, I noticed that Charlie did not look very happy.  Actually, he looked angry. 

I took a big puff off of my cigar.  “What’s wrong, Charlie?  Don’t tell me you didn’t like that?”

“It’s not that, Hank.”  He shook his head and then looked over at George.  “You didn’t tell anybody about her, did you?”

“No, brother, otherwise it wouldn’t have been a surprise.  You know surprise.  Don’t know and then it happens.  Surprise.”

I looked over to Harry and Ron, who were exchanging dark looks.  _Fuck.  This couldn’t be good_. 

 

-ooo-

 

It wasn’t.  The front door was blasted off of its hinges, and two wizards in dark robes entered the club, shooting spells.

“Get down!”  Charlie stood up and cast a spell that shielded most of us, and the wizards had their wands out. 

I saw a house elf run towards the bar, where a man’s face peered out over the top and then disappeared.  The guy behind the bar wasn’t wearing a dark robe, so I didn’t know if he was one of the WLF or not, but I wasn’t taking any chances.  “There’s someone behind the bar!”

George wobbled slightly as he fired off a spell towards the attackers.  “That’s the owner.  Ron!  On your right!”

More black robed figures were entering the bar, causing us to group together and move towards the other part of the club.  Mike’s face was as pale as his hair, and Nate looked furious.  Neville had grabbed John and Ted and was pulling them out of the way while Seamus stood in front casting spells to cover them. 

I pulled out my wand, hoping that I’d be able to do something like before, but nothing happened, just a small red spit of fire that died almost immediately.  “Sonofabitch!  Now what?”  Nobody answered, as they were busy protecting us.  I saw one of Bill’s spells send a robed figure hurtling towards the dance floor where it skidded along and eventually crashed into the DJ booth. 

Harry half-crouched as he ran over to me, ducking spells.  “Hank!  Take these!  Give them to your family!” 

I looked at what he’d thrust into my hands and realized they were Disillusion Balls.  I took off and hurriedly gave them to Mike, Nate, John and Ted.  “Crush them with your hands, quick!”  They did as they were told and instantly they disappeared from sight.  I went to crush the one left for me when Seamus came flying back and hit me in the side, causing the ball to fly up in the air and crash onto the floor, going up in a puff of blue smoke.

George came running over and grabbed my shoulder.  “Door over there, take it!  Goes downstairs to the second floor!  Go!”

I took off for the door at a sprint, hoping my invisible family and friends would follow, and as I headed down the stairs in the near-pitch darkness I felt someone run into my shoulder, but I couldn’t see who it was so the invisible guys had followed.  I made my way down the stairs until I ran into a locked door, causing a semi-pileup of people.  Neville’s head poked around the corner, his hair slightly smoking.  “Neville, it’s locked!”

Neville elbowed his way around until he unlocked the door with a quick _alohamora_ , and with his wand held at the ready he pushed me aside before I could go in.  “Safe here, come on!”

I ran through the newly opened door and found myself in a vast open area, as it appeared the second floor was used for storage.  George had somehow entered the room and pointed towards a large black wall.

“There!  Head towards that, it’s a saferoom!  Come on, I know the password!”

We all ran to the smooth black wall, which turned out to be more of a large black box that ran from the floor to the ceiling, about thirty feet wide, and I couldn’t see a door anywhere.  As I waited for George I looked around and realized that Seamus and Bill weren’t there.  Harry and Ron were standing by the door from the stairwell, and I heard and felt an explosion above us as some piles of things fell over in the room.  When Seamus and Bill ran through the door all of the wizards joined them and cast a spell together at the door.  I watched the doorframe glow bright blue and then it seemed to pulse a light blue.  Charlie was the first to get to me.

“Hank, where’s your family?”

“We’re over here, Charlie.”  I heard Nate’s voice behind me.  “We’re invisible.”

George ran over to the black wall, placed both his hands on its surface and whispered something, causing a door to appear several feet away to our left.  He ran over and opened it up, motioning for everyone to get inside as fast as possible.  As soon as we were all inside, and we heard the voices of everyone who was invisible, George repeated the same procedure he’d done to make the door appear and I watched the door dissolve again into blackness.

Charlie went up to George and grabbed his shirt.  “Your stupid Veela is going to get us all killed!”

George shook his head.  “Not possible, I had a house elf bring her.”

“Who’s house elf?”  Bill ran his hand through his hair.  “Come on, George, who’s bloody house elf!”

“The club owner’s.  The Aurors already went over his security check.”

Ron shook his head and pounded a fist on the wall.  “House elves.  Dammit, I didn’t see the report on house elves!”  He turned to Harry.  “Jaglom did the security review.  He must have missed the house elves!”

George looked to Ron.  “They only obey their masters.  But you said the owner passed security clearances…bloody hell, this is a right mess.  Well, we’re safe in here for a long time; this room won’t open unless you know the password.”

Seamus stepped forward quickly and tapped George on the shoulder.  “Look over there.”

Every eye turned to where Seamus was pointing his wand, as a door was beginning to form on the far wall. 

Harry stepped forward and pointed his wand at the door, echoing Seamus.  All of the wizards had their wands out and soon as the door fully materialized it swung open.  George shot a stunning spell towards the first person through, and I saw a woman with a dark complexion fall to the floor. 

“Holy shit, George!”  I grabbed his arm.  “You just stunned your wife!”

 

-ooo-

 

George and I pulled Angelina inside the door and soon Melody’s entire hen night group stood in the room.  The women were out of breath, dirty and scared.  As the door sealed shut I searched the women for Melody’s face, and finally saw her behind Jennifer.

“Mel!  What the hell are you doing here?”

I started to go to her but Harry threw his arm across my chest, stopping me.  He pointed his wand at Ginny, who had her wand pointed at him as well.

“Ginny, what were the first words you said to me after Albus was born?”

She lowered her wand.  “You’re having the next one.”

As soon as he heard her response Harry lowered his arm and I ran over to Mel and hugged her.  “What are you doing here?”

“We were downstairs.”  She breathed heavily in my arms, and then looked up at me.  “Have you been smoking?”

“We’re trapped inside some room on the second floor of a gay bar, being attacked and that’s what’s bothering you?”

A noisy conference ensued, and eventually the full details came out.  JoJo had rented out The Wicked Witch, the lesbian bar on the bottom floor of the building.  The two bars were separated by the middle storage floor, and it was just an amazing coincidence that we were all in the same building.  As for how the WLF knew we were here, it turned out that a house elf was involved.  The guess was that the owner, looking to score a few Galleons, had sent a house elf off to the press, and the Aurors guessed that the WLF had someone on the inside at _The Prophet_.  We guessed that the owner was hoping for some publicity for his businesses.  Angelina, once she had regained consciousness, told us that she had heard one of the attacking Wizards say to the other that they’d found the real ones, which led everyone to believe that the fake bachelor party and hen night groups had been attacked. 

I sat on the floor against the wall and Melody sat in front of me, leaning back on my chest.  I watched the Aurors discuss things until finally Ron came over and stood in front of everybody.

“Ok, here’s what we know.  The WLF has people on the third and first floors.  They’ll get through the wards eventually, and then we’ll be surrounded.  We’re safe here until they find the owner and get the password out of him somehow, unless he was smart enough to get the hell out of here.  The problem is how we get out of here before they find some way to break through the walls, because I’m guessing this place won’t hold up forever.  Or even worse, it will.””

“Can’t you send out one of those silver animal things?”  I heard Ted’s voice from the left, but couldn’t see him as he was still invisible.  “What do you call them?”

“Patronus.”  Harry’s voice flat.  “Won’t work here.  The safe room keeps all magic away, nothing in or out.  That’s how it’s designed, but they’re not foolproof.  My patronus wouldn’t be able to get out of the room.”

“Remember that bloke in Essex?  Ran away from us and locked himself in his safe room?”  Seamus shook his head.  “That was a fun one.  Took us a week before he came out.  Finally got hungry.”

Mike suddenly started becoming visible over to the left, and I noticed that he was next to Cho.  “Hey, I know this is the wrong time, but I’m definitely sober now and getting hungry.  Too bad we can’t have a house elf bring us food, if we’re going to be here a week.”

“Holy shit!  Mike, that’s it!  Harry!”  I stood up abruptly, almost elbowing Melody in the head.  “House elves!”

Harry got my meaning immediately and called for Kreacher, while I called for Nonky.  Almost immediately the distinctive pops of the house elves was heard, and the two very different forms of Kreacher and Nonky appeared in front of us.  Harry sent Kreacher to alert the Aurors, and I looked at Nonky, who seemed very scared.

“Nonky, this is very important.  I want you to find Rolf Scamander and tell him where we are, and that we’re being attacked.  As fast as you can, Nonky.  After you tell him I want you to go somewhere safe, ok?”

Nonky nodded, his big ears flopping rapidly about, and apparated away.

JoJo looked over to us.  “Now what?”

Harry took Ginny by the hand and leaned against the wall.  “We wait.”  Under his breath, very softly I heard Harry say “Thank you, Dobby.”

People had paired off or formed small groups as we waited.  Everybody was now visible, and Ted, Candice and Nate sat with Lavender, who looked furious.  I sat apart from everybody with Melody, in an old chair that we found hidden under some boxes.  I looked at my watch; three in the morning. 

“Hey love, what time are you supposed to be there to get ready?”

“Nine.”  Her voice was very soft and sad.  “If we ever get there.”

“We’ll get there, don’t worry.  If anybody can get us out of this its Ron, Harry and everybody else.”

She nodded and was quiet for quite some time.  Eventually she looked up at me.  “I guess the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding thing’s out the window, so sod it.  What were your honeymoon plans?”

“Are.”  I looked at her sternly.  “What my wedding plans are, Mel.  We’re still getting married and going to America.  I’ve got a combination tour of America and the UMS lined up.  Coswock’s helped set it up, we’ll be going to bookstores and schools, I’m signing my book and talking to them about my textbook, that helped pay for everything.  I had Nate buy a car for us, so we’ll be going in style.  The appointments are spaced far enough apart that we’ll have plenty of time for just us.  Thought it would give us a chance to play tourist for a couple of weeks.”

“Sounds lovely, Hank.” 

I looked up to see Hermione looking at us, and she seemed apprehensive.  “Sorry, but I overheard your plans.  I didn’t know if I should tell you this, but when I was pregnant with Rosie I had some very odd dreams.  Not always dreams, sometimes it happened when I was awake, and most of them were about the future.  I saw you two in a white car outside a building that said Laveau School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and it must have been warm weather as you weren’t wearing much.  I know it was only a dream, but it felt as if I was right there with you.”

Ron stood next to Hermione and shook his head.  “Wonderful.  Anyone else have any breaking news?”

“I’m moving to the UMS.”  Lavender took Nate’s hand.  “The AAB offered me a job.”

We didn’t have a chance to respond as a shout went up from the crowd.  I looked over to see a doorway start to appear and then begin to disappear, flickering as if it was underneath a strobe light.  Loud noises came through the walls, and although they were muffled it was obvious that someone was fighting outside.  Again the door started to appear, but this time it fully materialized.  Every wand was pointed at the door, and when it opened a person in a shimmering robe entered with their hands held up to show he was not a threat.

“We’re here to get you out.  Rolf sent me, come on, all hell’s breaking loose out there.”  The man pushed back the hood of his robe, the shimmering affect seemed to wane, and I recognized the man.

“Paul!”

George looked over to me.  “You know him?”

“Bummed a smoke off him at New Year’s.  Paul, get us the hell out of here!”

 

-ooo-

 

We exited the room under the protection of Aurors and the Invisibles; Paul had given all of the Muggles shimmery robes like the ones he wore, making them hard to see, but there wasn’t enough for everybody so Nate and I went without.  The group formed a barrier around us and it felt like a rugby scrum, as we shuffled along in the middle while the wizards and witches cast spells.  Half of the room seemed on fire, and screams and bodies were everywhere.  Above all the noise was deafening, as some sort of siren wailed loudly making any communication below a shout impossible.  One of the Aurors to my right was hit with a spell and immediately fell, but the pace of the scrum didn’t let us stop to check on him. 

Neville turned about for a moment and then grabbed Ron.  “We can’t apparate.”

“Sod apparition, Nev!  Move!”  Ron fired a spell and grabbed my sister’s arm.  “Now!  Towards the window!”

We followed Ron’s order and moved in the direction of the window, stumbling over piles of debris and a couple of bodies in the process, and the smoke was burning my eyes and throat.  Before we got to the window Seamus pulled out his wand and blasted the windows open, taking some of the smoke away but the air also helped feed the fire as the flames began increasing.  The roar of the fire was close, and as I glanced through the smoke I could see figures dueling with their wands, jets of light streaming through the air.  Paul came over quickly and grabbed me by the shirt.

“Out the window, only way.”

“Are you kidding?  I’ll break a leg or worse!”

“No you won’t, trust me.  Stand still!” 

He pointed his wand at me and silver light erupted from his wand and circled my waist, growing bigger and bigger until it seemed to envelop my entire body, and then it ballooned outwards until it looked like I was inside a bubble.  I didn’t have a chance to say anything because Paul put his hands on the bubble and pushed me out of the window.

I’ve never jumped out of an airplane or bungee jumped, but I had a feeling it would probably feel like it did when I went out of the window; my stomach immediately went into my throat and all I could see was the rapidly approaching ground.  I braced for the impact, waiting to feel the ground break every bone in body, but instead I felt myself rising in the air again.  I opened my eyes and saw myself floating above the ground, then I repeated the process again, falling and rising exactly as a ball does when bounced from a large height.  I turned around in my bubble and saw other bubbles doing the same thing until a stream of yellow light covered my ball and brought me down to the ground in front of Harry Potter. 

My bubble popped and I ran over to Harry.  “How’d you get down here so quick?  Where’s everybody else?”

“I’m not Potter, I’m Robards.  Polyjuice hasn’t worn off yet.”  He turned over his shoulder.  “Stewart!  Start getting them to the Ministry!”

A version of Hermione ran up to me, grabbed my arm, and before I could say anything she apparated us out of there.

 

-ooo-

 

As soon as we arrived at the Ministry the Auror apparated out of there, leaving me in a room full of very stern looking faces.  Thankfully Kingsley appeared over my shoulder, but I didn’t have time to ask him anything as the room began quickly filling up with people.  Ted showed up first, then Mike, and soon everyone was there except for Ron, Harry and Seamus.  Melody ran over and threw herself into my arms, and I hugged her for all I was worth.  I wanted to say a lot of things but I couldn’t find my voice; it was just too much.  Bill came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Come on, we need to figure out exactly what happened.  Follow me.”

Everyone followed Bill and Kingsley, who were in a deep and very earnest conversation, and we finally reached our destination, a large room with a big table and enough chairs to seat fifty people.  After we’d sat down I looked around the room, making sure everyone was ok.  Ted’s hat was gone and Neville’s hair was singed on the top of his head making him look as if he’d had a reverse Mohawk.  Amelia, Melody’s cousin, sat next to me and had her head in her hands.  George and Angelina were holding hands and stared directly at Kingsley.  Mike and Cho were together, and it appeared as if Cho was bleeding through her shirt around her right shoulder.  The part that freaked me out the most, and that was saying a lot based on what had happened, was that Hermione and Lavender were hugging. 

I didn’t have time to wonder about that because Kingsley stood up quickly as Ron, Harry, Robards and Seamus walked in alongside of Rolf Scamander and Paul the smoker.

“It’s taken care of, Minister.”  Rolf sat down in a chair with a thump, causing the chair to move back slightly and make a scraping sound on the floor.  “We’ve got most of them, but don’t worry; we saved a couple of them for you.”

Rolf’s comment led to a disagreement between him and Ron, as Ron objected to some of the Invisibles’ tactics, but Rolf waved him off and seemed annoyed by the whole thing.  After Kingsley calmed them down we sat there and listened to an official debrief on what happened.  Robards explained that their plan of luring the WLF to attack the polyjuiced party worked perfectly, as they had been in a Muggle bar for a couple of hours when the WLF made their move.  They’d fought to just about an even draw when the WLF brought out a woman and threatened to kill her in front of Professor Muggle.  When the Auror playing me went to speak with the hostage as indicated it wasn’t long before they figured out that the polyjuiced version of me wasn’t actually me.

“How’d they know that?”  I looked down the table to Robards.  “I gave you a spare pair of glasses and everything.”

“We didn’t anticipate their hostage.  We’d figured they’d try to kidnap one of your family members.  They had your ex-girlfriend.”

“Janine?”  I sat back quickly in my chair.  “How…”

“The woman at the restaurant in Aberdeen.”  Rolf leaned forward.  “We trailed her for a while but she eventually gave us the slip.  Weasley said you’d seen her before.”

“Yeah, the day that Melody sent Janine to the hospital.”  I looked over to Melody.  “Remember that?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed deeply.  “Fine!  I did it.”

Rolf drummed his fingers lightly on the table.  “We found some of their planning materials.  They’d been watching Janine ever since Professor Muggle came to Hogwarts.  Turns out the potential business deal for her boyfriend was a ruse to get her over to the UK.  Just bad luck you two ran into her the first time.”

Robards waved at Rolf to make him stop talking, and the tension between the two was palpable.  “She asked the Auror pretending to be you some questions, and of course he didn’t know the answers, so that’s when things got ugly.  Most of them took off, but we managed to get your ex-girlfriend and capture one of them.  After some friendly persuasion he sang like a bird, and we went after the fake hen night, found them in the middle of a big whoop-te-do and joined in.  It took us a while but we finally got them under control, but by that time most of them had left, and that was when Potter’s house elf showed up.  By the time we arrived at the real location the Invisibles were there and that’s when it really got nasty.”

Rolf went on to say how they’d found the owner, even though he wouldn’t say exactly how they found the man, and that once they got the password to the safe room out of him they started the full assault on the club.  Most of the club was now in ruins, as the middle floor had burned completely through, causing what remained of the top floor to crash in and flatten the middle floor and the bottom floor.  Robards informed Kingsley that the Large Scale Obliviation team was on site, and that the story they’d use was that the club was simply an old warehouse and the cause of the fire was old, faulty wiring. 

I listened to everything, not believing what had happened, and looked over to Harry.  “Is that all of them?  Are they finally gone?”

Harry shook his head.  “I doubt that, but it should take them a long time to regroup.  We’ve got more of them than ever in custody, they lost a few members and I think we’ve gained some intel on their leadership.”  Suddenly he glanced down at his watch and smiled.  “I don’t think they’ll bother us today.  You are getting married in about six hours, right?”


	24. The BLEEPING American Muggle

**Chapter 24:  The BLEEPING American Muggle**

 

When we all arrived back at the castle chaos ensued, but this time without the threat of violence.  Hermione and Ginny grabbed Melody and whisked her out of the room almost as fast as we arrived, even before I could say anything to her.  Hannah took out her wand and after a few attempts Neville’s hair returned, and then she kissed him and half-ran to catch up with the other women.  I stood there and shook my head, not believing what had actually happened.  As I walked up the stairs to my room Nate clapped me on the shoulder.

“You definitely make things interesting, big brother.  Nothing like almost being killed, it’ll be hard to top that one.  Hey, at least you’re not hung over this morning.  Don’t worry, the ring’s safe, I’ve still got it.”

“Good.  That’s one thing I can check off the list.”  I looked over to him and Ted.  “Let’s see, bachelor party?  Check.  Escaping death?  Check.  Ring?  Check.  Awesome.”

We all piled into my room, where all of the kilts and other things were all waiting laid out for us, nametags on the hangers, and I took one look at everything, then my watch and made an executive decision.  We had a long day and night ahead of us, the pictures were starting around noon, so it was officially nap time.  At least, that’s what I thought.  I flopped down in my bed and had just shut my eyes when I felt my arm and leg being pulled and I landed right on the floor.  As I lay on the floor I looked up to see Neville and Mike shaking their heads. 

“Pull it together, Hank.  Come on, you dork, you’re getting married today.  Plenty of time to nap afterwards.”  Mike looked over to Neville, who nodded in agreement.

“But I’m exhausted!  Literally, I don’t have any energy.”  I looked up at them hopefully, but they proceeded to pick me up and half carry me over to a chair. 

Neville stuck a vial with a dark green liquid under my nose.  “You’ll need this, trust me.  I had Hannah make up about twenty of them.  Figured we’d all be feeling a bit under the weather today, but it’ll work just the same.  Perk you right up.  We’ve got enough to last through the day if we…”

“Fine.”  I took three vials out of his hand and drank them down like a shot, hoping that it didn’t taste horrible.  Luckily it wasn’t too bad, so I grabbed another one while Neville looked shocked and put it down as well.

“Hank!  You shouldn’t have done that!  Too much isn’t a good thing.”  Neville looked over to Mike.  “Blimey, he’s going to be bouncing off the walls soon.  Get ready.”

Neville was right, as I was a little hyper.  Ok, that’s an understatement, I felt like I was going one hundred miles an hour and just couldn’t sit still.  Even though it was around ten in the morning I got dressed in my kilt, strapped on Balthasar and then decided to go see how everybody else was doing.  Mike and Neville trailed after me, and when I announced that I was going to send a press release to _The Daily Prophet_ informing them that their publication was just slightly good enough to line owl cages Neville decided that enough was enough. 

The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed with everybody standing around me dressed in their kilts, as I found out later that Neville stunned me for my own good.  Ted shook me and I told him I was already awake, which prompted quite a bit of laughter. 

“We’ve been trying to wake your ugly ass up for the last hour.”  Mike stood there in his kilt and threw an empty pack of cigarettes at me.  “That was half full when you went nighty-night.”

I sat up quickly, trying to put my head together, which wasn’t easy as everything seemed fuzzy.  “What time is it?”

“Almost noon.”  Ron sat awkwardly on a chair, adjusting his kilt and sporran several times.  “We’ve got pictures.  Come on and get your arse out of bed.”

This wasn’t good news for me, so I got out of bed too fast, hit my shin on my trunk and almost wiped out.  That would have been bad for several reasons, so I was glad that it didn’t happen and quickly went in the loo and checked out my hair.  At least it was decent, but my tie was completely screwed.  I tried tying my bowtie, something that I’d done a million times but for some reason I just couldn’t get it to tie. 

“Fuck!”  I untied it again rapidly and felt a tap on my arm.  Dad stood there and shook his head.

“Let me do it.”  Dad took a few minutes, and smiled while he tied it properly.  “Hank, I’m glad we’ve got a minute.  I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while, but it never seemed like the right time.  I just wanted to tell you that your mother and I love you very much and we’re very happy for you and Melody.  I don’t want you to think that because, well, because of everything that’s happened over the last couple years that will ever change.  You’re mother still isn’t very happy that you’re so far away, but we know you’re happier here than, well, happier than you’ve ever been.  Just remember when things get tough, and they will, trust me, remember all that you’ve been through to get to this day.  Remember all of your friends who care about you, and you’ll know what to do.  You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders, just keep it that way.  Also, between us, and don’t tell your mother I said this, wait a few years before you have kids.”

I laughed.  “Mom’s already been dropping hints about another grandchild.”

“Just take some time to enjoy being married.  There’ll be plenty of time for kids.”  He took a deep breath.  “Ok, Hank, are you ready?”

“It’s just pictures, Dad.”

“And right after that’s the ceremony.  I know you’re sure of this, am I right?”

“More than anything.”

“That’s what I thought.  Come on, let’s get everyone and head down before one of the girls sends up a search party.”

 

-ooo-

 

As I headed down into the Great Hall I noticed that the ceiling, initially bright and clear when we’d returned from the Ministry, was now clouding over.  I sighed; hopefully the rain would hold off long enough for the ceremony.  I was still looking at the ceiling and wishing someone knew a weather spell when my mom came over and hugged me very tightly.

“Henry!  We were so worried.  I’m so glad you and everyone else is safe.”  She stood back a step and looked at me intently.

“I’m fine, Mom.  Really.  It’s not usually like that, and the Aurors think they’ve got a majority of them, so no worries today, ok?  Mom?”  I looked down at her and she finally nodded in agreement.

“I can’t believe you boys, first Ted and now you getting married.  It was just the other day…”

“When you had to change his stinky nappies?”  George chose that moment to walk over and, well, be George.

My mom took a look at George and put a hand on her hip.  “Speaking of nappies, you’ll be knee-deep in those soon enough.”

A flash momentarily blinded me, and everyone turned to see the photographer smile and wave at us.  That was the signal for the start of the pictures, and eventually everyone took turns being directed by the photographer, who I recognized as working for _Witch Weekly_.  Everybody seemed to thoroughly enjoy the pictures, especially when Ron walked by and flipped up George’s kilt in the back, which proved to the world that George Weasley wears green briefs with little hippogriffs on them.  Luckily for me I had Balthasar, who warned me whenever someone was attempting a repeat of Ron’s trick.  I took pictures with all of my family, and then the bridesmaids showed up for their pictures as well.  That was the cue for the groomsmen to leave for their pictures with Melody, and I had to admit, when I stood there with all of the bridesmaids I felt pretty lucky.

“It’s really filling up out there!” 

I glanced over to see who had commented and saw Angus Wandsworth in his dress robes.  “Wandsworth!  You’re Head Boy?”

He walked over quickly, grinning from ear to ear.  “Yeah, I am.  Didn’t Headmaster Titus tell you?”

“It’s been a little crazy lately.  Congratulations, Angus.  Well deserved.”

He laughed.  “Thanks.  Yeah, I heard about your bachelor party.  Oh, Mrs. Weasley said that it’s almost time, so you should get ready.”

 

-ooo-

 

Angus’ message seemed to travel very fast through the Great Hall, and before I knew it I was standing at the appointed entry spot next to Neville.  The chairs were spread in more rows than I had thought, making the area by the lake look like a small concert. 

“Holy crap, Nev.  All those people.”

“Don’t worry about that, Hank.  Just concentrate on one person coming down the aisle.  You’ll be fine.”

I talked to all of my groomsmen, and they said the same thing pretty much except for George, of course, who told me that if I was going to pass out to do it after I’d passed the tenth row of chairs, because if I passed out before that he’d lose his bet with Charlie.”

My response seemed to die in my throat when I heard the music begin and noticed for the first time what looked like an entire freaking orchestra down by the main archway, next to where Melody and I were going to get married.  Get married, it was really happening.  Really, really happening.  Suddenly the bridesmaids seemed to appear out of nowhere, paired up with their respective groomsmen, and the pairs began walking down the very long aisle of white that ran down the middle, and as they walked underneath the archways I saw plants begin to grow on the rails of the archways.  Soon it was just Neville and I standing there.

“Ok, Hank, that’s our cue.” 

I nodded, and followed Neville down the aisle, noticing that the plants on the archways now looked as if the flowers were just about ready to bloom.  I took my place and glanced over at my smiling groomsmen and then over to the very pretty bridesmaids, their silvery-blue dresses and flowers beautifully blowing in the breeze.  I felt the breeze kick up a bit and looked up at the sky quickly.  The clouds were getting darker and more plentiful. 

Then I heard the music change and watched as everyone stood up.  There, far away at the end of the aisle I saw her on the arm of her Uncle Reggie.  Her dress was beautiful, and her hair was done in some intricate design that fell around her face beautifully, but most of all I saw the sun peek through the clouds and sparkle on the necklace and earrings that I’d given her for her birthday, just for a few moments.  As she walked through the archways all of the flowers burst into full bloom, covering the frames in a multitude of color.  It seemed as if she would never make it down to me, but eventually she did and Uncle Reggie beamed at me as he gave me her hand. 

We stood there for a moment and I couldn’t help it.  I whispered, but I really didn’t care if anyone overheard.  “You look so beautiful.”

Then our attention was directed to the wizard who was performing the ceremony, the same wizard who had presided over Lavinia’s parents and Minerva McGonagall’s funerals.  I was glad that all I had to do was repeat after him because I didn’t do anything except look at Melody and I have no idea what I said.  Her voice quavered slightly when she followed the wizard’s lead, and I was still looking at her when I felt Neville nudge me and then hand me the ring, which caused a bit of laughter from the guests.  I put the ring on her finger, and then she put a ring on my finger.  After holding hands as directed the wizard pointed his wand at us, and a silver light came out, wrapped around out hands then went up into the sky.

I turned to Melody.  “Kiss me, and make it a good one.”

That caused her to laugh for a second, and then she definitely did as I asked.

As we walked down the aisle through the happy faces of the guests I felt a few raindrops, but luckily we made it into the Great Hall before the rain could actually decide if it really wanted to come down or not.  Then we were shepherded into more pictures, this time just Melody and me, and that seemed to take forever.  The whole time the pictures were being taken I kept laughing and smiling, as I couldn’t believe everything had finally happened after all of the trouble during the year.  Melody’s smile was huge, and there were a few tears, but they were happy tears.  We’d taken pictures all over the castle, it seemed, and finally we stood on a stairway next to a painting of Sir Cadogan, who posed right along with us.  It was after the photographer had finished with us that I finally couldn’t take it any longer, so I pulled her over to an out of the way nook, what the kids called a “snogging spot.”

“So, Mrs. Boyd, was that ok?”

“Perfect, Hank.  Perfect.”  She leaned up and gave me a small kiss.  “You know we’re scheduled to go down and eat soon, but they can’t really start without us.”

“We’re kind of important.”

“Um-hmm.”  She put her arms around my neck.  “They can wait.”

I’m not sure how long we’d been there, but when I heard “Snogging in the halls?  I’ll have to tell your head of house!” and then laughter, I stopped and looked over to see Angus along with Lavinia and Willy. 

Melody looked over to the kids.  “I think the Head of Hufflepuff house won’t mind.”

Lavinia came over and gave both of us hugs and informed us that everyone was waiting for us down in the Great Hall, as it was time for the late lunch and reception to begin.  As we followed them down to the Great Hall Melody nudged me slightly, then looked towards Lavinia.  All dressed up in her silver dress, with very low heels, Lavinia Ryder held hands with Willy Smythe.

 

-ooo-

 

The meal was more like the beginning and end of term feasts, but the house elves had completely outdone themselves.  Somehow we managed to fit everybody in with room to spare, as it seemed that everybody I’d ever met or possibly seen in the Wizarding world was there.  Melody and I made our way over to the staff table, which was serving as the table for the wedding party, and Neville handed me a glass of chameleon champagne.  We then proceeded to eat and enjoy the conversation, and after the plates had been removed Neville tapped his wand on his champagne glass, causing the normal tapping sound to reverberate much louder than if it had been a fork.  Once everyone quieted and looked towards Neville, he stood up.

“As the best man it’s traditional to say a few words about the couple, and since I’m talking about Hank I figure I should take a few precautions.”  He swirled his wand around his head, waited a few seconds, then continued.  “I had no idea that when Minerva McGonagall came to me and told me that we’d hired a new instructor for Muggle Studies that she would have actually hired a BLEEPING American Muggle.” 

This caused the entire room to start laughing, as from my vantage point I could tell that Neville had actually said a curse word, but instead of hearing the word it had been bleeped out, just like on TV.

He looked at the guests.  “Yes, I’ve sanitized this speech for your protection, unlike the poor students in Muggle Studies.  After all, what do you expect when your instructor arrives at Hogwarts depressed, uses unorthodox methods, is loud, smokes, drinks and above all uses BLEEPING BLEEP language?  But after meeting him and working with him, I realized that underneath all that he’s non-judgmental, fair to his students, a good teacher and above all a very good friend.  Such a good friend that instead of asking out Melody, as I suggested, and going on a double-date with me and my now fiancée, he ditched me went to a red-carpet event with a married woman!”

That caused a bit of laughter, especially from the different tables that were occupied by various members of the Harpies.  After waiting for the laughter to die down, Neville went on.

“The next time I talked to Hank he seemed different; something had happened.  Of course, we all know what happened that night; he spent some time with Melody, who he described to me later as ‘BLEEPING hot’.  Since then they’ve had the typical ups and downs most couples have; the same crazy articles in the press and near-death experiences I’m sure everyone who’s married has gone through.  There have been some changes, though.  Melody’s changed jobs, writing a column for _Witch Weekly_ and Hank’s discovered that he’s has such minimal magical abilities that the only thing he can really do is set Christmas presents I’ve given him on fire.”

Neville took a drink of his chameleon champagne, pausing to wait for more laughter to die away.  “Every great marriage is a partnership, and Hank and Melody do make a great team.  With her cooking abilities and his complete observance of rules and regulations they’ve made it work, completely disregarding the fact that he’s two-hundred BLEEPING years old and that she’s entirely out of his league.  Hank has even documented some of their relationship in his book…oh wait, he hasn’t.  We’ll just have to wait for the sequel to _My Wand is Useless…_ a brilliant title by the way, one that was given to him by one of his students.  Poesy Phillips, to be exact.  Poesy, will you stand up?”

Poesy stood up, gave a small wave to everyone and then sat down rapidly.

Neville looked over to me and then out to the guests.  “So why the BLEEPING BLEEP did I just have Poesy stand up?  Because yes, Hanks’ wand is mostly useless.  That’s true, but that’s not the important thing.  What’s important that his heart works, and that he’s found someone else who feels the same way.  For those of us who have been there when everything started, we all know that if ever two people were meant to be together, it’s Hank and Melody.  If you would join me in a toast…”

Everyone stood up and raised their glasses.

With a heartfelt smile Neville looked over to Melody and me.  “To Melody and Hank Boyd…may they always remember this day and have wonderful days for the rest of their lives.”

After drinking I stood up and hugged Neville and Melody gave him a very big kiss on the cheek.  Neville seemed slightly embarrassed, but then he stopped suddenly, as if he had just remembered something.  He leaned over the table, so he could see down to the end, and looked at Mike.  “Let’s start this BLEEPING party, shall we?”

Mike stood up, leaned back to look down the staff table to Penny, who nodded and waved her wand, changing the lights and starting the music.  Now it was time to enjoy the party, and after last night and everything else I definitely planned to do so.

 

-ooo-

 

The music was going, thankfully classic R&B and soul music, perfect for dancing.  When I headed over with Melody to the bar to get another drink Mike stood there, but he didn’t look very happy.

“What’s wrong, Mike?  You can’t be bored.”  Melody teased him.  “Not enough excitement for you lately?  Are we non-Muggles boring you?”

He shook his head and looked around before saying anything.  “No, that’s not it.  It’s my date.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, Hermione fixed you up with her assistant.”  I looked around.  “Where is she?”

“I dunno, Hank.  Hermione introduced us, we chatted for a minute and then she saw some official and left.  Said she had to ask about some regulations or something.”

I clapped him on the arm.  “You know my advice in this situation.”

He laughed.  “Oh yeah.  Drinking heavily.”  We both laughed and Melody looked at us strangely.  “Hank’ll show you the movie later.  Crap, there she is.  See you later, Otter.”

“No problem, Flounder.”

Before I had a chance to explain I heard Neville’s voice above the music calling Melody and me to the dance floor.  As soon as we got there the music changed to Etta James’ “At Last.”  Definitely appropriate.  I took Melody’s hand and went to the center of the floor.

“Be careful of my dress, Hank.  And my shoes…”

“I think you’re in for a surprise.” 

All those years of crap, all the stupidity of my former life, everything horrible that had gone on for the last two years just seemed to melt away and it was just Melody and me dancing, and this time I was really paying attention so I was a lot lighter on my feet than she had expected.  When the song ended we received a round of applause, and then more dances happened, as I danced with Mom and Melody danced with Dad.  Then I got my real surprise, as for the next song Lane Bramble walked directly over to me and we slowly started to move.

“Henry, I want to apologize.  On today, of all days, I know how much you truly love my daughter.  Her father would be so happy for the two of you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bramble, I appreciate it.”

“I think we’re past that now, please just call me Lane.”  She paused for a few moments.  “One of the reasons I’ve been, well, not very nice is that I was scared of losing Gwennie.  She’s the only part I had left of her father after he died.  I was afraid that if you two were together she’d move to the Muggle world in America with you and I’d never see her again.”

I nodded.  I finally got Lane Bramble.  “I understand, Lane.  I’m not trying to take her away from you at all, I…”

“That’s quite obvious now, Henry.  With you at Hogwarts, I know she won’t be far.  For the longest time I thought you’d move her to the UMS and I’d only see her on holiday.  And now you’re becoming quite successful with your books; I heard from a horribly dressed wizard who said he was your agent that your Muggle Studies textbook has been adopted.”

“Yeah, it’s true.  Hogwarts has adopted it and we’ll be stopping by some schools in America, um, the UMS, to talk to them about it when we’re on our honeymoon.”  The song was almost over, but I had to get one more thing in.  “Lane, I can’t thank you enough for the present.  The house is wonderful now.  Please, don’t feel like you have to have an invitation, I want you to stop over whenever you want.”

I saw a small, firm smile form on her face.  “I appreciate that, Henry, but I believe for your sake I’ll let Gwennie know when I plan to visit.” 

The music ended and Lane reached up and kissed me on the cheek, glanced at Melody and then walked off the dance floor with Uncle Reggie.  Melody was almost speechless as she walked over to me.  “What the bloody hell did you do to Mum?”

“I married you, that’s what.  I’ll fill you in later.  Let’s go see if Bill’s making Specials.”

 

-ooo-

 

Two Specials and some informal pictures later I found myself next to Ruby Smythe-Warring, Carrick Frye, Lavinia and Willy.  “So guys, what did you think?  Not to bad for an almost Muggle, huh?’

That got some interesting responses, as Carrick was disappointed that it wasn’t a completely Muggle wedding, Ruby thought it was beautiful but it would last longer, and Lavinia ignored me and chatted with Melody.  Willy stood next to Lavinia, but he didn’t say anything and seemed nervous.  I knew why, so I thought I’d fix that.

“Willy, you’re coming over to have dinner with us and Lavinia after the honeymoon, right?  Carrick and Ruby will be there, and I know what they like from Muggle Club, but what about you?  What do you like to eat?  I could always throw something on the grill.”

He didn’t have time to respond as clinking glasses began erupting all over the Great Hall and I looked over to Melody.  After depositing a rather large kiss on her lips we heard the applause, and looked over to see Poesy Phillips standing with her glass and a fork.  Somehow I knew where the kissing idea had originated.  I wanted to go over to talk to her, but I saw her date tap her on the arm and then point towards the window.  I followed his gesture and a large owl flew into the room, circled and landed by me on a table.  I took the card from the owl’s proffered leg, and the minute I opened the letter an explosion of green and purple light shot into the air.  The text began writing itself in the air, and I noticed that absolutely everyone was watching.  The moment the text became finalized George’s voice rang out loudly through the Great Hall.

_Class: Muggle/Witch Interpersonal Relationships_

_Assignment: Marriage_

_Students: Mr. and Mrs. Professor Muggle_

_Grade: Outstanding_

_Congratulations from Muggle Club!_

_Courtesy of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes_

I waved at my students as laughter went through the Great Hall.  Melody leaned over and pulled me down until I was in whispering range.  “At least you know you’re liked, Hank.  You’ll give Petal a run for favorite professor soon.”

“I think it’s pretty.”  Luna and Rolf came up to us, and while Rolf was wearing a yellow shirt with a yellow tie, Luna was decked out all in yellow.  Yellow dress, yellow shoes, you name it.

Melody and Luna talked about dresses and something, but I knew what I had to do.  I stuck out my hand to Rolf.

“I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you.”

He shook my hand and smiled.  “Perhaps.  Just remember to be careful when you’re in the UMS, ok?  And take the sneakoscope.”

“I will, on both parts.”

Luna came over and put her arm in Rolf’s.  “I think we should leave them so they can kiss.  The Splinkers are very active around them right now.”

After an informal evening buffet as the night wore on it was obvious that the previous night’s near miss was fuel for making everyone have a really good time, as Seamus wobbled by and waved, half-propped up by Harry.  We were standing next to Kingsley, thanking him for everything the Ministry had done on my behalf, when I noticed them coming towards us from the far end of the room out of the corner of my eye.  Kingsley obviously had too, as he leaned over to me. 

“I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you’ve done a very good thing inviting the Malfoys today, Hank.  Draco has not had an easy time since, well, let’s just say it’s been good for him and leave it at that.”

Draco and Astoria greeted us, and I couldn’t help but sneak a look at Melody as Draco politely kissed her on the cheek.  I looked at Astoria and saw her locket prominently displayed as I stepped back from kissing her on her cheek.  “How is Scorpius doing?”

“He’s doing quite well, thank you.  Congratulations to the two of you, it was a very beautiful ceremony.”

“Thank you, but I can’t claim any credit.  My job was basically to show up sober, so I think I did ok.” 

Draco turned from Melody and extended his hand, which I shook gladly.  “Draco, thank you for coming.  It means a lot to me.  I wouldn’t be here without your help, and…”

“Please, it is quite all right, Professor.  I am glad that Astoria and I could assist you in your time of need.  I apologize for leaving you alone and I feel you are entitled to an explanation.  I cannot say much due to our environment, but our sudden trip involved some of the individuals who crashed your bachelor party last night.  Thank you for the invitation to that event, but as I said in my note, I feel our presence today is sufficient imposition on your hospitality.”

“Draco, you and Astoria and Scorpius are welcome at my house anytime.  Remember that.”

He nodded.  “I will.  Astoria?”

Astoria joined him and hand in hand they walked through the crowd, causing a few stares along the way.

I took Melody’s hand.  “That wasn’t too bad, was it?”

“I think I invited the Malfoys over for dinner some night.”  Her voice was odd, as if she’d just seen a ghost.  “Draco Malfoy and his wife are coming over for dinner.  Merlin’s pants.”

 

-ooo-

 

Throughout the rest of the evening I ended up dancing with most of the bridesmaids but Melody’s cousin Amelia declined, as well as Molly and Cho.  I did notice that Ovelia Mimkins, Mike’s official “date” was nowhere to be seen and he was spending the majority of his time with Cho.  I was going to dance with Fleur when the music turned to a slow song, and Bill hurriedly rushed out to take my place; that was a good thing because I wasn’t sure how I’d fare with extended close contact to Fleur.  After dancing with Candice and Jennifer I decided that I had danced enough for a while and sat down next to George, who looked entirely too pleased with himself for my tastes.

“What’d you do now, George?”

He acted shocked.  “Always the tone of suspicion.  What makes you think that I’d do something?”

I looked at my watch.  “Well, Melody and I are leaving at midnight, so we’ve got a few hours.”

“Hilarious.  Merlin, what a comic.  Ok, if you really need to know, I’ve checked some of the video we’ve shot today and I’ve scheduled a showing before you and the Mrs. leave for your honeymoon.  We’re doing it at your mother-in-law’s since she has the most space.”

I was in the middle of taking a drink and coughed up half of it on the table which George siphoned away with his wand.  “We’re doing it at Lane’s house?  How the hell did you manage that?”

“She and Mum were chatting and…”

“Wait, this keeps getting better.  Molly and Lane were chatting?”

“Yeah, with your Mum.  Anyway, we’re doing it after lunch, so you’ll have plenty of time to recover.”  He waggled his eyebrows at me.

Melody took that moment to arrive at the table and sat down exhaustedly in the chair next to George.  “I don’t think I can dance anymore.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re sitting down, love.  Listen to what George has planned for tomorrow.”

We’d had another round of drinks with George, Ron and Hermione when Lavinia stopped by our table.

“Melody, can I stay over at Ruby’s tonight?”

“I thought you were staying with Tinney?”  Melody looked over to me and I motioned with my hands that this was all hers.  “Did something happen?”

Lavinia bit the bottom of her lip, and acted like she didn’t want to say anything.

George came to her rescue.  “I might have seen Tinney and my brother head outside a while back.  I think I’ll go find Charlie.”

Melody smiled, but quickly resumed her serious face.  “I’d have to speak with Ruby’s parents first.  Sorry.”

“Oh that’s ok, they’re here somewhere.  Ruby’s Mum works for the Ministry.”

Lavinia ran off to where Ruby stood, and the two of them disappeared through the crowd.  I looked over to Ron and he shook his head.  “Hermione had a feeling.”

“Yes, Ronald, and I had a feeling about Melody and Hank, and look how that’s worked out!”  She seemed very proud of herself and turned to her husband.  “I think that calls for another glass of champagne.  This one’s empty.”  She held out the champagne flute and tilted it back and forth towards Ron, who took it, stood up and walked away shaking his head.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked backwards to see an upside-down Nate and Lavender.  “What do you want, bro?”

“Where’s Mike?  I think he needs a good smack upside the head.”

“A smack or a punch?  You joking or pissed?”  I turned around to see him holding hands with Lavender.  “Should I go find Audrey, do we need a Healer on standby?”

“I’m just going to smack him in the back of the head, nothing serious.  Did you hear the music they just played?  He said ‘this one’s for Nate’ and played ‘Hungry Like the Wolf.’  Good thing I’ve had a few or I’d…”

I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.  “Oh chill out, you know he’s just giving you shit.”

Lavinia and Ruby returned along with a witch in green robes, and after a few minutes of conversation and some promises by the girls to be good we gave Lavinia permission to spend the night with Ruby.  That led to some excited giggles, and soon the girls were tearing off someplace.  Ruby’s mother congratulated us and soon I started to feel the adrenaline and excitement of the day begin to wane.  It was then that I realized that I’d been up for quite some time, my knockout nap from Neville notwithstanding, and I was going to need to get to sleep soon.

“Oh Mrs. Boyd, are you getting tired?”

“Who said I’m Mrs. Boyd?  Maybe I’ll keep Bramble.”

“Can’t.  You signed the license, you’re a Boyd now.” 

“Well, now that you mention it, I am tired.  Not _too_ tired, mind you, but I am tired.”

That was all I needed to hear.  “Let’s go make the announcement that we’re leaving; I’m sure that will mean we’ll have to say goodbye to a lot of people and we’ll actually leave in another hour, but we better get started now.”

True enough, even though I’m not a seer, it was exactly as I’d predicted.  We spent the better part of an hour saying goodbye to the people that wouldn’t be at the send-off lunch/WeasleyVision show, and eventually we stood next to Neville and Hannah. 

“Is it ready, Neville?”

He nodded.  “Just take the Floo over to your house and it’ll be sitting on your kitchen table.  You can’t miss it.”

I shook Neville’s hand firmly.  “Neville, couldn’t have made it without you.”

“Quite all right, Hank.  You can return the favor later.”

I gave Hannah a hug and a kiss and then I took Melody’s hand and we walked up to my room. 

“Where are we going, Hank?”  By this time she had kicked off her shoes and held them in one hand, while the other hand held up the train of her wedding dress.

“Floo back to our place, and then Neville’s got a portkey waiting for us.  Just a little surprise.”

 

-ooo-

 

As we entered our house for a moment I thought the WLF was there, but then I realized what had happened.  Somehow our entire house was full of packing peanuts, waist high throughout the entire house. 

Melody took a look around and yelled “George Weasley!” towards the ceiling.

“I don’t think he can hear you, Mel, come on.  It’s glowing.”  We waded through the peanuts to the kitchen table, and there, glowing blue, was a copy of my Muggle textbook _With the Wandless: A Muggle Studies Guide._   “Holy crap!  I didn’t know it was ready yet!” 

We touched the portkey and after the definitely nauseating trip due to a combination of Bill Weasley Specials and chameleon champagne, I opened my eyes and saw we had arrived. 

“Ah, the happy couple!”  An older wizard took off his reading glasses and came out from behind his desk.  “And early, too!”  He leaned over to me.  “I don’t blame you, showing up early.”  He walked over to the desk and brought out a register.  I signed in that Mr. and Mrs. Hank Boyd had arrived and he smiled at us.  “Let me show you to your room.”

The entire walk to the room Melody kept nudging me and pinching me, trying to make me look at her but I kept my focus on the wizard ahead of us.  As we came to the end of the hall he took out a large key, unlocked the door and opened it.  “Honeymoon suite, just as requested.  Do Not Disturb sign automatically displays after the door’s closed, check-out’s at noon, but if you need a little extra time don’t worry, it’s all taken care of.  Have a good night!”

After he’d walked away Melody couldn’t take it anymore.  “Hank!  Where are we?”

“Skye, at the Crafty Crofter bed and breakfast.”  I picked her up and put her over my shoulder, like someone would carry a large bag and carried her into the room, hearing the lock click as the door shut itself.

 

-ooo-

 

We all sat in Lane Bramble’s large formal living room as George Weasley fiddled with some last minute adjustments.  He’d set up a huge television against one wall, and his preparations were making Lane nervous.  I watched her adjust her watch twice, straighten her bracelets and smooth her hair.  Finally, as I thought Lane was about to burst George announced that we were ready.  I sat next to Melody and glanced over to her. 

“You ready for this?  Should be interesting.”

It definitely was.  The view of the ceremony was great, as it was like we were standing right next to ourselves getting married.  After panning the crowd, and capturing all the guests, we started in on the reception.  Neville’s toast was even better the second time.  The viewing wasn’t strictly family, as George and Angelina, Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny were in attendance, along with my family.  No Mike, Tinney or Lavinia, but there would be other times for that.  The scene changed and we watched the first dance, and then all of the sudden we had an extreme close up of what I guessed was Angelina’s backside as it walked towards the bar and asked for a sparkling cider.

“George Weasley!” 

Angelina shook her head, and everybody else laughed.  From there it really became interesting, as George stopped for a moment and changed things and we watched what was later known as the Snog Reel.  First up was Melody and me by Sir Cadogan on the staircase, then it found Harry and Ginny, Hannah and Neville, and Ron and Hermione.  So far, nothing out of the ordinary.  Then the scene changed and I started laughing as Ian Coswock and Florence Friday were filmed in an out-of-the way spot by a suit of armor.  I stopped laughing when I saw Willy Smythe give Lavinia a very small kiss, but then it was the tale of Seamus.  First we watched him strike out with Penny and then JoJo.  After a very awkward conversation with Petal Farnsworth he started downing more of Bill’s Specials, and after a camera shift we saw him from behind, obviously kissing a woman.  When they stopped and began to walk away Melody and I couldn’t believe it, as he was with Pepper Brooksip. 

“Is she divorced yet?”  I elbowed Melody.  “Is…”

“Shush, Hank.  This is brilliant.”

“You need to see this next part, trust me.”  George looked over to Ron.  “Wait until Mum sees this.”

Charlie Weasley came off of the dance floor with Kristine Tinney, and he had his arm around her waist while she reached up and grabbed his tie.  They moved over to a dark corner, and sure enough snogging began.  The scene abruptly shifted and Ron yelled at George.

“I cut it short.  Trust me, Ronnie; it goes on for a long time.”

More dancing scenes came up, and there was a lot of joking about how everybody danced, especially Harry who everybody decided was The Boy With No Rhythm.  Mom and Dad danced, and did pretty well, but all of the Weasleys cracked up when they saw Molly and Arthur, as for some reason Arthur liked to stick out his tongue slightly and Molly really got into the song. 

“Hank, I figured you could tell us who the next couple is, as I can’t remember their names.”  George looked over to me.  “Obviously they’re in Muggle Club.” 

I watched the scene change and sure enough, there were two of my students.  Peter Sawgrass and Franny Ellsworth were kissing, but very suddenly they broke apart as Draco and Astoria Malfoy came walking hand in hand next to them.  Draco stopped momentarily, said something quiet to Sawgrass, patted him on the back and then he and Astoria walked away.  Peter looked around to make sure nobody was there, and then he really laid one on Franny.  That caused some laughter, but then the scene changed again and it showed Lane talking to Melody, and then the two of them hugged for a long time.  When I came into the scene and took Melody away to dance, Lane took out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes, but then we saw someone hand her a glass of champagne.  She took the glass and then we watched Lane and Gavin Titus walk out of the room towards the grounds.  We all looked at Lane. 

“He was very comforting, a very nice man.” 

George tapped me on the leg.  “Oh wait, here’s the finale.” 

I watched as the scene changed again, and it showed Melody and I saying goodbye to everybody.  As soon as we had walked away, the camera followed Nate and Lavender, and I fully expected them to kiss, but they didn’t, they walked away as Nate put his arm around Lavender and she put her head on him.  They walked past Mike and Cho, who sat together at a table, holding hands and talking.  Cho leaned up and kissed Mike on the cheek, and then he put his hand on her face and kissed her full on the lips.  The final scene showed Nonky, walking up to the camera, as somehow he could see it even though it was invisible.  His eye filled the room, and then the focus moved back, and he tapped on it until I heard George’s voice telling him to leave it alone.

Everyone was very impressed with WeasleyVision, especially those who hadn’t been present when Angelina announced her pregnancy using the new technology.  I looked at my watch and realized we’d been watching WeasleyVision for over an hour; it was almost time for us to leave. 

“I hate to do this, everybody, but we need to leave soon.  Our portkey’s going to activate in a half-hour, and we can’t miss it or else we’ll have to fly Muggle-style again.”

This led to the real round of goodbyes, and there were a few tears, a lot of hugs and handshakes, and some good-natured teasing.  Since I’d been promised that the house was clear of packing peanuts I felt better about taking the portkey from Colony House this time.  We’d almost side-along apparated when Neville ran forward. 

“I forgot, Hank.  There’s one more surprise for you and Melody; it’s in your office.”

“If it’s some crazy plant that tries to strangle me…”

“Nothing like that.  I’ll see you when you get back.  School’s starting not too long after that, you know.”

We waved at everyone, I felt Melody take my hand and then we were gone.

 

-ooo-

 

As we entered the house I was nervous about going into my office, but at least this surprise was from Neville, not George and his brothers, which was where the packing peanuts came from.  I kept a hold of Melody’s hand as I walked into my office, but I couldn’t see anything different.  There was my chair, my desk, my records and CD’s, everything in place. 

“I don’t think there’s anything different, Mel.”

“I believe there is, Professor.”

I turned to where the voice came from, and there on the wall was a portrait of Minerva McGonagall, smiling warmly at us.  “Minerva!  Now this is a nice surprise.”

“Neville and I talked about it, and I agreed that it was a rather good idea.  He wanted to give you a portrait of Albus as well, but there are so many of his about that you’d hardly ever see him.  Congratulations to you two.  I know you must be going, but make sure to enjoy yourselves.  Don’t spend too much time at book stores and schools, this is your honeymoon, you know.”

“I’ll make sure of that.”  Melody leaned into me.  “Don’t worry, Professor.”


	25. 4 Years Later

**Chapter 25:  4 Years Later**

 

_August 10 th, 2011_

 

“Hieronymus, get down from there!”

I watched my three-year old son stand on the kitchen table, proud that he’d managed to climb up there without my seeing him and swipe a finger through the icing of the cake.  With Virginia, my one-year old daughter in one arm I stood up and walked over to the table, grabbed him with my free arm and put the squirming blonde troublemaker down on the floor where he quickly ran over to his godmother.  Hannah scooped him up and put him on her lap, softly telling him that he’d have to wait until his mother got home to have cake.

As I returned to my chair with a thankfully still sleepy Virginia, Neville sat back in his chair and laughed at me.  “You literally had your hands full, Hank, so what are you going to do with a third?”

“Punt.”  I saw the familiar expression that Neville gave me when I’d ‘done a Muggle’ and shook my head.  “Never mind, I don’t know.  This one was a surprise.”

A baby’s cry got everyone’s attention, and Hannah looked over at Neville.  “I’ve got Hieronymus and it’s your turn.”

Neville nodded, got up from his chair and headed over to Lavinia’s old room, the current temporary nursery.  A few moments later he returned with his daughter who was squirming in his arms.  “Hold on, Alice, just a minute.”  He sat down and got out a small toy, which placated her for the moment.

Hannah gave back Hieronymus the toy dragon that he had given her and looked at me.  “Do you really think this was a good idea, Hank?  An early afternoon surprise party?”

I shrugged.  “Probably not, but once everyone gets here she won’t be able to say anything.”

That made Hannah laugh.  “When have you ever known Melody to not say anything?  She lets you know, especially lately, am I right?”

Thankfully I didn’t have to respond as the other guests began arriving and soon the house became a mass of kids and adults.  The Potters arrived first, which meant that Hieronymus immediately got down from Hannah’s lap and began trailing James and Albus.  Luckily the boys were always good to him, so I didn’t worry.  Lily, however, ran back into the room right after the boys had left saying that James told her that it was boys-only and she had to leave.  As the mediation between Harry and his sons over Lily’s involvement was underway Ron and Hermione arrived, so Rose took Lily into the other room to play with Rose’s ever-present dolls.  I was in the process of making tea when George let himself in the back door, as usual, followed by Angelina, Freddie and Roxy.  

Ginny came over and took Virginia from me, saying that she hadn’t seen her goddaughter in a while and that I needed to do something about the cake, as Hugo and Hieronymus were back at the table trying to get more icing.  I shooed them away and welcomed Arthur and Molly inside and then took a look at the clock.

“She’s supposed to be back.  It was just a checkup at St. Mungo’s.”

Angelina handed me a cup of tea.  “Maybe she went to the shops.  Was she by herself?”

“No, Lavinia just got back from Australia a couple of days ago and went with her.  Maybe they went for tea.”

I went into the living room, glad that I could let the kids play and let Ginny take care of Virginia, and sat down in my chair after kicking Ron out of it.  He complained, as always, but as usual I told him it was my house.  George had the remote and soon we were watching the highlights of the Quidditch League on TV; surprisingly it looked like the Cannons would finish next-to-last if they kept playing like they had been, something that Ron was loudly guaranteeing to Harry.  Neville shook his head and bet Ron a Galleon that they’d be in last place again when the final standings came in, which quickly escalated to Ron betting everyone that the Cannons wouldn’t be cellar-dwellers.

When I heard the door again I looked over to Ginny, who had a better sight line to the door, and she shook her head. 

“It’s Cho and Mike.” 

I didn’t see Cho, but soon Mike came into the living room, and since there were no seats left he looked over to George, twirled his finger and pointed to the floor.  Eventually George got the hint and conjured a chair for him. 

I looked over at him, surprised.  “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Yeah, well Cho said that Jack’s over his cold now, so we figured it’d be ok.  Still has the Terrible Twos, though.  Where’s the guest of honor?”

“Still at St. Mungo’s or off somewhere with Lavinia.”

Mike looked at his watch.  “If she takes a while are you going to grill out?”

“Maybe.”  I thought about how much food I had on hand, and realized that if I was creative I’d have enough to stretch between everybody.  I couldn’t resist the temptation to tease Ron, though.   “Ron, you’re fine with soup and sandwiches, right?”

 

-ooo-

 

Time seemed to stretch out as the clock’s hands moved more and more, yet Melody still hadn’t arrived.  Molly had charmed the cake so that it had an invisible barrier around it, as the temptation was growing for the kids, especially the boys.  To keep their minds off the treats Ron and Harry had decided to break out the toy brooms, so I stood at the back door and watched the kids zoom around the back yard, only a few feet off of the ground. 

“Sorree we are late.”  I looked over my shoulder expecting Melody, but it was Fleur and the kids.  “Bill could not leave work.”

I watched Dominique and Louis run off to join their cousins and Hieronymus, but noticed that Victoire looked as if she’d just been forced to eat worms. 

I figured I’d try to find out what was going on.  “Vic, everything ok today?”

“Sure.”  Her response was slow and she sounded annoyed.

“Don’t try to pull that over on me, I know how you were in my class last year.  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I’m fine, Professor Muggle.”  With that she tossed her hair and rolled her eyes.

“I saw zat!”  Fleur turned to Vic.  “Now you are in charge of ze babies!”

Vic then started whining to her mother about how she always had to watch the little kids and since she was twelve it wasn’t fair that she was always the babysitter.  I figured I’d stay out of that one, so I went into the house and found Molly.

“What’s wrong with Vic?  She seems different today.”

Molly laughed and patted my arm.  “She’s twelve.  Besides that the boy she likes is interested in another girl.  Don’t worry; you’ll be dealing with that soon enough.”

When I heard the music in my office I couldn’t figure who was in there, but a quick examination revealed Mike going through my records.

“Mike, you can’t borrow anything else until you give me back the Johnny Cash albums you borrowed.”

“I know, I know.  Cho cleaned the other day and I don’t know where she put them.  I’ll find them, don’t worry.  I just figured we needed some music to make the time go faster.  Can’t you call her or something?”

“She won’t use a mobile, you know that.  Remember her last birthday?”

Mike laughed.  “Oh yeah, that was a good one.  She opened the box, took one look at the phone you got her and told you she may be married to a near-Muggle but she’s still a witch.”

“What the bloody hell is everyone doing in my house!?”

Mike raised his eyebrows and pointed towards the door.  “I think she’s home, chief.”

 

-ooo-

 

Everyone was wishing Melody a happy birthday when I made it into the living room, and it was obvious that she was definitely surprised.  If she was happy or not, well I couldn’t figure that out yet.  All of the kids had entered and were crowded around, figuring that if Melody was home then cake and ice cream couldn’t be far behind.  After making my way through the crowd I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Happy birthday, Mel.  Surprised?”

Lavinia, her blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, began laughing very loudly.  “You can say that again, Hank.  Audrey gave her a good present at St. Mungo’s.”

Hermione cocked her head inquisitively.  “Boy or girl?”

“Girls.”  Rose answered, and I shook my head.

“No, Rosie, there’s only one baby.”

Melody pushed her glasses to the top of her head and looked over at Rose, and then to me.  “She’s right, Hank.  Girls.”

“Holy shit, twins?”  This caused all of the kids to laugh and Melody gave me _the_ _look_.  “Sorry, but you’re not kidding, Mel?  Twins?”

“Yes, Hank, twin girls.  I’m blaming Poesy.  Something must have been in the chameleon champagne at her wedding reception.”  She walked in and sat down at the kitchen table, having to go slowly to make sure that her already large stomach didn’t bump the table.  “I should have known.  I’m much bigger than with Hieronymus or Virginia.”

_That’s what I had thought too, but I had known better than to say anything.  Twin girls?  Holy crap.  It was a good thing Colony House was expanded right before we got married, because now all the bedrooms would be filled.  Four kids?  And three girls, three weddings…_

I felt a hand shaking me and turned to see Lavinia.  “Good thing Willy and I got married this spring; looks like you’re going to need my old room.”

 

-ooo-

 

After the general commotion had died down, and cake and ice cream had been served, I found myself sitting in my office with Arthur.

“Congratulations, Hank.  Twin girls, how exciting.  Hopefully they won’t follow George and Fred’s examples at Hogwarts.”

“Thanks.  Wow, twins.  Remind me to keep George from telling them stories.”

“I doubt that will happen.  Vic already had one detention thanks to George’s stories.”  He paused, and then began counting off on his fingers.  “Just think, Hank, eventually all of the kids here today will be in your class, not to mention Percy and Audrey’s girls.  If we count your new twins, that’s eighteen children!”

“Good grief!” 

“Hank?”  Melody stood in the doorway, her hand on her stomach.  “Can I see you for a moment?”

Arthur stood up.  “Well, that’s my cue, then.” 

After he left Melody came over and sat in my lap, pinching me a bit against the chair, but there was no way I was going to say anything.  “Hank, at least we don’t have to choose between the names now.  What are you thinking?”

“I think I’m still in a bit of shock, actually.  What about you?”

“Lavinia had to take me for tea, but after that I came out of it.  Just think, Hank, twins.  It’s a good thing Lavinia and Willy have their own place; she’s not going to need her room anymore so we don’t have to add on.  Hieronymus is going to Lavinia’s daycare when you start school, so I’ll only have Gin with me.  Maybe we can get a nanny for a while after the girls are born.”  She paused.  “That sounds rather odd, doesn’t it?  Girls.”

“Yeah, sort of.  You know, everybody’s here, you want to do the name announcement now?  Audrey’s one hundred percent sure they’re girls, right?  No chance of boys?”

“She’s sure, Hank.  I suppose we could.  Think they’ll freak out when we tell them they’re godparents of twins?”

“Probably, but why not?  Makes it easier.  Hard to say no when everybody’s here.”  I smiled.  “You know after the name comes out there’s no way she’ll refuse.  Why don’t you ask them to come in to the office, we should probably ask them in private.”

“I can’t get up that easily.  Am I hurting you, by the way?”

“No, not at all.”  I tried to shift slightly in the chair, but it wasn’t working.  I covered Mel’s ears with my hands and yelled “Hey Ron!  Hermione!  Can you come in here?”

Melody rolled her eyes at me.  “That was brilliant.  I’m deaf.”

“You’re still gorgeous.”

“Thank you, love.”

“Wait, I thought you were deaf?”

Luckily for me Ron and Hermione made it in just in time to spare me some sort of indignity, so I survived for the moment.  After Hermione sat down and Ron stood behind her, I looked over to both of them.

“We were going to wait for a while, after all Mel’s not due until January, but we’d like you to be godparents.  Before you say anything, we weren’t expecting to have twins obviously, but it does make things easier when it comes to names.  We’d agreed on the name, but we had a couple of possibilities for the middle name and had gone back and forth for a while, but now we can use them both.  When they get here, the girls will be named Minerva Lane and Hermione Helen.”

Ron smiled at Hermione, who had covered her mouth with her hands in surprise, and then shook his head at me.  “We would have said yes anyway, but there’s no way we’re declining now.”

Melody got up after some assistance from Ron, and Hermione followed close behind, anxious to tell the news.  I stood up and stretched my legs and then walked over to the other person I wanted to speak to more than anybody else.

“Minerva, did you hear our announcement?”

The portrait of Minerva McGonagall smiled at me, and if a portrait would have been capable of tears, I was sure I would have seen them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends the second Professor Muggle novel length piece. For those who have read and enjoyed this, thank you very much. There will be one more novel-length piece and some other shorter pieces coming up soon.


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